Can't get you out of my mind
by Natascha Romanoff
Summary: Nick Fury has the brilliant idea to partner Romanoff and Rogers up. Two opposites who complete each other in the field. What Fury didn't plan was that they would start to fall for each other. Romanogers. Cap 2 and AoU will be included.
1. Chapter 1

What do you do when you're sick with the flu and can't sleep? You edit the first chapter of your new story and post it.

Enjoy and tell me what you think:)

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Chapter 1

When Nick Fury called her a few weeks after the battle of New York to inform her that he would recruit Steve Rogers for SHIELD and that she would be his partner, Natasha Romanoff thought that Fury was completely bonkers. Not that it was a bad idea to get Rogers to work for SHIELD, no he would be a valuable addition to the agency, but that Fury thought it was a good idea to make Captain America her partner was just insane.

She was almost tempted to laugh at her boss when he told her that Rogers already agreed to it and would be in DC the next week to start his job. Oh and he already knew that Natasha would be his partner and he was according to Nick really looking forward to work with her.

Why on earth would he partner her up with Captain America? They were total opposites. He was light, she was darkness. He was good and she was... well, she didn't consider herself to be evil but she knew that she wasn't a saint either. Let's put her in a grey zone. It was true that she and Rogers worked well together during the Chitauri invasion but that was a completely different situation. Not the kind of mission she was usually send on. She was lurking in the dark and ordered to kill targets. That was her style. She would come and go and before anyone noticed that she was even there the target was already dead. She couldn't believe that Fury would send Captain America on these kinds on missions with her.

He was soldier, he protected people.

She was an assassin, she killed people.

But since Clint was back with his family on his farm to work through the whole brainwashing thing, officially undercover in Chicago, she needed a partner. Rogers couldn't replace Clint and the trust they had but she knew that Captain America would have her back. She hoped the history books weren't lying about his good character and sense of duty.

So she begrudglingly agreed to Fury's request and promised that she would be at the Triskellion next Monday. Fury so very kindly told her that SHIELD could provide her with an apartment but Natasha refused the offer. There was no way that she wanted SHIELD to know where she lived. Besides she already had a nice apartment in DC. Not that she would tell Fury that.

* * *

And of course she was right. Fury didn't send her and Rogers on any missions that required assassinations. Well, of course some missions ended with dead bodies but they mostly weren't ordered to use lethal force right from the start.

Right now she and Rogers were sitting in an observation van in Mexico City. They had been partners for over a year now and she had to admit that after some problems in the beginning they worked like a well-oiled machine.

They were currently after a human trafficking ring that smuggled underaged girls into the States for sex work. If the intel would prove to be right, the US-ambassador was one of the string-pullers behind it. Natasha hated the mission. It just hit way too close to home. She knew how it was when adults lure you with promises of a good life into hell. She hoped that they would find the children soon and she could put a bullet into every head that was behind this. There would be some paperwork if she killed the US-ambassador but it wasn't like he didn't had it coming.

"You okay?" Rogers asked her. He was sitting next to her in the back of the van, staring at the surveillance feed. A SHIELD team was close by to help them rescue the girls. Everyone was just waiting and hoping that they were at the right location. A language school in a suburb of Mexico City.

Even though it was already night, it was still hot and Natasha could feel the sweat building up in the back of her neck. Maybe she should cut her hair again.

"Everything's peachy, Rogers." She replied not looking up from the screen. She was aware that Rogers had excess to her file, _her real file,_ and probably knew why she was so tense. Every muscle in her body was ready to attack. She was ready to pounce in and take everyone out.

She didn't need to look at him to know that he gave her this soft and caring look. She didn't need his pity. He would probably call it compassion. She needed to spill blood.

"Focus on the mission, Cap."

He sighed but didn't say anything else.

An hour later in total silence, there was finally movement. A black sportscar showed up and Ambassador Cullen walked into the school.

"Alright, everyone in positon. " Rogers told the ops team. "Romanoff and I go in first. Rumlow and Rollins, you secure the back entrance. We have to assume they'll use the girls as human shields. Don't take any shots if it could hurt a child. Do you copy?"

Everyone copied and she followed Rogers through the darkess to the school. They needed to be quiet and hopefully everyone would be dead before they could use the girls for their protection.

"Three, two, one..." Rogers used his enhanced hearing. "Okay, go."

Natasha climbed through the window and checked if the muffler were on her Glocks. And then she shot her way through the hallway up to the attic to the girls.

Rogers followed her and knocked everyone with his shield out who wanted to attack them from behind.

The mission was a success. They found 32 scared girls between the ages of 9 until 15 who recognized Rogers and started to cry when they realized that Captain America had come to save them. The data on the computers would later give them the locations of every etablishment in the US where the girls were forced to work at. SHIELD and the FBI found over 2000 girls and brought them home.

And Natasha got to kill the Ambassador when he jumped around the corner and was about to shoot Rogers. SHIELD couldn't fault her for saving Captain America now, could they?

She was outside sitting on the hood of an SHIELD SUV when Rogers was walking towards her. He had his shield on his back and pulled his helmet of his head.

She moved a bit to the side so he could sit next to her. Together they watched how SHIELD agents escorted the girls out of the school to the bus that would bring them to a hospital.

"You've ever had authentic quesadillas, Rogers?" They sat there in silence for at least ten minutes before she asked him.

If Rogers was surprised about her question, he didn't show it. "Not that I can remember."

She looked at her watch. "Well, it's a bit late but I'm sure we can find some place that's still open."

She hopped off the hood and walked to the driver's seat and got in. Rogers looked one last time to the girls and then sat down in the passengers seat.

He gave her a warm smile and she tried her best to ignore the butterflies in her stomach that tried to get her attention.

"Lead the way, Romanoff."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Adjusting to a new world was not easy. Everything was foreign, loud and too bright in the beginning. Nothing made sense anymore. Everyone he knew was dead. Everyone except Peggy but she was in the early steps of dementia and it broke his heart to see her fierce spirit vanish in front of his eyes.

When Fury showed up at his apartment two weeks after the battle of New York - he still had some issues to wrap his head around the fact that aliens were real- and offered him a job at SHIELD, he said immediately yes. He knew from Peggy's file that she help found it and that was a huge factor why he agreed to move to DC. He would work with Agent Romanoff since her partner Barton needed to recover from the whole Loki accident and would then be undercover for a few months. Steve liked Romanoff. She was a capable agent and fought well along side him in the streets of Manhattan. He was still extremely impressed that she jumped off his shield to hijack a Chitauri ship.

So he packed his few things and left Brooklyn a few days later to move to DC.

She made it from the moment they left Fury's office very clear that she wasn't going to hold his hand or baby him. He appreciated that immensely. Everyone treated him like he was made out of glass and it drove him nuts. Everyone except Romanoff. She taught him the rules of espionage, how to use new technology and trained him in various martial arts. They spent hours on the training floor of the Triskelion.

Practically everything he knew and learned in this new world was what she taught him. And he liked to think that she was his friend. He wasn't so sure if Natasha Romanoff did friends but she didn't give him a death glare when he sat down at her table at the SHIELD cafeteria. He witnessed how some Level 2 agent once tried to sit at her table and she gave him her signature death glare and the poor man almost fell over his own feet when he stumbled away.

* * *

They were on their way back from a mission from Mexico City to DC when Romanoff plopped down on a seat next to him on the quinjet and asked him for his book. She gifted him a small notebook a few months ago so he could write everything new down that he wanted to learn about or see. He pulled it out of the unity belt of his uniform and handed it to her. She had a pen in her hand and wrote down quesadiallas and crossed it out.

"You still haven't checked out Harry Potter?" She held the book in front of his face so he could see it. Harry Potter was right over quesadiallas and not crossed out.

"I've read the books but I haven't seen the movies yet." He explained and hoped that she would offer to watch them with him. They didn't do it often but sometimes she would notice something on his list and watch a movie with him at his place or go to a restaurant with him. She introduced him to Thai food last month and he underestimated the hotness of the food and almost burned his tongue off. She was laughing at him with tears in her eyes and it was the pain worth it.

She gave him the book back. "I would start them with you but Barton comes back tomorrow."

Right, Barton was needed for some reports at the Triskelion and had to leave his post in Chicago for a few days. They never confirmed it or showed any PDA at SHIELD but everyone assumed they were an item. Barton saved her and brought her to SHIELD and since then they were inseparable. But then Loki happend and she needed a new partner and he took Barton's place.

He couldn't help but be disappointed that Barton would come back and even if it was just for a week.

"Okay maybe another time, Romanoff?" He asked hopefully. It was maybe sad but she was his only friend and the little time they spend outside of SHIELD together meant a lot to him.

"Sure." She gave him a short smile and stretched her legs. "I think after one year you can call me Natasha."

That for some reason made him incredibly happy. "Only if you call me Steve."

"Okay, Steve." She patted his knee for a second and he liked how his name sounded when she said it. "Hey, did you ask out Lola from Public Affairs?"

He groaned and crossed his arms over his chest. She'd been trying to set him up with several SHIELD agents for the past two months. For some reason she was hellbent on finding him a girlfriend. But he wasn't ready for that and he had to admit that he somtimes wished Natasha would throw her own name in the ring. He knew he wouldn't say no if she asked him out. But she was with Barton and she was his only friend, so he let that fantasy go.

"I told you I don't want to date yet, Natasha." He liked saying her first name. He had a feeling he would use it a lot from now on.

"It is almost a crime that you refuse to share that patriotic booty with the female population of the world." She smirked at him.

He could feel how a blush was forming on his cheeks. "Shut up."

Natasha grinned even wider and looked very pleased with herself. Yeah, he already figured out that she liked to tease him and for some reason he liked it too.

They landed at the Triskelion two hours later and after a short debriefing with Agent Hill they were free to go. Natasha was already in the elevator when he got in. The sun was rising and shined through the glass walls of the elevator and gave Natasha's face and hair a beautiful glow. He couldn't tell when he started to pay attention to those things.

"You gonna go crash or are you gonna run a marathon now, Steve?" Natasha arched one of her perfectly plugged eyebrows at him.

"Nah, I'll think I head straight to bed."

"If you asked out Lola, she might would have been waiting in your bed for you." Her eyes sparkled at him.

"I walked right into that one, didn't I."

"Yup, you did."

The elevator stopped and Rumlow got in.

"Mission went like clockwork, didn't it?" Rumlow said to no one in particular.

Steve felt obliged to answer. "Yeah, it did."

Rumlow turned to Natasha and gave her a look of approval. "Looking fine as always, Romanoff."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "It's like you're begging me to kill you."

They all got out when the elevator reached the garage. Natasha needed to go the other end of it for her car and said goodbye to him.

Rumlow's car was near his bike and so he had to walk a bit with him. "Did you just call Romanoff Natasha?"

"Yeah. So?"

"It's just there are only three people who get to call her that. Fury, Coulson and Clint. And now you. Rollins once called her Natasha and she wiped the floor with him the next day in training. No one ever dared to use her first name again." Rumlow shook his head at the memory and got into his car.

Steve couldn't hide his grin the whole drive back to his apartment. It was a good sign that she allowed him to call her Natasha, wasn't it? He knew how important Fury, Coulson and Clint were to her. He was honoured that he now belonged to that circle as well.

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	3. Chapter 3

_Rumlow is a dick_

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Chapter 3

Barton was back and Natasha was practically attached to his hip. They were at a debriefing for Level 8 agents and when Steve got to the conference room Barton had already taken a seat next to Natasha. Steve usually sat next to Natasha in every meeting and he couldn't stop the jealousy he felt when he saw them together. Agent Hill wasn't here yet and so Barton and Natasha had their heads close to each other and were whispering. Barton said something that made Natasha laugh. He looked up and when he spotted Steve he nodded a hello to him and then continued to whisper in her ear. He chose to ignore them and sat down to Coulson who had his first official day after months of hospitals and rehab. He knew that Natasha was still pissed at Fury for telling them Coulson died to manipulate them into fighting Loki and the Chitauri. While they were fighting in the streets of Manhattan, Coulson was fighting on a OR table for his life.

"Good to have you back, Coulson." Steve gave him a smile.

"Thanks. Good to be back." He looked at Barton and Natasha. "It's gonna be weird not to be their handler anymore. I hear you and Natasha work quite well together?"

"Um, I guess we do." Steve took a sip from his coffee that was still too hot. Fuck, he burned his tongue. Fury offered him after his first six months at SHIELD that he could have a new partner if he wanted to. He declined. Working with someone other than Natasha felt wrong. He preferred the missions where it was just the two of them.

"I'm gonna go back in the field." Coulson said. "Fury gives me my own team."

Steve nodded at him and Agent Hill came in and started the briefing.

* * *

Natasha caught him on his way out after Hill was done.

"Hey, you wanna spar?" She gave him her signature smirk.

"You don't wanna spar with Barton?" He sounded more bitter than he intended. God, why was he jealous? For some reason he could picture Bucky at this moment rolling his eyes at him. _You know why you're jealous, punk._

Natasha furrowed her eyebrows. "He's gotta talk to Fury. Besides he's no match for me."

She grabbed his elbow and he could feel her warmth even through his uniform. He noticed that she touched him more now. Her hand on his shoulder here and a short pat on his knee there. He didn't know why she did it, he just knew he liked it a lot when she touched him.

"So you gonna let me kick your ass, Steve?" She looked up at him, mischief strong in her eyes.

"Pff, you wish. I'll meet you in ten at the ring." He grinned and she let go off him and walked down to the elevator.

Natasha was already in the ring and stretching when he came to the gym. She was wearing only a sports bra and tight yoga pants. He knew that she wore it to distract him and he was ashamed to admit that it worked. She had a really nice figure. He wasn't blind, okay. He knew that Natasha was extremely beautiful and also a fucking dork. Barton was one lucky son of a bitch.

She smiled at him and pulled the robes of the ring apart so he could enter. Rollins and Rumlow were on the other side of the gym and doing push-ups.

"Who wins the first three rounds has to buy the other one a milkshake?" She walked back to one corner of the ring.

"Sure. I want a vanilla milkshake." He grinned at her and she rolled her eyes.

He was strong and fast but she knew how he fought since she was the one who taught him his new fighting style. She dodged all his attacks and danced around him. So far they both won two rounds. This round would decide who had to buy the milkshakes. He didn't mind buying her one but he was also a stubborn ass and didn't want to lose. Natasha ran towards him, stepped on his thigh and was about to wrap her legs around him when he grabbed her and fell to the ground with her. He snuck one arm around her back to soften her fall and was careful to not crush her with his weight. He never did this before and it clearly caught her off-guard. She looked up at him in surprise and then smirked. He was so close to her that he could smell her perfum and her sweat. She really smelled amazing.

"Uncle?" He asked her, sure that he was going win.

She laughed and then somehow rolled them over and pinned him down on the mat. Her whole body was pressed against his and it felt really good. Like she was made to fit to him so perfectly.

She was panting and she looked at him like she never did before. He almost would have called it desire but that couldn't be right. His eyes dropped to her lips that were so plump and red. Was it her natural lip color? He desperately wanted to taste her lips. When he looked back to her eyes, her gaze was on his lips. Did she feel this spark between them to? Should he lean up and kiss her?

Someone laughed and Steve turned his head into the direction it was coming from and saw Barton standing a few feet away from the ring. Fuck, he just found them in a compromising position.

"Uncle." Steve yelled and pushed Natasha off him. He got up without offering his hand to her like he usually did and climbed out of the ring.

Barton smirked at him and then walked to the ring to talk to Natasha.

* * *

Steve had already showered and was about to leave the Triskelion when he noticed that he left his keys in his locker. He got into the locker room and could hear Rollins and Rumlow talking.

"You think they're fucking?" Rumlow asked.

"Barton and Romanoff?"

"No. Cap and her."

What?! He should really go in there and make his presence known but he just stood there and continued to eavesdrop.

"What makes you think that?" That was Rollins.

"Didn't you just watch the same thing I did? Them sparring? That looked straight up like foreplay. Wouldn't be surprised if they are fucking in a supply closet as we speak."

"I thought her and Barton were a thing?"

Yeah, Steve thought so too. Didn't everyone think so? What, did Rumlow think Natasha was cheating on Barton with him? He didn't need to lean in closer because of his enhanced hearing but he did it anyway.

"No, that's just a ruse. Just look at them. There are no sparks between Barton and Romanoff. If they were ever a thing that was years ago. Rogers and her on the other hand? It's like there's no one else in the room when they together. I'm sure they're fucking." Rumlow whistled. "God for Cap. Man that woman looks like sex on legs. I wonder if she fucks how she fights. I bet she knows every dirty trick there is."

"You do realize that she'll kill you if she hears you talk like that." Rollins sounded almost scared. Right, didn't she kick his ass when he used her first name.

Rumlow laughed. "I hope she'll wrap her thighs around my head to kill me. What a way to go. If she would ask, I would fuck her in a heartbeat."

Steve's blood was boiling and he clenched his hands into fists. That was no way to talk about a team member. He waited until Rollins and Rumlow hit the showers to get his keys.

But was Rumlow right? Were Natasha and Barton not an item? Didn't he imagine things and there was actually something between them?

* * *

Clint was staying at her place while he was in DC. He gave her a sweater that Laura knitted for her and drawings from Cooper and little Lila. She hung the pictures in her bedroom and snuggled into the sweater when she and Clint were stitting on her couch and watching Dog Cops. He loved that show for some reason, Natasha didn't understand why. She preferred cats.

Clint suddenly stopped the show and looked at her with amusement in her eyes. She knew him well enough to know that she wouldn't like what was coming next.

"So you and Captain America, huh?" He grinned at her and took a sip from his beer.

"Loki still messing with your head?" She knew that was a low blow but she didn't want to talk about Steve with Clint. She didn't want to talk about him with anyone. Steve was precious to her. She didn't want to talk about him behind his back.

"Mock me all you want but I know what I saw. You could practically cut through the sexual tension you two got going on at the gym."

"How about I cut you?"

"And now you're getting all protective. It's cute, Tasha." She clearly gotten soft if Clint wasn't bothered by her death threat.

He smiled at her geniunely. "I think it's a good thing. You deserve someone in your life. Someone who apprechiates you."

She so didn't want to talk about that and she hated it that Clint was able to see right through her. She had been fighting her feelings for Steve for a few months now. But she knew she couldn't go there. She was aware that Steve was at least attracted to her, she knew how to read people. But he deserved so much more than her.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She lied.

Clint just laughed. "You wanna play dumb, fine by me. You think I didn't notice the dagger looks Steve threw at me during that meeting today? I'm pretty sure he was pissed that I was sitting next to you. And I also noticed how warm your voice sounds when you talk about Steve. And you talk about him a lot."

She snuggled herself deeper into the sweater, hoping it would protect her. "I don't want to talk about it."

"You wanna call Laura and talk to her?" He asked softly.

She just shook her head and Clint turned Dog Cops back on.

Shit, was it so obvious that she was interested in Steve? Did she get so sloppy? She sometimes wondered how it would be to go on a date with Steve. She was sure that he would pick her up at her place with flowers, compliment her, take her to a nice restaurant, open doors for her and drive her back home. He would give her a good night kiss, blush and ask her if they could go out again soon. She could see it in front of her eyes.

Steve was a nice boy and he deserved a nice girl. And Natasha was not a nice girl. She was a killer and seductress. Someone who could never be worthy of Steve Rogers.

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	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

When Stark found out that Clint was in DC he invited everyone to a party at Stark Tower, or rather Avengers Tower as he insisted. Natasha was in no mood for a Stark party but Clint wanted to go and even Steve said he would be there which surprised her. She once asked him to go clubbing with her and he looked downright panicked and stumbled something about having to do laundry. They both knew it was a lame excuse but Steve was so flustered and cute that she let it slide.

Even Thor was back on earth and would come from London with Dr. Foster and her intern. It would be the first time that everyone of them was in one room together. Tony would sent a private jet for her, Clint and Steve and told them that he had a surprise for them at the Tower. God knows that that could be, with Stark it could be anything. Maybe he started building suits for tigers, who knew.

Natasha loved Clint, he was like her big brother. He was family, her wife and his kids were her family. She owed him everything, there was no way she could ever repay him. But right now she would love to kill Clint with his own arrows. She hoped he would drop the Steve topic but he didn't. Oh no he used every single oppurtunity to tease her about her crush, his words not hers. She didn't even know why he was at the Triskelion so much. He had a few meetings and sessions but he didn't need to be the whole day at SHIELD. Clint didn't plan on going back into the field for another couple of months. He wanted to spend more time with his family after Loki. Yet here he was and observed every interaction she had with Steve. Even if he wasn't in the room, she knew that he was watching. He took the whole Hawk thing every seriously and probably hacked into the cameras to spy on her and Steve.

Clint was already waiting for her, leaning against her Corvette, when she and Steve entered the garage of the Triskelion. They had a training exercise with STRIKE and she noticed that Steve was particularly hard on Rumlow. She didn't know why or did she care why. She wasn't a big fan of him. He was a good agent, former marine, but he was an asshole. She never liked him and if Steve wanted to kick his ass, who was she to judge? She rather enjoyed it when he wiped the floor with him.

Steve waved at Clint and then turned to her. "I'll meet you at the airport, right?"

She nodded. She offered that he could share a cab with her and Clint but apparently Steve had a new friend, Sam, who would drive him.

"Yup, we'll see you at 5 pm."

He smiled at her and walked to his bike. She hated how much happy she was when his smile was directed at her. Not that she was keeping scores or anything but she did notice that he smiled at her more than at anyone else here at SHIELD.

"If you scratched my car, I'll cut your balls off."

Clint laughed and moved away from the car. "I think you'll get in trouble with the missus. She wants another kid."

She loved Laura but she didn't think there was any need for more mini-Clints not when he was so annoying. She got into the car and waited for him to sit down in the passenger seat.

"You wanna get Chinese? We still have time before we have to be at the airport."

Clint hummed his approval and Natasha was already driving on the bridge that connected the Triskelion to the mainland when Clint spoke again.

"Why are you trying to set Steve up with every available female employee? I'm sure if you ask him out, he'll say yes."

Natasha ignored him and stared at the road. She hoped that Clint would drop it but of course he didn't.

"You ever think he never asks any of the women out because he waits for you to go on a date with him?" She could see out of the corner of her eye how he was grinning at her.

"Steve needs to explore. All of the women I suggested would make a good girlfriend for him. I did not try to set him up with every woman at SHIELD. It's actually pretty hard to find someone who's good enough for him." She scoffed. There were over 300 female SHIELD agents at the Triskelion and so far she only found nine who were good enough for Steve. Well not really good enough but they were a good enough match for him. She really took some effort to find him women.

"So that's what this is about." They stopped at a red light and she looked briefly at Clint and he gave her small smile. "You think you're not enough for him. Tasha, let me tell you something. You are amazing. Steve would be lucky to date you." He squeezed her hand that was on the gearshift.

"I don't wanna date Steve." She removed her hand to put it on the wheel, she didn't want his pity.

Clint sighed the same way he did when Cooper didn't want to go to bed. "You liking him is not a bad thing. It's actually a great thing. You've been doing so great for so long. You should have something to share your life with."

"I have you. And Laura."

"That's not the same and you know it. I want you to have what I have with Laura."

She had to laugh at that. She could be lucky she wasn't dead or somewhere in a dark cell for the rest of her life. She got more than she ever deserved.

"Just think about it, okay?" She could hear at his tone that he was willing to let the topic go. For now.

"Okay"

She managed to get a parking space right in front of their favorite Chinese restaurant. Clint rubbed his hands. "Mm, Daddy wants some spring rolls and Peking duck."

"Please don't refer to yourself as Daddy when your children are not around."

Clint stuck his tongue out and got out of the car.

* * *

The private jet landed directly on the roof of Stark Tower. No, it was now called Avengers Tower Steve reminded himself. The flight from DC to Manhattan was pleasant. Clint told a few stories about his time at the circus and Steve tried to read the body language between him and Natasha. They didn't act like a couple in front of him so maybe that truly meant they weren't together. Or maybe they were just very private. Steve hoped it was the former because he was buidling up his courage to ask Natasha out.

Tony was waiting on the roof for them and waving like a maniac.

"So good to have the whole band back together." He greeted them. "I heard you and Red are now partners?"

Before Steve could answer, Natasha already barked at him to not call her that.

Tony just shrugged and walked into the Tower with them following him.

"You said something about a surprise?" Clint asked him when they reached the elevator.

"Yup. Since I take the mi casa es su casa very seriously, every Avenger will get their own floor. Thor is already with his entourage at his."

Everyone would get their own floor? Wasn't that a bit over the top? A room was more than enough for Steve. It wasn't like he was very often in New York. He was either on missions or in DC.

"Holy shit, Stark. That's very generous of you." Clint clapped him on the shoulder. "Thanks, man."

Stark just waved him off. "No problem. I want you to feel welcomed here."

Natasha gave him a small smile. "A whole floor is not necessary but thank you, Tony."

"Yes, thank you, Tony. That's very kind of you." Steve agreed.

Tony actually looked like he was blushing and left the elevator to work in his lab. "JARVIS will take you to your floors. The party starts in an hour."

Steve's floor was the first and so he left Clint and Natasha alone. It didn't look like Tony gave them just one floor for both of them, so that meant that he assumed they weren't together, right? He so desperately wanted to ask them if they were an item but he was too afraid to ask. What if they confirmed they were together? He couldn't, _shouldn't,_ dream about taking another man's girl out on a date.

The party was already going on when Steve came to the penthouse. He had some issues to work out the technology of his floor but a patient JARVIS explained everything to him. His floor was gigantic. He had a big master bedroom, a bath with a jacuzzi, a walking-in closet already filled with clothes, his own kitchen, a study and a guest bedroom. He never dreamt in a millon years that he would live in such a place. Everything was so luxurious and tasteful. He had the suspicion that Pepper was in charge of the interior design.

* * *

Tony said that he only invited some of his closest friends but there were at least 30 people in the room. If Steve counted his closest friends, he came up to one. Natasha. And he hoped she would be more than his friend some day. He looked for her in the crowd and discovered her at the pool table with Clint and a brunette woman with glasses he didn't know. His gaze lingered on Natasha. She looked amazing. Her hair was in big waves and she was wearing a glittery top and leather pants. She noticed that he was looking at her and raised her beer bottle at him. He prayed that he wasn't blushing but judging on the smirk on her face he definitely was.

He was considering if he should go over to her when Thor blocked his view.

"Captain! It's so good to see you again!" He boomed and smiled at him brightly.

"You too, Thor. Glad you're back on this planet."

Thor chuckled and dragged him over to the bar to get them drinks. Apparently a Darcy Lewis got him hooked on "Appletinis" and Steve should really try them. The cocktail was fine even though he couldn't understand why apple juice had to be put into a drink. Thor continued to tell him about his brother Loki who apparently died to save him and his father allowed him to live on earth. He mentioned the invasion of London. Steve felt a bit guilty that he didn't help him but Natasha and he were in the deep jungle of Columbia to save hostages when it happened. When they came back the whole thing in London was already dealt with. Thor proudly told him that Jane Foster was considered for a Nobel prize and then he asked Steve if he had someone.

"Um, no." He couldn't help but look through the crowd for Natasha. But she was nowhere to be seen and neither was Clint. He tried his best to ignore the green-eyed monster in his chest.

Thor gave him a warm smile. He really had a comforting presence despite being all tall and dangerous. "I take it adjusting to this world must be as difficult for you as it was for me. Jane really helped me. Well, Jane is the main reason why I want to be here." He laughed.

"Natasha's helping me." Steve blurted out and Thor raised an eyebrow. "Um, well we work at SHIELD together and she helps me with everything I missed in the last 70 years."

Steve suddenly had the feeling that Thor could look right through him. Was mindreading one of his powers?! Shouldn't someone at SHIELD look into that?

"Natasha is a very capable warrior. Not many have succeded in tricking my brother. He took quite the pride in being a trickster." Thor had a sad smile on his face. Steve personally hated Loki for killing so many innocents but he could understand that Thor was grieving his brother. Thor looked at him and chuckled. " Darcy was very excited to meet Natasha. She called her her girl crush. What ever that means.

Banner joined a bit later and talked with them about his project in Sri Lanka to help the locals there. He came more often to the States now to work with Tony on different kind of projects.

* * *

Only the Avengers and Tony's best friend Rhodey and Pepper were now sitting on couches on a podest that allowed you to looked over the party room. Steve didn't want to switch with the cleaning staff who had to clean this mess up in the morning. He hoped that Tony was paying them well.

Natasha was occupying an armchair and had her legs hanging off the armrest. She slid her high heels off and waggled her toes while she was sipping on a martini. He didn't think Natasha realized how cute and sexy she looked right now. The perfect mix.

Clint was currently trying to lift Mjolnir because he was sure that Thor wasn't the only one who could lift it. He was just as unsuccessful as Rhodey and Tony who used their gauntlets together but still couldn't move the hammer. Bruce tried it and pretended to turn into the Hulk which only earned him eyerolls and the hammer still didn't move an inch.

Not that Steve thought he could move the hammer but he got up anyway when they shouted his name. He wrapped his hands around the leather handle and he could have sworn that he felt some kind of energy coming from the hammer. He pulled and he could feel how the hammer moved an inch. He let immediately go.

"Nope, not worthy." He raised his hands and plopped down on the couch.

"Natasha?" Thor asked and she shook her head.

"Pepper darling, don't you want to try it?" Tony patted her knee.

"Oh please, I already have enough on my plate with SI. I don't need a kingdom on top of that." She moved Tony's hand away from her knee and leaned back against the couch.

Thor laughed and swung Mjolnir. "Guess you're all not worthy." He grinned at them.

Everyone groaned and scoffed at him. Thor continued to laugh and placed the hammer on his knee.

They called it a night soon after and somehow he and Natasha were the last ones on the podest while the others were already down stairs. She grabbed his elbow to make him look at her when he was about to go to down to the others.

He turned around and she was smirking at him. "Don't think I didn't notice how you pretended not to be able to move that hammer."

His cheeks were getting warm, it was like she caught him with his hands in a cookie jar. He really thought he pulled it off but of course no one could fool Natasha.

"I don't know what you mean." He lied and she scoffed.

"Oh please! I saw how shocked Thor looked when the hammer squeaked on the table. And suddenly you couldn't move it? One hell of a coincidence." She replied sarcastically.

He knew he was blushing. "I don't think I could pull the cape off like Thor does."

She chuckled. "Maybe. And it would definitely be a crime to cover that nice ass of yours with it." She winked at him and walked down the stairs.

Steve just stared after her. Did she just, did she just flirt with him?

* * *

 _RIP Mjolnir_


	5. Chapter 5

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* * *

Chapter 5

Clint went back to his farm after they spent the weekend at the Tower. It was weird for Natasha to now have a group of people who considered her a friend. She had Clint and sometimes went out to get drinks with Hill and May but that was it. Well, and of course the time she spent with Steve.

She knew she was playing with fire but when Steve asked her again if she would see the Harry Potter movies with him, she just couldn't say no. They watched them over the course of three evenings and ordered food and agreed that the books were better. But then again wasn't the book not always better than the movie adaptation? For the last movie night he even cooked for her. He made her lasagna and she couldn't help but feel like it was a date. And just like in the movies they both went for the popcorn bowl at the same time and when their hands touched she felt a spark going through her body. They both blushed and pulled their hands back immediately. She almost wished that Steve would kiss her good night when he walked her to his door. But he didn't and it was probably for the best. She couldn't lead Steve on, she could never be what he needed. He deserved so much more than a woman with an ugly and bloody past.

So she told him to hang out more with his new friend Sam when he asked her if they could start Star Wars at his place. He looked so sad when she rejected his invitation that she almost took it back but she knew that it was the best for him in the end. She really needed to find a girlfriend for him, so she wouldn't be tempted to jump his bones. Because that was it, wasn't it? She was just attracted to him, that was all. How could she not? He was tall, muscular , handsome and funny and kind. Okay you're getting off track here, Nat. She knew she was lying to herself. If someone asked her what her favourite part of Steve's body was and she would give an honest answer it would be his eyes. And she knew what that said about her.

Fury called her into his office two weeks later to inform her that she would have to "entertain" a target. Entertaining meant to flirt with him and maybe even seduce him if it was necessary. She never had to sleep with a mark for SHIELD but she knew that she would do it if she had to. Fury wanted her to get close to a member of the Yakuza who started to get too powerful on American soil. Osaki Katzumi was the head of the American Yakuza and liked brunette escorts which was Natasha way in. She would go with Katzumi to his place, put on a little show for him and download the data from his computer. STRIKE would be lurking in the shadows in case she needed back up.

Wait STRIKE? The whole team?

"Does that include Captain Rogers, Sir?"

"Of course it includes Rogers, Natasha." Fury would probably roll his eyes at her if he was the type for it. "All members of the Yakzua are highly trained in martial arts, they're basically ninjas. I want Captain America there to clock them down with his shield if it comes to a fight."

Steve had never seen her before in this kind of action. He never watched her do undercover before. She had no problems with flirting and playing with a target. She usually only had to drug the mark when they reached the bedroom, get him out of his clothes, drop a fake-used condom made by SHIELD into the trashcan, leave a cheesy lipstick message on the mirror and could leave with the intel without undressing herself. Yet still every SHIELD agent knew that they might need to have sex with a mark if the situation called for it. What if she had to have sex with Katzumi and Steve had to listen to it over the comms? Would he look at her differently? He came from a different time, would he think she was whoring herself out? Would he think of her less? She wished Clint was still her partner, he knew what was part of the job and would invite her to beer and cheeseburger after the mission. She somehow feared that Steve wouldn't be able to look her into the eyes after this mission. God when did she start to care about what others thought about her?

* * *

Fury sent him, Natasha and STRIKE to Los Angels to take out the Japanese mafia. He and STRIKE were supposed to monitor the situation while Natasha would try to infiltrate the organisation.

Natasha spent the day in the bathroom of the safehouse while they went through the blueprints of Katzumi's club. Steve wondered what she was doing so long in there but he figured it was part of the mission. He could hear the clicking of high heels and Rumlow suddenly whistled. Steve looked up and all he could do was stare. Natasha had brown long hair and was wearing a black shoulder-free dress with a slit on her thigh. Her lips were red and the black eye make up made her eyes even more green. She looked breathtaking.

"You wanna go for drinks after this?" Rumlow asked Natasha when she joined them at the table.

"I would rather die of thirst." She said and stood next to Steve.

Should he compliment her? He should compliment her. "You look great." He whispered and hoped the others didn't hear him.

She gave him a small smile. "Thanks"

Would she wear such a dress if she went on a date with him?

Wait, was she going on a date with their target? Was that the reason why she looked uncomfortable?

"How long 'til you worked your magic and Katzumi is too fucked out to notice you're stealing his data?" Rumlow asked her while he checked the ammo clip of his gun. Did she... were they expecting her to have sex with the guy? Didn't that cross some lines? Was Natasha okay with this?

Natasha just shrugged. "Give me two hours after I entered the club. If I'm not out by then, you can storm the place."

Rumlow nodded and Steve just stared at her with an open mouth. Natasha didn't look at him when she left the safehouse to get to the club. STRIKE followed her in a fake foodtruck and parked in the next street over to the club.

He couldn't stop thinking about the things Natasha might needed to do to get access to their framework. It was her body and her decision and she could do whatever the hell she wanted but he still felt a little sick. Did she only do it because Fury ordered her to? Rumlow and his team didn't seem to be bothered by it and so he tried to play it cool. He promised himself though to ask Natasha after this mission if she wanted him to talk to Fury about these kind of missions.

They could hear over the comm how pleased Katzumi was with Natasha and how he whispered to her how special and beautiful she was. How he couldn't wait to be alone with her. Natasha laughed at his horrible jokes and innuendos.

"No wonder the dude has to pay girls to be with him." Rumlow snickered. "He has zero game."

The rest of STRIKE hummed their agreement and Steve hoped that Natasha would be soon back. He was worried because of the type of mission she couldn't have any weapons on her besides her steel heeled stilettos. If she got made, she didn't have much to fight off Katzumi's people. He knew she could hold her own but over 30 ninja assassins seemed a lot, even for her.

Katzumi asked Natasha if he could show her his private rooms upstairs and she husikly agreed. He knew she faked it but the sound of her voice send a shiver down his spine. He never heard her sound so seductive. Katzumi told her all about his sports cars and the places he could take her. Didn't she want to go to Barbados with him for a weekend? They could have so much fun there, even though she wouldn't see much from the island, haha. Steve really wanted to storm that place and punch the guy with his shield through a wall.

He could hear kissing noises and clothes ruffling. Oh god, did he really have to listen to this? He knew it was all pretend but he was still jealous. Then there was a loud thump and silence.

"Target's asleep." Natasha replied over her comm. "I'll search the place for his laptop."

"Copy that." Steve managed to answer. They could hear the sound of drawer's opening and closing.

"Ha, found it. I'll start to transmit the data."

The screen in the truck showed that SHIELD was now connected to Katzumi's laptop. Data transmitting was at 11 percent. He could hear how Natasha kept roaming through the room. Suddenly there was a gun shot, a scream that sounded like Natasha and breaking noises.

"I've been made." Natasha yelled and it sounded like she was fighting.

"Okay, you heard the lady." Rumlow ordered his team to swarm the place. Steve jumped out the van and ran the street down to the club. Natasha needed him, nothing else mattered. He reached the club before the foodtruck and was already punching his way through to Natasha when he heard how STRIKE started to arrest people.

He ran up the stairs to the third floor where according to the blue prints Katzumi's apartment was. The door was wide open and Natasha fought off two men. Another three were already unconscious on the floor. Katzumi was snoring on the bed. Natasha did a roundhouse kick and her attacker crashed into the bar. The other man spotted Steve and ran towards him and he just grabbed him and threw him behind him against a wall. He had no time for complex fighting, he needed to see if Natasha was okay.

"I had everything under control here, Rogers" She punched the guy in the face when he tried to get off the bar.

"I know." He really knew that, he just needed to protect her. He would come for any of his team members but Natasha was special. She meant a lot to him.

Natasha grabbed a bottle of vodka from the bar and took a sip straight from the bottle. She raised the bottle at him and arched an eyebrow.

"No, thanks."

She shrugged and took another sip. He looked her over to check for injuries and saw blood running down her leg.

"Natasha, you're hurt!" He was by her side with four wide steps.

"Yeah, a bullet grazed my thigh." She took another sip from her vodka bottle.

He reacted on impulse and grabbed her by the waist and lifted her on the bar. He only realized what he was doing when he looked at her shocked face.

"What do you think you're doing, Cap?" She actually sounded more surprised than angry.

"Checking your wound." He replied and ripped the fabric of the dress to uncover the wound. Natasha gasped and he now noticed that he moved to stand between her legs and was very close to her in general. Her eyes were very green, were they always this green?

He grabbed a towel from the bar and the vodka from her hands and cleaned her wound with it. She hissed and he mumbled a sorry at her. "I don't think you'll need stiches, Nat."

If she noticed that he used a nickname she didn't show it. Who was he kidding of couse she noticed it but he wasn't laying knocked out on the floor, so he assumed she was okay with it.

"You don't have to do these missions if you don't want to." He whispered to her.

"It's no big deal."

"Okay. I would have talked to Fury."

"I know. It's part of the job and I never had to sleep with a mark before for SHIELD."

But she did have to sleep with targets before, for the KGB and Red Room. He read her file, he knew what she had to do. And he would have hated it if she had to do it again against her will.

He realized that his hand was still resting on her thigh when she sightly moved it. He looked at his hand on her skin and her skin was so smooth and soft. If he was honest, he would like to touch more of her. He looked up and Natasha's gaze fell to his lips. He read all those dating books Stark gave him as a joke and when a woman was staring at your lips and heavy breathing, it meant she wanted to kiss you, right? Now or never, Rogers! He closed his eyes and leaned towards her. He brushed her lips and she didn't pull back. He was about to press his lips completely against hers when someone spoke up.

"Here you are!" Rumlow shouted from the door frame. Steve jumped back from Natasha who looked startled. Rumlow grinned smugly. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No!" Natasha snapped and jumped off the bar. She winched and he wanted to support her but she patted his hand away and walked over to the bed where the laptop was. She unplugged the USB-drive and threw it at Rumlow. "Here, transmission is complete."

She limped out the room and SHIELD agents came in to arrest Katzumi and his men. Sitwell would later tell them that they had enough intel from their servers to freeze all their accounts and the American Yakuza was bankrupt for now and it would take them some time to rebuild.

Steve got out of the club and Natasha was sitting on the pave walk with a paramedic kneeling in front of her and taking care of her wound. He wanted to talk to her about what just happend. They almost kissed, well lips were slightly touching, so did that count as a kiss? With only two, maybe three , kisses now under his belt he wasn't really an expert in that area. He would wait until DC and when they were alone he would ask her out on a date. After what just happend he was sure he wasn't the only one who felt this spark between them.

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	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

What was she thinking to let Steve get so close to her? If Rumlow didn't walk in on them she knew she would have kissed him and that would have been bad. What could she offer Steve? Nothing. She was weak in that moment, startled by the fact that Katzumi's guy had a jump on her and she didn't move fast enough to dodge the bullet. That was it, the circumstances made her let her walls down and Steve walked right in. She hated how much she enjoyed it when he took care of her wound, how good his warm hand felt on her thigh, how her heart raced when he brushed his lips against hers. And she could tell that Steve didn't plan on ignoring the whole thing like she wanted to. She sat as far away from him as possible during their flight back to DC but everytime she looked at Steve he was already looking at her with a little smile on his face. She tried her best to ignore the flutter in her chest. She couldn't give into her infatuation with Steve. It would be cruel of her to give him hope when she would only eventually break his heart.

As soon as they landed at the Triskelion and were done with their debriefing she fled the scene. Steve tried to talk to her after the meeting but Sitwell needed his signatures for something and she used that chance to leave. She knew she was a coward but she didn't want to see his face when she told him that little moment between them meant nothing because Steve clearly thought something had changed between them. She drove straight to her apartment and was glad that no one knew where she lived which meant that Steve couldn't show up at her place which he undoubtfully would do if he had her address.

The universe was being generous to her when she got to SHIELD the next day. Steve was with Fury at the Pentagon and she wouldn't run into him. The universe was even more generous to her when Hill informed her that she was needed in Hell's Kitchen. Daredevil apparently got caught up in a running SHIELD operation and Natasha was ordered to make him look the other way. Of course they would sent her to deal with Murdock. They knew they had a thing when she was sent to uncover the secret identity of Daredevil and he was more than pissed when he realized that she played him. But the truth was she geniunely liked him and the time they spend together. So she took a regular flight to New York and let herself into his apartment. Matt wasn't really thrilled to see her but he also didn't kick her out. He didn't want to stay away from the SHIELD mission at first but when she told him that he was putting agents in danger with his involvement and the promise that the arms dealer would go to prison he told her that he would back out.

Natasha wanted to sleep with him to get Steve out of her system but when he started to kiss her neck and unbutton her shirt she stopped him. She couldn't sleep with him, she wasn't attracted to him anymore. She wished Steve's lips were kissing her not Matt's. He wasn't mad and took her to his favourite bar for a few drinks. She spent the weekend in Manhattan and went shopping with Pepper, met Bruce for tea and went to the MoMa. She couldn't help but think about Steve the whole time while she was at the museum. She knew that he was a talented artist and he would have definitely enjoyed the exhibit.

She got back Monday morning and didn't need to be at the Triskelion until the next day so she wanted to go to her favourite little cafe that was close to her apartment for a latte and a croissant. She just got through the front door when someone called her name.

Steve. Fuck!

* * *

When he was finally done with Sitwell and his thousands papers that needed to be signed Natasha was already gone. He thought about calling her but he wanted to ask Natasha out personally because that seemed like the right way to do it. He didn't like how everything was now handled through the phone. Too bad Natasha never told him where she lived, he would have gone to her place with flowers and ask her on a date. But maybe that would have been too forward. He hoped he would get a chance to talk to her the next day but Fury already waited for him when he drove into the garage of the Triskelion. They were needed for meetings at the Pentagon the whole day, he cursed Fury and the military but joined his boss nevertheless on the trip. The next day he was informed that Natasha was sent to New York to deal with something SHIELD related.

Sam asked him to meet him for breakfast on Monday morning and he gladly agreed. He liked Sam, he met him during his morning runs and he turned out to be a fun and nice guy. It was good for him to know someone outside SHIELD, especially when he planned to have Natasha as more as just his friend. He spent the weekend googling romantic restaurants and date ideas in DC and he found a rooftop restaurant that looked really romantic, he hoped Natasha would like it there.

He met Sam for their run where he couldn't resist to outrun Sam and yelling "on your left" everytime he lapsed him. He knew he was a dick but there were times when he couldn't even run one round without nearly dying, so let an old man have some fun. Sam was panting and sweating when they were done while he could go for another few miles. They got into Sam's car and Sam changed his shirt and drove them to a café that Sam's sister wouldn't stop raging about and he wanted to try it out.

The place looked like it didn't belong to any franchises but was owned by a private person. Sam chose the breakfast for one person while Steve went for the family version. He needed a lot of calories for his metabolism, he was glad he could now afford to buy that much food. He ate more in one week than some people ate in a month.

"Do you even need to work out?" Sam asked him, watching him devour his breakfast. Those english muffins were really good!

"I need to spend my energy. If I don't do it, I get jittery."

"Man, that's not fair. You eat like a bazillion calories per day and can't get fat." Sam accused.

Steve just grinned and chewed his muffin. Maybe he should order some more. They were really good.

He drank from his coffee when he noticed a redhaired woman enter the café. First he thought it was Natasha but he was probably just projecting because he couldn't stop thinking about her. Now he could see the profile of the woman's face. Wait that was Natasha!

"Natasha" He yelled and waved like an idiot when she looked into his direction. Surprise flickered over her face but it was gone as soon as he spotted it.

She walked over to their table and he pulled another chair to them so she could sit. "Steve, hi." She smiled shortly and then turned to Sam. "You must be Cap's new bff."

Sam grinned at that statement and looked overall very impressed by Natasha's appearence. How could he not? She was so beautiful and she looked so soft and innocent in her wool sweater and with that bun on her head.

Sam got up and shook her hand. "Cap didn't tell me he was hanging out with Black Widow. It's very nice to meet you."

"Well, it's classified. And please call me Natasha."

"Nice to meet you, Natasha. I'm Sam."

Steve got up as well to pull out the chair of her. "Please join us." He hoped he could somehow signal to Sam to go so he could ask Natasha out. This was the perfect moment, they weren't at SHIELD where someone could eavesdrop.

"I can't. I have plans. I just wanted to get a latte to go." She said and Steve couldn't help but be disappointed.

"Why don't I order your latte and you can wait here with Steve for it?" Sam suggest. How did Sam know?

"That's nice." Natasha said and Steve was hopeful again. She looked at her watch. "Oh, I'm already late. Guess no coffee for me. It was nice meeting you, Sam. Steve, I'll see you at work." She nodded at them and left the café.

He watched Natasha through the window until she disappeared around a corner. She didn't turn around once. He looked back at Sam who grinned at him.

"So you're into redheads, huh?"

"What?"

"Dude, your whole face lit up when she walked into here. At first I thougt someone brought in more english muffins until you yelled her name. Can't blame you. She's one good looking chick."

Should he tell Sam about Natasha and their -well could he call it a thing? Probably not. Natasha was a private person and clearly didn't want anyone to know about their almost kiss.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Sam's grin got even wider. "Sure, you don't"

* * *

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	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Of course she would run into Steve on her day off. She never ran into him outside of SHIELD before but of course it would happened after they got too close. It was so stupid of her to let Steve treat her wound in L.A. What was she thinking? Steve looked so happy when he saw her at that café. She was sure that he wanted to take things further between them. And if she were an honest woman, she would confess that she liked to have Steve be more than just her friend. But she wasn't an honest woman, one of the many reasons why she shouldn't get involved with Steve. Ha, like she would ever be good enough for Captain America.

She sprinted the stairs to her apartment up and leaned against the door when she got in. She needed to get Steve out of her head. She was nearing dangerous waters,she couldn't stop thinking about him. She could still feel his warm hand on her thigh and how his lips brushed against hers when she closed her eyes. And it also didn't help that she dreamt about Steve every night. God, if he knew about those kinds of dreams, he would never stop blushing. But the real problem was that she wasn't just thinking and dreaming about sex with Steve that was something she could deal with, no she had to picture how it would be to date him. Spending time together, cuddling, cooking, sitting behind him on his bike exploring Maryland, holding hands- she wondered how it would be if he was her boyfriend. And Natasha Romanoff didn't do boyfriends. Affairs?- yes. Relationships?-hell no. She was too fucked up for that. And she certainly couldn't drag Steve into her hell.

Natasha got up from the door and walked into her small kitchen to make herself cereal and coffee. She was starving since she didn't get to have breakfast at the café because of Steve. Well, it wasn't Steve's fault that she was a coward. She drowned her food and left to drive to SHIELD. She needed to spend the day at the gun rage to shoot at things and hopefully got to scare some low level agents. She didn't think she would run into Steve there since he didn't like guns.

* * *

Steve decided to visit Peggy after his breakfast with Sam. Sam drove him back to his place and he showered and changed into a shirt and jeans. He put the leather jacket on that Natasha forced him to buy. A few weeks after they were partnered up, she showed up at his apartment and dragged him to go shopping with her. She thought it was time for him to dress age apprioate. At first she dragged him to a store that sold rollators but then she took him clothes shopping. It was the first time they spent time outside the Triskelion and it was the first time since he got out of the ice that he didn't feel lonely.

When he got out of his apartment his neighbour Kate,a nurse, was just coming home form work. She was still wearing her scrubs and smiling at him.

"Hi Steve."

"Hey Kate. How was work?"

"The usual." She shrugged and put her key in the lock. "Um, do you maybe wanna go get coffee sometime?"

Natasha always told him that he needed more friends. "Yeah, sure. Sounds great."

Kate smiled and brushed a strain of hair behind her ear. "Awesome. Well, I know where you live."

He had to laugh. "I guess you do. I'll see you."

She nodded and got into her apartment. Steve jogged down the stairs and got onto his Harley. Maybe he could take Natasha on a tour and they could have a picknick somewhere. It was getting warmer now and he hadn't seen much outside of DC yet. Maybe a walk through a small town holding hands. They could get ice cream and he would kiss it off her lips. God, her lips felt so soft against his. He couldn't wait to kiss her for real.

He drove to Georgetown where Peggy's nursing home was and signed the visitor's list. He saw that a "Sharon Carter" visited Peggy this morning. Maybe she was her granddaughter or something. The ward nurse informed him that Peggy was having a good day when he was on his way to her room. He was relieved, it still broke his heart that the fierce and strong Peggy was slowly but surely disappearing in front of his eyes. It was hard to see her old and fragile and he couldn't help but mourn the fact that they didn't get to grow old together but whenever Peggy spoke of her late husband Daniel she had this spark in her eyes and he knew that he wasn't meant to be with her. He somehow knew that even if Steve didn't crash and they got together, Peggy would have still left him eventually to be with Daniel. And that was okay, she had a good life with an amazing husband who adored and supported her and that was all he wanted for her. And maybe he had to sleep for 70 years because his right partner wasn't born yet. He hoped that that partner would be Natasha. He was connected to her in a way he never experienced before. Nothing in this world made sense besides Natasha. When he was with her everything made sense, he felt whole again.

Peggy was leaning against her headboard, wearing glasses and reading the NYT when he came in. She smiled at him, folded the newspaper and put it next to her.

"Steve! What a lovely surprise, dear!" She smelled like flowers when he leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"Hi Peggy. How are you?"

"I'm good. A little bored but good. The nurses won't let me get out today." Her eyes were full of mischief. "Do you think they would let Captain America take me to the park?"

He laughed and left to persuade the ward nurse into letting them go to the park that belonged to the nursing home. He pushed Peggy's wheelchair to a bank under a tree and made sure that the blanket covered her legs so she wasn't freezing. They had watch the ducks on the pond in silence for a few moments when Peggy suddenly moved her hand to hold his.

"You seem conflicted my dear." She squeezed his hand lightly and he could feel her dry and wrinkled skin. He sometimes couldn't believe they were the same age.

"I'm fine, Pegs." He was tempted to tell her about Natasha but that would be weird, right? You didn't talk with your ex-something about the woman you have feelings for, that just didn't seem right. But they did talk about Daniel, she told him how jealous she was when Daniel was suddenly engaged to another woman.

"Have you finally met someone? You shouldn't be alone, Steve." She gave his hand another light squeeze and then pulled away. "I worry about you, you know. I had a wonderful marriage with a wonderful man and I want you to have someone. You don't have to marry the girl right away but you should have someone who loves you."

He turned to look at her and she gave him a small smile. "I hope you're not holding on to me, Steve. I don't want you too. We weren't meant to be."

He nodded. "I know that, Peggy. I'm glad you found your soulmate and got to marry him. I... Well, there is someone."

Peggy's whole face lit up. "There is? Tell me everything about her!"

He wasn't sure how much he could tell Peggy. Pretty much everything was classified. "Um, I know her from work. We work together at SHIELD. Um, I really like her. She's really tough and isn't impressed by me being Captain America." He chuckled. "Um, she's surprisingly funny, super smart, sarcastic and likes to read Agatha Christie novels. She once ran back into a burning warehouse to save a cat and her kittens that showed up on infrared cams. She wrinkles her noise in a really cute way when she laughs. She calls me a dork all the time even though she's the biggest dork I know." He never talked that much about Natasha with anyone before and for some reason he couldn't stop rambling about her. "She's taught me pretty much everything I know about this century. She once tried to sign me up for meals on wheels and always asks for the senior discount when we go eating somewhere. And she's incredibly beautiful. Her eyes are like emeralds and she's just such a beautiful person. I know she doesn't see it that way but she's one of the best people I've ever met." He looked at Peggy. "Sorry, I got carried away."

Peggy just smiled brightly at him. "Oh, Steve. You're in love with her."

"Yeah, I guess I am." He never thought about being in love with Natasha before. He knew he liked her a lot but when he thought about it, of couse he fell in love with Natasha over the last year. He was thinking about her all the time, when she wasn't with him he missed her terribly and he was pretty much convinced Natasha was the greatest person on this green earth. Of course, he was in love with her.

"I really like to meet her." Peggy brushed imaginery pieces of fluff of her blanket. "Agent Romanoff must be one hell of a woman if she makes you that smitten with her."

Agent Romanoff?! Wait, what? How on earth did she know that? He never told her that he was working with her. That was classified. Peggy laughed when she looked at him.

"Oh, Steve. Don't look so surprised. Just because I'm not the Director anymore, doesn't mean I don't know what's going on at SHIELD. Nicholas visits me when he has the time. He told me that he partnered you with Agent Romanoff. He thought that the two of you with your differences would make a great team out in the field. And from what I heard, he was right. But I don't think he planned for you to fall in love with your partner. You might need to prepare yourself for a shovel talk. Romanoff seems to be Nicholas' pride and joy. Not that he would ever admit that."

"We didn't even go on a date yet. I tried to ask her two times but before I could she kinda ran off." He whispered and looked at his lap.

"Give her time, Steve. I know her background. She's not used to affection and love. Give her time to warm up to it. I'm sure she's worth it."

He looked up to her and smiled. "Yeah, she really is worth it."

Peggy returned his smile. "Now that that's settled, roll me over to the pond so I can feed the ducks."

* * *

Natasha got to exhaust herself with testing new SHIELD weapons at the gun range and wiping the floor with other SHIELD agents. Agent Ward seemed to feel especially cocky today and challenged her in the ring but she took him down in no time. He was no doubt experienced in combat but he was no match for her. She was about to hit the showers when she heard two Level 3 agents gossip. She usually didn't pay attention to it but her ears peaked up when she heard her name. She made sure that they couldn't see her behind the corner and listened.

"Have you heard about Romanoff and Captain America?" It sounded like Agent Salky.

"No, I haven't, Molly." That was definitely Agent Inez. Natasha trained her herself in sniping.

"Brock told me about it this morning when we got coffee together. He caught them kissing during an op." She sounded scandalized. They didn't kiss for fuck's sake, their lips only brushed for a second! And why was Rumlow talking about that to Salky.

"Oh please he only made that up to get into your pants! Everyone knows how much you love gossip, Molly." Natasha wanted to clap Inez on the shoulder for saying that. She couldn't have people know about what happened in L.A. She was going to kill Rumlow!

"Oh, I'm telling you Gloria, he was telling the truth. Just think about it, have you ever seen Cap or Romanoff without the other one? They basically clued to each other. They always sit together in the cafeteria, spar together and I heard they always sit together during debriefings. They are a thing."

Fuck, did she get so sloppy that people started to notice that they were close?

"So what, it's none of our business."

"Yeah but aren't you disappointed that he went for _her_? Like he could literally have every single agent here, maybe even the taken ones and he wants _her_? He's like the epitome of everything good and pure and she's, well she's not."

That hurt for some reason. She knew that she wasn't good enough for Steve but hearing someone else say it was still hurtful.

"We don't really know Agent Romanoff. Or Captain Rogers for that matter. She made me a better sniper and I saved a lot of lifes with what she taught me." Ha, she must have made an impression an Agent Inez.

"I'm not saying she's not a good agent!" Salky defended herself. "Hell, I wish I knew how she does this thigh thing but you'd think Captain America would go for an nice All-American girl and not a Russian spy."

Inez laughed. "You mean an All-American girl like you? No offence but I don't think Rogers even knows your name."

"A girl can dream." Salky gruffed. "I mean have you seen him punch those punching bags? God bless America!" She giggled. "Do you think the serum enhanced _everything_?" Oh god, were they in High School? She didn't like were their conversation was headed and was about to enter to defend Steve's dignity when she heard another voice.

"I don't think Captain Rogers would appreciate the way you're talking about him." May said. "That's no way to talk about your superior agents. If I hear these talks again, you can spend the next month on desk duty. Got it?"

Salky and Inez murmured an yes and left. She almost felt bad for Inez, she didn't do anything wrong.

"You can come out now, Romanoff."

Fuck, how did May know she was there? Well she was almost as good as the Black Widow. She came around the corner and May was packing her gym bag.

"Hey, May."

"Don't take it personally. They don't know you." May gave her sympathic nod. How much did she hear?

"It doesn't matter."

"Maybe it doesn't but if it does, it's no one's business but yours and his." She shouldered her bag and walked to the door.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

May turned around. "Okay." She looked like she didn't believe her and then left.

She really needed to change her interactions with Steve if apparently the whole Agency started to gossip. If even _May_ knew about the rumours, she had a problem. She needed to protect Steve's reputation.

Her phone beeped with an email. She and Steve were needed for a mission in Arizona. Just the two of them... Fucking fantastic. So much for avoiding Steve... Fuck.

* * *

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	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

She would meet Steve at a motel near the Mexican border to track down a former SHIELD agent who smuggled alien tech from the Chitauri invasion over the border to South America. He made a fortune with it by selling it to drug lords who use it to terrorize innocent people. Agent Bowler was a piece of shit and she couldn't wait to beat the shit out of him.

She checked into the motel under an alias and was informed that Mister Elliot hadn't check in yet. She was more than thankful than Steve wasn't here yet. She spent the entire flight from DC to Arizona thinking about what to tell him. She knew he wanted to talk about what happened in LA, maybe he even wanted to ask her out. She still didn't know what to tell him. She needed to come up with something that wouldn't hurt him but also made him think she wasn't interested. Maybe she should just tell him that, she wasn't interested in him like that which was a lie but in the end it was better for him. People already started to talk about them, Captain America couldn't date the Black Widow.

She got into her motel room, took a shower and changed into a blue summer dress. It had a flower pattern and swung around her knees when she moved around. She would never wear something like that but it would help her blend it. She braided her hair into a crown around her head and looked into the mirror of the tiny bathroom. She almost laughed, she now looked exactly like the kinda girl that was right for Steve. She slipped into her chucks and went to the bed to check Bowler's file again. He frequently visited the nursing home a few miles from here to see his grandmother. They would have to wait for him to show up and he hopefully would lead them to his arsenal. A SHIELD team from Tuscon would then confiscate the alien weapons and bring them to the Triskelion.

A knock on her door made her look up from the files. It couldn't be room service or the cleaning stuff, so it had to be Steve. She flattened her dress and checked her make up. Was this what normal women do? Make sure they looked good before they saw the man they were into? She opened the door and she was right. Steve was standing before her with a baseball cap and aviator sunglasses on. He wore one of his usual tight shirts and it gave her a good look at his muscular arms and perfect chest.

"Hey, Nat." He smiled brightly at her and leaned down to kiss her cheek. She tried her best not to touch where he kissed her. "They told me you already checked in."

She moved aside to let him in. "You already read the file on Bowler?" Maybe if she could get him focused on the mission, he wouldn't want to talk about their private lifes.

"Yeah, on my flight to here." He sat down on the bed and looked at her. "You look really pretty."

She knew he meant it without any ulterior motive. He just wanted her to know that she was pretty. He liked to compliment her and she liked to hear it.

"Thanks. Not really my style though." She sat down on the chair in the corner of the room and crossed her legs. She noticed how Steve followed her movement and stared at her legs. She coughed and he looked away, a slight blush on his cheeks.

"From what I gathered Bowler visits his grandmother every wednesday. Today is tuesday. Do you wanna get ice cream? There's a place down the road, I saw it on my way here." He gave her his boyish smile that she liked so much.

"I need to go over the file again. Maybe I'll find the warehouse like that." She told him and she could see disappointment flicker briefly over his face. Then he grabbed a file and opened it.

"Then we'll go over it together. Four eyes see more than two." He smiled and moved to make room for her on the bed. Damnit, she wanted him to go. This was a bad idea. It already took all of her willpower not to climb him like a tree.

"I'd rather go over it alone. I have my own system." She said and hoped he would leave her with her dirty thoughts alone. It had been months since she got laid and he looked so tempting with his tight shirt, tousled hair from wearing the baseball cap and light sweat on his forehead from the heat.

"Okay, I'll get it when I'm not needed." He didn't sound offended. He put the file down and got up from the bed.

He walked to the door. "I'll meet you at 7 at that diner around the corner? My treat."

"Doesn't SHIELD pay for every expenses during a mission?" She quipped with a raised eybrow.

Steve laughed. "Well, I guess than it's Fury's treat. Will you meet me there?" He looked at her like it would be more than a simple dinner between colleagues.

 _No_

"Yes."

What?

Steve smiled at her brightly and left. Oh fuck, did she just agree to go on a date with Steve? No, he wouldn't go on a date with her during a mission. That was unprofessional.

She pushed all thoughts about Steve out of her mind and went through the files about Bowler again. But since he used to work for SHIELD, he knew how to not leave a trail. She and Steve had to go to the nursing home tomorrow to track him.

She glanced at the clock, she needed to leave if she didn't want to be late for dinner. She almost didn't go but that would have been rude. And besides, maybe it wasn't a date because if it were a date, wouldn't have Steve picked her up and walked with her to the diner? He certainly was the guy who would do that. So she was probably freaking out about nothing. She hid the files under the mattres and grabbed her purse and left.

* * *

Natasha sighed in relief when she walked into the diner. It didn't look like a place you took someone on a date to. It was an All-American diner straight out of those movies Natasha watched when she defected and tried to leave everything Russian behind her. The waitresses wore aprons and probably called their customers sweetie and honey.

A middle-aged woman with a bright smile came to her. "Hi sweetie, table for one?"

"No, I'm meeting someone, actually." She looked around the diner. Not a lot of people were here and in one booth she spotted Steve. He waved at her when he saw her.

"Oh, you're here with the handsome young man?" She winked at her conspiratorially. "He told me he was waiting for someone. Lucky you, he seems like a great guy." The waitress didn't seem like she realized that Captain America was sitting in her diner.

"It's not like that." Natasha felt the need to defend herself. "We're just friends."

"Oh honey, with a man like that you're never friends. Believe me. You should climb that man like a tree." She laughed. "If I were 20 years younger..."

Natasha forced a smile out and walked over to Steve but the waitress was following her. She probably didn't have much of a life and needed to know how it would continue between them.

"Hi Lizzie." Steve got up and greeted her with her alias.

"Jake." She nodded at him and hid her surprise when he kissed her cheek again. Steve pointed at the seat opposite his and she sat down.

The waitress was smiling brightly at them and handed them menus. "Can I get you something to drink?"

Steve looked at Natasha. "Lizzie?"

"Um, I'll have an iced tea, please."

"For me too"

The waitress nodded and didn't leave without giving Natasha a little thumbs up. She was just glad that Steve didn't seem to have noticed that. Natasha stretched her legs and accidentally kicked his shin.

"Sorry"

He just smiled at her. "Do you know what you want?"

She looked down at the menu. "I'll have a cheeseburger and fries."

As on cue the waitress appeared with their iced teas and Steve ordered the same thing as Natasha.

"I'm glad you finally met Sam." Steve smiled at her. "Maybe the three of us can do something together sometime."

"Are you inviting me to a threesome, Rogers?" She couldn't help teasing him and Steve almost choked on his iced tea.

"Jesus, Nat. No!" He was furiously blushing and it was really cute.

"Wouldn't be my first one." She shrugged and he managed to get even redder.

"I don't share." He muttered under his breath and she wasn't sure if she heard him right. The waitress chose that moment to bring them their food and looked from Steve to Natasha and winked at her. Natasha tried her best to suppress an eye-roll.

Steve told her that Sam worked at the VA and that he sometimes went to the group sessions. She was glad that he found a friend and dealt with his PTSD. He knew that Steve stopped seeing the SHIELD therapist the moment it wasn't mandatory for him anymore. Not that she could blame him, the minute she got cleared for missions she stopped seeing her as well.

He didn't mention LA during their dinner and she followed his example. Maybe she had read way too much into that situation. It would make much more sense that he wasn't into her. What did Agent Salky say? He could literally have anyone. Why would he want her? A broken woman with an urge to kill? Didn't she read on her flight to here in one of those gossip magazins that Taylor Swift said that she would like to go on a date with Captain America? Wouldn't that be a match made in heaven? America's golden boy dating America's sweetheart.

"Nat? You still there?" Steve laughed when she looked at him.

"Yeah. Of course. I need to powder my nose. Excuse me for a moment." She got up and of course Steve raised from his seat. Damn him and his manners and damn her for liking it so much.

She let the cool water run over her wrists. The heat wasn't really her thing. She was Russian for Christ's sake. Her blood was made out of ice. She left the restroom and on her way back to the booth she spotted flyers of a miniature golf course. She snapped one and put it on the table when she sat down again.

"You wanna go there?"

Steve grabbed the flyer and glanced over it. "Sure, sounds great." He gave her that boyish grin again and the butterflies in her stomach tried to get her attention.

"Awesome. Let's pay and then go there." She waved for the waitress and asked for the check. When she tried to grab it, Steve snapped it out of her hands and paid for it. The waitress seemed to be very pleased with his reaction and wished them a great evening.

It turned out that the miniature golf course belonged to the motel and was only a five minute walk away. They paid and got their miniature golf clubs handed.

"You know I've never played mini golf before." Steve told her while they walked to the first station.

"Well prepare yourself to get your ass kicked. Clint still refuses to play it with me again. His defeat was too shameful." She almost told him that Laura and Cooper were there as well but no one could know about his family.

Steve just laughed and got the ball with three tries into the hole. Pretty good for a beginner. The sun was gone when they were halfway through the course and Natasha was leading but Steve wasn't that far behind her. It was dark now and the whole place was lit with twinkling lights and the full moon was shining. She looked around and could only see pairs of two, no bigger groups.

Oh god, she was such an idiot. The others were on dates! Playing minigolf in the moonlight, wasn't that some sort of classic date? Oh god, did Steve think that this was a date? Did she subconsciously take him on a date? Steve walked past by her and brushed his fingers over her arm when he went to get the ball out of the hole. Despite the heat she got goosebumps all over. Fuck, Romanoff you are in so much trouble.

They ended the course half an hour later and Natasha won by ten points. Steve turned out to be a better loser than Clint and bought her a soft ice. They sat down on a bench outside the golf course even though she knew that this was probably a bad idea.

"This was nice." Steve sighed and finished his cone. He looked at her with fondness in his eyes. She couldn't remember the last time someone looked at her like that.

"Yeah, it was." She rasped out. She knew she was playing with fire but she couldn't bring herself to get up and call it a night. She finished her ice cream as well and Steve took her now free right hand. He played with her fingers and she let him.

"Natasha." He smiled at her and brushed a strain of hair that fell out of her braid out of her face. She should stop him, she knew what he was about to do. But she wanted it. His hand moved to cup her cheek and he leaned in. He brushed his lips against hers almost like he was asking for permission. Her whole body felt like it was on fire by the feeling of his lips against her. She grabbed the hair on the back of his neck and kissed him. She could feel Steve smile into the kiss and the hand that wasn't caressing her face moved to her waist to pull her closer. The kiss was soft and gently at first but got more passionate and deeper the longer it went. A car drove past them and she realized that they were out here in the open for everyone to see.

She pecked his lips and grabbed his hand and pulled him of the bench, She dragged him by his hand back to the motel and to his room since it was closer than hers. He was so excited that he had a few problems to open the door and Natasha felt proud by that. Captain America was having problems to get into his room because he was excited that he was about to get into her pants. He laughed when he got the door open and took her hand and led her into the room. She grabbed the collar of his shirt and pushed him against the nearest wall. She had to stand on her tiptoes when she was kissing him. She sucked on his lower lip and when he moaned she took that chance to slip her tongue into his mouth. His hands roamed her back and she couldn't wait for them both to be naked. His arousal was pressing against her and her hands went to his belt and she started to unbuckle it.

"I hope I don't disappoint you." He mumbled into their kiss and she stopped to look at him. The blue of his eyes was almost gone. She bit her lip in excitement.

"Why would I be disappointed?" She got his belt undone and was about to pop his button open. She wanted and needed him now. She didn't think she'd ever been this turned on before.

"I've never done this before." He murmured so quietly, she almost didn't hear it. Never done what before? Having an one-night stand with a co-worker? But then she looked at him again and the embarrassed look on his face told her everything. He never had sex before. He was a virgin. Of course, he was one. Didn't he once imply he was never in a relationship before? And he wasn't the guy for casual sex. God, what the fuck was she doing?

She backed away from him and leaned against the opposite wall. "This is all wrong. We can't do this." His first time shouldn't be with someone like her. She almost felt dirty compared to his innocence. What was she thinking.

"Why?" He almost yelled. "Because I've never had sex before? You can tell me what you want. Show me what you like!" He was heavy breathing and his lips were swollen from her kisses.

Didn't he get that he deserved more than her? Deserved more than an one-night stand in a shabby motel? Because that was all she could give him -an one-night stand.

"I can't do this, Steve. I can't do this to you." She grabbed the door handle. "I'm sorry. You'll thank me one day."

He grabbed her elbow but she shook him off. "Natasha, please talk to me. What did I do wrong? I thought you wanted this too."

She ignored him and went to the staircase to get to her room. This was for the best, he would be eventually happy that he didn't sleep with her. It was only a matter of time until he realized that he didn't really want her. She was his only female friend. Of course he thought he was attracted to her. She went straight for the shower when she got to her room. The cold water helped her to calm down. She knew she did the right thing by not sleeping with him. She wasn't wired to be in a relationship, she couldn't give him what he needed. God, tomorrow would be one awkward day. They could be stuck for hours in a car waiting for Bowler. She hoped Steve wouldn't be too angry with her. Maybe he would have realized by tomorrow that it was for the best that they didn't have sex tonight.

* * *

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	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Steve didn't sleep much that night, not that he needed a lot of sleep- thanks to the serum. He contemplated to go to Natasha's room but decided against it. Maybe it was better if they had time to cool down. He went into the tiny shower of his motel room and despite hating the cold, he turned the water on the lowest temperature. He needed to calm himself. He'd never been this close to a girl -woman before. He knew that he would have slept with Natasha if she didn't run off. He wanted to, he still wanted to sleep with her. He was in love with her and he wanted to make love to her, that's how relationships worked. But they weren't even in a relationship yet. They didn't even go on an offical date yet.

Tonight felt like a date but he wasn't sure if Natasha saw it the same way. He got out of the shower when he couldn't stand the cold anymore and changed into sweatpants and an old shirt. He didn't bother pulling the blanket over him when he got to bed due to the Arizonian heat and he ran like a furnace because of the serum. He looked at the empty side next to him. If they would have had sex, would she be now laying next to him? Maybe resting her head on his chest and he could play with her beautiful hair?

He was dying to ask her about LA the whole time during dinner but he remembered that Peggy said that Natasha needed time. She didn't mention their almost kiss and so he didn't either. He didn't find the guts to ask her out on a date, well to say the word date but he hoped that she would get the message when he asked her to meet her for dinner at that diner. It wasn't his first choice for a romantic evening but he hadn't seen Natasha in days and this was his first actual chance. And he did pay in the end, he didn't use the SHIELD credit card but his own. And then she asked him to play minigolf with her which was an usual activity for dates, wasn't it? So he got the impression that he wasn't the only one who wanted to explore this thing between them. And then they finally kissed for real and he never felt something this intense before. Every nerve in his body was focused on Natasha, the way her lips moved against his and her lovely smell. He stopped thinking the moment she kissed him, he just reacted the way his body told him to. She was right to stop them. He wanted Natasha to be his first but he didn't want to have sex in a motel room in Arizona. He wanted it to happen in a bed that one of them owned and after they went on a few dates. Didn't pop culture tell him that they had to have at least three dates until sex would happen? And he wasn't sure if tonight could even count as a first date. They were here on a mission, he would ask Nataha tomorrow if she would go out with him once they were back in DC.

* * *

Natasha was already sitting in the driver seat of the rental car and waiting for him. He had made sure that no one saw him when he walked to the parking lot of the motel because he had his shield with him and there was no way people wouldn't recognize him with it. But the parking lot was empty and he could go to the car without being made. Natasha's hair was in a ponytail and she wore a grey hoodie and round sunglasses. She was looking at something in her lap.

He was really nervous to talk to her. He talked himself into asking her out last night, then he talked himself out of it and then he talked himself into asking her again. That's how pretty much his night went.

He didn't think about it at first but what if she didn't feel the same? What if she just wanted to have sex with him and when she realized that he never done it before she lost interest in him. Sex and love weren't always connected, he wanted to sleep with her becaue he was in love with her. What if she didn't see it like that and only wanted to have fun? He almost missed the times when he was a little sick kid fom Brooklyn and no girl was looking at him. His life was so much less complicated back then. Did Bucky have these kinds of problems? Not that Steve could remember, the girls were always very forward with Bucky. He wished Bucky was here, he would tell him what do to. Well, he would have probably hit on Natasha like crazy but he knew Bucky would have stepped away once he realized that Steve loved her.

Natasha looked up and he awkwardly waved at her. She gave him a quick nod and her gaze went back to whatever was in her lap. She didn't ignore him so that was a good sign, right? Bucky, what the hell am I supposed to do? He opened the passenger door and got in. He placed his shield between his legs on the floor of the car.

"Morning Rogers." She pointed at the console between them. "I got you a black coffee with no sugar or milk."

"Hi Natasha." Was it bad that she called him Rogers and not Steve? He took the cup of coffee and sipped on it.

"I want to drive through town before we go to the nursing home. Visiting hours are two hours away. Maybe we find something before that."

"Okay."

Nastasha started the engine and drove off the parking lot. They drove through the desert on their way to town. Steve didn't like the desert, he was a city boy through and through. Now was the time to talk to Natasha, they couldn't talk about it while they were on the stake out.

"Natasha, about last night-"

"Don't mention it. I'm sure we're not the first agents that got carried away. Water under the bridge. Don't worry, it won't happen again." Natasha grabbed her iced coffee and sipped on the straw.

That was not the direction he hoped their conversation would be going. Did she really not feel anything for him besides friendship? Wasn't she interested in him like that? Was he the only one who had fireworks in his stomach when they kissed?

"Actually, I was hoping it would happen again." There he said it. He looked at Natasha and hoped she would want the same.

"Despite my reputation I do not hook up with my colleagues on missions." She kept her eyes on the road.

"What?! No, that's not what I meant! I want to go out with you. In DC without any disguises. Just you and me going on a date." He smiled at her but she didn't look at him.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Steve." She sighed and sounded like she was talking to a child.

"Why not? I like you, I like you a lot!" He didn't want to confess his love for her in an old Ford Focus, she deserved more than that.

"Believe me, you don't. You think you like me but you don't. You wouldn't like the real me." She took an illegal u turn and entered the industrial part of the town. "Bowler's warehouse is probably here."

"I know the real you. I see you every day we work together! I read your file, I know what you did and I don't care. I know that you had no choice and I am amazed that you spend your freedom with helping people." He placed his hand on her knee but she moved it to the side. He withdrew his hand and sighed.

"Steve, please. I don't want to talk about this. Just drop it, please." He never heard her sound so vulnerable.

"Okay."

He would drop it- for now. She didn't say she wasn't interested in him, she didn't say she didn't want to go out with him. If Steve Rogers was one thing, it was being stubborn. He knew that he was one stubborn son of a bitch. His ma always used to say that Steve was too stubborn to give into his sickness. Natasha didn't see how great she was and how good they would be together? No problem, he would show her.


	10. Chapter 10

_Unexpected marvel cameo in this one. I even surprised myself:D_

* * *

Chapter 10

In the end the mission went smoothly. Natasha's hunch was right and they found Bowler's warehouse where he kept the Chitauri weapons. They waited until Bowler left to go to his grandmother and raided the place. There wasn't much weapons left but they found a list with all of his buyers so SHIELD could send special ops teams to retrieve them. One of Bowler's people grabbed a Chitauri weapon and gazed Steve's arm when he pushed Natasha out of harm's way. Natasha shot the man in the kneecap and he went down.

She was clearly mad at him that he took the hit for her but while the SHIELD team from Tuscon was loading the plane with the confiscated alien tech Natasha pushed the paramedic out of the way and took care of his wound herself. He almost felt sorry for the paramedic but he enjoyed Natasha taking care of him way too much. It wasn't deep and the wound would be completely gone in a few days without any scarring. He told Natasha so but she didn't seem to care and smacked the bandage with more force onto his arm than necessary.

"Don't do that again." She gruffed at him and checked if the bandage was secure.

"Don't do what?"

"Taking a hit that was meant for me. I'm not worth it." She didn't look at him but stared at his wound and traced the outlines of the bandage lightly with her fingers.

"Hey. Natasha, look at me." He tilted her chin and he was suprised that she let him. "You're my partner and I'll always look out for you. You are so much more worth than a scratch." He wanted to tell her more. He wanted to tell her how amazing she was, that he loved her and just the thought of her getting hurt was driving him insane. He would always protect her.

She poked his wound and he winched. "Seems more than just a scratch."

He knew he promised her that he wouldn't mention any possible romance between them but he really wanted to kiss her. And his hand was still under her chin, he moved his hand to cup her cheek and he was sure that Natasha leaned into the touch for a moment. But then the commanding officer of the Tuscon team called their names and the moment between them was broken. Natasha seemed to realize how close they were to kissing and turned on her heels and practically ran to the agent. Steve sighed and got up to join her and Agent Lance, they still needed to find Bowler.

Border control caught Bowler when he tried to get into Mexico and arrested him. Natasha escorted him on the quinjet back to the Triskelion while Steve still had to get his stuff from the motel and would later take a regular flight back to the DC.

* * *

The DoD asked him to train a few of their special forces and so he spent the next week at a military base in Texas. He couldn't stop the flashbacks he had of his training at Camp Lehigh. He missed DC and he missed especially Natasha. The soldiers were good men and he even met one of Sam's friends but he realized that the days where he felt at a home at a military base were over. He didn't need the Army anymore, SHIELD and Natasha were his home now. He had dinner with the soldiers at the cafeteria but after they were done he excused himself and went to his room. They reminded him too much of the Howling Commandos and Bucky. He checked his phone and saw that Sam sent him a text. They planned to go skydiving when he got back to DC and Sam texted him that his friend cancelled and if Natasha didn't want to take his place. Steve wasn't entirely sure if that wasn't Sam's plan from the beginning because ever since he met her at that café he was asking regualry about her but he didn't told Sam that. He actually really liked the idea, he could spend time with Natasha and she could get to know Sam better. He searched for her name in his contacts and sent her a text.

 _You wanna go skydiving with me and Sam this Saturday?_

Her reply came twenty minutes later when he got out of the shower.

 _Since when do you use parachutes?!:P_

He grinned. Natasha loved to use emoticons.

 _I don't think they'll let me jump out of the plane without one. You guys only let me do it because I outrank you._

He could see that Natasha was typing an answer.

 _Maybe they'll let you jump without it if you bring your shield:)_

 _Do you wanna come with us?_ She still hadn't answered that question. He was almost sure that she would say no to avoid spending time with him. But Sam would be there as well!

 _I guess it's my duty to make sure that a senior citizien doesn't break his hip;) Text me the details I'll meet you guys there:)_

He did so and added that he was looking forward to it. He was actually surprised she said yes.

 _You won't be saying that when I push you out of the plane:P_

He laughed at her text and went with a really good feeling to bed. Only four more days until he would see her again. And Sam.

* * *

Sam picked him up at his apartment and they drove to the South Mountain State Park which was an hour away from DC. Sam told him that he asked out the girl that worked the desk at the VA and they would go on their first date tomorrow. Steve didn't miss the implied message behind it but chose to ignore it. He thought about telling Sam about Arizona but he didn't think it would have been fair to Natasha. She was a private person and he didn't think she wanted Sam to know about what happened between them or rather what didn't happen between them.

Natasha was already waiting for them at the small airport where the skydiving business was located. She was leaning against her corvette and sipping on one of those iced coffees she loved so much. She was completely dressed in black but wore sneakers instead of her favoured black boots. A guy was talking to her but it looked like she was ignoring him.

"Oh uh looks like someone's hunting in your territory." Sam laughed when he pulled up next to Nat's car.

"I don't know what you mean, Sam."

"Yeah, whatever man." He rolled his eyes and got out of his car.

Steve couldn't help but be annoyed with Sam and the guy who was obviously flirting with Natasha. He was kind of attractive if you were into that whole tall, dark haired guy kinda thing. And he looked rich, his clothes seemed to be pretty expensive.

Sam waved at Natasha. "Hey girl, great to see you again!"

"Hi Sam, Steve." She smiled briefly at them. She pulled a flyer out of her backpack and handed it to Steve. He didn't look at it yet but the innocent smile on her face already told him it was a joke at his expense. _Skydiving for seniors- what you need to know._ He rolled his eyes at her and she just smirked at him.

The tall stranger spoke. "Where are my manners. I'm Billy Russo." He shook hands with Sam and then with Steve.

"I'm Sam Wilson and well, this is Steve Rogers."

Russo stared at him and then he seemed to recognize him. He hated it when that happened. He only enjoyed it when it were little kids. "Oh wow, Captain Rogers! What an honor!"

Russo had something about him that reminded him of a soldier. "You served?"

He nodded. "Yup, ex-marine. I'm here with my guys for a team building exercise. I'm a military contractor now."

Natasha snorted but Russo didn't seem to notice it. She wasn't a fan of military contracting. And he wasn't either to be honest.

"Well, seems to be working well for you." Sam nodded at his Rolex.

Russo laughed. "Yeah, I guess so. Never thought I would ever be able to afford such a watch though." Someone called his name and Russo waved at him. "I have to go. It was nice to meet you, Captain Rogers. And you, Mr. Wilson." He turned to Natasha and gave her a smile. "And it was really nice to meet you, Natalie. Here's my card. I hope to hear from you soon." He handed her his card and walked away. Natalie? Didn't he recognize Natasha from the battle of New York?

"So you wanna go in?" She pointed at the small building behind her.

Sam nodded and they followed her. Steve didn't miss how Natasha threw Russo's card into a trash can before she walked into the building. He tried to hide his smile but he could see out of the corner of his eye that Sam saw it and grinned at him.

They listened to the instructions even though all three of them jumped out of a plane more than once and Natasha complained about the pilot the whole flight. After they realized who he and Natasha were and they vouched for Sam, they were allowed to jump without their instructors. Natasha was a little show off and did a few saltos before she opened her parachute. He and Sam landed before her and Natasha somehow managed to knock him to the ground when she landed. He was flat on his back while she sat on top of him and laughed. She pulled the helmet off her head and the wind played with her hair. She looked so beautiful and carefree in that moment. He thanked his eidetic memeory because he already knew he would draw Natasha like she was right now tonight. She patted his chest and then got up and Steve immediately missed the feeling of her body against his. He glanced over to Sam who was giving him a knowing smirk.

They got picked up and drove back to the airport. Natasha suggested to grab a bite and they followed her car to a restaurant in the nearest town. Sam told them about his college days over steaks and fries and Steve even talked a bit about Bucky. Only Natasha didn't tell a story and he was reminded again that she was robbed of a normal childhood and youth. Did she even go to a school? Had sleep overs with her friends? Was crushing on a boy? Probably not. He hoped for those who put her through the Red Room that they were already dead. He wanted to slowly kill them and he knew he would enjoy every minute of it. His dark thoughts shocked him and he focused on Sam who told a story about a naked roommate that made Natasha laugh.

Natasha left shortly after they were done eating. He missed her company already. He would see her again on Monday at SHIELD but that was still over 24 hours ago. Oh god, he got it bad for her.

* * *

 _Let me know what you think._

 _And let's just say Steve doesn't have to wait until Monday to see Nat again;)_


	11. Chapter 11

_Thank you so much for your reviews, faves and follows!_

* * *

Chapter 11

Natasha dreamed about Steve that night. She dreamed that they went on a date in Manhattan and then walked through Central Park holding hands, she took him to her apartment and took him to bed. That part of her dream was quite vivid and she woke up sweaty and aroused. She stumbled into her joining bathroom and took a long and cold shower. Fuck her subconscious for making her dream about Steve! She wrapped herself in a towel and walked to her kitchen to make breakfast. Since it was Sunday and she had the time she made herself avocado toast with poached eggs. She had the whole day off and didn't know what to do. She could read the Agatha Christie biography she bought last week but she wasn't really interested in that now. After she was done eating, she rinsed her plate in the sink and changed into jeans and a shirt. She got her laptop from her bedroom, she wanted to see if the museum had new exhibits. She checked the site of the Smithsonian when she found an exhibit about Captain America. Did Steve know about this? Well, he probably did but he wasn't one to brag. God, if they ever decided to make an exhibit about Stark he would never stop talking about it.

Natasha almost laughed at the irony. Here she was trying to find something to keep her mind of Steve and of course she would stumble across an exhibit about the guy. Ugh! And since she was apparently a masochist she slipped into her loafers and leather jacket and drove to the Smithsonian. She paid for her ticket and entered the section that was dedicated to Captain America. Somehow it was strange to see all this about Steve, he was just Steve to her, she didn't see him as Captain America. She knew how important he was to the American people and to the world but still he was just her partner and friend Steve. But to the rest of the world he was _The living legend and symbol of freedom._ She never thought about how much people depended on him, how much they adored him. No one cared about her after New York and she was happy with it. Her work was so much easier if no one paid attention to her.

She stopped at Sergeant Barnes memorial. Steve sometimes talked about him with a pained look in his eyes, she almost lost her mind when she didn't know if Clint could come back after what Loki did to him, the thought of losing him was too painful. She couldn't imagine how Steve felt about losing Bucky. Steve had no one in this new century, everyone he knew was dead. She had the Bartons and if she thought about it she was the only one that Steve now had. She couldn't push him away, she couldn't be his girlfriend but she wouldn't deprive him of her friendship. Even the Black Widow wasn't that cruel.

At the end of the hall was a room that was turned into a small cinema. The sign on the door informed her that some of Captain America's companions would talk about their time with him. She opened the door and the film was already running. Director Carter was telling how Steve saved a group of men including her future husband. She knew that Steve and Carter were at the beginning of an epic romance before he crashed into the ice. Another reason why she could never be good enough for him. Peggy Carter was a feminist icon and hero and she was a murderer. Steve was clearly confused if he thought that he was into her after his thing with Carter. Howard Stark appeared next on the screen and spoke highly about Steve. Natasha let her gaze linger over the audience and stopped when she spotted broad shoulders covered in a blue jacket. He was wearing a baseball cap but she would recognize those shoulders everywhere. She wondered if the others realized that Captain America was with them in the room. She considered going away before he noticed that she was here but she couldn't just leave him. This exhibit was probably pretty painful for him. She leaned against the wall and waited for the movie to be over.

Steve was the last one still sitting on the bench when the light went back on and people left. She had the urge to walk over to him and wrap her arms around him but she fought against it. Steve got eventually up and turned around. He looked sad but when he recognized her his face lit up and he smiled at her brightly. She would never ever admit it to anyone ever but her knees got weak at the sight.

"Hi Nat." He walked over to her. "What are you doing here?"

She pulled the shield magnet out of her pocket that she bought at the gift shop. "I wanted to have my own shield."

He laughed. "I would borrow you the real one, you know."

She believed him. She knew how much that shield meant to him and yet he would let her use it. She didn't want to think about what that meant for the two of them.

"You want an overpriced hot dog?" She asked him and he nodded. She probably should have just said hello to him and then pretend she had to be somewhere else but she enjoyed his company too much.

Steve paid for their hot dogs and they sat down outside the museum on a park bench. The last time they sat on a bench together they ate ice cream and then made out. Don't think about that Natasha, she chided herself.

"Why did you go here, Steve? I can imagine that it's not easy to take a walk down memory lane."

Steve wipped mustard off his chin and sighed. "I don't want to forget them, you know. The more I settle into this new world the more I'm afraid that I'm forgetting them. There are sometimes moments where I think I always lived in the 21th century. I'm probably not even making sense."

"No, you do. I can understand. But finding your place here doesn't mean you're betraying them, Steve." She hoped her smile was encouraging for him.

"I know." He smiled back and finished the rest of his hotdog. Natasha wasn't really hungry and she gave him the rest of hers.

"Are you with your bike here?"

"Nope, I took the subway." He mumbled between bites.

It was probably a bad idea but the words left her mouth before she could stop herself. "I can drive you home. The subway is filled with people around this time."

Steve looked happy with her offer and nodded. "That be great. Thanks, Nat"

She noticed that he started calling her Nat and she liked it more than she should. Everyone called her Romanoff, Coulson and Fury sometimes Natasha and Clint called her Tasha but Steve calling her Nat felt special. She already knew that he would be the only one who would get away with it.

They talked about the skydiving trip when they walked to her car and she really wanted to do something with Sam and Steve again. Maybe she could have more than two friends. Steve's place wasn't that far away and ten minutes later they reached their goal.

"Do you wanna come in? I've rented Ghostbusters 1 and 2 and I have leftovers of the cheesecake Sam's mom made for me. I'm sure you'll love it. " He gave her his boyish smile and she hated herself for liking it so much.

"I can't, sorry. I have errands to run." That was a lie but she didn't think it was a good idea to spend more time with him.

Steve's smile dropped for a second before it returned. "Okay, another time then. See you tomorrow."

He got out of the car and walked over the street to his apartment building. His neighbor, the nurse, was just walking out of the front door and beamed when she spotted Steve. The normal thing for Natasha to do would have been to drive home but she just watched the scene before here. The nurse walked down the stairs and stopped right in front of Steve. His back was to Natasha and she couldn't see if he had the same idiot grin on his face like the nurse. She touched his arm and was talking to him. Not that she could blame her, probably most women would fawn over Captain America if they lived next door to him. Deep down she knew she was jealous but she wasn't honest enough to admit it. She needed to drive away before Steve realized that she was still there and practically stalking him. But her feet had a mind of her own and she exited the car and walked over to them.

"Hey Steve." She tipped him on the shoulder when she reached them.

He turned around and smiled. "I thought you left."

"Changed my mind. Can't miss your introduction to the greatness that is Ghostbusters." She smirked at him and hoped the nurse would leave.

The nurse looked her with hesitation but then extented her hand. "I'm Kate."

She shook her hand. "Natasha."

"Well, I have to get to work." She waved at them and then walked down the street. Weird, wasn't the next hospital at least a mile away? Maybe she took the bus.

They walked up to Steve's apartment and he put the cheesecake on plates while she put the movie in the DVD player. It had been some time since she last seen Ghostbusters and she forgot how much she loved that movie and Steve seemed to enjoy it to. Natasha's feet got cold and without thinking she pushed them under his thigh for warmth. Steve didn't say anything but placed a blanket over her legs. She enjoyed this way too much, she could picture it now. Watching movies with Steve, eating take out and once the movie was done he would carry her to his bedroom and make love to her. She somehow knew that having sex with Steve wouldn't just be sex but would qualify as making love. His hand moved during the second movie to stroke her leg over the blanket and she let him. She was glad that the blanket and her clothes were covering her skin because she had goosebumps all over.

Steve walked her to his door after they watched both Ghostbusters and a few episodes of FRIENDS. Her feet were the entire time under his thigh and he didn't stop caressing her legs. She was royally fucked. And because she was a fucking idiot she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek when she bid him good night. Steve smiled at her and wished her sweet dreams.

She was already sitting in her car when she pulled her phone out of her jacket. She impatiently waited until the person picked up.

"Natasha?"

"I've been compromised, Laura." She whispered and hoped that Laura would make all her problems go away. "I think I'm falling in love."

* * *

 _And there it is: Ms. Denial finally admitted it to herself_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

She called Laura because she was the one person Natasha couldn't lie to. But she had a feeling that Steve was about to join that exclusive circle. Of course Laura was understanding and encouraged her to explore her feelings for Steve _with Steve_. When she tried to explain to Laura that she wasn't good enough for Steve, she was having none of that.

But what could she offer Steve? What if he wanted to have a family? She couldn't give him that, the Red Room made sure of that. Not that she really wanted to be a mother but Steve certainly would make a great father. What if he would leave her for a woman who wanted and could give him children? Was she supposed to still work with him and act like nothing ever happened? She knew she was getting ahead of herself when they weren't even in a relationship yet but what was she supposed to do? She was never in love before and the feelings overwhelmed her. Was he in love with her too or was he just attracted to her? The chances of him actually loving her back were probably pretty slim. There was no way that someone like him could truly love someone like her. She was a monster, she didn't deserve to be loved. Stupid Steve and his stupid smile and his stupid blue eyes for making her fall in love with him.

Her last thought before falling asleep was Steve and her first thought when she woke up the next morning was also about Steve. Being in love sucked. She didn't like how he infiltrated her mind, she had the slight suspicion that it would make her job harder. She got up groaning and got ready for work. She chose black jeans, a white blouse and a blue blazer. Unlike Steve, she didn't like to run around SHIELD in her uniform. She only wore it on missions and she had a lot of clothes that needed to be worn. She slipped into pumps and grabbed her keys. The streets were empty and she was in no time at the Triskelion.

Steve was sitting on his bike and had two iced coffees in his hand. How did he manage to transport them with his bike? One coffee was black and the other one looked like a latte. She knew that one was for her, she loved iced latte with lots of caramel- she had a sweet tooth. Steve spotted her when she parked and smiled at her. The butterflies in her stomach were dancing when he walked towards her.

He handed her the iced latte. "Just the way you like it. Four pumps of caramel. I don't know how you can drink that stuff."

She took the drink. "Thanks. Years of hard training."

They drove up the elevator and Steve left to change into his uniform. She went to her office to type the rest of a report that was due. Around noon Agent Sitwell called STRIKE into a conference room for a meeting.

Steve was already there and saving her a seat next to him. He really looked good in his stealth suit. He slid a cup of coffee over to her. "No caramel, sorry."

She smiled into her cup and waited for the meeting to start. Rumlow, Rollins and the rest of STRIKE came in a few minutes later with Sitwell.

"Alright guys." Sitwell stood at the podium and plugged a USB- stick into the laptop. "Two weeks ago we sent Agents Gardner and Diaz to Madrid to investigate this young man- David Rockwell." A photo appeared on the screen behind Sitwell. Rockwell couldn't be older than 23 and looked like your typical nerd." We have reason to believe that Rockwell managed to synthesise a serum close to Project Rebirth."

Everyone looked at Steve who kept his eyes on Sitwell. "That's not possible. The formula died with Erskine!"

Sitwell shrugged. "It's not a replica. It appears to be a new version and we have reason to believe that he will sell it to the highest bidder. We had last contact with Gardner and Diaz last week. Rockwell went to Harvard and the MIT, he's one of the brightest minds in the world. If someone could make a new formula it's him."

"So he's the love child of Banner and Stark?" Natasha asked and Rumlow snorted.

"That's one way to phrase it." Sitwell closed his laptop. "I've sent all of you the intel we have so far. We need you to find our agents and the formula and bring them here. Let's hope that no one had their hands on this serum yet." He looked at her. "I hate clichés but this Rockwell doesn't seem to be every experienced. It's the best if you try to flirt with him and get him to talk, Agent Romanoff. He frequently visits the library in Madrid. Just run into him or something and buy him a cup of coffee. You know best how to play him."

She nodded and Sitwell left the room. Steve turned to them. "Okay, quinjet leaves in an hour. Get ready. We may have to engage with enhanced invidiuals. I need your full attention."

The STRIKE team nodded and got up from their seats. For some reason Rumlow stopped behind her and leaned down to whisper in her ear that wasn't next to Steve.

"A guy like that doesn't know what hit him when you work your magic. He probably comes right in his pants when he sees you. You're so fucking hot."

She really had no idea why Rumlow thought that was something he needed to tell her. She was thinking about scratching his car with her keys or pushing him out of the quinjet on their way to Madrid when Steve suddenly jumped up and pressed Rumlow into the wall behind them. He had his arm on Rumlow's throat and it looked like he was using a lot of his strength. Rumlow might be a former Marine but Steve was a super soldier. Rollins and the rest of the gang looked shocked. Rumlow's expression was something between fear and surprise like he didn't think someone would defend her.

"That is no way to talk about your colleague. She's your superior officer, show her some respect! If I ever hear you talk like that to her or any other woman again, we're gonna have a problem, understood?" Steve snarled and put more pressure on Rumlow's throat.

"Understood, Sir." He managed to squeak and after giving him one more stern look Steve released him from his hold. He stepped back and let Rumlow join the rest of STRIKE who hastly left the room.

She was torn between being swoon and angry. No one had ever stood up for her like that before and she was touched by that. But she was also pissed. She didn't need a knight in shining armor, she could deal with this on her own. Did he think she was some damsel in distress? Her angry side won because she was stubborn and proud.

Steve turned to look at her with sheepish smile when she glared at him. "I can deal with Rumlow on my own, you know!"

"I know that, Nat. I just don't like it when someone talks like that about you. Or any other woman. It's disgusting and disrespectful."

"I'll see you at the quinjet." She only replied and turned on her heels.

He called after her but she ignored him. Didn't he realize that people would now REALLY talk about them? Captain America defended her honor, they must be sleeping with each other. Didn't he see how much that would hurt his reputation? Captain America couldn't date the Black Widow.

* * *

The six hour flight to Madrid was awkward to say the least. The STRIKE team was bend over their tablets to read the file and Natasha piloted the plane and made it clear to Steve that she didn't want his company in the cockpit. He looked like a kicked puppy but it was for the best. Rumlow might be intimidated by Steve for now but he would be back to his dickish self in no time and if they now spent time together in the cockpit, Rumlow would use that to spread rumors. Wasn't he trying to get into the pants of that gossip Salky? She would eat this story up and spread it around SHIELD like a wildfire. It wouldn't bother her if there were rumors about her and another agent; she never cared when people thought she and Clint were an item but she didn't want anyone to think she was with Steve. She knew that people didn't say nice things behind her back and she didn't want Steve to get dragged into it. He couldn't run around the Triskelion pinning anyone against a wall who said nasty things about her. Why did she have to fall in love with him? Her life was so much easier when she didn't have to think about protecting Steve from nasty gossip. But then again, she could understand the way Steve reacted when Rumlow said this sexist bullshit if someone talked about Steve like that, she would probably shoot them. She may have had overreacted, she owed Steve an apology.

The safehouse Agents Gardner and Diaz stayed at was empty. No trace that they had been here in the last days. It was already night when they arrived and Natasha was supposed to check out the library the next day to accidentally run into Rockwell. SHIELD provided her with clothes that would make her look like the girl next door. They were about to settle in and get a few hours of sleep when an alarm went off.

"Looks like Gardner and Diaz monitored a factory before they vanished." Steve said after he took a look at the laptop that was beeping."Someone must have tripped a silent alarm off. Suit up, we're checking it out."

They took the quinjet to the factory that was located outside Madrid. Natasha checked her Glocks when Steve gave them orders.

"I'll swipe the area. Rumlow, you and your team enter the building from the front and search for our agents. Na- Romanoff you go in from the backside and search for Rockwell."

Steve left first and they waited for his signal to follow him. STRIKE made a lot of noise so Natasha could sneak into the back entrance. To her surprise the factory was almost empty. She expected a labtory where they produced the serum but there were only metal tables and assembly belts, she couldn't even tell what kind of factory it was. She could see how STRIKE was engaged in combat and by the looks of it, their opponents were enhanced. One punch threw Rollins a few feet away, a normal human wasn't strong enough for that. Steve was still outside taking out people.

She heard a noise from downstairs and followed it. The stairs led her to a hallway that was poorly lit. Agents Gardner and Diaz were leaning against a wall, she checked their pulse and couldn't find any. Fuck! She took a closer look at their bodies and they had to be dead for at least a day.

One door in the hallway was a bit open and she could see movements behind it. She pulled her guns out of her thigh holsters and cocked them. The person behind the door seemed to mumble to themselves.

She kicked the door open and raised her guns."Hands where I can see them."

The person turned around and it was Rockwell. Now that she was in the room she could see that multiple boxes were on fire. One box exploded and she was certain that the serum was in those boxes.

"Why are you burning your work?"

Rockwell raised his hands over his head. He looked like he had cried recently. "Because it was a failure. It's not helping people, it's killing them!"

"What do you mean?"

"It's giving them super strength but only for a short period of time and then it's burning them up. I never wanted that!" He screamed. "I only wanted to help soldiers! My dad was a soldier and he died in combat. I wanted to spar others from that pain."

She believed him. "What about those men upstairs?"

He gave her a dry laugh. "For being so smart I'm a big idiot. I thought they would help me make it and then I could sell it to the DoD but they just wanted the serum for their own agendas. Doesn't matter, they are already as good as dead." He looked at her. "I'm sorry about the agents. I didn't gave them the serum, their leader did."

"Okay, I believe you. Now come with me and help SHIELD find this guy so we can stop him and get justice for our people."

He shook his head. "No, I can't go anywhere. People will want to have the formula and I can't withstand torture. I would sing like a canary."

"SHIELD can protect you."

"No, already enough people died because of me!"

She took a step closer to him. "We can help you, kid. Just come with me." She didn't want to hurt him but she would if he didn't come with her willingly.

Then everything happened so fast, the rest of the boxes exploded and Rockwell threw himself on it. The blast threw her out of the room and against the wall. She knocked her head against it but managed to remain conscious. She got up and ran back to the room but she knew without checking that Rockwell was dead.

"Natasha? Natasha, do you copy?" She heard Steve's frantic voice in her comm. "We heard an explosion. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Rockwell is dead. And so are Gardner and Diaz." She looked at Rockwell and felt sorry for him. He just wanted to help people and then met the wrong kind and now he was dead.

* * *

The SHIELD office in London sent a cargo plan to bring Agents Gardner and Diaz home. Natasha didn't know why but she insisted that they take Rockwell's body on board as well. The European division of SHIELD would look into the organisation that Rockwell worked with to try find their leader. STRIKE flew the quinjet to DC and she and Steve accompanied the coffins back home.

Steve seemed to be surprised when she sat down next to him. "I'm sorry I snapped at you back in DC."

He gave her a small smile. "No, I'm sorry if I upset you. I know you can handle yourself. I shouldn't have stepped in. I just got so mad when Rumlow said those things to you. You didn't deserve that. You are so much more than your looks."

"So, you agree that I'm fucking hot ?" She teased him and he blushed.

"No, I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He told her and blushed even harder.

She swallowed, she didn't think the conversation would go into such a direction. A lot of men had told her that she was beautiful over the course of her life but she knew that Steve meant it genuinely. He didn't say it to seduce her. He just wanted her to know that he thought that she was beautiful. "Thank you."

Steve smiled sheepishly and she didn't know what got into her but she grabbed his hand and interwined her fingers with his. "Do you wanna get breakfast when we're back in DC? Should be morning when we're there."

He looked at their hands and than at her. "I'd love that." He beamed at her and her heart was racing.

They held hands the entire flight back to DC. And it might not meant much to others but for Natasha it was the most intimate thing she'd ever experienced. She was so in love with him that it was already embarrassing.

* * *

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	13. Chapter 13

Longest chapter yet-yay!:)

* * *

Chapter 13

Breakfast with Natasha was nice, it was more than nice. It was great. She told him a few funny things that happened on missions and he still couldn't believe that Coulson once almost seduced a princess for a mission. He wanted to spend the whole day with her but she was tired, they had been awake for over 36 hours and it was taking its toll on her. He walked her to her car and she gave him a light kiss on the cheek before she left.

Even hour later he could still feel her lips on his skin. Thanks to the serum he wasn't tired at all but he didn't know what to do. He wasn't needed at SHIELD and he didn't really had a private life except for the time he spent with Sam and Natasha. Maybe he should go to the VA and join one of Sam's meetings, he hasn't been there in a while and he knew that he needed to work on his PTSD. It wasn't as worse as it was right after they got him out of the ice but he still got nightmares from time to time. He read about incidents where people who suffer from PTSD attacked their loved ones in their sleep when they had an episode. He hoped to share a bed with Natasha one day and he could never forgive himself if he hurt her. He knew that she could defend herself but he was so much stronger than her. He could accidentally kill her. No, he needed to work on his PTSD. For Natasha and for himself. He knew that Natasha had her own demons, he didn't want to burden her with his own on top of that.

He drove to the VA and Sam was in the hallway talking to Carmen who served three tours in Iraq and Afghanistan and recently married her girlfriend. She admitted in one session that she refused to sleep with her in one bed after she came back because she was scared that she would hurt her. But she was so much better now and Steve would take her as an example.

Sam waved at him when he saw him and walked over to him. Carmen nodded at him and then left the VA through the back entrance.

"Hey, man. How are you?"

"I'm good, Sam. You got a session coming up?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, you wanna join us?"

"I think so."

They got coffee and a few people were already sitting in the circle of chairs when he and Sam joined them. He mostly just listened to the others. What could he say? None of them served in World War II but he soon realized that every war was ugly. They all had surviour's guilt and nightmares about what they had to do. It helped him to know that he wasn't alone. And he liked these veterans, they didn't see him as an icon but as a soldier who was just as broken as they were. He just told them that his nightmares were getting better and that he started drawing again. He didn't tell the group that all his sketches were of Natasha.

After the meeting he and Sam stayed on their chairs. "How did your date with the girl from the front desk go? What was her name again?"

"Tess. It was great. We'll go out on Friday again." Sam smiled and looked like was thinking about his date again. God, he was jealous about how easy Sam had it. Steve was pretty sure that if he asked out Natasha on a date, she would say no. She wasn't ready yet. He felt that she was warming up to the idea of dating him though. She held his hand the entire flight back from Madrid and started to kiss his cheek as a goodbye but she wasn't there yet.

Sam gave him a calculating look. "You're thinking about her, aren't you?" They both knew who he was referring to.

He didn't see the point in lying and just nodded. He would love to talk with Sam about Natasha but if felt like betraying her. Betraying her trust and he knew that she didn't trust easily. How could she with the life she had?

"That reminds me," Sam got three tickets out of his pocket. " My friend gave me tickets to the Washington Nationals game tomorrow. You and Natasha wanna join me?"

He hadn't been to a baseball game since he and Bucky sneaked into a Dodgers game in 1937. He still couldn't believe they moved to LA! To fucking LA! He didn't know about Natasha but he would love to go.

"I'm in. But why don't you ask Tess?"

"She has a thing with her mom. Besides I like spending time with you and Natasha. She's a cool chick." Sam got up from his chair. "Let's grab some cake and you can text Natasha if she wants to come with us."

Natasha didn't reply immediately, she probably was still sleeping. He was at home and watching FRIENDS when his phone beeped with her answer. He almost expected her to decline but she texted him that she would meet them at the stadium. He was sure that he was grinning like an idot when he read her text. He got to spend the day with Natasha again! And Sam of course...

* * *

Natasha was already at the main entrance waiting for him and Steve. She wore the colours of the team, red pants, white shirt and a red jacket. She had a Washington Nationals cap on her head and was holding two additional ones in her hands.

She gave them to him and Steve. "Here, I wasn't sure if you had the right clothing."

"Did you already have them?" Sam asked.

"No" She laughed a little. "I just got them. Thanks for inviting me, Sam."

He smiled at her. "Thanks for the cap."

Sam walked to the entrance and he and Natasha followed him. She stopped him to grab the baseball cap out of his hand and put it on his head. He completely forgot about the hat. She kissed him on the cheek and then walked over to Sam. He was still surprised by her sudden gestures of affection. He figured she wasn't as used to it as he was. His mother always kissed and hugged him. Did she even remember her mother?

They got good seats with a great view over the whole field and Sam made sure that Natasha was stitting next to Steve. It wasn't very subtle and he knew that Natasha knew what Sam did but she didn't seem to mind and he decided to call it a win.

"Okay, boys. I have a confession to make. I have no idea when it comes to baseball. I know a home run is a good thing and that's it." Natasha said and then spotted a guy who sold snacks. "Uh, but I know about this." She waved the guy over and they bought hot dogs and beer.

"You don't know baseball?" Sam asked her while devouring his hot dog.

"I know it's hard to believe but baseball is not that big of a deal in Russia." She replied coolly and licked sauce of her lip. Was it normal that he thought that was super hot?

"Yeah but don't you live in the States for some time now?" Sam was still staring at her like she annouced the earth was flat.

"So?"

Sam just shook his head and continued to eat his hotdog.

He saw his chance and explained the game to her. And he only had to lean so close to her because it was really loud and he had to make sure that she heard him, nothing more.

"If you told me that game was over three hours long, I wouldn't have come." Natasha whispered into his ear and he did his best to hide the shiver he felt running down his spine.

"Don't let Sam hear you!" He grinned and Natasha smirked back.

They wanted to get burgers after the game but Natasha was needed back at the Triskelion. He asked if he should come as well but she shook her head. She thanked Sam again for inviting her and drove off in her corvette.

"I still can't believe she didn't know the rules. Who lives in America and doesn't know how to play baseball?!" Sam murmured on his way to the diner.

He wasn't really listening to Sam. Why did they only ordered Nat to come to SHIELD? They were partners, he should be there as well. He knew Natasha would kick his ass if she heard him say it but he felt better when he was with her and could look out for her. He didn't know why but he had a bad feeling.

* * *

He tried to find out where Natasha was the next day but neither Sitwell nor Hill gave him answers. He knew she wasn't at the Triskelion but her car was parked in the garage and her baseball cap was on the passengers seat. She must have left DC yesterday right after the game, she could have been anywhere in the world right now. He tried calling her cell but only the voicemail answered. Natasha didn't take her phone with her on missions, it was probably in her office or car.

Another day passed and he was called into Director Fury's office, he didn't know why but he hoped Fury would tell him where Natasha was. Fury was standing with his back to Steve and looking out the window. He had a really nice view over DC from here. Fury turned around when Steve stopped in front of his desk.

"Morning, Rogers." He motioned for him to sit down.

"Sir."

"Want some?" Fury pushed a box of donuts over his desk. "Doc says I can't have them anymore but if I survive being trapped under a mountain, I can eat these."

"No, thank you."

Fury shrugged. "More for me then."

"You wanted to talk to me, sir?" He hoped Fury would cut to the chase and tell him where Natasha went. But he had a feeling that Fury wouldn't tell him that on his own.

"I've heard about an incident that occured on Monday." Fury leaned back into his chair and looked quite amused.

Incident? What kind of incident? He didn't follow until he realized what he meant. He was talking about him pushing Rumlow against a wall after he said those ugly things to Natasha.

"I'm not going to apologize" He crossed his arms. Rumlow could be glad he didn't throw him through the wall. He would have certaintly deserved it. He had some nerve to talk about women like that and than he said those things to an agent that outranked him. Where was his respect for the chain of command?

Fury laughed. "I don't expect or want you to. Rumlow's got a nice desk where he can do lots of paperwork for the next month. I have zero tolerance for sexist bullshit."

"How do you even know about that?" He really doubted that Rumlow reported the incident.

Fury laughed again. "I have eyes everywhere." Right, there were cameras everywhere at SHIELD.

"Where is Romanoff by the way?" He asked him and hoped he sounded nonchalant.

Fury raised his eyebrow lightly. "On a mission. Coulson's team needed her."

"And am I allowed to know where she- they currently are?"

"If you're needed as back-up, you'll be the first to know." Fury got up from his seat to probably signal him that the conversation was over. "Have a nice day, Rogers."

"Yeah, you too, sir."

Great he didn't know where Natasha was or what her mission was but at least he knew that she wasn't alone.

* * *

Two days later while he was grocery shopping he got a call from SHIELD that he was needed at the Triskelion. He left the full shopping card right where he was and sprinted to his bike to get to the Triskelion as fast as he could.

Agent Hill was waiting for him when he arrived at the garage. "You can go straight to the quinjet. Everything you need to know is on this tablet."

He wanted to ask her what this was all about, was Natasha in danger? But he didn't got the chance because she left right after she talked to him. He took the elevator down to the underground airport and was greeted by Agent Koenig who led him to the quinjet. The pilot was already waiting for him and she started the plane as soon as he was on it. He immediately went for the tablet to read over the file. Yes, the mission was about Natasha. Coulson's team was going after the guys who had Rockwell's serum and apparently Rockwell didn't destroy everything. He still didn't understand why Coulson needed Natasha. She only spoke briefly to Rockwell before his death. What kind of information could she provide? He got his answer when he opened the next document- another graduate of the Red Room worked with the men that had leftovers of the serum. Her name was Yelena Belova and called her herself the rightful Black Widow. Coulson needed Natasha because he assumed she knew how Belova worked. Steve was called in because they had to assume that they had to engage with enhanced individuals and Coulson only had May,Ward, Morse and Natasha as experienced fighters on the team. But at least Natasha wasn't in danger according to the last status report from three hours ago. They would wait for Steve to go after Belova and the rest. He hoped Nat was doing okay, he couldn't imagine how it was for her to be confronted by her past. Where was he even going? He glanced over the files for Natasha's name and didn't look where the quinjet was headed. There it was, he was going to Buenos Aires. Didn't they call it the Paris of South America?

He slept the majority of the flight and was surprised when the quinjet landed on the helicarrier, Agent Coulson was on deck and waiting for him. They shook hands and Coulson led him into a room where the rest of his team was waiting. Natasha wasn't with them. She was on the ground tracking Belova as Coulson told him after he asked him where she was. He was shown his quarters, a small room with a cot and a small bathroom where he changed into his uniform and clinked his shield on his back.

They were already in a quinjet and waiting for Natasha's signal and then planned to storm the location where Belova and the others were. Agent Simmons reminded them that she needed a sample of the serum for her studies. Was SHIELD working on that serum? He didn't know if he was on board with that. Natasha sent her signal and they landed near a mansion outside Buenos Aires. They entered the house from two sides, he was with May while Coulson, Ward and Morse entered through the other side. As soon as they got through the front door he and May were attacked by a group of men and some of them seemed to have taken the serum. He wondered if they knew that they signed their death sentence with it. May was an excellent fighter and together they managed to take out their opponents. Natasha told them over her comm that she was going after Belova. He could hear fragments of her conversation with the other Black Widow, Natasha was trying to get her to surrender and start over. Belova didn't seem to be interested.

Coulson, Morse and Ward appeared to have problems and he and May made their way through the mansion to get to them. It looked like all of their attackers were enhanced, Steve threw his shield at the one that was choking Coulson and the man fell dead to the ground. He was fighting against two men when he was hit with something in the head. It was done with so much force that he started to see stars. Holy shit, so this was what it's like when you get hit with super strength? Maybe he should apologize to the next person he knocked out. He turned around and clocked his attacker with his shield. He wouldn't apologize to this guy, he had it coming.

He heard a crash and multiple shots from upstairs and when he was sure that Coulson and his team had everything under control he ran into the direction the noises were coming from. He prayed to God that Natasha wasn't hurt. He realized that the hit he got to his head was worse than he thought, he was dizzy and couldn't really control his movements. Why was he wearing this helmet if it didn't protect his head?! He heard another screaming match and he was sure that one of the voices belonged to Natasha. He stumbled through the hallway, jesus this house was huge, and a woman ran out of a room a couple of feet away from him. She was blonde and definitely not Natasha because she pointed a gun at him. Due to the hit to his head his movements were slower and he wasn't sure if he would get his shield from his back fast enough to deflect the bullet. His hand went behind his shoulders and he could see how the woman was about to pull the trigger. Shit! He heard a gunshot but no bullet hit him instead Belova went to the ground, the wall beside her splattered with her blood.

Natasha appeared seconds later, a gun in her hand. "Are you okay, Steve?"

"Yeah, thanks. You just saved my life."

"Don't mention it." She put her gun back in her thigh holster and looked down at Belova's dead body. She seemed sad and then kneeled down to close the woman's eyes. She whispered something in Russian he didn't understand.

"Natasha?" He walked over to her. "Are you okay?"

She opened her mouth to say something but Coulson spoke through his comm and asked Natasha about Belova. "She's dead" was all she said and then she walked downstairs.

A SHIELD team had already arrived and was cleaning up the bodies and arresting people. They didn't find any information but took blood from those who got injected with the serum. He really needed to have a talk with Fury about this.

They were back on the helicarrier and May mentioned his head injury and Coulson told him to go to the infirmary to let it get checked out. He really wanted to talk to Natasha about what she had to do in order to protect him but she was nowhere to be seen. Simmons told him he had an aneurysm but his serum was already healing it. He didn't need surgery but should rest for the next few days. He went to his quarters to take a quick shower and then he would go look for Natasha. She looked like she needed a friend.

* * *

He had some problems to fit into the tiny shower and couldn't really move but he somehow managed to wash the sweat and dirt off of him and slipped into SHIELD sweatpants and a hoodie. He stepped out of the small bathroom and wanted to go find Natasha when he spotted her on his cot. Her hair was wet and she was wearing a sweater that was too big for her and yogapants. She looked so young in that moment.

She smiled at him shyly. "Um, I didn't want to be alone right now. I'm sorry that I broke in."

"Don't worry about it. I was just about to look for you."

"You were?" She sounded so surprised that it broke his heart a little bit.

"Of course." He didn't know if it was okay to sit next to her. The cot wasn't really big and he didn't want to overstep any boundaries. He promised himself that he let Natasha set the pace of their hopefully soon relationship.

Natasha moved to lay on the cot and he was about to sit on the ground next to her when she pressed her back against the wall to make room on the bed. Did she want him to lay next to her? He looked at her and her cheeks turned slightly pink and she patted the free space. He tried to contain his happiness and walked over to her and joined her. They were side to side facing each other. They were so close that he could feel her breath on his face.

"I wanted to give her the same chance Clint gave me all those years ago." She didn't look him in the eyes. "She didn't ask for what happened to her. I thought she wanted out like I did but Yelena just laughed at me and then started shooting."

"None of this is your fault, Nat."

She began to play with the ribbons of his hoodie. "I know but I can't help but think that I should have helped her. I begged Clint to kill me when he came for me."

His eyes widened in surprise. He read in her file about her encounter with Clint when she turned herself in and that wasn't mentioned.

She gave him a sad laugh. "It never made it into our files. I was just tired when Clint got to me. I wanted it to end. I escaped the Red Room and was on my own for a few months before SHIELD. I was so lost and desperate that I thought about going back to the KGB but then Clint showed up and I knew he was here to kill me and I was just relieved. I didn't fight him, I threw my weapons away and waited for him to pull the trigger. But he didn't and I begged him to kill me. He said he wouldn't but he could help me find my way. SHIELD could help my find my way. I could use my skills to do good. I joined him and never looked back until today."

She finally looked at him and her eyes were glistening. "Yelena was me ten years ago. We are the same and yet I took an offer that I didn't deserve. I guess only one of us was honest enough to face her true fate."

He grabbed her hands that were still playing with his hoodie and wrapped his hand around it. Her hands were so small compared to his. "You deserved that chance, Natasha. You did so much good in the last years. You helped so many people and they'll never know about it. You are a good person, you do good everyday."

"I'm a monster. I should have died that day."

"Don't ever say that." His voice got louder than he intended and Natasha seemed startled. "Sorry", he brushed the pad of his thumb over her hand."You are not a monster. A monster wouldn't have dropped everything to save her best friend from a crazy god with a greezy hair. A monster wouldn't have helped a kid from Brooklyn find his place in this new world. A monster wouldn't have run into a burning warehouse to save a cat and her kittens."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "I didn't think anyone noticed that. I guess it's kind of embarrassing."

"No, it's not. It was kind. You are kind. What happened to the cats anyway?"

"They all have homes now. I called the animal shelter to check on them." She blushed and it was the sweetest thing he ever saw.

"Of course you did." He smiled at her.

"You know, I kind of had a cat as a kid. It was a stray and it was running around the property of the facility where we were trained and I used to snuck food out to feed the cat. She was black, skinny and scrubby and I named her Liho." She smiled sadly. "She was my first and only friend. She rubbed her head against my legs and purred when I scratched her belly. But then I got caught by a guard and he put a gun to my head and forced me to kill Liho. It was me or her." She paused and a tear rolled down her cheek. "I strangled her with my bare hands while the guard pressed the gun against my temple. I couldn't sleep for weeks after that. I killed an innocent soul to save my life. Tell me again that I am not a monster."

He was so heartbroken for her and so furious for her. How could anyone do something like this to a child? He wanted to rip this guard with his bare hands apart. "I am so sorry that this happened to you. But Natasha, you are not a monster. You never were and you never will be. You just have to believe me on this."

She looked like she wanted to argue but then decided against it. "Can I stay here? Take a nap maybe?"

"Of course." He nodded and wondered if she wanted him to leave the cot. She turned around and was now with her back to him and he wanted to get up to let her get rest but she reached behind her and grabbed his arm and pulled it over her. "Just hold me, please." She tugged on his arm and he got the hint and spooned her. Natasha nestled against him and interwined their hands together. He buried his face in her hair and she smelled like the SHIELD issued soap and like Natasha. She tensed for a moment but then relaxed. "Thank you, Steve." She whispered and soon her breath was even and he knew she fell asleep.

* * *

Let me know what you think!:)


	14. Chapter 14

_You know what Steve's shirt is made of? Boyfriend material_

* * *

Chapter 14

She met May and Hill for drinks after a long day of paper work. This was the one side of her job that she couldn't stand. She had to write reports and check the reports of others. She spent the whole day in her office and was in desperate need of a drink. She hadn't been going for drinks after work with Melinda and Maria for some time now. She was actually looking forward to it. Steve wasn't in town and she wanted to use the time to work on herself. She wanted to be more normal for him. Going for drinks with co-workers was something normal women did, right? After she slept in Steve's arm and never felt so much at peace before, she couldn't quiet the voice in her anymore that yelled at her to get together with Steve. A better person would let him go so he could find someone worthy of his affection but she was too selfish for that. She wanted him, she wanted the full dating experience with him. She thought telling him about Liho would push him away but he just hold her and let her sleep. She was working on building up her courage to ask him out, she still wasn't sure if he felt the same way. What if he was just nice to her because it was in his nature and not because he had romantic feelings for her? She was thinking about asking May and Hill about their dating experience but she wasn't sure if that was a good idea- they never talked about stuff like that before. She didn't plan on giving out Steve's name but she knew that May would connect the dots and she couldn't have that. So she dropped the idea and talked with them about missions and politics.

Steve sent her a text that he was in London to celebrate the American-British friendship and that he found a book store that he would love to show her someday. He knew how much she loved books and her heart fluttered by the fact that he thought about her. That meant he was into her right? God, she felt like a goddamn teenager having her first crush. She knew how to read people but she couldn't tell if Steve's attraction to her was more than just physical. She loved him and she wanted him to love her back, no matter how wrong that was.

* * *

She didn't know how it happened or when but she caught the flu. She didn't think she was ever sick before not that she could remember. She had a water-down version of Steve's serum running through her veins that gave her a high pain tolerance and made her faster and more agil than the average person but she still wasn't anywhere near Steve's level of enhancement. Yet she was sure that she couldn't catch something as dumb as a fucking flu. She never called in sick for work but she had to, her fever was way too high for her to be driving somewhere.

She didn't want to call Sitwell and Coulson wasn't her handler anymore. So she dialed Hill's number.

"Hill?" She picked up after the second ring.

"Romanoff here. I can't come to work for a few days." She coughed out.

"I thought you couldn't get sick."

"Apparently I can." She just wanted to sleep for a week.

"Do you need anything? Do you have a doctor?" Maybe her fever was causing her hallucinations but Hill actually sounded worried.

"I just need sleep."

"Okay, get well soon."

Natasha hang up and pulled the blankets over her head again. A few hours later the annoying ringing woke her up. She answered without checking who called.

"What?" She groaned into her phone. She was feeling way too hot and kicked her blanket off but she was too weak and she was still covered.

"It's me, Steve."

Wasn't he still in London? Why was he calling, she wanted to sleep!

"I just got back and Hill told me you were sick. I thought you just wanted a day off but you don't sound so good."

"No shit, Sherlock." She creaked out and he chuckled.

"Do you need anything? I can get you medicine from the infirmary. Do you have a fever?"

"I..." She didn't want anyone to fuss over her. No, that wasn't true. She wanted Steve to fuss over her. "Yes, I have a fever."

"Okay, I'll get you something for it. I can be at your place in an hour." She could hear hesitation in his voice. Why? Right, he didn't have her adress. No one did.

"Natasha, I know you're very private but could you tell me where you live?"

She was weighing her options. If she couldn't trust Steve, she couldn't trust anyone and she should trust him. If she wanted Steve to be her boyfriend one day, he should know where she lived. She coughed her adress out and Steve promised to be there soon.

She wanted to go back to sleep but she remembered that she had to hide the drawings and gifts Cooper and Lila made for her. Clint's family wasn't her secret to share. She got out of bed and every muscle in her body hurt. God, having the flu sucked! She collected everything and hid it in her safe. The innocent drawings were a strong contrast to the guns and money she hid there. She didn't have the strength to walk back to her bed and just plopped down on the couch. No one besides Clint was ever in this apartment and if she wasn't so sick she would have probably been excited that Steve would come over. God, the guy she was in love with was coming over and she looked like a mess. Her hair was tangled and her face was red and sweaty. She wore a huge SHIELD sweater, some old sweatpants and some fuzzy socks Laura taught her how to knit. The girls in the romcoms she watched always looked cute when their dream guy dropped by. She didn't look desirable at all.

She brushed her hair with her fingers and put it as a messy bun on her head. The bath was to far away (why did she buy such a big apartment) for her weak legs and so she washed her face in the kitchen sink. She found a chapstick in one of her purses in the hallway and applied it to her lips. The doorbell rang. Did it honestly take her a fucking hour for hiding the drawings and making her look as decent as currently possible? She hated being sick!

She stumbled to the door and Steve smiled brightly at her. Ugh, why did he have to look so good in his jeans and leather jacket? He was caring two shopping bags, what was going on?

"Hey, Nat." He walked into her apartment when she moved to the side to let him in.

"Hi" Good, her throat hurt so much. She was trained to withstand torture but this flu gave her the rest. Thank god she already had a will and everything she owned would go to the Bartons.

"I got you medicine from SHIELD and went to the supermarket. I got everything I could think of that you could need." He gave her his stupid dopey smile again.

"Thanks." She said hoarsly and walked back to the couch. She pointed in the direction of the kitchen. "Just leave the bags in the kitchen and I'll deal with it later."

Steve looked like she just said something dumb. "I'm not going anywhere. I bought everything I need to make you my ma's chicken soup. It helped me countless times and I'm sure it will make you feel better."

He wanted to stay? He shouldn't but she wanted him to stay. "Okay, thank you."

"It's not like I can catch what you have." He winked and walked to her kitchen. He came back a few minutes later and gave her pills and some syrup.

"You have to take the pills every three hours and the syrup every five." He explained and she nodded. He touched her forehead with his hand. "Oh, Nat you're burning up." His hand was warm but against her hot skin it still felt cool and she couldn't stop the moan that left her mouth. Steve blushed and she almost wanted to giggle but she wasn't the type for that.

"Um, I'll go make the soup." He got up and disappeared into her kitchen. She could hear him opening cupboards and drawers but she soon fell asleep.

Steve woke her up with the pills and a glass of water in his hands. She took it and thanked him. He didn't leave her after he made the soup but stayed with her. She hid her grin behind the glass.

"Do you want some soup?" He took the glass from her when she was finished and placed it on her coffee table next to a bottle of water. She didn't put that there, he did.

"Yes, please." She wasn't really hungry but she knew she needed to eat. And Steve made her soup! Jesus, he was turning her into a fifteen year old girl.

"Okay." He got up and came back with a spoon, bowl and bread. She couldn't smell good because of her stuffed nose but what what she could smell, smelled delicious. She sat up on the couch and placed a pillow on her lap. Steve placed the bowl there and gave her the spoon.

"Thank you, Steve. That's very sweet of you." She smiled and tasted it. "Mm, it's really good! Don't you wanna eat some?"

"Can you even taste anything with your flu?" He laughed and sat down on her armchair. "Nah, I'm good."

It took some time until she finished her soup and Steve stayed by her side the whole time and told her about his trip to London. "That reminds me, I have something for you." He got up and walked to the kitchen and came back with something wrapped in fancy paper. "Here" He took her empty bowl and gave her the gift.

"You didn't have to bring me anything, Steve!"

"I know but when I saw it, I had to get it for you."

She got curious and unwrapped her gift. It was a book. Her breath got caught, Steve got her a first edition of Murder on the Orient Express. She opened it and it was even signed by Agatha Christie. That couldn't have been cheap.

"Steve, I can't accept this!"

"Of course you can." He smiled sheepishly and her heart was hammering against her rip cage. She hoped he couldn't hear it with his enhanced hearing.

"Thank you so much." She smiled back and started to have problems to keep her eyes open. Steve took the book out of her hands and pulled a blanket over her.

"Get some sleep, doll."

"Okay." She mumbled and then she was gone.

* * *

She vaguely remembered that Steve woke her up for her syrup and then later for her pills. This time she woke up because she needed to pee. She wasn't on the couch anymore but was in her bed. She didn't remember going to bed. The blinds were half closed and she could see that it was dark outside. She looked at the clock, it was 1:04 am. Did she say goodbye to Steve and thanked him again before he left?

She felt a bit better and went to the bathroom. She was washing her hands when she heard a knock on the bathroom door. She went to get her gun hidden under the sink but left it there when she heard Steve's voice. "You okay, Nat? Do you need anything?"

He was still here? She opened the door and Steve greeted her with a smile. He touched her forehead again. "You feel less hot but let's check to be sure." He suddenly pressed a therometer gently into her ear and checked her temperature. She didn't own one, he must have bought one for her. God, he was so perfect.

He checked the display and looked satisfied. "Your temperature is sinking." He took her hands and led her back to the bed. "Can I get you anything?"

She shook her head and crawled back under the blankets. "Thank you for staying here."

"You don't have to thank me. There's no place I'd rather be." He kissed her forehead and left her bedroom. She never got a forehead kiss before, it was very nice.

Steve came back later to give her her medicine and kissed her forehead again before he left the room. She could really get used to this. Having someone taking care of her. _Having Steve taking care of her_.

She woke up around 8 the next morning and she felt like her fever was gone. She was still weak and sore but she felt like the worse was over. She walked out of her bedroom and heard her front door close. Did Steve just leave? Without saying goodbye? She was sad but he already did more than enough for her. She walked to the living room from which she could see the hallway and Steve was still here. He placed her keys back into her bowl on the dresser and had a shopping bag shouldered.

"Morning." He greeted her with a smile when he saw her. "I borrowed your keys. I hope that was okay. You didn't have much for breakfast. I got you oatmeal. It's easier to eat when you got a sore throat."

He spent the day looking over her and then got her more food. She was overflowing with her love for him. "Thank you, Steve."

"Sit down, I'll make you breakfast. How are you feeling?" He pulled a Vogue and a few other magazines out of his bag. "I didn't know if you read these but I thought I should get you something light to read."

She already had the newest issue of Vogue but he didn't need to know that. "Thanks. You're so sweet to me." Steve blushed and left her alone with her magazines.

She was just reading an article about microblading your eyebrows when Steve came back into the living room with a tablet with a bowl, orange juice and flowers on it. He placed the tablet on her lap and then went back to get his own breakfast. The oatmeal was really good, he put nuts, fruits and cinnamon in it.

They ate in silence and she couldn't help but lick her spoon. "A girl could get used to all this pampering." She teased and he blushed.

"Well, maybe I want you to get used to it." He said back and now it was her turn to blush. Was he flirting with her?

"I have to get back to SHIELD soon."Steve informed her and it made her sad. She gotten so used to his presence in her apartment.

"I wanted to ask you something." Steve played with his spoon and seemed nervous.

"Shoot."

"Um, Sam has this thing next week in New York. It's this event for Veterans with dinner and cocktails and everything. And he asked me if I wanted to come. And I hoped you would come as well."

She wanted to go but not as his friend. If he turned her down, she could blame it on her flu and play his rejection down. Apparently she was silent for too long because Steve told her that she should just forget it.

"I'll go with you." She said and his whole face lit up. "But under one condition."

"Shoot."

"I want to go as your date." There she said it. She prepared herself for his rejection because she still couldn't believe he might feel the same.

He beamed at that and she was hopeful. "I would love that. I didn't have the guts to ask you officially out." He admitted and now she smiled at him.

"So it's a date, Rogers."

"Yeah, it is."

* * *

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	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Steve visited her after work and spent time with her. He read to her and carried her to her bed when she got sleepy. She really enjoyed how he took care of her and when he had to go on a rescue mission for SHIELD, she missed him terribly. Her apartment felt empty and too quiet. She felt better each day and started to get ready for their date.

Maybe it was good that Steve wasn't here because she started to freak out. She never been on an actual date before, she went on dates for missions but she played a role everytime. This time she would go as herself. She was tempted to slip into one of her personas but she couldn't do that to him. She spent hours in her closet that used to be a guest room and now stored all of her clothing and shoes. She didn't know how many dresses she ruled out but she was running out of options. She plopped on her couch with her macbook and opened Net-a-porter, she needed to find the perfect dress. She checked online what kind of event it was they were going to and it wasn't too fancy but it still called for a nice dresscode.

She wanted to look good, especially since she looked like shit in the last days and she wanted to knock Steve off his feet. She scrolled through Net-a-porter for hours and ordered a few dresses. She hoped they would arrive before they left for New York. They would stay at Tony's Tower and he thankfully would be in Tokyo. She was okay with Sam knowing that she and Steve would go on a date but she didn't want Tony to know. He would make stupid jokes and make Steve uncomfortable. She didn't want to hurt Tony but she would if he upset Steve. She never felt this protective over anyone before. She knew she would do anything to keep him safe. She killed twice in the last few weeks to save Steve, first the ambassador in Mexico and then Yelena, and she knew that she would have no problem to spill more blood to keep him safe and sound.

She went to her bathroom and took a long and hot bath. She needed to go through a thorough beauty routine, the flu did not make her look better. Her skin was dry and grey and her hair lost its shine. She was for hours in the bathroom and when she looked in the mirror again, she was satisfied. She looked like her old self again, no one could tell that she was really sick for days.

When she checked her phone, she saw that Steve texted her. Ever since he left for Algeria he sent her texts to show her that he thought of her. She was glad that she lived alone because she smiled everytime like an idiot when she read his texts. He texted her that he was needed there longer and that they would meet in New York. And that he couldn't wait to see her again. Yeah, she knew how he felt. She missed his presence so much, it was ridiculous.

The dresses arrived two days later and she skyped with Laura so she could help her pick the right one. She didn't want to overdress but she wanted to make sure that Steve would only have eyes for her. With Laura's help she chose a Gucci dress that was black and off shoulder. It had cut outs on each side on her waist and made her look sexy but also elegant. She would pair it with black strappy heels and a silver clutch. Her hair in big waves and her lips in red and she would look hopefully great enough for Steve.

She was tempted to wear lace lingerie underneath her dress but she realized that she didn't want to sleep with Steve. Wait, that wasn't true. She really wanted to sleep with him but not yet. Normally the fact that he was a virgin would have been a no-go for her but the thought that Steve had never been with a woman before just excited her. She would hopefully be the first one to get her hands on him and a possessive voice in her head told her that she wanted to be the only one who would ever get her hands on him. But his first time should be special and there were so many steps they could take before they had actual sex. She didn't put the sexy lingerie in her suitcase but chose simple bras and panties.

* * *

Two days later shetook a cap to get to the airport. Steve was already at the Tower and Sam would fly in with his veteran friends. Tony offered Sam to stay at the Tower but he would stay at a hotel with his friends. Happy picked her up at the airport and drove her to the Tower.

JARVIS informed her that Steve wasn't currently at the tower but he would pick her up at 7 pm. She thanked JARVIS and went to her floor. A beautiful boquet of flowers was on the marble table in her hallway. She already had a suspicion who sent her the flowers and the card confirmed it.

 _I can't wait for our date_

 _Steve_

She checked her watch, she still had over three hours to get ready. She unpacked her dress and called the staff so they would iron it. She got into the giant bathroom completely made out of marble (Pepper had excellent taste) and began to get ready. She showered, scrubbed her body and washed her hair. She painted her nails in a deep red and applied a lot of lotion to make her skin smoth and glowy. She put her make-up on with precision, red lips and cat eyes and rolled her hair on curlers. She let it grow since New York and it now brushed her shoulder blades. Her dress was back when she walked into her living room and hanging on a clothes rail. She slipped into her underwear and then in her dress. Despite being incredibly flexible, she had some problems zipping up her dress. It was a bit of a fight but she finally got the dress zipped. She pulled the curlers out of her hair and shook some volume into it. She slipped into her high heels and looked into the mirror. Yeah, she looked really good if she could say so herself.

* * *

At 7 pm on the dot there was a knock on her front door. She checked her reflection one last time in the mirror and walked over to open the door. God, she didn't think she'd ever been this nervous in her life before.

She opened the door and Steve smiled brightly at her. She returned his smile and suddenly felt at ease. Steve was wearing a dark grey suit and no tie. He looked very handsome and a part of her wanted to grab him by his collar and drag him into her bedroom to have her wicked ways with him.

"Hi, you look incredible." Steve smiled again and gave her a new bouquet of flowers.

"Thank you. You look very dapper yourself." She stepped aside to let him in. "I'm gonna put these in water and then we can leave." She rushed into the kitchen, looked for a vase and filled it with water. She dropped the flowers into it and returned with them into the livingroom where Steve was waiting for her. She put the flowers on her coffee table and smiled at him. "You ready to go?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I have to admit I'm really excited."

"Me too"

He helped her into her coat and he already had a cab waiting for them that would take them to the hotel where the dinner would be. She appreachiated the fact that Steve didn't ask Happy to drive them. JARVIS was discreet but Happy wasn't, he would immediately tell Tony that they looked like they were going on a date.

The hotel was really nice and Steve insisted on paying for the cab. He opened the door for her and gave her his hand to help her get out of the car. She should have probably let go of his hand but didn't and walked with his hand in hers into the hotel. Steve didn't seem to mind since he smiled at their interwined hands. They were escorted to a ball room that was filled with round tables and even had a dance floor and a live band. Did Steve know how to dance? She loved dancing and maybe they could dance a few rounds. Sam was already there and standing at a table and talking to a few people. He waved when he saw them and Steve loosend his hold of her hand but she didn't let go of it. He gave her a questioning look and when she queezed his hand he smiled and tightend his hold again.

They joined Sam's friends and the look on their faces told her that Sam already told them that they would be joined by two Avengers. They were curious but not noisy about their work and soon lost their interests. She was aware that a date like that wasn't really romantic but she thought it was better for her. This was still all new to her and she knew she would freak out if they had a candle light dinner under the stars or whatever people did on dates. Going out with Steve was already against everything the Red Room told her and she knew she needed time to ease into the idea of a relationship with Steve. She just hoped that Steve wasn't too disappointed that their first date wasn't very romantic.

People held speeches and thanked Captain America for coming. Steve blushed and was clearly uncomfortable with the attention but thankfully they left him alone and they could enjoy each others company. Sam's friends were nice and their table was the loudest with laughter. The food was good and the band amazing. She learned that the woman sitting next to Sam was Tess and they had been dating for a few weeks, they made a cute pair and Sam was obviously really into Tess.

Natasha excused herself after the main course to use the ladies room. On her way back to Steve she ran into the guy from the skydiving place. What was his name again? Will? Bill? Didn't matter, she wasn't interested in talking to him. She wanted to ask Steve if he liked to dance with her.

"Natalie!" Billy, she remembered his name now, smiled at her. She could tell from his body language that he was still interested in her." What a nice surprise! You never called me!" He managed to look sad and she knew that it was just show. He wasn't used to rejection which unfortunately made men like him even more interested.

She feigned a smile. "I lost your card." _In the trash._ She didn't want to be too rude and cause a scene but he really needed to get out of her way. The only soldier she was into was Steve. If Steve wasn't in the picture, she might have let Russo take her home but those days were over.

"And now we run into each other. Almost like fate." Billy smirked and Natasha could barely contain her eye roll. Please, he just wanted to fuck her. Nothing more.

"Well, if we're fated than we'll run into each other again one day. Have a nice evening." She said and left him standing there.

A guy near Billy started laughing. "Shut up, Curtis." He hissed and the guy laughed even louder.

Steve was smirking at her when she sat down next to him. Right, enhanced hearing. "That was not very nice, Natasha."

"What you want me to go back there and spend the evening with that douchebag?"

He put his arm on the top her chair and she could feel how he hold it in place to trap her. " You're stuck with me. Besides I hate to break the guy's nose." He grinned but she could see a hint of jealousy in his eyes. That alpha male behaviour would usually annoy her but she liked that Steve only wanted her to himself. She didn't want to share him either.

She leaned closer to him. "Do you want to dance?"

He looked at her sheepishly. "I don't know how. I never danced before."

She could teach him but not here. She didn't want anyone to make fun of him and teaching him to dance seemed intimate,something that should stay between the two of them. "I'll show you how when we're back in DC."

He smiled and nodded. "You can dance with Sam though if you want to. But please not with Russo!"

She laughed. "I think I rather spend time here at this table with my date." She winked at him and he started to brush his fingertips over her naked shoulder. It was only a light touch but it set her body on fire.

They decided to skip dessert and wanted to go for ice cream. They said goodbye to Sam and his friends and Sam looked very pleased when she took Steve's hand after he helped her into her coat.

They found an ice cream shop near Central Park and took a walk through the park after they got their order. She looped her arm around his and leaned into his side.

"I think this is my favourite part of the evening." Steve whispered.

"Mine too." She smiled up to him. Despite wearing four inch high heels, he was still much taller than her. There was an empty bench near a fountain and they sat down next to each other and finished their ice cream. She remembered that they were in a similiar situation in Arizona a month ago but this time was different. She didn't want to fight her feelings anymore. Steve seemed happy and that was all she wanted for him.

She leaned her head on his shoulder and he interwined their hands. "Natasha?"

"Mm?"

"I have to ask you something." The sound of his voice made it sound like it was something serious. She looked up to him and nodded for him to continue.

"Were you and Clint ever involved? I don't want to complicate things between the Avengers." He looked actually really worried about that. God, he was so thoughtful.

She knew that people at SHIELD assumed that she and Clint were together or used to hook up before they started to gossip about her and Steve. She never cared about that and let people talk. Who would get the idea that Clint had a wife and two kids when everyone thought he was banging her?

"No." She shook her head. "It's not like that between us. It never was and never will be."

Steve looked relieved and squeezed her hand. "Good. It would have made things awkward otherwise because I'm not interested in letting you go."

"That's fine by me." She admitted. "Steve?"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me" She asked and ordered at the same time and he beamed at her. God, his smile made her weak in the knees. Thank god they were sitting down.

He leaned his head down and pressed his lips against hers. She smiled and deepend the kiss. She didn't know how long they kissed but it felt like an eternity and yet it wasn't long enough. They parted when they were both out of breath. He rubbed her hands between his larger ones. "We should go back. Your hands are cold and you just recovered from a flu."

She nodded and let him pull her up from the bench. "Thank you for taking care of me when I was sick, Steve."

He brushed her hair behind her right ear and kissed her again. "You don't have to thank me."

It wasn't too far from Central Park to the Tower and so they walked hand in hand to it. There was a secret entrance to avoid running into the fans that we're waiting to meet Stark at the main entrance and they managed to get inside without anyone noticing.

Steve walked her to her floor. "JARIVS, activate privacy protocols please."

"Yes, Agent Romanoff."

Steve raised an eyebrow at her but she just pulled his head down and kissed him. He grinned and wrapped his arms around her waist. His tongue pushed against her lip and she let him in. She noticed that he got more confident the more they kissed. _Everyone needs pratice,_ she thought to herself and let him explore her mouth. He was turning into an amazing kisser and desire built up in her core. She wondered how he would be in bed after she showed him how it was done but she wouldn't find that out tonight. She pulled away from him and he immediately followed her movement. She grinned and gave his lips a short peck. His lips were swollen and wet and the blue of his eyes was almost gone. Good to know that she wasn't the only one who was turned on. But they needed to stop.

"Good night, Steve. " She whispered. "I had a wonderful evening."

"Me too. I can't wait to repeat it." He rasped out.

"The date or the kissing?" She smirked and he blushed.

"Both." He admitted and gave her a short but sweet kiss.

"Yeah, me too."

"G'night, Nat." He kissed her forehead and she watched him leave until he disappeared behind the elevator doors.

She leaned against her door and smiled to herself. Not that she had any real comparison but she thought that it went very well for a first date.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

They were on their way to Norway. They took a regular flight to Oslo and Natasha was sleeping with her head on his shoulder. Since their first date in New York, they had four more dates in DC.

They went bowling, took a tour with his bike driving along the Potomac River and Natasha drove his bike on their way back to DC, had dinner at that rooftop restaurant he found online and cooked at her place and watched movies. The movies were soon forgotton and they made out on her couch like teenagers. He liked to take things further but Natasha made no indication that she wanted the same and so he settled with furiously making out which was really nice ,more than nice to be honest, don't get him wrong.

The pilot annouched that they would arrive soon and Natasha began to stir and woke up. "Did I fall asleep?"

He gave her knee a gently squeeze. "It's fine. You looked really cute drooling on my shoulder."

She looked at his jacket that had no drool on it. He liked to tease her from time to time too. "I did not, you liar!" She smacked his arm.

They left the airport to get to their rental car, they still had to drive over two hours to the safehouse. Fury sent them to Norway to investigate a white supremacy Norse God cult that appeared to plan terror attacks. Unfortunately Thor was in Asgard and couldn't come with them. He liked to see Thor hit some Nazis with his hammer, he didn't think Thor would be happy with people spreading hate in the name of his family.

According to Natasha being Russian made her the better driver for snowy streets and she raced them in what had to be a new record to the safehouse. Lewis Hamilton could be glad that Nat wasn't interested in becoming a Formula 1 driver.

Natasha had a blonde wig in her suitcase and would go to a meeting of the "Norse purity" to collect intel. Apparently she spoke fluent Norwegian and he wondered how many languages she could speak. It was already evening when they arrived and Steve heated two cans of soup for him and Natasha. After dinner, Natasha checked her gear and Steve went over the files again. The safehouse had two bedrooms and they agreed that during missions they would keep it professional, not that they ever slept in a bed before. Natasha gave him a short goodnight kiss and then went into her room.

When he was alone in his bed, he could swear that the cold crept under his blankets. He knew that it wasn't possible since the windows were closed and he had thermo blankets but still he felt so cold. He dreamt about crashing a quinjet into the ice and Natasha's cries over the comm to stay with her.

Someone shook his shoulder and he woke up. Natasha's worried face looked down on him. "Steve, are you okay?"

He sat up and realized that he was shaking. "Nightmare." He rasped out. God, he though that he worked through his plane crash but apparently he didn't. Was he afraid that it would happen again and he would lose Natasha?

"Scoot over." Natasha crawled under the blankets when he made room for her. She laid down on her back and patted on her chest and when he didn't move she gave him a pointed look. "Are you gonna make a girl beg?"

He complied and rested his head on her chest. She immediatey pulled him into her arms and brushed her hand through his hair. How did she know that this was exactly what he needed? He wrapped his arm around her waist and closed his eyes.

"Do you want to talk about your dream?" She whispered softly and he shook his head."Okay, then go back to sleep. I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you, Nat."

"There's no need to thank me." She kissed the top of his head and the beating of her heart lulled him to sleep.

* * *

The next morning he woke up around 5 am and Natasha was behind him and spooned him. Her arm was wrapped around his torso and her face buried between his shoulder blades. He could feel her breath through his shirt. He tried to leave the bed without waking her up but he had no success. She tightend her hold of him and kissed his neck.

"Had a good sleep?" She mumbled against his skin.

"Yeah" He really slept well after Natashs slipped into bed with him and hold him. He didn't think the Norwegian cold would have such an impact on him.

"Me too." She kissed his neck again and rolled onto her back. He turned around so he could face her and she smiled sleepily at him. "No more nightmares?"

He shook his head. "No, thank you for staying with me."

"Of course." She moved on her side and cupped his face with her hand to kiss him. "Do you now want to talk about what you dreamt?"

He sighed and brushed her hair out of her face. "I crashed a plane into the ice in my dream."

She started to stroke his cheek with the pad of her thumb. "Do you dream about that plane crash a lot?"

"It wasn't the Valkyrie I crashed into the ice in my dream. It was a quinjet and you told me over the comm to not leave you." He confessed and felt embarrassed somehow.

"That won't happen. You'll never lose 70 years of your life again, okay?" She rested her forehead against his. "Not on my watch."

"Okay." He closed his eyes and enjoyed her presence and the comfort and warmth she gave him. They seemed to have fallen asleep again because the next time they checked the clock it was 7:43 am. He usually didn't sleep that long. Natasha stretched and exposed her defined stomach to his eyes. He looked away, he was already embarrassed enough because of his morning wood but Natasha pretended not to notice it even though he knew she must have felt it when they were wrapped around each other. She kissed his cheek and got out of bed to check the kitchen for breakfast.

* * *

After breakfast Natasha went into town to attend the meeting of the "Norse purity" that would be in the hardware store of one of the members. He was close by in hiding if she needed him. He couldn't hear everything that was said during the meeting but he could hear in Natasha's voice that she wasn't very impressed. A normal person wouldn't have heard it in her voice but after a year of working together he could tell by the way she spoke if she deemed a situation dangerous.

An hour later she met him in a cafe and he made sure before he walked in that the beanie on his head covered all his hair so he wouldn't be recognized. It took him a minute to spot Natasha because he was looking for red hair and not blonde.

"How was work, honey?" She greeted him with a heavy Norgewian accent in case someone was listening.

"Good." He replied in his usual accent because he tried a few and it only made Nat laugh. "How was your day?"

"Boring. Not a lot happened. Not enough fire." She used a code to tell him that she didn't find any weapons at the hardware store which SHIELD thought was the command center.

"Maybe tonight will be more exciting?" This was his way of asking her if she wanted to check out the store when it was dark and she nodded. "Okay, let's order something."

After lunch they walked around town acting like a normal couple while checking out the places where the members lived. Back at their safehouse Natasha told him that most members were racist fanatics but seemed more like the type who talked a lot of shit but didn't let action follow their words. But it was still better to see if they had any weapons or bombs to cause terror attacks. Natasha left bugs at the hardware store but nothing suspicious was recorded. They could hear that the owner closed his shop and went home. They changed into their uniforms and protected by the darkness they broke into the store. Natasha checked the office while he went through a storage room. He didn't find anything that didn't belonged into a hardware store and continued his search in the basement. He heard Natasha's footstep following him down the stairs. He turned around and accidently blended her with his flashlight. "Sorry"

She held blueprints in her hands. "These are about the government buildings in Oslo. If they're planning something, it's happening there."

He nodded and opened the door to the basement. More storage rooms but then they found another office. Natasha walked over to the desk and looked over some papers. "They're trying to build a bomb, Steve." She pointed at the boxes of nails on the chair in front of the desk. "They're making nail bombs."

"With a hardware store they're directly at the source." He moved closer to look at the papers. "No one gets suspicious if a hardware store orders a ton of nails."

Natasha nodded and pulled a mini camera out of her unity belt of her catsuit and started to take pictures. "I'm sending these to SHIELD and the Norwegian feds when we're at the safehouse."

They found the other utensils that were needed for the bombs and it didn't look like they got very far yet. Natasha hid a bug in the basement office and they left without anyone seeing them.

Back at the safehouse she immediately connected the camera to her laptop and send the data to SHIELD. Steve took a shower while she worked at the computer and when he came back she informed him that their work was done here and they would take a flight back to DC tomorrow around noon.

"That was fast." He said while rubbing his hair with his towel.

"Yeah, good for us that these idiots are not criminal masterminds. As soon as they're finished with the bombs, they are gonna get arrested and with the bugs at the store there will be enough confessions without them even noticing." She looked pleased and shut her laptop. "Hill got us first class tickets as a reward."

"That's nice. I'll make dinner while you take a shower?" She nodded and left for the bathroom and he heated up some frozen pizza.

The pizza was okay but the company was amazing. Natasha somehow found a bottle of red wine and they enjoyed it while sitting on the couch.

"You want to sleep alone tonight?" She asked him after she took a sip from her glass.

"I don't want to bother you." He didn't want to be alone because he was sure that he would have a nightmare otherwise but he didn't want to burden Natasha and he didn't want her to share a bed with him out of pity.

"You're not bothering me." She put her glass on the table and scooted closer to him. "You know, I was worried that this climate would trigger some unpleasant memories. You haven't really been in any artic places since we found you."

"Yeah well, I think I prefer missions in a warmer climate. After they got me out of the ice, I could still feel the cold for weeks. I thought it would never go away but it did eventually. But last night it came back."

She took his hand into her smaller ones. "I'm sorry you had to go through this. But you're not alone any more. If you want me in your bed just say so."

He blushed at her words that could mean more than one thing and she scoffed. "That's not what I meant, Rogers. Get your mind out of the gutter."

"So you don't want to sleep with me?" He blurted out. "Is it because I'm a virgin?" He had been thinking about that since their heavy make out session on her couch. She stopped when he unconsciously stared to grind his hips against her and she got off the couch and called it a night.

"What?" She looked puzzled. "Of course I want to have sex with you, Steve!" She sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "It has nothing to do with you being a virgin. I don't care about that. I just don't want us to rush things. All of my previous -well I wouldn't call it relationships- flings were just physical and I don't want that to be the foundation of this." She pointed between them. "This is so much more than just sex. But there are a few things that we can do before we have actual sex." She bit her lip and he gulped.

"Like what?"

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough but not here in a safehouse. Back in the DC. I promise." She pulled him up from the couch. "And now let's get some sleep. We have to leave early to catch our flight."

They got ready for bed and both walked into Steve's room after that. This night they fell asleep with Natasha's head on his chest and his arms wrapped around her. God, he was so lucky that he found Natasha in this world. He didn't tell her earlier but he stopped feeling the cold after he started working with her. He would tell her someday that she was the reason he was still standing and didn't lose his mind after waking up. He owed her so much.

He made sure that she was already asleep because he didn't think she was ready to hear these words yet. "I love you, Natasha."

* * *

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	17. Chapter 17

_Chapter 16 was uploaded yesterday in case you missed it_

* * *

Chapter 17

Natasha was sitting on the porch of the Barton farm and watching Clint and Cooper play soccer . Tomorrow was Cooper's tenth birthday and she arrived yesterday to celebrate it with him and his family. She told Steve that Clint needed back up for his undercover operation when he asked her why she couldn't go to a concert with him. She didn't like to lie to Steve but no one could know about Laura and the kids. Fury backed her lie up ( Laura had Fury wrapped around her finger, he even gave Natasha a gift for Coop) and there was no way that Steve could find the truth out.

Laura stepped out on the patio and handed her a margarita and sat down next to her. "Now that Lila is finally asleep, we can have a nice chat."

Natasha sipped on her drink and rolled her eyes, she knew that Laura was waiting for the right moment to talk about Steve. Coop scored a goal and Clint was dramatically whinning. It felt like yesterday when Clint took her to this place and introduced her to Laura. Laura who took her immediately in and let her stay at her house even though they had an innocent child. She could never repay the debt she owed Laura and Clint.

Laura looked at her with innocent eyes. "How did your date with Steve go? I didn't tell Clint by the way if you were worried about that."

She already figured that Clint didn't know about it because he would have teased her to no end if he knew she was dating Steve. She was dating him,right? Going on dates meant they were dating, maybe she should ask Laura that.

She licked a bit of salt off the rim of her glass. Maybe she should drink tequila with Steve one day and he could lick the salt of her body. It really took all her willpower to not climb him like a tree. Laura looked at her expectantly. Right, she asked her a question. "Good. We've had a few more dates."

Laura smiled at her. "That's great! I'm so happy for you. You deserve a win and from what Clint told me he sounds like a nice guy."

"He is." She stared at the sunset that turned the sky into a beautiful pink. Laura suddenly grabbed her hand that rested on her knee and gave it a squeeze.

"What's going on in your head,Natasha?" She turned her hand around to hold it. "Do you still have doubts?"

Natasha laughed an ugly laugh. "How can I not? In what world am I good enough for Captain America? He's so good to me and I'm too selfish to let him go to find someone better for him."

"Stop that!" Laura's voice was untypically stern. "Don't bring yourself down, Natasha. You turned your whole life around after everything that was done to you. It takes an extraordinary person for that!"

Natasha just scoffed. It wasn't the first time that Laura told her something like that. Laura let go of her hand and looked at her husband and son.

"You know Clint had similiar doubts when we got together. He didn't want me to bring into his world. Thought I deserved more than what he could offer. You know what I told him?" Laura turned to face her and smirked. " I told him to shut the fuck up. He never asked me about what I want. I only wanted to be with him. I didn't care about what he did or would do to keep people save. Natasha, you can't make decisions for Steve."

Natasha nodded. "I know. I like spending time with him,going on dates with him. But there is still a voice in my head that tells me I don't deserve to have this with him. He means so much to me, Laura. I want him to have everything he wants."

Laura grinned. "I think he wants you."

Natasha rolled her eyes and finished her margarita. Clint scored a goal at that moment and ran around Cooper with his fists in the air and sang "Eye of the Tiger".

"So." Laura tried to look nonchalant. "Did you guys have sex yet?"

She almost choked on her drink. Where did that come from? They never talked about sex before. And she was thankful for that, she really didn't need to know how Clint was in bed. She arched one eyebrow and Laura smiled sheepishly at her. " I can't be the only one who wants to know how Captain America is in bed?"

She rolled her eyes at Laura. "I expected more of you. We haven't had sex yet, if you must know."

Laura smiled into her margarita. "Wow, you really are in love with him if you haven't slept with him yet."

"I thought we already established that." She was annoyed.

"Did you tell him that you love him?"

She shook her head. "No and I'm not sure I can. It's way too soon for that and I never said those three words to anyone before."

She stood up to signal Laura that she didn't want to talk about it anymore and walked down the stairs to join Clint and Cooper.

* * *

Steve was bored. It was Saturday afternoon and he originally wanted to surprise Natasha with tickets to Coldplay but she told him that Clint needed her help in Chicago when he proudly showed her the tickets. When he asked her if they needed him as well, she said no and Fury later confirmed that he only wanted Nat to help Clint out.

He gave Sam the tickets so he could take Tess and Steve was now laying on his couch staring holes into his ceiling. He already went running, did food shopping and cleaned his apartment. SHIELD didn't need him for the weekend and he had only two friends and both of them didn't have time for him. He groaned and got up to get his sketch book and his charcoal pencils. All his drawing were of Natasha, would she find it creepy if she found out? He probably should have asked for her permission but he couldn't help himself. She was everything that was good and beautiful to him in this world- she was his only inspiration. He brought his pencil to the paper and started to sketch the way she looked after she beat him in bowling. He thanked his eidetic memory for not forgetting how pleased and happy she looked when she had a strike and turned around to him throwing her fists into the air.

It took some time until he was satisfied with his work and he ordered pizza and fired Netflix up. He hoped the weekend would be soon over and Nat would be soon back from her mission. They didn't had a date since Norway and if he was being honest he was really curious about the things she mentioned that they could do before they had actual sex. He wasn't a saint and he was really attracted to Natasha and he wanted to explore the physical expect for their relationship. He thought they were in a relationship and he really hoped she thought so too.

* * *

There were way too many children at the Barton's farm for her taste but Cooper was happy with his guests and his gifts and that was the only thing that mattered. The theme for the party was pirates and dragons (she didn't see the connection between the two but what did she know) and the kids were dressed as pirates or dragons. She wore an eyepatch to fit in but besides that she wore normal clothes, she already had to dress up for her job enough.

"You stole that eye patch from Fury?" Clint asked her when he walked into the kitchen carrying two trays. She retrieved one hour ago to the kitchen to avoid the horde of children and was doing the dishes.

She laughed and dried her hands with a towel. "I think he would have shot me at point blank range. How are the monsters doing?"

"Screaming, running and eating." He shrugged. "So I guess it's a success. I'm so glad Coop's birthday is only once a year and Lila is too young for partys."

"Maybe you should have gotten a dog." She joked and Clint's eyes lit up. "Coop and I really want one but Laura says no." He pouted.

She shook her head at him and began to put the dishes back into the cupboard. Clint jumped on the kitchen counter next to her and plopped MMs into his mouth.

"Are you still looking for someone for Cap?"

"Why? You thinking about leaving Laura?" She pointed a knife playfully at him.

Clint scoffed. "I'm never leaving her. If she wants out, she has to leave me. I'm not going anywhere. No, I was thinking about proper candidates for Cap's heart and what about Maria?"

"Hill?" She should probably tell him that Steve asked her after their second date if she still wanted to set him up and she just smacked his arm and then kissed him and he laughed. But why was Clint talking about this now? She knew that Laura didn't tell him anything.

"Yeah. She's smart, a badass and pretty. I'm sure she has a heart under all that ice." He threw a handful of MMs into his mouth and chewed them rather loudly.

"I don't think she's his type." She replied automatically. She should probably tell her best friend that she was seeing Steve.

"Does Cap even have a type?"

She almost said yes and it looks like it's me. But she just gave him a half smirk and continued to put the dishes away. But of course after all those years of working together Clint knew how to read her.

"Tasha, is there something you wanna tell me?"

"Maybe."

He grabbed her shoulder to turn her to him. "Are you and Steve hooking up?"

"Hooking up? What are you? A fratboy?" She scoffed. "We started seeing each other."

Clint's eyes almost fell out of their sockets. "And you're only telling me this now! This should have been your first words when you arrived here! And how is it?"

She thought about their trip with his bike and their picknick at the Potomac river and how perfect that day was. "I'm not used to it but it's great."

Clint scooted closer to her. "And how is he? You know in bed?"

Why on earth did everyone ask her that? Was it a Barton thing? Thank god their kids were too young to ask such questions. "I don't know." She finally said.

Clint's eyes widened. "You didn't sleep with him yet? Hell, if I wasn't happily married and Cap showed interested in me, I don't think I would turn him down."

"I thought you were straight?"

Clint just shrugged. "But seriously you didn't jump his bones yet?"

"We just started going on dates yet. It's too soon."

"Wow, if I remember correctly you ripped Murdock's clothes off right after he told you he found you very attractive and I had to turn my comm off to not traumatize me for the rest of my life."

She rolled her eyes. "That was different. Steve's different."

Clint gave her a smile. "Wow, I didn't think you were already in love with Steve." He nudged her with his elbow and then jumped of the kitchen counter. "That's great. Steve is a lucky guy." He left the kitchen to go back to Cooper's party.

Why did everyone make such a big deal out of the fact that she hadn't sleep with Steve yet. She wanted their first time, and his first time!, to mean something. She knew that they wouldn't just have sex but that it would mean more than that.

She pulled her phone out of the back pocket of her jeans and opened her conversation with Steve.

 _I'll be be back on Tuesday:)_

His answer came almost immediately.

 _Yay! Everything good?_

 _Yup, mission runs smoothly._ She hated lying to Steve.

 _Good! I worry when I don't know if you're okay._

 _You ready for you first dance lesson?:)_

 _Ha, as ready as I can be._

 _I'll drop by your place on Tuesday around 8 pm._

 _Can't wait! Be safe, Nat!_

She smiled at their exchange and put her phone back into her pocket. She sighed and walked back to the party. She couldn't aovid the kids the entire day, that wasn't fair to Cooper.


	18. Chapter 18 (rated M)

**_The last part of this chapter is rated M!_**

Chapter 18

Natasha landed on Tuesday noon in DC and drove to Fury's house to drop off the cookies Laura made for him and some drawings from Lila. Fury was at SHIELD but his housekeeper Mary was there and made her lunch after she told her that she hadn't eaten anything yet. She chatted a little bit with Mary and thanked her for lunch.

She didn't need to be at SHIELD until the next day and so she drove to the shopping mall to find new pieces for her wardrobe. She found a black a line skirt that was perfect for her dancing lesson with Steve tonight. She bought it and got a new leather jacket as well and drove back home after a stop at the grocery store. She wanted to make piroschki for Steve and didn't have all the ingredients at home. She spent the afternoon in her kitchen and then got ready for their date. She chose the skirt because she hoped it would twirl nicely when they danced. She couldn't even remember the last time she danced just for fun and not for a mission. She styled her new skirt with a white shirt that she tugged in and slipped into simple black pumps. She wasn't in the mood for something fancy, so she just put her hair into a ponytail. She grabbed her purse and the plate with the piroschki on and left her apartment. On her way down the staircase she run into her elderly neighbor Mrs. Mills who thought her name was Natalie and that she worked in IT.

"Natalie!" The older woman smiled at her. "You look very lovely! Going on a romantic date?"

Natasha thought about lying but why should she? Mrs. Mills was a 84 year old widow with no connections to agencies or governments (she checked everyone in the building before she bought her apartment.). "Yes, as a matter of fact I am."

"Wonderful! I hope he knows how lucky he is to have such great company like you!"

She wondered if she would say the same if she knew who she really was and that she was on her way to Captain America."I'm the one who's the lucky one, believe me."

Mrs. Mills snickered and walked to the door that led to her floor. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." She winked before she left the staircase. Natasha smiled to herself and shook her head. From what she knew Mrs. Mills was quite popular with the men before she met her late husband. She even claimed to have had an affair with Harrison Ford and for some reason Natasha believed her.

* * *

She met the nurse at the entrance of Steve's building and she could swear that Kate looked like she didn't want to run into Natasha. The expression left her face quickly and the nurse smiled at her. "Natasha, right?"

She just nodded and thanked her when Kate held the door for her open. Her hands were busy with the plate of piroschkis. Kate wished her a nice evening and then left. Something seemed off with Kate, she couldn't name it yet but her gut told her that Kate was hiding something. She needed to look into Kate's background to make sure Steve was safe.

She was still thinking about what could be wrong with Kate when she knocked on Steve's door. The door got opened and he gave her his boyish smile that she loved so much and all doubts about his neighbor were gone. He was the only thing on her mind now.

"Hi, Nat." He took the plate out of hands and let her in. "These are for us?"

"Yeah, they are piroschkis. I made them today. I hope you like them." She gave him a coy smile. Didn't she read somewhere that the best way to a man's heart was through his stomach.

"I'm sure I'll will." He yelled from his kitchen to put the food there and she hung her leather jacket and purse on his wardrobe. She walked into his living room and he already moved the coffee table to the side and placed a few records on the couch.

"I didn't know what you wanted to eat. We can eat your piroschkis or order something if you like. I bought wine but I don't know if it will fit to your food." He told her when he came to the living room. She walked over to him and grabbed him by the collar of his button down to kiss him. "Hi" She whispered against his lips and he smiled.

"I missed you." He pecked her lips again.

"I... I missed you, too." She admitted and he smiled at her like he knew that wasn't easy for her to say that.

She put a record on she thought was apprioate for dance music and held her hand out for him. "You ready for your first dance, Captain?"

"I hope I don't step on your feet. I'm sure I'm terrible at this." He took her hand and let her adjust his hands.

"Dancing is like fighting in a way, Steve. And we're both in sync on the battle field. We'll figure this one out too." She took the lead and showed him how to move. He did step on her feet a few times in the beginning but he got better the more they danced around his living room. Steve's stomach began to growl and they took a break to eat something.

"Mm, they're really good, Nat." He mumbled between bites and she smiled at him. She only made piroschkis for people who were important to her and she was happy that he liked them. He ate the majority of them and it really looked like he enjoyed that.

"I'm glad you like them."

"I love them!" He licked his fingers and grinned at her. "They were amazing!"

"Thanks." She took a sip from her wine glass. "You wanna lean how to twirl and dip me next?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

She was right, the skirt did twirl nicely while he spun her around. Just like with fighting they found their rhythm and danced as one. She had so much fun dancing with Steve and by the look by of his face he looked pretty happy too.

"Okay and now dip me, Rogers." She said after he pulled her back against his chest.

"What if I let you drop?" He looked actually worried about that.

"I think I'll survive a fall from this height even if you let me fall but I highly doubt it. Now dip me!" She leaned to the side and Steve took the hint and dipped her. And would you look at that she didn't fall. She smirked at him and apparently he decided to kiss her smirk of her face. He was still dipping her and he had his arms wrapped around her back. Just the raining was missing and it would have been a kiss out of classic Hollywood movie. Thanks to his strength he had no problem to move one arm under her legs and he picked her up and carried her to his couch. They didn't stop kissing and they ended up laying on his sofa with Steve on top of her. He pressed her down into the couch and she had nowhere to go (she knew that he would get immediately off if her if she told him so) and that usually would freak her out but not with Steve. She liked being trapped under his body, he was so warm and he felt so safe. She slung her leg around his waist and he moved his hand to caress her skin there while exploring her mouth with his tongue. She looped her arms around his neck to pull him closer to her until their chests were touching. His hand disappeared under the hem of her skirt and she couldn't hold back the moan that left her mouth.

Steve pulled his hand back. "Sorry." His hair was messy from her roaming hands, his cheeks flushed and his pupils dilated. She couldn't believe she was the reason for Captain America being so turned on.

She grabbed his hand and pushed it back under her skirt. "Don't be sorry. I liked it. Keep going if you want to."

"Yeah?" He gave her his boyish grin and brushed his fingers over her thigh.

"Yeah." She breathed out because he moved his fingertips to the inside of her thigh and looked at her for reassurance. She nodded and he caressed her skin there. She cupped his face and kissed him again. Steve's touches were shy at first but he grew confident and his hand moved slowly but surely up. Only a few inches more and he could feel how turned on she was. His knuckles brushed against her panties and they both moaned. She moaned because of how good it felt to be finally touched there again and he did because he could feel how damp her panties were.

"Natasha. Should we stop?" His hand was still between her legs but he stopped moving it.

"I don't want to stop. Do you want to stop?"

He shook his head and she smiled at him. She pulled him down again to give him a deep kiss. She sucked on his lower lip after biting it and his hand moved to stroke her over her panties.

"I'm flying blind here, Nat." He murmured against her lips. "Tell me what to do."

A part of her wanted to see how far she could push him with dirty talk but she figured that it would be too soon for that. She spread her legs as wide as their position on the couch allowed her to give him better access.

"This feels good so far, Steve. Keep touching me like that for a while." She kissed him again and moved her right hand down to his pants. She brushed her hand over his erection. Steve groaned and she started to palm him over his jeans. "This okay?"

Steve bit his lip and nodded. "Feels amazing." He continued to rub her over her underwear while she did the same to his hard on. She grew wetter and wetter by the second and she wondered how far they would take it tonight. She really wanted his fingers inside her but she wasn't sure if that was too much for him. She knew he wanted her but was he really ready for that aspect of their relationship? Did they even have a relationship? Did people talk about that and decided they were in one or was that just an unspoken agreement between two people?

Steve interrupted her train of thoughts. "Do you want to leave this one?" He tugged on the waistband of her panties. She shook her head and so she helped him remove her skirt and panties. She didn't know how else to name it but Steve looked at her with awe and admiration like he couldn't believe what he saw. She pulled her shirt over her head and was now only laying in her bra in front of him. A simple nude bra, she should have worn sexier underwear. But Steve didn't seem to mind and leaned down on her again and kissed her. His fingers moved to play with her bra straps and she pushed him up and followed him to unclasp her bra and let the straps fall over her shoulders. She did a little show for him and they both knew that but it was the first time he saw a woman naked and he deserved to have it a little bit special. She let Steve remove her bra and he threw it somewhere in his living room. He looked at her with affection and wanton in his eyes and she felt so cherish in that moment. He looked at her like she was some sort of gift, like she was special. She unbotton his shirt, brushed it off his shoulders and he pulled his undershirt over his head so she kissed his chest. He pushed her down on the couch again and kissed her neck and started to suck on her pulse point. Her heart was racing and she was sure he could feel it. He settled between her legs again and started to explore her folds with her guidance. He didn't know what to do but he was a quick learner and listened to her and her body. She closed her eyes when he pushed a finger into her and when she opened them again he was looking at her with curiosity and heat.

"Good?" He asked her and began to thrust his finger and it felt so fucking amazing. She didn't know if it was because she hadn't had sex in months or because it was Steve but she was already so close.

"Yeah, keep going." She moaned out and he started to rub her clit. "You can add another finger."

He did and his fingers felt so good. She wondered how it would feel if it was his cock inside of her. He kept thrusting his fingers in and out of her and she crashed their lips together and she came almost embarrassingly fast when he pressed down on her clit. He almost looked surprised and she blushed.

"I thought it took women some time to reach their..." Now he was the one blushing. God, he was so cute. "Their orgasm."

"That's usually true. It's just been some time for me and you really good with your fingers. Must be the artist in you."

"So it was good?"

She laughed. "Yeah, it was really good for your first try." She pecked his lips. "Do you want me to do the same for you?"

"If you want. I'd like you to." He admitted and blushed again. She looked at the tent he was sporting in his jeans and that had to be painful.

"I want to, believe me." She smirked at him and he was a cross between excitement and nervousness. "What's wrong?"

"I don't think I'll last long." He whispered out and looked embarrassed.

"That's okay. Otherwise my hand and arm would get tired." She moved her hands to his belt and he caught her wrist." I'd like to kiss you some more." His gaze fell to her breasts and she almost laughed. Captain America was only a man after all. She knew she had pretty tits and was flattered that Steve seemd to be into them. She leaned down again on the couch and crossed her hands behind her head. "Have at it."

He crawled over her and started to kiss his way from her lips to her breasts. He left open-mouth kisses on her neck and colllarbone and fondled and kissed her tits with gentleness and curioristy. She probaly should have let him play with her breasts before she let him finger her. Did she do it wrong, introducing him to sex? The thought was gone the minute he closed his mouth around her nipple and she just enjoyed it. He spent a few more minutes with her cleavage and then moved his head up again and kissed her thoroughly.

"Ready?" She asked and when he nodded she told him to lay down on the couch and settled to sit between his legs, one of his leg had to hang of the couch to make room for her. She unbuckled his belt and he helped her slip of his jeans and boxer briefs off. Captain America wore blue boxer briefs from Calvin Klein if anyone was wondering. She slipped his underwear off and then took her place between his legs again. She finally got a good look at him and holy shit. Didn't those agents in the locker room wondered if _everything_ of him was enhanced? The answer was definitely yes, or maybe he always had a big cock, who knew.

"Wow!" She gasped out and looked him in the eyes.

Steve looked even more flustered if that was possible. "Yeah, I'm a little bit bigger than average."

"A little? With a cock like that you don't have to be modest." She grinned and he looked both embarrassed and proud.

"Happy with your purchase?" He quipped and grinned at her.

"Very!" She would be probably ruined for other men after he was inside her. She didn't think anyone could compete with that. He was big and thick and with some experience he might could make her come with only penetrative sex. But she was getting ahead of herself because no matter how horny she was, she wouldn't sleep with him tonight.

She scratched her nails gently from his knees up to his thighs and he seemed to like it. He moaned her name when she brushed her fingers over his length. She closed her hand around him and slowly moved it up and down. He grabbed the back of the couch with his hand and bit his lips. God, he looked perfect like this. She wrapped both hands around him and let him thrust into her hands. He was pulsing under them and by the looks and sounds of it he was already close. She started to squeeze him lightly and his moans turned into groans and when she brushed her thumb over his tip he came with a shout of her name.

He looked at her with glassy eyes and a dopey grin. "That was fucking incredible,Nat." He sat up and grabbed his undershirt from the floor and clean up his cum. How considerate of him, she had lovers before him who wanted her to lick it off which wasn't something she was really into.

He threw the shirt back on the floor. "Come here." He tugged her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face in the space between his neck and shoulder. She took a deep breath, he smelled so good.

"Do you want to stay here?" He mumbled and she could hear the hesitation in his voice. It wouldn't be the first time they shared a bed but it would be the first time after something sexual happened between them and she didn't stay overnight after sex. But this was Steve and she loved him and trusted him.

"Yeah. I do." She admitted. "I'll have to get up early tomorrow though to get to my place to change before work."

"That can be arranged." She could hear the joy in his voice and knew she made the right decision.

"You have a shirt for me that I can borrow?"

"Yup and a unused tooth brush you can use."

He kissed her and then got up to his bedroom to get her a shirt. And she enjoyed the view of his naked ass while he walked to his bed room. God bless America, indeed. He was quite the specimen with a heart made out of gold and an amazing character. They truly didn't make them like him anymore. She was one lucky girl.

He gave her a fresh shirt and she cleaned herself up in the bathroom and he joined her and they brushed their teeth, it felt almost domestic. She braided her hair and when she walked into the bedroom Steve already put a glass of water on each night stand and was opening his window and pulling the blinds down.

She crawled under his blankets and the bed smelled heavenly, exactly like Steve. He smiled at her warmly and joined her. She rested her head on his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat.

"That was really great. The dancing and... and the other stuff." Steve blurted out when she was already dozing off.

"The other stuff?" She laughed.

"You know what I mean." She didn't need to look at him to know that he was blushing.

She was too tired to tease him. "Yeah, I do. And it was really great. And believe me it only gets better from here." Okay, she did need to tease him a little bit.

She could hear him swallow and smirked into his chest. "Good night, Steve. Sweet dreams."

"Good night, Nat."

* * *

drop a comment:)


	19. Chapter 19 (rated M)

**THE LAST PART OF THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M!**

* * *

Chapter 19

The alarm went off at 5 am and he had to admit that a grumpy and sleepy Natasha was very cute. She hit her phone a few times until she turned the alarm off and then pulled the blankets over her head. It was adorable but she would probably kill him if he told her that.

"Nat!" He tried to pull the blanket away but she was surprisingly strong. "Nat, you wanted to drive home to change before work, remember?"

She made undefined noises and stayed under the blankets. He laughed and joined her under them. "Morning." He poked her into her side and she groaned.

"Five more minutes, Rogers." She mumbled and buried her face in his pillows. Since their activites last night on his couch he felt more confident in touching her and brushed his hand over her naked thighs. Her skin was so soft and smooth. He hoped she would let him touch and kiss every inch of her body one day. "If you get up, I'll make you pancakes."

She moved her head to the side to face him. "With chocolate syrup?"

He knew she couldn't resist her sweet tooth. "Yup, with chocolate syrup. I even have strawberries."

She looked like she was thinking about his offer. "Okay, I'll get up. But not before we've done something else." She had a mischief glint in her eyes.

He wanted to ask her what she was talking about but she already attacked his lips and pushed him into the mattress. She moved a hand between them and began to stroke his morning wood until he came. Her hands felt so much better than his own. He was already looking forward to explore more with her. He flipped her onto her back, pushed her (his) shirt up ( she honestly looked so much better in it than he ever could) and returned the favour. She looked so beautiful when she came. Was that a creepy thought? He didn't know and he was too embarrassed to ask.

She rearranged her shirt and he slipped into some boxer shorts and they walked into the kitchen. She sat down at the kitchen counter and watched him make pancakes. It felt so normal and domestic and he wondered how it would be if they lived together but he pushed that thought out of his mind, it was way too soon to think about that. He placed a plate with pancakes in front of her and she smiled softly at him. He noticed that she smiled at him a lot. She didn't smile when she wsd at SHIELD and she only smiled a few times at Clint. His chest fluttered when he thought about what that could mean. Was she in love with him too?

They finished their breakfast in a comfortating silence and she left soon after to change at her place but not before giving him a kiss that made him weak in the knees. He watched her walked down the hallway and when she reached the stairs ,she turned around and gave him one of her beautiful smiles again.

* * *

He met Sam for their morning run and Sam noticed his good mood but a gentleman never kisses and tells right? So he kept his mouth shut and let Sam eat his dust while he ran his laps.

He took a shower at home and drove to the Triskelion. He was so relieved that he was finally working with Natasha again and hoped that Fury wouldn't send her on solo missions again. He trusted Clint to have Nat's back but he felt better if he was close by to take a hit for her even if it made her mad. A mad Nat was so much better than a dead Nat.

He entered the elevator and ran into Rumlow who was done with his desk duty and led STRIKE again. He hoped for Rumlow that he changed and wouldn't say these degrading things about Nat again because he felt even more protective since they started dating. Rumlow murmured a greeting and nothing else and then practically stormed out of the elevator when it reached his floor. Steve could barely contain his smirk and waited for the elevator to take him to the floor his office was on so he could change into his uniform. He had to attend a few meetings with Hill and Sitwell.

He knew that he wouldn't see Natasha all morning because Coulson asked her to train his new agent in martial arts, her name was Johnson or something.

The meetings were nothing unusual and he was done with them on time for lunch. He walked to the cafeteria and stood in line for his food. He chose spaghetti and a cheesecake as dessert. For cantine food, it was pretty good. He checked the tables for Natasha but he didn't see her anywhere. He spotted Agents Morse and Simmons and sat down at their table.

They greeted him and talked with him about the idea to let a franchise run the cafeteria. He wasn't really a fan of the idea but Simmons hoped for a Pret a Manger. He saw a few shops when he was in London three weeks ago but he didn't go in one, so he had no idea if the food was good. Morse and Simmons were already hlag done with their food when he joined them and so they left him while he was still eating when they asked him if it was okay. He had no problem with that especially when he saw that Natasha just entered the cafeteria. She saw him and nodded and then went to get lunch.

She came with a pumpkin soup and a panna cotta on her tray to his table. "Hey, Rogers." She gave him her signature half-smirk and sat down opposite him.

"Hi, Nat." He smiled at her. "How was your morning?"

"Well I had a really good breakfast." She winked at him and he tried his best not to blush, he was probably unsuccessful." And then I spent the rest of the morning sweeping the floor with Agent Johnson. She's got potential but she's not really taking it serious yet."

"I'm sure with your guidance she'll get there." He finished his spaghetti and was thinking about getting another portion. It wasn't his fault he neeeded to eat more!

"The training today was a one time thing, Agent May is her S.O and she has the day off." She licked the soup of her spoon in a very interesting way that sent a shiver down his spine and by the look of her face she knew what effect she had on him.

After lunch he was needed in the labs for his regular checks and he didn't know where Natasha was going. He thought he heard how Sitwell mentioned that she had a meeting with Fury. Agent Simmons let him run on a treadmill while checking his heart rate and took a blood sample and he was free to leave. It didn't look like SHIELD needed him for the rest of the day and he left. He found a note on the seat of his Harley. _Meet me at my place at 7_. He recognized Nat's handwriting and smiled. Looked like they had another date.

* * *

He bought flowers on his way to Nat and ran her bell at exact 7 pm. On his way to her apartment he ran into an elderly woman who asked him if he was the beau who went out with Natalie. It took him a moment to realize that she meant Natasha, the woman didn't seem to recognize him but gave him wink and told him to say hi to Natalie.

He could hear Nat's footsteps on the other side of the door and a few moments later she opened the door and smiled at him. "Hi, Steve."

He leaned down to give her a short kiss and gave her the flowers. She thanked him and let him in. She wore jeans and a sweatshirt and her hair fell over shoulder in what he assumed were her natural curls. He would never tell her because she could look the way she wanted but he prefered this look on her. He followed her into her apartment and caught a sniff of something sweet.

"Mm, what's that?"

She looked over her shoulder. "I'm making banana bread. You ever had some?"

"Nope. But I'm sure I'll like it."

She gave him a smile and went to her kitchen to water the flowers. She came back with a vase and motioned for him to sit on the couch with her. She straddled his lap when he sat down and kissed him.

"What about your bread?" He murmured between kisses.

"I set the timer." She went back to exploring his mouth with her tongue. Not that he had a lot of comparison but she was an amazing kisser. He wanted to kiss her all day. He was getting hard and Natasha began to grind against him and it honestly felt so good. He was so lucky to experience this with a woman as amazing and fierce as Natasha.

A beeping sound came from the kitchen and she stopped moving her hips and stood up. He groaned at the loss of contact and she smirked.

"Later." She promised and licked her lips. She left to go to the kitchen and he followed her thinking about things to calm his erection. Fury in a tutu, the Hulk in a tutu...

She opened the oven door and a wonderful smell filled the kitchen. He couldn't wait to taste her banana bread. Natasha pulled it out of the oven and placed it on oven mints on her counter. "This needs to cool down before we can try it. But don't worry I got something else for dinner." She went to her fridge and pulled a big plastic box out.

He got a look at that. "Is that sushi?"

She nodded. "I know it's on your list but you're too afraid to try it because it's raw fish. I don't think you could even get food poisoning so there's no reason not to try it."

He eyed the food with suspicion. "But you could get sick."

She scoffed. "This is from the best sushi place in town and even if I do get sick, I'll just sue them and get filthy rich." She pushed the box into his arms and went to a drawer to get chopsticks. He walked to her living room and placed the food on her coffee table. He really would rather try her bread. Natasha came in with plates, chopsticks and soy sauce and a small bowl with something green in it.

"That's wasabi" She explained after she put everything on the table. "Be careful that stuff is really hot. Clint overestimated his spice tolerance and his head got as red as my hair."

She put a few sushis on a plate and handed it to him. "Just try it. If you don't like it, we can order pizza."

He took the chopsticks and grabbed one sushi and looked at it carefully. Natasha laughed. "It won't eat you,Rogers."

He put it in his mouth and began to chew. It tasted different than he thought it would and the texture wasn't as chewy as he expected. "It's not too bad."

Natasha nodded and dipped one into the soy sauce. "Try it with the sauce or with wasabi. But don't put too much on it." She warned him and he did as he was told. He thought the salmon and tuna would taste fishy but they tasted really nice. The wasabi was really spicy but he liked the taste.

"And?"

He swallowed his food down. "It's good. I like it."

Natasha smiled confidently. "I knew you would. Sushi is one of my favourite dishes. I'm glad you like it."

"I met one of your neighbours earlier. I think she was flirting with me"

Natasha laughed. "That was probably Mrs. Mills. Watch out, she's quite popular with the men."

"There's only one girl I'm interested in." He told her truthfully and he could detect the faintest blush of pink on her cheeks.

After they were done with dinner Natasha sat down on his lap again and they continued to make out. He was about to pull her shirt over her head when she stopped him. "Didn't you want to try my banana bread?" She asked him with an innocent smile and he had to groan. That bread was the last thing on his mind when he had Natasha on his lip and her body pressed against his.

She stood up. "Wait here. I'll bring you a piece." She disappeared into the kitchen and came back with two plates with bread on it. She plopped down next to him and handed him a plate and a fork.

He took a bite and it was really delicious but if he was being honest he would rather make out with her. "It's really good, Nat." He mumbled between bites and Natasha hummed her agreement.

"It's a recipe from a friend. I hope you'll meet her some day."

"I would love that."

They finished their food and Natasha promised him to pack him something to take home. She gave him a sly smile and sank to the floor between his legs.

"What are you doing?" He rasped out when she started to run her hands over his thighs.

"I'm gonna blow your mind, Rogers." She smirked up to him and her hands went to his belt. "I'll stop if you want me to." The smirk left her face and she looked serious.

Blow his mind? Was she going to... He couldn't even think it but he knew he wanted her to. "Yeah, if you want to."

"I only offer you things that I want too. Okay?" She said and he nodded. Her smirk returned but there was warmth in her eyes and she began to unbuckle his belt. He lifted his hips up and she removed his pants and briefs. The thought that she was going to pleasure him with her mouth went straight to his groin and he was already hardening.

She started to stroke him and smiled up to him. "Relax and enjoy the ride."

He wanted to say something but she kissed his tip and his mind went blank. Wow. He watched how he disappeared into her mouth and holy fucking hell. This felt incredible. His hand moved to her head but he wasn't sure if he should touch her and so he grabbed the edge of her couch, he hoped he wouldn't tear a hole in it. Her mouth was hot and warm and it almost felt like it when he had his fingers inside of her. She bobbed her head and licked her tongue around him and he couldn't control his moans that filled the living room. He really hoped that old lady didn't live next door and had a good hearing.

"Oh god, that feels so good, Nat." He gasped out and she hummed around him. The vibrations felt so good and when she started to stroke him and took him somehow even deeper into her mouth, he knew that he was about to come.

"Nat, I'm gonna...I'm so close. Fuck, you feel so good." He moaned and her movements got faster and she looked up to him through her lashes and the first wave of his orgasm hit him and she swallowed all of it until he came down from his high. No wonder men were so obsessed with blow jobs.

He looked down at her and she released his softening cock with a plop and reached behind her to get her glass of water from the coffee table. "What's your verdict?" She took a sip from the glass.

"Wow, just wow. That was fucking amazing. Thank you!" He babbled and she smiled sweetly at him and then stood up from the floor.

"First time I got a thank you for that. Someone raised you right." She sat down next to him and put her feet on the table. He noticed that her toe nails were red. And he realized that he was sitting naked from the waist down on her couch. For some reason he wasn't embarrassed by that not after what just happend.

"Can you show me how to do that to you?" He knew he was blushing. Damnit. "The girl version?"

"Are you sure you want to? Most guys are not really into it." She leaned back against the couch and looked at him.

"I want to try it if you let me." He unconsciously licked his lips and Natasha bit hers.

"Okay but let's go to the bedroom for that." She stoop up and took his hand to lead him to her bed.

She stripped out of her clothes until she was only in her panties and he pulled his shirt over his head. She sat down on the edge of the bed and told him to kneel between her legs. He cupped her beautiful face and kissed her. He placed kisses on her jaw, shoulder and neck and because he felt bold he sucked on her left breast over her nipple until he left a bruise. He knew she didn't want to have any lovebites that could be seen but he hoped he could get away with this one. She didn't seem to be mad because laughed and called him a caveman. He moved his head up from her breast to her face and kissed her with tongue and teeth. She smiled at him when he pulled away and leaned down on the bed, her legs hanging over the edge. She looked like a dream like this and he wondered if it was okay if he would draw her like this.

His hands moved to her panties. "Can I?" He hooked his thumbs under the waistband.

Natasha nodded and lifted her hips to help them slide them off of her. He starred at her swollen and glistening sex and got nervous. He really had no clue about any of this.

"Relax, Steve." She popped herself on her elbows and looked kindly at him.

"What if I'm awful at this?" He started to read sex tips after their make out session in Arizona just in case and apparrantly oral sex for women performed by men wasn't usually that great for women and he wanted to make Natasha feel good. He wanted her to feel the things he did when she pleasured him her mouth.

"I'm here with you. It won't be awful because it's us. We work so well together." She paused like she needed to find some courage. "We're the perfect fit."

"The perfect fit." He repeated and spread her legs with his hands. From what he read he needed to pay extra attention to her clitoris. He lowered his head and blew air against her sex and looked up to her and she laid down again and smiled at him. "Just explore me with your tongue. Lick over my folds."

He nodded and darted his tongue out against her labia. Natasha hummed and he continued his exploration of her most intimate part. He licked over her clit and she gave him a breathy moan. He did it again and her hand grabbed his hair and he figured that she liked what he was doing.

"This feels good. Don't stop. Suck on..." He knew what she meant and closed his mouth on her nub and sucked. Natasha's legs were suddenly on his shoulders and she pushed his face with her hand more into her.

"Oh god, that feels... Keep going." He sucked one more time hard and then moved his mouth a little bit lower because he really wanted to know what she tasted like. He licked over her entrance and now he was the one moaning. She tasted devine and like Natasha.

"Please." She groaned and her nails dugged into his head. He thrust his tongue into her and looked up to her and she arched her back and the hand not on his head was gripping her sheets. He licked at her walls to get more of her devine taste and her moans grew louder and breathy. She sounded like heaven.

"Can you..." He looked up at her again and she was biting her lips. "Can you rub your thumb against me?"

He didn't get what she meant that first but then he did and began to rub his thumb over her clit while he thrusted his tongue in and out of her. He did this a few times and she came with his name on her plump lips. He licked greedily all of her juices away until she pushed his head away.

"Too sensitive." She mumbled and patted on the space next to her. "Come up here."

He kissed her inner thigh and moved to lay next to her. "I like that a lot. I want to do it again if you want me to."

She turned her head to face him and smiled. "Yeah, I like that too. For the first time going down on a girl that was really good. Did you watch porn or something?"

He blushed and shook his head. "No, I did some reading." He admitted and she pressed her face into his neck and kissed him there.

"Of course you did." He could feel her smile against his skin. "It was really good. You can be proud of yourself."

* * *

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	20. Chapter 20 (rated M)

**THE FIRST PART OF THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M!**

* * *

Chapter 20

Natasha brushed her fingertips over Steve's chest. He just gave her an amazing orgasm for eating out a woman for the first time. With her guidance he would be incredible in bed and she hoped she would be the only one who knew that for a very long time. He was really talented with his tongue and was better than some of her ex lovers who acted like they were some sex gods. She had her face buried between his neck and shoulder and he smelled so good, like clean sweat, leather and something that was purely Steve. She kissed his neck and then moved her head to look at him. His lips were swollen and she knew that when she kissed him she could taste herself.

She let her eyes travel over his body and she stopped at his groin. He was already hard again and by the looks of it he was for some time now. She blew him only like half an hour ago and his cock was so red that he must have been hard for at least 15 minutes. Wow, was that a side effect of the serum?

She must have starring at his cock for some time because Steve spoke up. "Yeah, I have a shorter refractory period than most." He looked embarrassed and she tried her best to kiss his embarrassment away."Most men would kill for that, Steve."

She kissed him again and scooted up the bed to rest her head on her pillows. She could get him off with her hands or mouth again but she really wanted to have sex with him. But was this moment special enough for him? Was he even ready for that?

He moved up the bed to lay next to her and cupped her face to make her look at him. "Natasha?" He swallowed and looked nervous. "Will you sleep with me? I really want to have sex with you and I hope you want it to?" He blushed and was clearly nervous.

She moved her face closer to him and kissed him softly. "Yes. I want to have sex with you too." He smiled at that and nodded.

"Okay. Um, what should I do?"

"Kiss me some more." He did and she pulled him on top of her. She was still wet and with some fingering she would hopefully be ready for his cock. She spread her legs and he settled between them and his length brushed against her folds making them both moan.

"Steve?"

"Yeah?" He was kissing her neck and grinding his erection against her cunt and it felt so fucking amazing.

"Finger me."

One hand cupped her cheek and the other one travelled over her body between her legs. He could easily slip one finger into her and began to slowly thrust them in and out.

"Another one." She breathed into his mouth and he complied. She figured that he wouldn't last that long for his first time and she really wanted to come with him inside her and she didn't want to have any discomfort when he entered her. He was bigger than any sex partner she had before him.

"Another one." She ordered and he pulled his two fingers out and pressed three into her. She bit her lips and started to fuck herself on his fingers. Steve began to thrust his cock against her thigh.

After a few moments she spoke again. "Okay, I'm ready." She made sure that he looked at her. "Are you ready?"

"Yes" He nodded and pulled his fingers out of her and licked her wetness off of them. Holy fuck! She spread her legs wider for him and his cock was brushing against her cunt again.

"Do we...do you have a condom?" He whispered against her lips.

"Not necessary. I have an implant." That was a lie. "I can't get pregnant." That wasn't a lie but she really didn't want to talk about this now with him." And I'm clean and you can't even catch anything. But I have condoms if you want to use them."

"No. It feels better without them right?" He blushed and she smiled. God, he was so cute and thoughtful.

She reached a hand between their bodies to grab his cock softly. He jerked at the contact and she had to smile again. She stroked his length between her folds to lubricate him and rubbed his tip over her clit for both their pleasure.

"Ready?" She asked breathless and he only nodded at her.

She positioned his tip at her entrance and let go of him. "Slowly push in. I have to get used to your size."

He nodded and had a concentrated look on his face. He moved his hips and then slowly and gently pushed into her.

Wow, she had to close her eyes and bit her lip. He was really big and filled her completely but he felt so incredibly good. A part of her chided herself for sleeping with a supersoldier. No other man would ever be able to compete with this. She opened her eyes when he was halfway in her and realized that he was looking at her the whole time. He clearly struggled to keep his eyes open but he did it anyway to see her. She was so touched by that and moved her hand to his face to caress his cheek. He pushed into her until he bottomed out and they both moaned in unison. It felt so fucking amazing, she never wanted to leave this bed again.

"Wow." Steve gasped out and she nodded. She let him do some experimental thrusts into her that showed that he had no idea what he was doing but it still felt so good that she couldn't stop her moans.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and helped him find a rhythm that had them both moaning and panting in no time. He fitted so perfectly into her and rubbed every right spot.

"Oh Steve. Just like that!" She panted into his ear when he buried his face into her shoulder.

"Nat, I'm close! I can't hold it for long."

She kissed his temple and slipped a hand between them to rub on her clit. She circled and pinched it and could feel her orgasm approaching. She couldn't resist and slipped her hands further to touch where he was disappearing into her. Steve growled her name and she moved her hands up to her clit and rub on it harder. His thrusts grew harder and erratic and she knew he was moments away from coming. She pressed down hard on her clit and the first wave of white and hot pleasure hit her. As soon as her walls started to clench around him he followed her and spilled into her. He thrust lazily and without rhythm through their orgasms. He pressed her down with his weight into the mattress and she found out that she didn't mind. She kissed his temple when her orgasm faded away and he pulled his head up to look at her. He looked thoroughly fucked and pride was rushing through her veins. She was the reason for that. He kissed her a few times and then slipped out of her and rolled to lay on his side.

"Wow." He breathed out and pulled her against his chest. She usually didn't cuddle after sex but she realized that Steve was the exception to everything.

"Yeah?" She looked up at him and smirked.

"Yeah!" He gave her his dopey grin. "That was fucking amazing, doll!"

She was usually the kind who hated nicknames, especially outdated ones, but she really liked them coming for Steve. She really was in love with the dork!

"Was it good for you too?" He asked with uncertanity in his voice.

"Yes, you rocked my world." She told him and he looked proud. _Men!_

"So when do you think I'll get my medal from President Ellis?" She kissed him under his jaw.

"Huh?"

"I just deflowered Captain America. I feel like there should be a medal in it for me or something." She laughed and he pinched her ass.

"Unbelievable. You make love to a lady and she wants a reward." He huffed and her heart started racing. Make love? Did he love her too or was it just a saying to him? But he wouldn't have slept with her if he didn't have feelings for her right?

He tilded her chin up and kissed her and roamed his hands over her body. He nudged her thigh with his hips and she could feel his erection. Boy, that serum was incredible. They could have sex all night.

"You want me on top now?" She asked between kisses and he nodded. She moved to straddle his waist and sank down on him. She planted her hands on his chiseled chest and began to move on top of him. Steve looked at her with wanton and awe in his eyes and she took his hands and placed them on her tits. They smiled at each other and she rode him until they both came with each other's names on their lips. She couldn't hold herself up anymore and fell on his chest. Steve wrapped his strong arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "You're so amazing,Nat."

"You too." She mumbled into his neck and moved her hips to let him slip out of her. She settled into his chest and they both feel asleep satisfied and spent soon after.

* * *

She had to entangle herself from him in the middle of the night because she needed to use the bathroom. When she tiptoed back into her bedroom Steve was awake and looking at her fondly and smiled. "Hey, where did you go?"

"Bathroom" She crawled back under the covers and snuggled against Steve. Who knew she was secrectly a cuddler? He wrapped his arms around him and they both went back to sleep.

She forgot to close the blinds before they went to bed and the sun on her face woke her up. She was laying on her side and Steve was spooning her. He was already half-hard against her and she was thinking about introducing him to morning sex.

"Morning." Steve mumbled and began to kiss her shoulders.

She didn't notice that he was already awake. "Mm, morning." She turned in his arms to kiss him. His hands moved over her body to caress her skin and she pulled him over her and guided him into her. He now knew how to move and drove them both over the edge.

After some more kissing and cuddeling they got out of her bed and ate her banana bread for breakfast. She walked Steve to her door and kissed him goodbye.

"I'll see you at work, Nat." He cupped her cheek and she leaned into the touch. "Last night was amazing. And this morning." He was still blushing but he seemed more comfortable with sex now.

"If we don't get called on a mission, we can do it again tonight." She smirked and gave him a short kiss.

He swallowed and nodded. "I'd love that."

She watched him leave and then walked back to her living room. She stretched her limbs and was deliciously sore. Her phone chimed with a message from Steve.

 _I just ran into your neighbor again and she said she hoped that I made you scream with pleasure._

Natasha had to laugh. Poor Steve, Mrs. Mills had no filter.

 _What did you say?_

 _Nothing! I just got red as a tomato, wished her a nice day and ran away!_

 _Well, you did make me scream with pleasure._

 _NATASHA!_

 _I'll see you at work, Steve:)_

She threw her phone on the couch and went to her bathroom to take a shower.

* * *

Steve's bike was already in the parking lot when she arrived at the Triskelion but she didn't see him. She took the elevator to get to her office and Clint was already sitting in her chair at her desk.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hello to you too,Tasha!" Clint said and got up to hug her. "Hill needs me for a case I worked on years ago. Apparently the guy managed to break out of the Fridge."

"I thought that was impossible!" She hung her coat on her wardrobe at the door.

"Yeah, thought so too. But nothing's impossible at SHIELD." He shrugged. "Hill and I are flying to the Fridge this afternoon. She suspects Markonow had an inside man." He looked at her. "Or an inside woman."

She sat down at her desk and started her computer. "Am I correct in assuming that you'll annoy me until you leave for the Fridge?"

"You know me so well, Tasha." He placed his hand over his heart and sighed. He plopped down on her small couch and crossed his arms behind his head. "How are things with Rogers?"

Flashes of skin touching, kissing and thrusting went through her mind. God, Steve was already better in bed than she thought. "None of your business."

Just like on cue her door opened and Steve walked in. "Hey Nat, do you-" He saw Clint on her couch. "Hi Clint, didn't know you were back."

He shook his head. "I'm not. Hill needs my assistance on something and then I have to go back to Chicago."

She knew that Clint wanted to spend another month with his family before he would go back in the field. Clint smirked at Steve. "You wanted something from _Nat_?"

Steve looked at her. "It can wait." He smiled at her warmly and she returned it. "I'll see you around."

She nodded and watched him leave. She almost forgot that Clint was in her office. "Tasha, did you finally bang Cap?"

"What?" She thanked her training for giving her the ability to control her blushing.

Clint sat up and popped his head on his hands. "Has he been inside you?"

"What is this? An episode of Sex and the City?!" She rolled her eyes at him and pulled her keyboard out of her desk drawer. She needed to write an evaluation for Agent Johnson. Coulson wanted a report about everything.

"I would totally be Samantha if I wasn't taken." He quipped. " And you would be Miranda. You already have the right hair color."

She rolled her eyes again and opened Word. Clint moved from the couch to sit on the chair before her desk. "You didn't answer my question."

"And I'm not going to." She said and began typing. She wasn't going to talk about her sex life with anyone besides Steve since it now included him.

Clint smirked. "I'm taking that as a yes. He looked at you like every guy looks at a woman after he got some"

* * *

She had lunch with Steve and Clint with the latter observing and smirking at every of her interactions with Steve. He made some not so subtle comments about Steve before they went to the cafeteria and she was tempted to ask Clint if it was okay to tell Steve one day about his family. She pictured the looks on Cooper and Lila's faces if she showed up with Captain America. But asking Clint would show him how serious she was with Steve and that would lead to more teasing from Clint and she didn't need that.

"So Cap, how's Nat's search for the perfect girl for you going?" Clint asked between chewing his hamburger.

Steve looked with slight panic at her like he didn't know how to answer it. They never talked about if they wanted to keep this a secret between them. Technically it wasn't a secret because she told Clint that they were dating.

"He told me to stop looking." She answered for Steve and sipped on her iced tea.

"Really?" Clint raised his eyebrow in amusement.

Steve remained silent and clearly let her lead the conversation. Good boy.

"Don't act so surprised. I told you we are a couple." It left her mouth because she could stop herself. What the fuck was she doing? They didn't put a label on this between them and now she put them in a relationship without asking Steve and annouced it to a third party.

"We are?" Steve gave her a warm smile that made the butterflies in her stomach flutter.

"I think so?"

Clint snickered and grabbed his tray. "I'll let you two sort this out on your own." He looked at Steve with a stern expression. "If you hurt her, I have an arrow with your name on it." He walked away from their table and they both watched him.

"So we are a couple?" Steve asked her with what she thought was hope.

"I'm not seeing anyone besides you and you're not seeing anyone beside me, right?" She asked and he nodded. "And we're spending all of our free time together." She lowered her voice. "And we're having sex, I think that makes us a couple."

He smiled. "I think so too. So you're my girlfriend?"

"I guess I am." She laughed. "Happy with your purchase?"

"Very." He grinned. "I really want to kiss you right now."

She looked around and the cafeteria was full of agents. People who would gossip about them, about him. And on top of that she didn't really know about SHIELD's stand on fraternization. She never cared about that before because she had a rule to never sleep with a colleague. "Not here."

"I know and understand. But I'm glad Clint knows." He smiled and moved his hand under the table to squeeze her hand.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

It all happened so fast. The bullet hit her before he could throw his shield between her and the bullet. Natasha looked at her stomach and then at him and fell to the ground. He could hear Clint screaming over the comms that someone should tell him what was going on but he ignored him and ran to Natasha. She fought to keep her eyes open and her breathing was uneven. He pressed his hands over hers to keep pressure on the wound. "You're gonna be okay."

"Romanoff is down. We need an ambulance asap." Rumlow said through the comms and Hill said they were already on their way.

STRIKE was helping Barton and Hill to bring in Markonow who escaped the Fridge and they located him in Philadelphia were he joined his old "business partners". They stormed a mansion they suspected he was staying in and were surprised by the firepower they had.

Natasha was losing consciousness and the blood didn't stop flowing out of her. He was losing his mind, Rumlow was talking to him but he couldn't really hear him. Suddenly there were paramedics who pushed him out of the way. He wanted to accompany Natasha to the hospital but Hill ordered him to stay and let Barton go with Nat. Stupid chain of command!

He wanted to get the guy who did this to her but Rollins informed him that Clint already put an arrow through his chest and that he was dead. Good riddance!

* * *

A SHIELD SUV drove him to the hospital an hour later where he was told that Natasha was still in the OR. Hill said that Fury was on his way and would arrive shortly. He didn't think that the Director would show up for every of his injured agents. But he would come for Natasha.

Steve ran to the waiting room where Clint was pacing around and talking to someone on the phone.

"I don't know. I'll call you as soon as I have more information. They won't tell me anything yet. I know,honey. She's one tough cookie. " Clint looked up and nodded at Steve. "I'll call you later. Bye."

"Who was that?"

"Girlfriend." Clint replied and sat down on a chair in the lounge. He didn't know that Clint was seeing someone.

He sat down next to Clint and looked at his hands. He still had Nat's dried blood on them. He hadn't felt this bad since Bucky died. What if Natasha followed him? She was the only thing that made sense in this world. He couldn't lose her! "How bad is it?"

Clint sighed. "The docs aren't talking to me. Say they can only give information to relatives. I'm her family for fuck's sake!" He yelled. "I'm the only family she got!"

He unclicked his shield from his back and placed it on the chair next to him. "Fury's on his way. They'll talk to him."

Clint nodded and pinched the bridge of his noise. "How did this happen? Tasha never gets shot."

Steve thought about the scar on her hip and the story she told him about it. Clint must have thought about it too because he spoke again. "She only got shot once before. In Odessa but then never again. I swear it's like she can dance between bullets. We were surrounded in Budapest and they were firing at us and she just moved between the bullets like it was no big deal. She didn't even get a scratch." Clint suddenly looked at him with sympathy in his eyes. "Are you okay, buddy?"

"I'm scared, Clint. What if she doesn't make it?" It felt like a cold hand wrapped around his heart when he thought about losing her.

"Tasha is way too stuborn to die. And way too proud to die by a bullet to the gut. She'll pull through. Believe me." Clint looked at Steve's bloody hands. "You should wash that blood off or they won't let you see her."

He didn't want to leave but he knew that Clint was right. He went to the bathroom and scrubbed her blood of his hands. He looked into the mirror and the man looking back was a ghost. He was pale and had dark circles under his eyes. He allowed himself to cry for a moment and then splashed cold water into his face. He hadn't cried since Bucky fell. God, he wished Bucky was here. He would wait with him for news on Nat and try to cheer him up by complaining why she didn't go for him. He wished so badly that Nat could meet Bucky. And his ma. Maybe she'd meet them soon because... No, don't go there. Clint said Natasha was too stubborn to die.

He ran back to the waiting lounge and Fury was finally here and talking to a doctor with Clint standing next to him. The doctor walked back through the doors and Fury turned around.

"Rogers." He nodded at him. Fury wasn't wearing his signature leather coat but a normal leather jacket.

"How is she?"

"She just got out of the OR. Her liver got hit but they managed to repair the damage. She'll be out for a few hours and is on bed rest for the next four weeks." Fury said and Steve felt the weight of the entire world lift of his shoulders. She was okay, she wouldn't die.

Fury clapped his shoulder. "I'll have to talk to Hill about Romanoff's transport back to DC. She definitely doesn't want to stay here." He looked at Clint. "Try to convince her." With that Fury left the waiting lounge.

"Convince her?" Steve was confused.

Clint looked for some reason torn. "I know a place where she can rest and heal."

"What kind of place? Shouldn't she stay in DC? Or at Tony's tower? I can take care of her!" He would take the next four weeks off and look after her. He was her boyfriend, that was his job!

"I know you would." Clint smiled. "But that place is..." He hesitated. "It's like home to her."

What the hell was he talking about? She never mentioned such a place before and they had been dating for two months! "I don't think I'm following!"

Clint sighed and sat down on a chair. "I wasn't talking to my girlfriend earlier. I lied."

Steve took a seat next to him. What the fuck was going on?

"I was talking to my wife." Clint confessed and Steve could only stare at him. Clint was married? What? When? Who did he marry?

"Didn't see that coming, did you?" He chuckled. "Only Fury and Tasha know. And now you. I'm not undercover in Chicago. I'm at my farm in Delaware with my wife and kids."

"You have children?" Steve was perplexed. He'd never in a million years would have suspected that.

"Yeah. A boy and a girl and they adore their auntie." Clint grabbed his arm. "No one can know about them, okay?"

He nodded. "Your secret is safe with me. And Fury wants Natasha to stay at your house?"

"He thinks she can get the best rest there. And Natasha listens to my wife." Clint laughed. "No one objects to Laura. Not even Fury."

Clint had a wife and kids, holy cow. "What are your children's names? If you don't mind me asking."

"Cooper and Lila." He smiled. "They're great kids. Cooper turned ten a few weeks ago."

Steve nodded. Probably when Natasha was officially in Chicago to help Clint. He wasn't mad at her for lying to him. It wasn't her place to tell him about Clint's family.

Rumlow walked in with Rollins and the rest of STRIKE in tow to ask about Nat's condition. Somehow Steve suspected that Rumlow didn't give a damn about her but only asked because Fury was in the building.

"She'll be on her feet in no time." Clint answered for Steve.

"That's nice. We're heading back to DC. There's still room for the two of you on the Quinjet." Rollins said.

Steve shook his head. "I'm staying here."

Clint nodded his agreement and STRIKE left.

A nurse came and told them that Natasha was now in her hospital room and they could see her. But only one visitor at a time.

They got up to get to her room. "Fury is probably with her right now. You can go in after her." Clint told him.

"Thanks."

They walked to the door with number 391 and the room had a window and he could see through the blinds that Fury was with Natasha who was asleep. He didn't want to eavesdrop but it was impossible not to with his enhanced hearing. It was like Fury was standing right next to him.

"Romanoff, don't do that to me ever again. I almost had a heart attack." Fury sighed and it looked like he squeezed her hand. He turned around and walked out of the room. "I'm here with a chopper but I take it you two want to stay here?" Fury's phone rang and he answered it. "Yes, she's stabil. How do you even know about that, Stark?"

Tony? Steve smiled. Tony may be loud and crass on the outside but he did care about his friends.

"Of course you did." Fury chuckled darkly. "We're gonna have a talk about that, Stark! That's not necessary. SHIELD can provide Romanoff with everything she needs." He hang up on Tony and turned to him and Clint. "Stark hacked into SHIELD and put an alert on you three to know if you are in danger or go missing." Fury left with that.

"Go in and talk to Tasha. I have to call my wife to give her an update."

"Thanks, Clint."

She looked so small in that hospital bed. She was hooked on fluids and a blood bag and he was careful to not pull her PVC out when he took her hand. Her breathing was even and the ECG told him that her heart was beating regularly.

"You scared the shit out of me, Nat." He whispered and pressed a kiss to her wrist to avoid her PVC. "I thought for a moment that you wouldn't make it. I can't do this without you. You're the only thing that makes sense. The only thing that matters. I love you so much, Nat. I know you're not ready to hear it but I have to say it to you. I never loved anyone before. Not like this. So please open your eyes soon and make grandpa jokes about me, sweetheart."

He could hear that Clint finished his call and Steve got up to give Clint the room. He leaned down to kiss her forehead and cupped her cheek. "I love you. Come back to me."

He left the room even though he didn't want to leave her side but Clint was her best friend. "What did your wife say?"

"She said that she would love to have Natasha in her care but she doesn't think she'll want to come." Clint gave him an amused look. "Laura thinks Tasha would rather have you nurse her back to health."

Steve would rather have that as well. He probably couldn't visit Nat at Clint's farm for safety reasons and he would go insane if he couldn't see her for four weeks. "Why don't we let Nat decide what she wants."

"Good answer." Clint laughed. "I see you already found the key to a good relationship. Your woman is always right." He patted him on the arm and then walked into Natasha's room.

"Hey Tasha." Clint closed the door and Steve decided to get them coffee and something to eat. He needed something for his metabolism and he didn't want to eavesdrop on Clint.

* * *

Steve was at Natasha's side again and waited for her to wake up. Clint left to find them a place to sleep since Natasha had to stay at the hospital for four days until she could be moved to DC and neither of them wanted to leave her alone during that time.

He went to the giftshop earlier to get her a stuffed bear and ballons. It was probably cheesy and she would scoff at his gifts but he didn't think she got a lot of presents in her life and he wanted to change that.

He held her hand the entire time while he waited and suddenly he could feel how her fingers moved. "Natasha?"

Her eyelids moved and began to flutter. "Nat, can you hear me? Open your eyes for me, please."

She slowly blinked them open. "What the fuck happend?" She rasped out. "I feel like I got hit by truck."

He jumped up and kissed her face in joy." You all scared us so much!"

"Steve?" She looked like she didn't even notice him before. "Where am I?"

"Hospital." He sat down on his chair again. "You got shot by one of Markonow's men."

She tried to sit up but he pushed her gently back."You need to rest. You had an operation two hours ago. Your liver got hit."

She looked like she wanted to argue but then settled back into the pillows. He may or may not had snuck into an empty room to steal another pillow for her. She liked to sleep with two pillows. "Are you okay, Steve?"

"I am now." He smiled at her and kissed her each of her finger tips. "I thought I would lose you when you went down to the ground."

She grabbed his hand to hold it. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, sweetheart. You just have to heal. That reminds me, Fury wants you to stay at Clint's farm."

Natasha's eyes widened in surprise but she collected herself quickly. Wow, the meds really took a toll on her if she couldn't control her expression. "What are you talking about?"

"Clint told me about his wife and kids. You don't have to cover for him anymore." He smiled and brushed her hair behind her ear.

"I wanted to tell you but no one can know about them."

"I know. I'm not mad. Don't worry about it."

"Do you want to stay with them in Delaware?" He hoped she would say no. He knew that he was selfish but he wanted to take care of her. It maybe was old fashioned but he thought that was his job. If the roles were reversed, he'd want Nat to take care of him.

"I don't want the kids to see me like this." She played with her blanket and avoided to look him in the eye." I'll stay at the Triskelion until I'm better. The medical staff can look after me."

"You don't want that. You don't want them to see you in a vulnerable position." He knew that about her. He tilted her chin gently to make her look at him. "You can stay with me or I stay with you at your place." He smiled at her. "I'm your boyfriend. It's my job to take care of you."

"Steve." She sighed. "I don't want to be a burden to you."

"You're not! I actually want to take care of you. I should have been faster and got between that bullet and you."

"Don't. There is nothing that you could have done. I was sloppy and didn't see the bullet coming. That's on me and no one else."

"So you let me nurse you back to health? Like I did when you had the flu?"

She scoffed. "A flu is hardly the same as a bullet to the stomach." She looked at the end of her bed. "Did you get me that?" She pointed that the bear and the ballons.

"Yeah. I know it's chee-"

"Thank you. I love it." She gave him a tiny smile. "I never got something like this before."

He saw this as his opening. "So you stay at my place?"

"Fine." She rolled her eyes. "But I'm warning you. I'll get mean when I'm bored."

"Bring it." He grinned at her. He finally felt useful again. But he didn't know how to explain to Fury that he wasn't coming into work for the next four weeks. He hoped Fury's fondness of Natasha would help him convince him. Oh God, did he have to tell Fury about them?

* * *

 _Nick Fury is Natasha Romanoff's dad and no one can convince me otherwise_

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	22. Chapter 22

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* * *

Chapter 22

Natasha wasn't kidding when she told him that she would get mean when she was bored. He knew that she was lashing out at him during the first week because she felt useless and weak and he tried his best to not take it personally. He also hadn't been always very nice to his ma and Bucky when he was sick and they wanted to help him. She always apologized afterwards and let him help her.

They decided after some arguing that he would stay at her place. She insisted that it was enough if he would check in on her from time to time to help her change her bandage but he could see that she needed more help than that and he was afraid that something happened to her while he wasn't there. So he packed a suitcase and moved in with her for the time being.

* * *

The conversation with Fury about his four week long vacation was interesting to say the least. He was at the Triskelion with Nat after she got flown back to DC and while she got checked through by the SHIELD docs, he was in Fury's office to tell him about his plan.

"I heard from Barton that Romanoff isn't going to stay in Delaware." Fury sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I guess she can stay at my house. My housekeeper can look after her. I don't want her running around in her apartment alone and popping her stitches. We both know she'll try to redo them herself and she's no Dr. Strange ."

"About that, Sir. I'm going to take care of Natasha. That's why I'm here. I need the time off while she recovers."

"Are you now?" Fury chuckled. "How is STRIKE gonna run without Romanoff and you?"

"If there's a world ending scenerio I'll be there but otherwise I won't come in." He put his Captain America face on to stand his ground.

Fury's lips twitched in amusement. "And Agent Romanoff is okay with that?"

"Yes, sir."

"Interesting. Can't say I saw this coming. Or maybe I should have." Fury smirked. "I can see why you fell for her but I didn't think you'd be her type."

Should he be offended by that? Steve didn't know what to answer. He guessed Fury now knew that they were a couple. "So I get the next weeks off?"

"Yeah, yeah. Just make sure we can reach you if we need you. And make sure Natasha is taking good care of." Fury's expression darkened and Steve knew he didn't just mean the next four weeks while she was recovering.

* * *

He was now staying with her for one week and it was time again to change her bandage. He couldn't stand looking at her wound and always hurried to change the bandage. He should have protected her, he should have taken that bullet. They didn't tell him in Philadelphia but they had to reanimate Nat on the OR table. Her heart stopped beating for 30 seconds.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Natasha asked him when he pulled her shirt back over her upperbody.

"I read the medical report about your stay in Philadelphia." He helped her back onto the couch and covered her with a blanket. "You were dead for 30 seconds." He did everything to hold his tears back. What if they didn't manage to bring her back? He couldn't imagine to live in this world without her. Sam asked him after his first visit to the VA about what made him happy and Natasha's face immediately flashed through his mind.

"Steve." She whispered and interwined their hands. "I'm okay now. Don't think about that, okay?"

He nodded and looked at their hands. Her small hand fitted to perfectly into his. Natasha wanted to take a nap while he would get out to get take out for them. She was in the mood for Indian food and he had no clue how to make it.

"I'll be right back." He kissed her forehead and left her apartment.

Natasha was on the phone when he came back with two bags full of food. She smiled at him and his heart fluttered like it did everytime she smiled. He placed the bags on the coffee table and went to the kitchen to get cutlery.

Natasha moved to make room for him on the couch and ended her phone call. "That was Clint. He says hi." She opened a styrofoam container and smelled the food. "Mm. Thanks for getting take out." She digged her fork into her food.

"No problem." He started to dig into his own food.

They ate in silence and watched the news and he got up to get her pain killers that she couldn't take on an empty stomach.

She gulped the glass of water in one sip down. "Steve?" She looked at him with hesitation.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want kids?"

He was surprised. He didn't think that would have been her question. He didn't think about a starting family ever since he got out of the ice and even before that he wasn't sure if he really wanted to have children. It was just something that was expected of you. Could he even be a father and be Captain America? No, he could only be one of the two and he wanted to be Captain America. He wanted to protect people with Natasha by his side. But did she want to have kids? Would being with him deny her of something, stop her from being a mother? Would she leave him one day because she wanted to have children?

"Steve?" She looked almost scared. "Do you...do you want to have children one day?"

"No." He blurted out. "I don't. Do you want to?" What if she said yes? Would they break up?

She shook her head. "No and even if I did, I can't get pregnant. The Red Room made sure of that." She whispered.

He took her hands to kiss them. "I'm sorry they took this from you."

"I'm sorry I lied to you."

He furrowed his eyebrows. What was she talking about? "I told you I was on birth control when we had sex for the first time."

"Oh. It's okay. I understand that's not something you wanted to talk about in that moment."

They cuddled on the couch and watched FRIENDS. The pain meds knocked Nat out and he carried her to bed and made sure that she wouldn't roll on her stomach during the night.

* * *

Two weeks past and Natasha could move around without pain. He took her grocery shopping and walked with her through a small park near her apartment complex. One afternoon they met Sam for ice cream and his mom made her cookies. Natasha was obviously caught off guard by the nice gesture of a stranger but she played with the ribbon around the cookie jar the entire drive back to her place and she knew that she was happy with her gift.

Natasha took her place on the couch and put her legs over his lap. She was getting better and her wound was nicely healing. She would have a scar but Tony offered to fly her to Seoul to a Dr. Cho who removed the scar from his heart surgery. Natasha said that she was thinking about it since a scar on her stomach wasn't that easy to hide as the one on her hip. He knew that she personally didn't care about her scars and he didn't care if she had any. It didn't make her less beautiful, it made her even more beautiful. It was a reminder that she faced death and won.

He massaged her legs and she had her eyes closed and hummed to herself. If he was being honest, he didn't want to go back to his place after she was healed. His apartment was cold and quiet and hers was warm and full of life. But he didn't have the courage to ask her if he could move in with her for real. Besides it was probably way to soon for that. Who moves together after two and a half months?

"You wanna watch a movie or something, Nat?"

"No. Tell me something about your friend Bucky." She gave him a small smile. He started to tell her about his life before the ice and the serum. About his ma and how hard she worked and how loving and kind she was.

"What do you wanna know?" He pulled her socks off her feet to massage them.

She shrugged and bit into one of the cookies Sam's mom made for her. "What was he like?"

"He was funny, he had great sense of humor." He smiled at her. "Always looked out for me and saved my ass when I got in trouble. And all the girls in Brooklyn loved him. He even charmed the old lady from the clothing store who never smiled or sold her clothes for a deal. But his little sister Becca saw a nice dress one day in that window's shop and really wanted it but it was too expensive. Bucky walked to the store the next day again and charmed the old hag into selling it to him for half the price." He chuckled. "Bucky was a great brother to Becca. And to me. I wouldn't have made it past 17 without him. He was the best." He knew that he must have had a sad facial expression when Nat leaned forward and cupped his face to kiss him.

"I didn't mean to make you sad, Steve." She whispered and kissed him again.

"I know. It's good to talk about him. He was memorable guy."

"I wish I could have met him." She leaned back against the pillows again.

He had to laugh. "Oh boy, he would have been so smitten with you. He would have hit on you the moment he saw you." He grinned at her.

She rolled her eyes and pulled her feet from his lap and was in the next moment sitting on his lap. "Too bad I only have eyes for his best friend." She pressed her body against him and kissed him hungrily and slipped her tongue into his mouth when he gapsed. They needed to stop any minute now before they were both too far gone. Natasha wasn't allowed to engage in any strenous physical activities and sex was definitely one of them. He didn't think it would be this hard to go without sex for a few weeks when he was still a virgin but now that he knew how great sex was, how great sex with her was, it was really taking its toll on him. He ached for her.

Nat started to grind her hips against him and grabbed her waist to hold her still . "Stop it. You know we can't"

She tried to move but he was so much stronger than her. "Please! I miss you!" She whispered against his lips. "I miss having you inside me."

Yeah he missed being inside of her too but her health was more important than that. He kissed her nose. "One more week, doll."

She groaned in annoyance and got of his lap. "This sucks!"

He nodded and grabbed a pillow to hide his erection but of course she knew that it was there. She was sitting on it seconds ago. She smirked at him. "Good to know I'm not the only one who's horny."

He huffed a laugh out and turned the tv on. They watched a documentary about giraffes and fell asleep on the couch.

He thanked the universe that he wasn't needed during the four weeks and he got to look after Nat the entire time. It was horrible what happend to her but it also brought them closer. They talked about everything and anything and learned so much about each other.

* * *

They visited Sam at his house and had a barbecue with him and his family and Steve felt so proud when he introduced Nat as his girlfriend. She would go back to work next week but he still insisted that she should sit down and that he would get her anything she wanted. He got up to get her a beer and some ribs and Sam's mother Darlene sat down next to Nat and thanks to his good hearing he could hear them.

"He's a keeper. You don't find a good man like that every often, honey."

"I know. I'm not letting him go anywhere." Something told him that Nat knew that he could hear them. "He's mine." Her possessiveness made him dizzy and filled him with happiness. He knew how much it meant that she said something like that.

On Friday she had a appointment with the SHIELD docs and they cleared her for work. She told him that after she came back to her apartment and before she crashed her lips against his and pushed him against a wall.

"I can now officially engage in strenous activities again." She wiggled her eyebrows and led him to the bedroom.

He honestly lost count of how many times they made love. They only left her bedroom to get food or to use the bathroom. Or to have sex somewhere outside her bed.

It was Sunday evening and they both would get back to work tomorrow. He was looking forward to it but it also meant that he would have to get back to his place. They ended up on the floor in front of her bed after another round of mindblowing sex. No wonder everyone was so obsessed with it, sex was fucking amazing. He was laying on his back and Natasha was wrapped around him with her head on his chest and looking up at him.

"Steve?" She kissed his pec.

"Mm?" He was getting sleepy after all that sex.

"Did you buy your apartment or did you rent it?"

"It's rented. Why?"

She moved up his body until her face hovered over his. "So you could easily move? Like say to here?" Her voice was small and unsure.

"Really?"

"I know it's probably too soon and all that jazz. But I like having you around me all the time. Sleeping next to you." She paused. "But it's okay if you don't want to."

He reached up to kiss her. "I recall my lease tomorrow. I would love to move in with you."

She smiled brightly at him and kissed him. "This is gonna be fun."

And it turned out they weren't too tired to celebrate this new step of their relationship with another round of lovemaking. He was going to live with a woman. The little Steve from Brooklyn would have never thought that would happen for him.

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	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

What did one wear to meet one's boyfriend's ex almost-girlfriend? Natasha was standing naked after a shower in her closet and staring at her clothes. She probably had enough to fill a boutique but she didn't know what to wear. She wanted to look good but not like she was trying to look good but also chic and then again also casual. She knew it was stupid to feel threatened by an almost hundred year old woman but Peggy Carter led an impressive life and was the total opposite of Natasha. She still couldn't believe that Steve wanted to be with her. He was even going to move in with her next week!

Well, he was already staying mostly at her, soon their, place after she recovered from her gunshot and she asked him to move in with her. But his lease was up officially next week and they would rent a truck to get his stuff. The Red Room taught her that she had no place in the world and would be better off alone and here she was living with the man she loved. She hadn't said it to him yet and he didn't tell her he loved her either but she knew that he loved her. He took care of her while she was hurt and moving in for a man from his era was a big step. She hoped that he knew that she loved him too.

"Doll? Are you ready?" Steve yelled from the living room.

She usually hated it when people called her endearments because she thought they were demeaning but she loved it when Steve used them. She knew that he called her that to show his affection for her. And doll was her favourite. She never felt as close to anyone as she felt to Steve. Not even Clint.

And she thought that their relationship was perfect. They had meaningful conversations that lasted hours, they laughed so much together, they protected each other and their sex life was incredible. She experienced the best sex of her life with Steve pretty much daily. She was beyond flattered that he wanted her so much. She never had that much sex before and his stamina was out of this world. Thanks to Steve she now knew that multiple orgasms weren't just a myth created by Cosmopolitan because they made love for hours. They could be glad that they both didn't need that much sleep. She was tempted to walk into the living room buttnaked to have Steve ravish her all afternoon. And then for the rest of the night because they were both insatiable. But they had to wait because they were going to visit Peggy.

"I'll be out in a sec!" She grabbed a pair of jeans and a silk blouse and slipped into the outfit. She completed it with heeled sandals because it was finally spring and she didn't have to fear anymore to freeze her toes off. She didn't need a jacket because they would take her car and not his bike.

Steve stood up from the couch when she walked into the living room. He looked really handsome in his black jeans and sweater. He was just missing some red and he would be wearing her colors.

"You look amazing, Nat." He was in three wide steps in front of her and kissed her deeply. She returned his kiss eagerly and really wanted to rip his clothes off and let him take her right here and right now.

He pulled away after a few minutes of heated kissing. "We have to go now or we'll never leave."

"Once we're back, I'll handcuff you to our bed to have my wicked ways with you." She leaned up and bit his lip.

He laughed. He was much more comfortable with sex and talking about it with her now. "You sure you can hold me down?"

They both knew that she couldn't and that he could rip the handcuffs easily apart but they both also knew that he had a thing for bossy women.

"You'll see." She whispered and made sure that her hips were swaying in a seductive way when she walked to the door. She knew she was successful when she looked over her shoulder and caught him staring at her ass.

* * *

They just go to her car in the underground garage when her phone beeped with a message. She pulled it out of her bag and read the text.

"I'm sorry but I have to meet Peggy another time. Fury needs us." She gave him an apologetic smile. She knew how much Steve was looking forward to have her meeting Peggy. And she was losing her memory more and more to her Alzheimers.

"Okay, we go after we dealt with that." He looked disappointed but switched into mission mode. "What does Fury want?"

"We have to retake command of a SHIELD ship located in the Indian Ocean." She explained and got into the driver's seat.

They were at the Trikelion in no time and changed into their uniforms and met the rest of STRIKE at the Quinjet. She knew that most agents now suspected that she and Steve were together but they kept their mouths shut. Out of respect for Steve and because they feared her.

They boarded the jet and everyone read the files about the mission. Right before they reached the Lemurian and Steve was about to give his orders her phone got a new text. Fury told her to collect data from the Lemurian Star and to keep quiet about it. She glanced at Steve, he was gonna be pissed at her and Fury when he found out about that.

"Alright, I'm gonna sweep the deck and find Batroc. Nat, you'll kill the engines and wait for instructions. Rumlow, you sweep aft, find the hostages, get them to the life-pods, get 'em out. Let's move." Steve ordered and Natasha felt already guilty. She would kill the engines and then extract Fury's side mission.

"STRIKE, you heard the Cap. Gear up!" Rumlow yelled to the rest of the team.

She checked her parachute while Steve was heading to the ramp without one. Show off!

"Did you do anything fun last Saturday?" She asked him with a smirk. She already knew what he did last weekend. Her.

"As a matter of fact I did." He grinned back. They spent the day with her showing Steve how much fund blindfolds could be. He winked at her and then jumped out of the jet.

"Was he wearing a parachute?" She heard Rollins asking.

"No. No, he wasn't." Rumlow chuckled.

* * *

She easily made her way to the engines room and shut the engines down. She knew that Steve expected her to wait for his orders but she already had other ones. Funny how much love changed someone. She used to follow Fury's orders without question but now all she wanted to do was to tell Steve about them because she felt like she was betraying him. But orders were orders and they had to be followed.

She could hear Steve telling her through the comms to help Rumlow with the hostages but she ignored him and began to collect SHIELD data on a USB drive. She honestly had no idea why Fury wanted her to do that but she knew that Fury never did anything without a reason.

Suddenly there was a crash and Steve smashed through the door with Batroc. Ah, fuck. She hoped she would have gotten away with it.

"Well this is awkward." She joked and hoped he wasn't too mad.

"Rumlow needed your help. What the hell are you doing here?" He barked and walked over to her. Well so much for hoping he wasn't too mad.

"You're saving SHIELD intel." He realized when he looked at the computer she was typing on.

She looked briefly at him and he looked pissed. "Whatever I can get my hands on."

"Our mission is to rescue hostages, Natasha!"

"No that was your mission. Fury gave me another one." He was a soldier, he had to understand that Fury's orders went above his.

She unplugged the USB drive and wanted to leave. She really didn't want to have a fight with him during a mission. But he grabbed her arm to make her look at him. "You just jeopardized this entire operation!"

"I think that's overstating things." She said but of course Batroc chose that moment to throw a grenade at them. Fucking bastard! Steve deflected the bomb with his shield and grabbed her by the waist and ran towards a window. She shot at it and he jump through it to protect them from the blast.

"Okay that one's on me." She sighed in defeat.

"You're damn right." He snapped at her and got up and left.

* * *

He was obviously mad at her and didn't talk to her during the flight back to DC. It was already the next day when they arrived and Steve immediately stormed off. Probably to talk to Fury.

She took a shower and waited for him at her car but he sent her a text that he wouldn't stay at her place tonight and that he already left to get his bike.

She knew that their work would sooner or later cause problems between them. She cursed Fury for his ways and Steve for being a stubborn ass.

It was around midnight when her phone beeped with a text. It was from Steve and she hoped that he would tell her that he was on his way and that they would make up soon. But it was nothing like that. She almost dropped her phone when she read the message. Fury was at the hospital and she neeeded to come immediately. She grabbed her car keys and drove like a manaic to the hospital.

SHIELD agents were everywhere and one agent led her to the OR waiting room where Steve was looking through a window. She rushed to Steve's side and watched how they operated on Fury. Steve took her hand and squeezed it.

"Is he gonna make?" She whispered.

"I don't know." He whispered back and squeezed her hand again.

"Tell me about the shouter." She would find that bastard and kill him with her bare hands.

"He's fast and strong." Steve paused. "He had a metal arm."

No that can't be happening. A door opened and Hil came to stand next to her.

"Balistics?" She asked no one in particular. She already knew. They left an impression on her body for life. She never told Steve the full story about her Odessa scar. No one believed her that it was the Winter Soldier.

"Three slugs, no rifling. Completely untraceable." Hill answered.

"Soviet made." Natasha contiuned.

"Yeah." The surprise was obvious in her voice.

And then they watched together how Fury flatlined.

"Don't do this to me, Nick!" She breathed out. He couldn't die. He just couldn't.

They watched as the medical team was trying to revive him but he was still flatlining. This couldn't be happening.

"Time of death 1:03 am."

Steve said something to her but she couldn't hear him. Her whole world was crashing down. Fury couldn't be dead. Where were the hidden cameras? Just two weeks ago she had coffee with Fury in his office where he awkwardly told her that he was happy for her and Steve and that if Steve broke her heart and she had to kill him he would help her get rid of the body. And now she was supposed to bury his?

She was staring at his body and tried to fight her tears back. Fury wouldn't want anyone to cry for him. Tears were for sentimental fools he always used to say.

"Natasha." Steve was suddenly by her side but she ignored him. She touched Fury's forehead one last time. _Until we meet again_

She stormed out of the room and of course Steve was on her heels. "Natasha!"

She turned around. "Why was Fury in your apartment?" Something was going on and she needed to know what!

"I don't know." Steve replied and she had to fight back the urge to roll her eyes. He was a terrible liar.

Rumlow walked over to them. "Cap, they need you back at SHIELD."

"Yeah, give me a second."

"They want you now!"

"Okay!" Steve shot back and looked at her.

Then he moved forward and hugged her and stuffed something in the back pocket of her jeans. "I'm sorry for your loss, Natasha." He said to her loud enough for Rumlow to hear and she could see how much he meant it despite it clearly being a ruse. Steve nodded at her one more time and left with the rest of STRIKE.

She walked numbly to her car and drove home. Only when she was in her apartment where she was sure that no one was watching her, she pulled whatever Steve slipped into her back pocket . She knew that no one was supposed to know about this.

It was a USB stick with the SHIELD logo on it. Something told her it was the one she used on the Lemurian.

What the fuck was going on?

* * *

 _As you noticed I changed some of the plot from the movie to fit this story. And I will change some other things. Stay tuned._

 _I just had to have Steve give the USB drive to Nat. He was like okay Fury said not to trust anyone but he clearly didn't mean my girlfriend._

 _Let me know what you think:)_


	24. Chapter 24

**_Chapter 23 was uploaded yesterday-but the date of update didn't change, so you might wanna go back and check if you read it:)_**

 _The scenes of TWS that didn't make it into this chapter are canon for this story and happened like in the movie_

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Chapter 24

He couldn't really comprehend what just happened. One minute he talked to Pierce after running into his neighbour who was actually a SHIELD agent and spying to him. God, he thought that Nat was paranoid when she said there was something going on with Kate. He should only listen to her from now on.

And then he got attacked by STRIKE and he had to jump out of the fucking elevator and then he lost his Harley because he had to bring down a fucking Quinjet. This was so not his day. And Fury was dead and he couldn't be with Nat to comfort her because this whole fucking mess happened. He needed to get to her as soon as possible. He didn't know what was going on but if they were after him they would be after her too. SHIELD bugged his apartment, they knew that he and Natasha were a couple. He got sick when he thought about how much they apparently knew about him and her. They spent many hours there even before they got together. Every conversation with her was recorded, every time they were intimate someone was listening.

If Fury was still alive, he would break his jaw. How could he do this Natasha? She trusted him! And he didn't think she knew that his place was under surveillance. They were too many things she said and did that wouldn't have happened if she knew about it. She shared her only memory of her mother with him in this apartment and SHIELD knew about it too.

He ran as fast as he could down the bridge. He needed a plan. He needed to get to Natasha and they needed to find out what was on that USB drive he gave her at the hospital. First he needed to change his clothes. He wasn't really incognito in his uniform and the shield on his back. How was he supposed to find Nat? Was she still at her apartment? Was she already on the run and looking for him?

He was in byroad when suddenly a SUV was racing towards him. Fuck, did SHIELD already find him? The car got closer and he could finally see who was driving. Natasha was in the driver's seat and a hoodie covered her hair.

She did a turn and opened the passenger's seat. "Get in." She screamed and he jumped into the car.

"How did you find me?" He breathed out and thanked his lucky stars that she was here and unhurt.

"I had Stark put his alert he has on us on my phone. When I got the info that you were now a fugitive, I knew I had to come and find you. I've been circling the area and then I finally saw you." She nodded at the backseat. "I have clothes for you. And I have cash, weapons and fake passports. We are covered for now."

God that woman was incredible. But she couldn't have gotten the passports today, good ones took time. "Nat, how long do you have this stash?"

"For me? For years. For you? Since we started dating." She admitted without looking at him. She was probably embarrassed.

He leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Thank you. What would I do without you!" She smiled and turned her head to give him a short kiss.

She patted the front pocket of her jacket. "I have the USB drive in here."

He nodded and crawled on the back seat to change his clothes. He put the glasses and baseball cap on and and got back into the passenger's seat. "Did you get a look at what's on it?"

She shook her head. "SHIELD can trace it as soon as it's plugged it. We need to go to a shopping mall where we can't be easily made. Blend in with the people."

"Okay." She was way better at espionage than him. He would let her take the lead. "Nat, I am so sorry about Nick. I know how much he meant to you."

Natasha stared at the road. "Yeah." Her hands tightend on the wheel and her knuckles turned white. "I know who killed him. Most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists, the ones who do call him the Winter Soldier. He's credited with over two dozen assassinations in the last fifty years."

"So he's a ghost story?" He never heard of an assassin lasting that long. They were active for maybe one or two decades before they got killed.

"No, he's not. He's the one who shot me in Odessa." She looked at him briefly. "Going after him is a dead end. I know, I've tried." She pulled the drive out of her pocket and handed it to him.

He took it and hid it in his jacket. "Well, let's find out what the ghost wants."

They ditched the SUV at the shopping mall and were now on their way to Camp Lehigh and his past. It couldn't be a coincidence that the coordinates led them to the army base he was trained.

* * *

"Where did Captain America learn how to steal a car?" Natasha was cleary amused.

"Nazi Germany. And we're borrowing. Take your feet of the dash."

She chuckled and did as he told her to.

"You were right."

"Hm?"

"About Kate, she's a SHIELD agent. Send by Fury to protect me." He laughed dryly. "And my place was bugged."

"What?" Natasha looked shocked. "That can't be true! I checked regularly for bugs when I was at your place. Even before we got together!"

"That's what Fury told me. And Pierce." He looked over at her and she was practically fuming.

"That's not possible. Unless he had some tech I never heard about." She was angry and he couldn't blame her. He was pretty pissed himself. "That means that Fury knew about us before we told him. Kate saw us together and with the audio from your place... It's in the files, Steve. They are probably looking for us together."

"I know. I'm sorry, Nat."

"Did Fury tell you to give me that USB drive?"

"No." He whispered because he knew his answer would hurt her. "He told me to trust no one."

"That's rich." She scoffed. "He gives me different orders behind your back, spies on you and me and then thinks I'm behind whatever the fuck is going on."

He grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss to it. "I trust you. I trust you more than anyone in this world. I knew immediately that you had nothing to do with it and that the stick would be safe with you."

She laced their fingers together and rested his hand on her thigh. "Thank you. That means a lot. I feel the same." She gave him a small smile.

* * *

SHIELD was HYDRA or HYDRA was SHIELD. And they were trying to kill them. He was so furious, they tried to kill _her._ Natasha was unconscious in his arms and he was running through the forest to the next town to borrow a new car. They needed to hide somewhere to come up with a plan. He didn't know what Project Insight was but with HYDRA being behind it, it couldn't be something good.

He found a car and placed Natasha gently in the passenger's seat. He started the engine and drove off the parking lot. Where could they go? They had to go back to DC, whatever Project Insight was it would be operated from the Triskelion.

Sam, they had to go to Sam. Sam was never in his apartment, so hopefully SHIELD didn't know about him.

Natasha began to stir and groan right before they entered DC. "Nat, are you hurt?"

"No, no. I'm okay. Are you hurt?"

"No. I'm driving to Sam." She nodded and closed her eyes again.

Of course Sam gave them shelter and let them get some rest in his guest room. They showered together and Natasha let him wash her hair. He was still in the bathroom while she sat on the bed and dried her hair. She looked lost and distant.

"You okay?" He sat down on the chair facing her on the bed.

"Yeah."

"Natasha, talk to me." He placed his hand on her knee.

"When I first joined SHIELD, I thought I was going straight. But I guess I just traded in the KGB for HYDRA. I thought I knew whose lies I was telling, but...I guess I can't tell the difference anymore." She gave him a sad smile and his heart ached for her. He knew how much she counted on her work for SHIELD to make amends and now she found out that she still worked for the bad guys.

"I'm sorry,Nat. We'll figure this out."

"Thank you for saving my life. I owe you."

"No, you don't. We protect each other. That's who we are. You would have done the same for me." He leaned forward to kiss her. She cupped his face and kissed him with everything she had. She ended up in his lap and they kissed with a desperate need for each other. He could have lost her last night. He poured everything in his kisses. He wanted to tell her so badly that he loved her.

Suddenly there was a cough. "I made breakfast. If you aren't too busy for that."

* * *

"It was him. He looked right at me like he didn't even know me." How could Bucky be alive? And how could he work for HYDRA? What did they do to him?

"How's that even possible? It was like 70 years ago." Sam said.

He thought the same thing, unless of course... " Zola. Bucky's whole unit was captured in '43, Zola experimented on him. Whatever he did helped Bucky survive the fall. They must have found him and..."

"None of this is your fault." Natasha tried to assure him. But wasn't it? He wrongly assumed that Bucky died. He should have looked for him. He failed him. "Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky." Bucky who had always had his back and when it counted Steve didn't do the same for him.

"We need to get a doctor here. We don't put pressure on that wound she's gonna bleed out here in the truck" Sam yelled and he looked up at Nat. She was pale and blood was oozing out of her wound. Some boyfriend he was. He didn't even realize she was that badly hurt and even then she comforted him. He didn't deserve her.

One guard suddenly electrocuted the other one and pulled their helmet off- it was Hill. "That thing was squeezing my brain."

Hill saved them and got them out of that truck and drove them in a van to what looked like a dam. Natasha was getting weaker and rested against his side during the drive. He hoped that dam had medical supplies to treat her gunshot. His best friend shot the woman he loved twice. God, this was some kind of twisted fate.

The dam harboured a secret facility and he helped Nat to walk into it.

"GSW. She's lost at least a pint." Maria yelled at a man who was running towards her. Wasn't that one of the doctors operating Fury?!

"Maybe two." Sam interjected.

"Let me take her." The doctor said and wanted to get to Natasha.

"She'll want to see him first." Maria replied and led them down the corridor. See who? Natasha looked as confused as he felt.

They followed Hill into a room and came to sight with a not so dead Fury. What the fuck was going on?

"About damn time!" He greeted them.

* * *

Tomorrow they would take down the helicarriers that carried out Project Insight and SHIELD. He felt terrible that he would destroy Peggy's lifework but it had to be done. HYRA, SHIELD, it all had to go. Fury seemed a bit pissed with that decision but Nat, Sam and Maria agreed with him.

He and Sam would deal with the helicarriers while Nat would infiltrate the Council meeting. She wanted to take down the third helicarrier but he could convince her that she was needed at that meeting to make Pierce comply with their plan. He had a feeling that Bucky would be protecting the helicarriers and he didn't want Nat to face him again. Her wound was treated and he knew that the Red Room gave her a serum but she still wasn't on his level of enhancement. She was better now after a blood transfusion but she still wasn't at 100 percent and he didn't want to think about what he would do if Bucky hurt her again.

He was staring at the ceiling of the room he was staying in for the night. Natasha would come later because she needed to talk to Fury. She was pretty upset about everything. That he spied on them and that he didn't trust her. Did Fury really think Nat was HYDRA? He didn't question her loyality for one second. Fury would probably say that his feelings were blinding his judgement but he knew that Nat was one of the good guys.

He would have to face Bucky tomorrow. No, not Bucky. He would face the Winter Soldier tomorrow and he prayed to God that he would be able to break through to him. Bucky was his best friend, he was his brother. No matter what happened tomorrow that would never change and he hoped that he could help him and bring Bucky home. Natasha went through something similiar and she got out. Bucky could to the same.

The door opened and Natasha's head peaked through. "Hey, you got room in that bed?"

"Of course." He smiled briefly and she got into the room and slipped out of her boots and jeans and crawled under the blanket with him.

"How are you?" She rolled onto her good side and faced him.

"Confused. Angry. But mostly sad." He looked at the banage peaking through her top. "I didn't even notice how badly you were hurt in that truck."

"It's okay." She traced her finger over his face. "Finding out that your best friend isn't dead after 70 years is a pretty good excuse."

He kissed her palm when it was over his mouth. "You're so good to me. How are you? How's your shoulder?"

"Hurts a bit but it's okay. Fury's guy knows what he's doing."

"How did your talk with Fury go?"

Her features darkened. "He said that I would have done the same thing. Said we are spies and that's how we worked. Maybe that's true but I don't want to live like that anymore. I don't want to have a life built on lies, mistrust and isolation."

"People trust you and you're not alone." He cupped her face and she closed her eyes. "Clint trusted you with his biggest secret and welcomed you into his family. And I, I trust you with everything. I trust you with my life. And my heart." She opened her eyes and they were glistening. "You are the only one I completely trust. You are the only one I trust enough to give my heart to." This was the moment, now or never. "Natasha, I love you."

She smiled beautifully at him and a tear fell down onto the pillow. But then she looked sad. "I...I want you to know that I feel the same. But I can't say those three words. I never said them before in my entire life. I'm sorry. But I feel the same!" She had a pleading look on her face.

"I know. Take all the time you need to say it to me. Or don't say it to me. But I know you love me too." He could see it in her eyes that she loved him. Of course he would love to hear her say it but he wouldn't push her.

"Okay." She nodded and stroke his cheek with her hand. "I'll say it to you, one day. But know that I never felt this way for anyone before."

"Me too."

Natasha buried her face into his neck and he placed his chin on her head. They needed all the sleep they could get. Tomorrow would be a big day. The whole world was about to change.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"What are you doing?"

"She's disabling security protocols and dumping all the secrets onto the Internet." Pierce explained.

Getting into the Council meeting was easier than she anticipated. Her shoulder still hurt but she had no problem to take down the HYDRA agents protecting Pierce. And she was relieved that the Council members didn't turn out to be HYDRA as well. Pierce wouldn't walk out of this room alive but it would be a bitch to explain why she had to kill the entire World Council.

"Including HYDRA's" You son of a bitch, she added in her head. She was so fucking furious that everything she did for SHIELD, she did in the end for HYDRA. Did it matter that she saved lifes with her work? Did she get more red in her ledger? Maybe she should talk about this with Matt's priest.

"And SHIELD's. If you do this, none of your past is gonna remain hidden. Are you sure you're ready for the world to see you as you really are?" Pierce said trying to convince her not to leak everything.

She stopped typing and looked up from the screen. "Are you?"

"What about Captain Rogers?" Pierce smirked at her, clearly thinking he found her weakness. But Steve wasn't her weakness, he was her strength. "Do you really think he still wants to be with you after he finds out the truth about you? You did so many horrible things, Natasha."

She didn't know they were on a first name basis. Steve already knew about her past and the horrors she did for the Red Room. He read her real file before they got partnered up and he told her that it didn't matter who she used to be but who she was now. And he loved this version of her, the Natasha she created on her own. And she didn't care what the world thought about her. She only cared about the opinion of one man and that man told her he loved her last night.

She gave Pierce her signature smirk and continued to type.

"Disabling the encryption is an executive order, it takes two Alpha Level members." Pierce said trying to save his ass. Even if she wouldn't put a bullet in his head and he would get out of here alive, he would spend the rest of his life in prison. And men like him didn't make it far in prison.

She smiled at him sweetly. "Don't worry, company's coming."

She wondered if Fury was hovering over the Triskelion until he heard the right opening for his entrance. She almost smiled at his sense for dramatic entrances but she was still mad at him. Not trusting her and spying on her. He promised her that only a very small circle had excess to the tapes of Steve's apartment but that didn't help. And it didn't help that Fury might knew how she sounded when she was having sex. That was just creepy. She hoped he turned the volume off when she and Steve were fucking each other's brains out. They were both pretty loud.

The helicopter landed and Fury stepped out and the look on Pierce was priceless. She should have snapped a picture. Fury's coat was fluttering in the wind and she wondered if he only wore that thing for situations like this.

Fury got into the building and Pierce managed to collect himself. "Did you get my flowers? I'm glad you here, Nick."

Pierce and Fury both activated the disabling of the encryption and she checked her phone and it was already trending. Take that Wikileads!

Suddenly the Council members went to the ground and she grabbed her gun to point it at Pierce. Nick did the same.

"Unless you want a two inch hole in your sternum, I'd put that gun down." Pierce threatened and she tried her best not to roll her eyes. She had been in worse situations.

"That was armed from the moment you pinned it on." Smart bastard. She didn't lower her gun but Fury did. She was a bit surprised by it. There were more important things than her on stake here. But she did follow Nick's example and lowered her gun. Steve would kill her if she died.

The helicarries fired at each other and she sighed barely audible in relief. The mission was a success.

"What a waste."

"Still on the fence about Rogers' chances?" She was proud of him. He did good. She would tell him so as soon as she got out of here and they would meet.

Pierce looked annoyed. "Time to go, Councilwoman. This way, come on. You're gonna fly me out of here."

No, she wouldn't but decided to let him have this moment. While Fury spoke she got one of her widow bites out and used it on herself. Holy fuck that hurt...

"-tasha, come on!"

"Ow, those really do sting." She groaned out. Maybe she should apologize to the next person she was using it on.

* * *

The Triskelion was crashing down and she barely managed to catch Sam when he jumped out of the building. How fitting that with the end of SHIELD its heart also got destroyed.

But where was Steve if he wasn't with Sam?! A cold shiver went down her spine and she had the feeling that something terrible had happened. "Hill, where is Steve?" She didn't care how desperate she sounded. "You got a location on Rogers?"

Maria didn't answer and she got scared. Where was Steve?

"Maria!" She yelled into the comm and Sam gave her a worried look. "Where the fuck is Steve? Answer me!"

Hill sighed and her chest tightend. Hill showing any sign of emotion was never good. "He told me to destroy the helicarriers." Pause. "While he was still on the last one."

She looked at the hellicarriers that crashed into the Potomac. No, he got off soon enough. But what if his friend was there? He wouldn't leave him there. What if... No, she couldn't finish that thought.

"Natasha?" Sam placed a hand on her knee and she jumped at the contact. She forgot that he was there. Sam immediately withdrew his hand. "Where is Steve?"

She couldn't give him a verbal answer but pointed at the helicarrries that were now in the river. She couldn't move. She was never this scared in her life before. She didn't know what to do but thankfully Sam did. "Fury, get closer to the river. We need to find Cap."

Fury usually ignored it when others told him what do to but he turned the chopper and flew a few meters over the river. That alone showed her how serious the sitauation was. Sam leaned out of the helicopter on one side while she did the same on the other and they both searched for him. They wouldn't find like this if he was drowing. She should just jump into the water and dive to look for him. She glanced at the shore briefly and then looked at it closer. There was someone.

"There!" She screamed. "He's at the shore!"

Fury flew towards Steve's direction but it felt like it took hours to get to him and so she jumped out of the chopper to swim to him. "Don't!" She ignored Sam and did the crawl to get to him as fast as possible. The movement popped the stiches on her shoulder but she didn't care. She stumbled the last meters to Steve and fell on her knees beside him.

She stopped breathing when she got a closer look. He had multiple gun and stabbing wounds and his suit was soaked in blood. She leaned her head over his face to check his breathing and looked at his chest to see if it was raising and got nothing. She held her tears back and pressed her hands on his chest and gave him CPR. She had to repeat it a few times and from afar she could hear that Fury and Sam landed and were screaming.

"Don't do this to me. Don't make me fall in love with you and then die!" She pressed her mouth over his and blew air into his lungs.

He began to cough and she held his head while he choked water out. She sighed in relief. "That's it. Get it all out, honey."

She rested his head in his lap. "Natasha?"

"You're safe now, Steve. You're gonna be okay." She brushed his hair out of his forehead. Sirens were getting closer and Fury and Sam were now by their side.

"You are so beautiful,Nat. Like an angel!" He mumbled and closed his eyes again. She checked his pulse and it was thankfully still there.

"That's my man." Sam breathed out and fell into the sand next to them. Fury was gone.

The paramedics were running to their side and taking care of Steve. After a few death threats they let her accompany Steve to hospital in the ambulance.

* * *

She just got out of the senate hearing when her phone buzzed with a message from Sam.

 _He's awake and asking for you_

Of course he would wake up when she left his side for two hours for the hearing to get the government off their backs. She spent the night after his surgery at his bed and all morning until she had to leave but she only did when Sam promised her to text her immediately if there are any changes. Sam better have told Steve that she was by his side almost the entire time!

She didn't want her boyfriend to think that she wouldn't be with him after what happened to him. She already contacted an old friend in Kiev who she hoped would get his hands on more intel on the Winter Soldier. She knew that Steve would want to help him.

She drove to the hospital ignoring red lights and speed limits and knocked almost a nurse over when she ran to Steve's room. She mumbled a sorry and walked by the guards protecting Steve.

She got into the room without knocking and a pale and bruised Steve smiled at her when he saw her. Her heart fluttered and the fear and tension of the last 24 hours were gone. Steve was okay now.

"Hi" She breathed out and Sam excused himself and left the room. She wasn't even aware he was in the room until he spoke.

"Hey" His voice was hoarse. He reached his hand out to her and she took it and sat down on the chair that Sam's butt had warmed.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay. I heard you saved my life. Thank you, Nat." He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it. His lips were dry and chipped but his touch still felt so good.

She leaned over and kissed him softly. "I thought for a second that you were dead." She took a deep breath and pushed the thoughts of a lifeless Steve on the shore out of her mind. " I was so scared."

" 'm sorry." He had a sheepish look. "But I couldn't kill Bucky. I just couldn't. He's still in there. He dragged me out of the river." He spoke so fast that he was out of breath when he was done. His lung got hit in their fight.

"I know. I understand." She really did. If it were Clint or Steve... She would rather die than hurt them.

"I have to go after him." He looked at her with guilt and pain on his face. "I need to find him and bring him home."

"I know."

"I was hoping that you would come with me. Might be kinda romantic. We might get to see a bit from the world. And once Bucky is himself again... You two are gonna get along so well. After he apologized for shooting you of course." He smiled at her.

"Steve." She sighed. She didn't want to do this but she had to. "I can't come with you."

The smile fell from his face. "Why not? We're both jobless and I know we wanted to move in together and we will but just not right now."

"That's not it." She grabbed his hand to hold it. "I completely understand. And I would come with you to look for your friend but I can't. All my secrets are out. Everything I've done-"

"I don't care about that!"

She gave him a small smile. "I know that. But other people will. People who have a score to settle with me. And they will come for me. And I refuse to put a target on your back."

Steve's hold on her hands got tighter. "I will protect you." He said fiercely. "Anyone who wants to get to you has to get through me first."

"That's sweet but it would only distrect you from your search for Bucky. Besides I can protect me on my own."

Tears were starting to appear in Steve's eyes. "Are you... Are we breaking up?"

"What? No!" She shook her head so hard, she was suprised she didn't get whiplash. "It means that we'll be in a long distance relationship for some time. As soon as it's safe and all the demons from my past are dealt with, I'll come and find you. Maybe you already got Bucky back by that." She smirked. "And he can tell me embarrassing stories about you."

Steve huffed a laugh out but then got serious again. "I don't like this. Being apart from each other. We're better when we're together."

"Yeah but it's the smarter decision for now."

"When are you leaving, Nat?" He sounded as sad as she felt.

"When you get discharged and my contact in Kiev gave me everything he could find on Barnes."

"Natasha." He whispered and she could hear the gratitude and his love for her in his voice.

"It's no big deal. I know you'll need it."

"I love you, so much." He said softly.

"I..." She wanted to say it back so badly. She loved him, why couldn't she say it? She almost lost him yesterday and they would be soon apart of an unknown amount of time. Why couldn't she say it? She refused to let the Red Room still have that much power over her. _Love is for children._ Fuck you, Madame B! Love was everything! "I..."

"Shh, it's okay. I know."

She smiled at him sadly. "I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up."

"Hey, watch it. That's my fuck up you're talking about."

He moved to make room for her in his hospital bed and she slipped in careful not to pull on any IVs. She nestled into his side and Steve soon fell asleep. She listened to his breathing and enjoyed being this close to him. She didn't want to think about all the loney nights that were ahead of her.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Summer in Prague was really fucking hot. Sweat was running down his neck and one look at Sam told him that he didn't handle the heat any better. They had been looking for Bucky for five months now and found nothing. All leads turned out to be cold. They helped take down three HYDRA facilities in East Europe and his hope that they would find get intel about the Winter Soldier was crushed every time. Apparently only a very small circle knew about Bucky and Pierce was dead,Rumlow disappeared from the hospital and Rollins went after Fury and got killed. Natasha's contact could give them a location where he used to be stationed in the late nineties but when they went to that place it was only ruins.

And according to Sam he was moping. Was that really a surprise? Their search was so far pointless and his girlfriend was on another continent the last time they talked. Natasha called him once a week pretty much only to tell him that she was still alive, asked about any progress about finding Bucky and then she had to hang up again. He maybe talked to her for one hour in total in the last months. He missed her so much. He thanked his eidetic memory so he couldn't forget how she looked. He hoped that she was soon done with dealing with her enemies and would be soon by his side. He and Sam were both soldiers, they had no idea how to track someone that was trained to be shadow but Natasha did. She went through something similiar and they could really ues their expertise. He was so thankful to Sam for coming with him but he'd rather have Natasha with him.

And he owed Natasha so much. She got him the only good intel on Bucky and told Tony about his parents' death. He was dreading to talk to Tony about Bucky's involvement because what could he have said to him? My brainwashed best friend killed your parents and your dad was his friend so that's double fucked up. He was prepared to tell him about it when Tony contaced him and told him that he was searching for specialists to help Bucky and his mind. And then Tony suddenly said that Natasha told him the truth about what happened when his parents died and after some thinking he came to the conclusion that Bucky was a victim too and that his parents would want Tony to help him. He was speechless and he would never be able to show this gratitude to Stark. He was a good man, Howard would be proud.

He and Sam were in Prague because during the Cold War the Winter Soldier killed the Czech leader of the opposition and they hoped that maybe Bucky was tracing his kills back and they would run into him. There was a sighting of him in DC at the Smithsonian shorty after SHIELD fell and they had the theory had he was walking down memory lane. Tony, well JARVIS monitored Brooklyn if Bucky showed up there. Natasha told him that she did the same after she deflected. She went back to Russia and other places of her past to find her peace and to remember. Natasha also suspected that once Bucky had enough of his memories back he would go after HYDRA to get revenge. That's what she did. So he took down HYDRA facilities in hopes of running into Bucky there. It wasn't the only reason but it was one of the main reasons.

They raided on old and abandoned HYDRA base outside of Prague today but they didn't find anything besides rats and spider webs. Sam drove them back to their shabby hotel and he wondered how long he could ask him to tag along. Sam had a life in DC. A family, a job. The veterans needed him. He knew that he had to send him back to the States soon. He had to do this alone for a while until Natasha could be with him. She would probably be more successful in tracking down Bucky. But what if even Nat couldn't find him? They couldn't do this forever. He couldn't do this to Nat. He couldn't force her to put her life on hold for someone she didn't know and who put two bullets in her. He had to set a deadline and if he didn't find Bucky by then he would stop looking. Maybe Bucky would come to him in the end.

They walked up to their rooms and Steve tried his best to hide his shield. Tony sent him a new suit but he didn't wear it when they were out tracing leads because they tried to get as less attention as possible. It was 10 pm and it was getting dark and they were both tired. They would crash at the hotel and then leave for Romania where another potentially still active HYDRA base was. They needed to find out who the new leader of HYDRA was because he or she definitely knew all there is to know about the Winter Soldier.

He and Sam shared a suite with two bedrooms while suite sounded like it was some fancy hotel but it wasn't. They chose this one because no one asked for IDs and they could pay with cash. They didn't want to tip anyone of that they were here. He just wanted to wash the sweat and dirt off and then go to sleep. Maybe he would dream about Natasha.

Sam opened the door to the suite and turned the light on. They both stopped in their tracks. A woman was stitting on the shabby couch and smirking. She had brown hair but he took a second look and recognized the green of her eyes and the hint of amusement in them.

Sam aimed his gun at her because he didn't recognize her. But he would recognize those eyes everywhere.

"Natasha!" He breathed out and ran to her. He lifted her up from the couch and before she could say something he pressed his lips against her.

He could hear in the background how Sam huffed a huh out but he was too busy kissing his girl to answer him. She opened her mouth and let him explore it. She tasted like ice cream and vodka. A weird combination but right now it was his favourite taste in the world.

He had his arms wrapped around her waist and she looped hers around his neck and Sam yelled something like get a room before a shower was turned on. They only stopped kissing when Natasha pulled away to catch her breath. He realized that he was still lifting her off the ground and gently placed her feet back on it.

"I missed you." She admitted and smiled at him.

He pulled her against his chest and kissed her again. "I missed you so much, doll." He knew that she liked it when he called her that. God, being away from her was hell. He couldn't believe that she was finally back in his arms. "I love you so much." He whispered against her swollen lips.

She gave him a beautiful smile. "Feeling's mutual." She still hadn't said it in the traditional way but she found ways to say it back to him.

He sat down on the couch and pulled her in his lap. "Are you just dropping by or-?"

She brushed her fingers through his hair. God, it felt so good to be finally touched by her again. "I'm staying if you want me to."

"Of course I want you to. If it were up to me you're never leaving my side again." He grinned happily at her and played with her brown hair.

"I know it looks weird. I have to wait 'til my roots are grown out so I can match the color."

"So you're done?" He asked hopefully.

She nodded and kissed him. "I dealt with everything so far. There'll always be people after me but the immediate threats to me and you are elimated." She had guilt in her eyes and he wondered how many people she had to kill in the last five months.

He cupped her cheek and brushed his thumb over it. "Hey, whatever you did, you did it to survive. There's no shame in that." He kissed her hoping it would push the dark thoughts out of her mind. Maybe he should care that his girlfriend had killed but he didn't. She did what she had to do and he knew that the people who were after here weren't the good guys or they would have left her alone.

"Any leads on Bucky?"

"No" He buried his face in her hair and breathed in her heavenly smell.

"You'll find him. I know you will." She said it with so much conviction that he believed her.

The bathroom door opened and Sam got freshly showered out. "It's good to see you, Natasha."

"Likewise. Thank you for looking out for him."

Sam smiled. "No problem. But I'm glad you're here now. Dude was moping the whole time after his girlfriend."

"Really?" Nat looked with an amused expression at him.

"Don't sound so surprised." He pecked her lips. "You know I'm crazy about you."

She beamed happily at him and there was a light blush on her cheeks. "I know the feeling."

"Do I smell food?" Sam sniffed around the room.

"Yup." She pointed under the coffee table and there were three McDonalds bags. "I thought you boys might be hungry. But it's probably cold by now."

Sam grabbed a bag and stuffed a burger into his mouth. "Who cares."

They ate and told Natasha about their failures of tracking down Bucky and she sat the whole time on his lap. It was insane how much he missed being physically close to her. He brushed his hand over her back and shoved fries with his other hand into his mouth.

"So we're going to Romania next?" Natasha asked with the straw of her coke still in her mouth. Watching her suck on it did things to him. He cursed himself for having joined rooms with Sam, there would be no way that Sam wouldn't hear what was going on if they had sex in Steve's room.

Sam nodded and flushed his food with his soda down. "I hope you're better at this than we are. I don't even think we could find Waldo."

Natasha laughed and her finger tips danced over the back of his neck. He would probably be a bad friend to Sam if he hauled Nat over his shoulder and carried her to his room to fuck her senseless. Funny how tired he was half an hour ago and now he had the energy to make love to her for hours.

"Bucky is probably confused and it's more likely that recently wiped memories are coming back before the ones he made as himself. Maybe we should go to Odessa if we won't find anything in Romania. I was the last one who saw the Winter Soldier before DC. Maybe he'll go to Odessa." He moved his hand over her hip where Bucky shot her.

"Okay, I'm heading to bed now." Sam announced and got up. "Please try to keep it down. I don't want to hear Captain America's sex noises."

Steve felt how his cheeks got warm and looked at Natasha who had an innocent expression on her face. She pulled something out of her duffel bag and held it out to Sam.

Sam grabbed it and laughed. "Noise-cancelling headphones. I'm impressed, woman." With that he left to go to his room on the other side of the living lounge.

"You think about everything." He slipped his hand under her shirt and she shivered.

"I hope you're not too tired. We have to make up for five sex-less months." She gave him a dirty kiss that went straight to his groin. "You have no idea how horny I am, Rogers."

"Believe me I know." He had been craving her for months. "But I have to shower first. I probably reek."

"Then let's shower together. " She whispered huskily in his ear and bit his earlope.

He was pretty sure that they broke some kind of record with the amount of sex they had that night. He really hoped Sam's headphones worked because they weren't exactly quiet with their screaming and moaning and the bed banging against the wall. Sated and deeply satisfied they fell asleep in the early morning hours in each other's arms.

* * *

A loud bang on the door and Sam shouting that he would get breakfast woke her up. Natasha was a bit disoriented but when two strong arms tightened their hold on her she remembered that she was with Steve again and would stay with him now. She hunted those down who would want her dead for what she did when she worked for the KGB and took care of them. She probably added more red to her ledger but she knew that if they woud find out that she was in a relationship with Captain America, they would come after him to hurt her. And she would do anything to protect him and keep him safe.

She snuggled closer to him and Steve pressed soft kisses on her neck and shoulder. "Morning, Nat. I can't believe we're finally in the same room again."

She turned around in his arms and kissed him deeply. "I know. It was like a part of me was missing in the last months. I never felt like this before." She straddled his waist. "How long do you think Sam will be gone?"

Steve laughed and grabbed her ass with his hands. He would never admit to her but he was such an ass man. "Not that long. Half an hour tops."

"Well, then we better get this show to the shower." She leaned down to kiss him before she got out of bed and walked to the door. "You coming or not?"

He got so fast out of bed that she laughed and by the time Sam was back with breakfast they were both showered, dressed and satisfied.

After breakfast they left Prague and got on their way to Romania. She knew from contacts that HYDRA was active there and influenced Romanian's financial crisis to gain control over the country. There were rumours about human guinea pigs for enhancement research both in Romania and its neighbour country Sokovia. Maybe if they didn't find Steve's friend there, they could at least find more info about his brainwashing and his arm. Romania wasn't that far away from the Alps, there was a chance they brought him to that HYDRA facility to "treat" him.

She didn't tell Steve all about this because she didn't want to get his hopes up. Stark got them transport to the country and Steve gripped her hand tight during the whole flight. She looked at Sam and could see how worried he was. She was worried too. She knew how much the guilt ate Steve up and she prayed that it wouldn't destroy him.

"Kate's real name is Sharon." Steve suddenly said into the silence. They were currently over Hungary.

"And her last name is Carter." He continued.

Oh boy. She didn't know that any of Peggy's relatives had worked at SHIELD. "Is she her granddaughter?"

Steve shook his head. "No, great-niece. I ran into her when I visited Peggy to tell her that I would go after Bucky." He looked at her. "I don't think it's a coincidence Fury chose her as my bodyguard."

"Man, that's weird." Sam commented.

"Fury probably wanted to set you up with her." She wouldn't put it past him.

Steve smiled at her sheepishly. "Well, he could have saved himself that energy. I was pretty much into you from the moment you jump off my shield in New York."

She rolled at her eyes at him but was secretly pleased with his answer. There were still voices in her head that told her that Steve deserved someone better than her. Kate, no _Sharon_ probably didn't kill 31 people in the last months.

The HYDRA base in Ploiești was indeed still active and the three of them managed to take it down within an hour. She missed fighting along side Steve. And he looked so good in the suit that Stark designed. It looked so much better than the spandex version from Coulson's wet dreams (did Coulson know that she was banging Steve? He would be so jealous!) but she had to admit that she missed his SHIELD stealth suit a bit.

There were prisoners who HYDRA experimented on and they alerted local authorities to help those people. There were even a few teenagers, it was horrible. Barnes wasn't here but the files about him where gone. HYDRA had everything catalogued and when they went to the file cabinet where the Winter Soldier files were stored, the drawer was empty. Every other file was still here.

"Do you think...?" Steve gave her a hopeful look.

"It's possible. It appears to be the only thing missing and so far you are the only one looking for him. And if you don't have it..."

"He might have it." He concluded. "How long do you think the file is gone?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Hard to tell. Bucky knows how to sneak in and out without anyone noticing. And since the Winter Soldier isn't an asset to HYDRA anymore, I don't think they were very interested in the files." She took a closer look at the file cabinet. "There's dust on it. He was probably here at least a week ago."

Steve's face fell. "And now he could be anywhere." He smashed his fist on the cabinet and left an impressive dent. "Sorry."

"Shh, it's okay." She took his hand and carefully slid his glove off to check his hand. Nothing seemed to be broken. She kissed his knuckles and gave him his glove back. "I'm sorry we're too late."

He looked at the ceiling and sighed. She wrapped her arms around his middle and rested her face into his chest and the star on his uniform pressed into her cheek. "At least I know that he's out there and looking for answers. This is the closest we got to him so far."

They left the HYDRA base with Sam when the local police arrived and watched hidden in the woods how they arrested the HYDRA agents.

* * *

They spent a few days in Bucharest and seached the internet and dark web for sightings of the Winter Soldier but nothing came up. Bucky was good at what he was doing. Steve had the suspicion that he knew that he was looking for him. Natasha suggested going to Odessa again and while he didn't want her to go back to a place where she almost died, the hope of getting closer to Bucky outweighed that.

Sam's sister was getting into labor and he flew back to DC to be there for the birth of his nephew.

He and Natasha drove the eight hours to Odessa and Nat hacked into the security cams of the city to run facial recognition. But it didn't look like Bucky had been in Odessa in the last months. They asked around but no one knew anything that could help them.

"Sorry this was a bust." Natasha said to him after they went to bed in the small hotel they were staying at.

He pulled her against his chest and let his finger run through her brown hair. "It was a good hunch. He might still come to Odessa."

"So where are we going to next?" She kissed his chest. "Or do you wanna stay here for some time?"

"I don't know." He admitted. "I really don't know what to do."

Both their phones rang at that moment. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and checked it. It was a text from Tony.

 _Banner and I might know how to locate Loki's scepter. Come back to New York as soon as possible._

"I think we got the same text." Natasha looked up from her phone. "I guess that answers the question about where we're going next."

"Yeah."

Hopefully tracking and retaking Loki's scepter would be a success. He could use a win for a change. Bucky would still be there after this mission.


	27. Chapter 27

_For some reasons recent reviews don't show up but I can see them in my email notifications, so keep sending them. They make me happy and motivate me:)_

 _We are now entering AOU but there will be changes in the plot. One of the main ones is of course that there will be no BrucexNat because that is a disgrace to human kind and I fucking hate Joss Whedon. (Did you read his script for Wonder Woman?! The guy is so disgusting)_

* * *

Chapter 27

"Shit" Stark yelled over the comms.

"Language" Steve warned and he could hear Nat chuckling. "JARVIS, what's the view from upstairs."

They were in Sokovia hunting Loki's scepter that got into the hands of HYDRA. Of course it fucking did. It was like HYDRA was fucking everywhere now.

They were fighting against soldiers who tried to stop them from entering the fortress where the scepter was located. He was driving through the forest on a new bike taking out the soldiers in his way to the fortress.

"Wait a second. No one else is going to deal with the fact that Cap just said "language"?" Tony asked and Clint laughed.

"I know." He rolled his eyes and threw his bike at a truck full of soldiers."It just slipped out."

He heard Natasha scream Clint's name. Before he could ask what happened something knocked him over and he barely managed to land on his feet. "We have an enhanced in the field."

"What's with Barton?"

"He got hit." Natasha answered and Thor offered to take him back to the quinjet.

He fought off a new set of soldiers coming his way. They were probably a distraction so HYDRA could get away with the scepter. "Tony, we really need to get inside!"

"Yeah, yeah. Working on it."

"We're back at the jet." Thor informed them. "Find that scepter!"

"And for gosh's sake watch your language!" Tony replied fakely enraged.

"That's not gonna go away anytime soon." He groaned and ran towards the fortress knocking out everyone getting into his way.

"Nope! You can count on that." Natasha's voice full of amusement."We're locked down out here."

"Then start the lullaby." He ordered and got through the gate of the fortress. Tony and Bruce told them before they left for Sokovia that Bruce's ex-girlfriend recorded some kind of lullaby that calmed the Hulk down and helped Banner to turn into himself. He heard how the lullaby was now echoing through the forest.

He raided the fortress and Tony told him over the comms that he got the scepter. Now they only needed to find Struck who was the leader of the European HYDRA. Did he maybe know something about Bucky? He shook his head. Finding out what HYDRA had done with the scepter was more important.

He turned around a corner and there he was. "Baron von Strucker. HYDRA's number one thug." He said with venom in his voice.

"Technically, I'm a thug for SHIELD."

"Well then technically you're unemployed. What did you do with the scepter?"

Strucker smiled and it made him uneasy. "Don't worry, I know when I'm beat. You'll mention how I cooperated, I hope."

The fucking nerve." Sure, I put it right under illegal human experimentation."

He suddenly got knocked down and saw a woman before the double door shut."We have a second enhanced. Female. Do not engage!" He got back up to his feet and eyed Strucker. "How many are they?"

"You have to be faster than..."

He really had enough of this fella and kicked his shield up to knock him out."Guys, I got Strucker."

They handed Strucker and the rest of HYDRA over to the Sokovian authorities and left with Loki's scepter on board. Tony was talking to Bruce and Thor while Nat was hooking Clint on fluids.

He walked over to them."How is he?"

" _He_ is doing okay for a Swiss cheese." Clint replied and Natasha scoffed at him.

"Dr. Cho is coming from Seoul and according to Tony and Bruce she can make Clint as good as new." Natasha turned to him and explained. Right, wasn't that the same doctor who could remove her scars?

He let Clint and Nat have some alone time, they hadn't seen each other in months and joined Thor and Tony who are looking at the box that stored the scepter.

"It feels good, yeah? I mean, you've been after this thing since SHIELD collapsed" Tony said to Thor."Not that I haven't enjoyed our little raiding parties, but..."

The two of them had been searching for the scepter since it got stolen. "No but this...brings it to a close."

"As soon as we find out what else this has been used for. I don't just mean weapons. Since when is Strucker capable of human enhancement?" Steve wanted to know. He had to think about Bucky. What could HYDRA do to people with something this powerful?

"Banner and I'll give it a go before it goes back to Asgard. Is that cool with you?" Tony asked Thor and he nodded, "I mean, just a few days until the farewell party. You're staying right?"

Thor nodded again."Yes, yes, of course. A victory should be honored with revels."

"Yeah. Who doesn't love revels. Captain?"

"Hopefully this puts an end to the Chitauri and HYDRA, so. Yes, revels." He agreed. After the last months he could use some fun with friends. And he knew that Nat loved parties and Tony's vodka. Okay, she mostly loved his vodka.

* * *

The party was two days after they secured Loki's scepter. Before that Tony and Bruce were pratically locked into their lab and Thor was out visiting his friend Darcy who had a job in Manhattan. Clint was stuck under the cradle and Hill managed to identify the two enhanced but they were gone for the moment. Since there was nothing they could do for now Steve took Nat to Brooklyn and showed her places that meant something to him. He secretly dreamed about moving back to Brooklyn but he didn't know what she thought about living here.

"Nat?" They were sitting under a tree in Prospect Park watching the people around them. Natasha was sitting between his legs and leaning against his chest.

"Yeah?"

"Where are we gonna live?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "We can live anywhere. But New York would probably be the best choice. I lived here before DC."

"You think you would like it in Brooklyn?"

She looked up at him. "I don't care in which part of the city I live as long as we live together." She smirked at him. "You sure you're hipster enough for Brooklyn?"

He rolled his eyes and leaned down to kiss her. "You're cool enough for the both of us."

* * *

He invited Sam to the party so he could meet the rest of the Avengers. They were walking up the stairs in Tony's party penthouse (yes that's the official name).

"How's your sister?"

"Good." They stopped at the handrail and looked over the party. Natasha was talking to Tony, Thor, Maria and Rhodey at the bar. Sam pulled his phone out and showed him a picture of his nephew. " Isn't he adorable? He clearly got his uncle's good looks."

He rolled his eyes at him and smiled. The kid was really lucky to have Sam as his uncle. "You got a plan for our next trip,Cap?"

"I'm thinking about staying in New York for a while." He admitted. "I have the feeling that Bucky doesn't want to be found right now. And I can't drag you away from your life much longer. Your family needs you. And your veterans."

"I said I would help Captain America and-"

"I know." He interrupted Sam. "And I apprechappreciateiate your friendship and what you've done for me. But it's time for a pause. JARVIS is looking for Bucky on every cam around the world and if he shows up, we'll go after him." He looked down at Natasha who left the group at the bar and seemed to be walking to the stairs. "It's time to start living."

Sam followed his gaze and smirked. "You do what you think it's right. I'm gonna buy some ladies drinks since Tess dumped me."

Natasha was suddenly behind Sam. "The drinks are for free."

"Don't rain on my parade, Widow." He quipped and left.

"You enjoying yourself, soldier?" She placed her hand on his bicep and gave him a coy smile. They hadn't told the rest of the Avengers yet that they were a couple and he wasn't sure how much PDA she wanted to show at a party.

"Now I do since the company got so much better."

"Don't let Sam hear that." She chided him and placed both hands to rest on his chest. Her hands moved up to his collar.

"Natasha?" He thought that she was about to kiss him but he needed to know that she was totally okay with people seeing them. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I'm at a party and I want to kiss my boyfriend. That's what normal couples do, isn't it? And we should try to be normal from time to time." She grabbed the collar of his dress shirt (Natasha chose that one for him to wear) and pulled him down.

He smiled at her and pressed his lips against hers. He wrapped his arms around her waist to press her closer to him.

"OH MY GOD! Do you see what I'm seeing?" Tony couldn't believe his eyes and unconsciously grabbed Thor's peck. Thor raised his eyebrow at Stark's hand on his chest and then looked where he was pointing at with his other hand. Natasha and Steve were kissing. Thor had to smile. They were a good match and would surely be happy for many years to come. He actually thought about setting them up before.

Maria smirked at Starks's hand that was still on Thor's chest and turned around to see what got Tony so shocked. It was only Natasha and Rogers kissing. "You didn't know?"

"You did?!" Tony exclaimed and realized that he was pretty much feeling up Thor and removed his hand.

"I thought that was common knowledge." She shrugged and then took a sip from her martini.

"You didn't tell me? What did I hire you for if you don't give me all the hot gossip?"

Maria rolled her eyes at that and asked Thor how Dr. Foster was doing. He happily answered her question and Tony pouted like a toddler. She honestly couldn't tell what Pepper saw in that manchild.

* * *

The party guests left and only the Avengers plus Hill and Rhodey were still here and enjoying drinks and each other's company. Unfortunately Stark only wanted to talk about one topic and Steve wondered how long it would take until Nat would pounce off his lap and attack Tony. He gave her 10 minutes tops before she would lose her temper.

"I mean how? And when? Why?" Tony stumbled out and looked with confusion at him and Nat who was snuggled against him in his lap. He was a bit surprised when she chose his lap as her seat but apparantly she didn't care about showing PDA in front of their friends. And who was he to complain? She felt so nice tugged against his body.

" Who made the first move?" Tony looked at him. "If she's holding you against your will blink twice or say nutmeg."

He rolled his eyes. "Stop it!"

Natasha sipped on her beer bottle and was clearly amused but didn't say anything.

"You obviously haven't had sex yet!" Tony said for some reason. What?

"And how would you know that?" Rhodey asked. "That's none of your business"

"Everyone knows black widows kill their mates after sex." Tony pointed at Steve. "And Steve is clearly stil alive. So they haven't done it yet."

He was about to tell him to mind his own fucking business but Natasha beat him to it. "Oh, don't worry. We've done it plenty of times. Like here in your tower. You wanna know where?" She smiled at Tony innocently.

All color lost Tony's face. "Please tell me you're joking." He looked at Steve and he couldn't control his blush. He better not tell him they had sex in the elevator this morning and Nat told JARVIS to delete the footage. "Oh god, the blush on your face tells me enough. I have to sanitize the whole place."

"For what is worth I think you two make a wonderful couple." Thor raised his drink. "To Natasha and Steve."

Everyone joined the toast but Tony still looked shocked and slightly disgusted. Ha!

They eventually dropped the topic and talked about other stuff. He couldn't help but feel happy in this moment. Here he was with his friends drinking and laughing and his girl was sitting in his lap and telling an unflattering story about Clint that had every laughing with tears in their eyes. Clint's annoyance only proved that the story was true.

Clint tried to change the topic and brought up Thor's hammer again. "I still believe it's a trick."

"Yeah,the handle's imprinted, right? Like a security code. "Whosoever is carrying Thor's fingerprints" is, I think, the literal translation?" Tony agreed.

Thor held his hand out and his hammer came flying to him."Yes, well that's, uh, that's a very, very interesting theory. I have a simpler one." He twirled the hammer in his hand. "You are all not worthy."

The room was filled with groans of the others while Thor was grinning at them smugly. Okay, he did manage to move the hammer a bit last time, so he was a bit worthy okay?

Suddenly there was a horrible screeching noise that really hurt in your ears and he placed his hands over Natasha's that already covered her ears to protect her from the noise.

He looked up and there was one robot of Tony's Iron Legion. What was it doing here?

"Worthy... No... How could you be worthy? You're all killers." The robot said with a deep voice he never heard before. Wasn't the Iron Legion monitored and voiced by JARVIS?

He said Tony's name and everyone got up from the couches. Something told him that thing was hostile and ready to attack.

Tony was typing on his tablet." Reboot, Legionnaire OS, we got a buggy suit."

The Legionnaire came closer to them. "There was a terrible noise...and I was tangled in... in...strings. I had to kill the other guy. He was a good guy."

"You killed someone?" He immediately moved in front of Nat to cover her in case of an attack.

"Wouldn't have been my first call. But, down in the real world we're faced with ugly choices."

"Who sent you?" Thor looked ready to attack and he heard how safety catches were released. Probably Nat and Hill. They needed to get Bruce out before he caused a code green.

"I see a suit of armor around the world." That was definitelyTony's voice. Was that why he wanted to look at Loki's scepter?

"Ultron" Bruce breathed out and all heads turned to him. Oh God what did they do?

"In the flesh. Or, no, not yet. Not this...chrysalis. But I'm ready. I'm on a mission." Ultron replied.

"What mission." Nat asked and moved to stand next to him. He resisted the urge to push her behind him again. He knew she could protect herself but her safety was the most important thing to him.

"Peace in our time." Ultron annouched and the Iron Legion broke through the walls and attacked them. Natasha started shooting at them and he saw how Clint grabbed Bruce and hid him behind the bar. All of them were busy fighting the Legion and Tony didn't seem to be able to regain control over them. Thor smashed the robots with his hammer and Clint threw him his shield and he was able to decapitate some Legionnaires. Somehow they managed to get the upper hand and destroyed the Legion.

"That was dramatic! I'm sorry, I know you mean well. You just didn't think it through. You want to protect the world, but you don't want it to change. How is humanity saved if it's not allowed to...evolve? " Ultron picked up one of the dismembered robots. "With these? These puppets? There's only one path to peace: The Avengers' extinction"

Thor threw his hammer and destroyed Ultron's body.

* * *

They relocated to Tony's lab and thankfully no one was hurt by the attack except for some glass splinters in Hills's feet.

Natasha was leaning over a desk and typing on a keyboard. "He's been in everything. Files, surveillance. Probably knows more about us than we know about each other."

"He's in your files, he's in the internet. What if he decides to access something a little more exciting?" Rhodey said.

"Nuclear codes." Maria continued and Rhodey nodded.

"Nukes? He said he wanted us dead." Natasha replied and walked over to Steve to stand beside him. Her presense immediately calmed him down.

He turned his head to her. "He didn't say dead. He said extinct." Was it bad for him as the Avengers' leader that he only thought about her survival right now?

"He also said he killed someone."

"Yeah. JARVIS." Tony showed them the destroyed 3D image of the AI.

"Makes sense. JARVIS is the first line of defense." He knew JARVIS wasn't really really person but he was still a good guy. He didn't deserve this.

Thor suddenly stormed in and grabbed Tony by the throat and lifted him of the ground. Should he interfere? He probably should but he was pretty pissed at Tony and Bruce himself.

"Come on. Use your words, buddy." Tony choked out.

"I have more than enough words to describe you, Stark." Thor seemed to put more pressure on Tony's throat.

Okay, now he definitely should interfere. "Thor! The Legionnaire!" The attack on them was just a distraction so Ultron could take Loki's scepter.

Thor put Stark down. "Trail went cold about a hundred miles out but it's headed north, and it has the scepter. Now we have to retrieve it, again."

Fuck that was not good. They needed to get it back as soon as possible.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

"Steve!" Natasha rolled on her side and looked at him. "That's enough!"

"I'm not doing anything!" They were in bed trying to get some sleep after the Ultron attack. Tomorrow they would need to come up with a plan to stop Ultron. But first they needed to find out what he had planned. Steve stared at the ceiling of their bedroom.

Natasha sat up and leaned against the headboard. "You're thinking too loud."

He sat up as well. "I can't believe they built some murder robot."

"I don't think that was their intention. And it's an AI and not a robot."

He rubbed his palms over his eyes. "Natasha." He was tired and angry and didn't want to start a fight with her. "You know this will end badly, right?"

Ultron posed a big threat to them and the world. Who knew what he wanted to do besides wiping out the Avengers.

She leaned her head on his shoulder. "We'll handle it. We've stopped an alien invasion. We'll fix this too."

He kissed the top of her head. He hoped she was right. "I feel like you're the only one I can really trust."

She laughed. "Now we're really screwed if Captain America only trusts the Black Widow."

They didn't get much sleep last night and he had nightmares about Ultron taking Nat.

* * *

Hill updated him on Ultron. He was pretty busy in the last ten hours and it looked like the teamed up with the Maximoffs. The three together posed an incredibly threat. She showed him a picture of a dead von Strucker in his cell. The killing continued.

He and Maria joined the others who were going through files. He showed them the photo of Strucker's body. "What's this?"

"A message. Ultron killed him."

"And he did a Banksy at the crime scene." He hated it how Tony had to make jokes at the most inappropiate times. All of this was his and Banner's fault.

"This is a smokescreen. Why send a message when you've just given a speech?" Natasha looked up from her laptop.

"Strucker knew something that Ultron doesn't want us to know."

Natasha's eyes were back on the screen. "Yeah, I bet he... Yep. Everything we had on Strucker has been erased."

They went through the paper files they had on Strucker and HYDRA. "The man had a lot of friends."

Tony looked over his shoulder. "Hey, I know that guy." He gave him the photo. "From back in the day. He operates off the African coast, black market arms." Everyone was staring at him. "There are conventions, alright? You meet people, I didn't sell him anything. He was talking about finding something new, a game changer, it was all very "Ahab."

Nat held her hand out and Tony gave her the photo. "I know him too. Ulysesses Klaue. SHIELD tried to capture him but failed. He's obsessed with vibranium and tried to get into Wakanda on countless times."

Steve looked at his shield and then at his fellow Avengers. "Ultron wants to make himself out of vibranium."

"That's just great." Thor muttered and Bruce looked at least guilty.

"We need to find Klaue before Ultron does." Natasha reminded them. "If he gets that vibranium, he's pretty much unkillable."

* * *

Clint and Nat managed to track down Klaue's ship near South Africa. They immediately left to be there before Ultron but he was already there and attacked them. They had to fight the Iron Legion and Klaue's men off.

"The girl tried to warp my mind. Take special care. I doubt a human can keep her at bay. But I am mighty..." The connection broke off and Thor didn't react when he called his name.

He was about to join Stark to deal with the rest of the Iron Legion but then he suddenly got dizzy and wasn't on the ship anymore.

 _He was in a ballroom and wearing a WWII dress uniform. He was back in the 40s. The cameras, the music and the clothes were all from that era. Did the Maximoff girl send him back in time? Could she do that? He had to get back to Nat!_

 _"Steve?" He turned around and Peggy was smiling at him. A young Peggy was smiling at him. "Now we can have our dance, Steve."_

 _She held her hand out to him and he took it. She grinned up to him. "I thought you didn't now how to dance."_

 _He did now because Nat showed him how. He twirled her and Peggy's hair turned from brown to red when she was back in his arms. She looked up and green eyes were looking at him and not brown._

 _"Natasha." Was she here for real? Was any of this real?_

 _"Why are you failing me?" She asked with big eyes._

 _"What? What are you talking about?" Suddenly they weren't in the ballroom anymore but on a battlefield. Natasha wasn't in his arms anymore but standing a few meters before him in her catsuit. A metal arm crushed through her spine and she fell to the ground. Ultron looked at him and then took off. He ran to Nat and craddled her lifeless body against him._

"Cap!" Someone was shaking him. "Hey Steve! Don't make me punch you!" He opened his eyes and looked at Clint. Natasha was standing next to him with her arm over his shoulder. She was pale, sweaty and it seemed like she wasn't really here.

"What happened to her?!"

"The same thing that happened to you. Maximoff. Come on. We have to go. Hulk is going berserk in Johannesburg right now."

* * *

Clint brought them to his farmhouse and everyone except him and Nat were pretty surprised that Clint had a wife and kids. He wanted to meet them for some time now but under different circumstances. Bruce immediately bolted up the stairs to hide from the others. He caused havoc in Johannesburg and Tony could barely stop him. Something told him that Bruce wouldn't be on the team anymore after they've dealt with Ultron.

Cooper and Lila were delighted to meet the Avengers and thankfully didn't notice how off their aunt was. Nat wouldn't really look at him and he couldn't stop picturing her dead body in his arms. Whatever Maximoff did to him felt so real.

Lila looked up to him. She barely reached his waist. "Are you Auntie Nat's boyfriend?"

"Um,yes."

The girl nodded. "Cool. Be nice to her, okay?" She gave him a stern look which looked more cute than threatening.

He wanted to assure her that he would always be nice to her when Tony interrupted them. "Ha, you just got a shovel talk from a little girl."

He rolled his eyes at him and saw how Nat plopped down on the couch and Lila climed onto her lap. Nat began to stroke the girl's hair absently. He needed to talk to her about what she saw.

Thor suddenly stormed out of the house. He gave Nat one last look before he followed him outside. "Thor!"

"I saw something in that dream. I need answers, I won't find them here" With that Thor flew away.

He turned to go back inside but he heard Nat's voice in his head. _Why are you failing me?_ He shook his head to get it out and walked back inside.

Laura Barton was standing in the hallway and smiling at him. "Natasha is taking a shower right now. I'm glad we finally met but..."

"Yeah, could've been under better circumstances." She nodded. "Is she okay?"

"No but she will be. She has you now. I hope you know how much she loves you. I know she's not good at saying it." Laura brushed her hand through her son's hair when he walked past by him.

"I know that. She's...she's the love of my life." He never said that out loud before but Laura had something about her that made him talk.

She smiled brightly at her. "I'm glad she found you." She rested her hand on his arm. "Give her some time. She'll come to you when she's ready to talk about what she saw."

He changed into a t-shirt and jeans in the room he would be sharing with Nat and went outside to chop some wood. She was still under the shower and he needed to distract himself for some time.

Tony joined him. "Thor didn't say where he would go to get his answers?"

"Sometimes my teammates don't tell me things. I was kind of hoping Thor would be the exception besides Natasha."

"Yeah, give him time. We don't know what the Maximoff kid showed him." Looked like Tony decided to ignore the jab at him.

Steve chopped the wood in record time. If he kept going the Bartons had enough wood for a year. " "Earth's Mightiest Heroes." Pulled us apart like cotton candy."

"Seems like you're okay."

"Is that a problem?" He wasn't really okay but it wasn't real what Maximoff showed him. He had the suspicion that what Nat saw was something from her past.

"I don't trust a guy without a dark side. Call me old fashioned." Tony said. Of course he had a dark side. If something happened to Natasha, he would rip the world apart without any guilt.

"Let's just say you haven't seen it yet."

Tony wanted to say something but Laura showed up and asked for his help with a tractor.

Natasha didn't come to him. He didn't know if he was allowed to be hurt by that.

* * *

They were all in the kitchen of the Bartons with Fury who showed up out of nowhere and trying to come up with a plan. He hadn't seen Nick since DC. Banner came to the conclusion that Ultron wanted to evolve and that was a terrible thought. But Nat made a language joke and that lifted his spirit a little bit. Maybe she was already doing better now.

Everyone left to go to bed because early next morning they would leave for Seoul where they suspected Ultron was headed to get a new body.

Natasha was still sitting at the kitchen table and staring into her mug. "What did she show you?"

He walked over to her side and sat down next to her. He took a deep breath. "Your death."

She looked up from the mug and stared at him. "Oh."

He cupped her face and kissed her deeply. She seemed surprised at first but then kissed him back. "Sorry, I just had to kiss you."

She gave him brief smile that didn't quiet reach her eyes. "Never apologize for kissing me."

"What did you see?"

Her gaze fell to the ground. "Everything. She showed me every horrible thing I did. How I killed Liho. The other girls in the Red Room. How I killed them." She looked at him with shame in her eyes. "I once set a hospital on fire. 54 people died."

"I know."

"I'm a monster." She looked to the ground again.

He tilted her chin with his fingers to make her look at him. "No, you're not. You're a victim of brainwashing, abuse and torture. And you overcame that. You are not a monster. You are a hero!"

She didn't really look like she believed him but she nodded nevertheless. "Let's go to bed."

She let him pick her up and carry her to their room for the night. He figured she needed to be close to him as he needed to be close to her.

They crawled under the blankets and Nat wrapped herself around him. "How did I die?" She murmured against his chest. "In your vision?"

"Ultron killed you. My biggest fear is losing you." He admitted and tightened his hold on her.

"You know that wasn't a vision like in showing you the future, right? She just showed you what would make you freeze." She pressed herself even closer to him. "My biggest fear is losing you too."

"I'll do my best to guarantee that our fear doesn't come true." He promised but he knew that if he had to chose between his and her life, he would always choose to save her.

He kissed the top of her head and they both tried to get some sleep.


	29. Chapter 29

_How exactly did Steve and the Maximoffs get back to NY if Clint was before them back?! Did they stumble over another quinjet? They're suddenly in the lab without any explanation. Did Pietro shoulder Steve and Wan and ran over the Atlantic? I know AoU is a freaking mess but that's just a lazy plothole._

* * *

Chapter 29

Ultron took Natasha and there was nothing that he could have done. He was stuck on that fucking train that derailed and threatened to kill hundreds of civilians but the Maximoffs intervened and helped him.

Nat was gone and he feared that he would never see her again. They secured the cradle and the body it was creating but lost Nat because of it. He was on his way back to New York with the Maximoff twins and never felt sicker in his life. She could be tortured in this very moment or Ultron could have already killed her.

What kind of joke was he? He was Captain America and he couldn't even save the woman he loved! It was his fault that she got captured. He was the one who ordered Clint to leave her behind to get the package to safety. Everything Ultron would do to her was his fault.

"Captain Rogers?" The Maximoff girl looked at him with hesitation and sympathy from her seat on the other side of the cargo plane they hijacked to get to Manhattan.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry Ultron took Agent Romanoff." She said and her twin nodded. "We'll help you get her back."

The look in her eyes told him that she knew what Nat meant to him. He wondered how many powers she had. He gave them a tired nod and they remained silent for the rest of the flight.

* * *

The only thing on his mind when they arrived at the Tower was Natasha. They had to find her immediately and save her.

But of course Banner and Stark were already fucking things up again. He had no time for this shit.

"I'm gonna say this once." He warned them when he came to the lab with the twins.

"How about nonce?" Tony shot back. The guy was really testing his patience.

He walked towards him. "Shut it down! We have to find Nat!"

"Don't worry loverboy, Barton's working on that. And the other thing?" He pointed behind him that the cradle. "Nope, not gonna happen."

He felt his blood boiling. Didn't Ultron show that they had no fucking clue how to create these things? "You don't know what you're doing!"

"You do?" Banner pointed at Wanda. "She's not in your head?"

Wanda's face was full of guilt. "I know you're angry."

Bruce snapped at Wanda and Tony attacked Steve and they fought in the lab. He never thought he would ever be in this situation with Stark but he needed to stop him.

Suddeny Thor was there and smashed this hammer on the cradle and the lighting knocked them all off their feet.

That thing emegered out of the cradle and spoke with JARVIS voice. "I'm sorry that was...odd." Was that JARVIS? Didn't JARVIS get killed when this whole nightmare began two days ago?

"Thor? You helped create...this?"

"I had a vision." He explained." A whirlpool that sucks in all hope of life and at it's center is that" He pointed at the stone on the android's forehead. Was that still JARVIS?

"What, the gem?"

"It's the Mind Stone. It's one of the six Infinity Stones, the greatest power in the universe, unparalleled in its destructive capabilities."

Well that just sounded fucking fantastic. "Then why would you bring it here?" He asked furiously and confused.

"Because Stark is right." Thor simply replied and Steve was pretty sure hell froze all over. "The Avengers can't defeat Ultron."

That "thing" came back to them after hovering in front of the windows. "Not alone."

Steve looked at Tony. "Why does he sound like JARVIS?"

"We...we reconfigured JARVIS' matrix to create something new."

He wished Nat was here to shoot Tony in the kneecap. Another Ultron was just what they needed..."I think I've had my fill of new!"

Ultron 2.0 gave him a curious look and tilted his head. "You think I'm a child of Ultron?"

"You're not?!"

He appeared deep in thought."I'm not Ultron. I'm not JARVIS. I am...I am. Call me Vision." He finally concluded." I am on the side of life. Ultron isn't, he will end it all."

"What is he waiting for?"

"You."

"Where?"

Clint chose that moment to join them. "Sokovia. He's got Tasha there too."

Steve's head snapped so fast into Clint's direction that he almost got whiplash. "Is she... How do you know?"

"She sent me a signal so I could track her down."

Natasha was alive and at least able to give them a sign to find her which meant that she was okay, right? He would rip Ultron with his bare hands apart.

"Three minutes. Get what you need." He left to get to the quinjet. If they weren't here in three minutes he would leave without them. Nat needed him.

* * *

Bruce didn't want to come with them to Sokovia but in the end he came with them. He couldn't just help create the problem and then run away no matter what happend in Johannesburg. They needed all the manpower they could get to beat Ultron.

He wanted to search for Nat immediately and it took all his willpower not to run to look for her but they needed to get the people out of the city before they would face Ultron. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach but he knew that she would understand it. As soon as the people were out of danger he would come for her.

The quinjet landed in Sokovia and he told everyone what to do. With the help of the twins and their abilities it should be easier to evacuate the people before the city got destroyed. The ramp of the quinjet lowered down and Natasha was standing in front of them.

"Nat?" He ran down the ramp and crushed his lips against hers and pulled her as close to him as possible. Natasha returned his kiss passionately.

Someone cleared their throat behind them. "Save it for the bedroom." Clint said and walked past by them when they parted. Clint squeezed her hand shortly and then ran towards the town.

Nat smiled at him and his heart didn't feel so heavy anymore. It didn't matter what would happen next, they were together again. Her gaze fell to the twins. "Is that my jacket?!"

"She's with us now." He explained and she arched an eyebrow.

"Still doesn't explain the jacket."

"I'll buy you a new one." Not that she needed one, she had so many.

He told Wanda and Pietro to start evacuating and Tony took off to confront Ultron with Thor and Vision in tow. Bruce stayed in quinjet for now probably hoping they wouldn't need him.

"What about us?" Nat asked him, still in his arms.

"We fight robots." A sentence he never thought he would say. "How are you here now?" He asked while they were running into town.

She scoffed. "Ultron locked me into an cage from the middle ages. Like that rusty thing could hold me. I took off the minute he was gone."

 _That's my girl._ But there was something else on his mind. "Did he...did he hurt you?"

"No, just chewed my ear off with his tell about remodeling the earth."

He sighed in relief. He would have never been able to live with himself if she got hurt.

The first wave of mini Ultrons were coming their ways. "You ready?" He turned to her and she lit her batons up.

"Yeah, it's gonna be fun." She smirked at him and ran towards the robots. He followed her and they sliced their way through them side by side. Maybe something was wrong with him but the way she moved between the robots and destroyed them was just beautiful. She fought so gracefully and he knew that every move of her was lethal and calculating.

He threw his shield to her and she got it out of the body of an Ultron and fought the other one easily with it off. Seeing her with his shield made him drunk on love and pride. She just looked right with it. She tossed it back at him and he caught it and dismembered another robot with it.

He looked around and the area was clear for a moment. He ran to her and cupped her and pressed his lips briefly against her.

She was amused when he pulled away. "What was that for?"

He just grinned at her and threw his shield against a robot that came running towards them behind her back. "Just felt like it."

"Okay, if you two lovebirds are done smooching Thor needs your help on the bridge. It's about to crash down and people are still on it." Tony said cover the comms.

* * *

The city didn't stop flying higher and according to Tony and FRIDAY the only way to stop it would be to destroy it or it would crash down on earth and potentially destroy a big part of East Europe.

He was standing beside Nat and they were looking at the clouds that surrounded them. He couldn't believe they were this high up.

"Is there any other way, Stark?"

"Impact radius is getting bigger every second. We're going to have to make a choice." He replied over the comms. Fuck.

Natasha took his hand. "Steve, these people are going nowhere. If Stark finds a way to blow..."

"Not until everyone is safe." He interrupted her. _Not until you are safe._

"Everyone up here versus everyone down there? There's no math there." She looked at him with pleading eyes.

He loved her more than anything but he also was Captain America and people counted on him. He had to make a decision."I'm not leaving this rock with one civilian on it."

She gave him a small and sad smile. " I didn't say we should leave."

No! She wasn't going to die today. She would live a long life, even without him. " _Nat.."_

Her hold on his hand got stronger. " There's worse ways to go. Where else am I gonna get a view like this?" She paused and his heart shattered into million of pieces. Not, not her! "Steve...I lo-"

"Glad you like the view, Romanoff." Nick Fury's voice was suddenly in his ears. "It's about to get even better." The clouds cleared and a helicarrier came into view.

"Fury, you son of a bitch." Maybe they wouldn't die today. _She_ wouldn't die today.

Fury chuckled. "You kiss Romanoff with that mouth?"

* * *

 _Thank you for your reviews, faves and follows! They make me so happy! Keep'em coming:)_


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Sokovia was lost, Pietro Maximoff was fighting for his life in an OR here on the helicarrier and Bruce Banner was MIA. Natasha couldn't really blame him. He helped create Ultron and destroyed a part of Johannesburg with so much colletaral damage. She didn't know what would happen to Tony because of Ultron, maybe the rich white guy would get away with it but South Africa already announced that they wanted Bruce to get prosecuted. Maybe it was for the best that he was gone.

She was standing in front of the windows of the helicarrier and looking down on Middle Europe. Steve was currently talking to the world council because Fury was still officially dead. Where would the Avengers go from here? Two of them were responsible for the destruction of a whole city and the rest of them didn't even notice that they were building Ultron. She knew how mad Steve still was at Stark and Banner and she didn't think it would change anytime soon. A part of her wanted to leave everything behind and start a new life with Steve somewhere. They could live in Greece and just enjoy the sun, sea and make love all day. But they were both not wired that way. She couldn't turn her back on this world. She still had to wipe out the red in her ledger and Steve would always be Captain America. And she knew that she would never leave his side. She would fight alongside him until the day she died.

The rustling of leather told her that someone was coming her way. Fury.

She hadn't really talked to him since DC. They had fed each other intel in the last months but that was it. She was still hurt that he didn't trust her when SHIELD fell. Steve trusted her immediately and without a doubt and that alone meant so much to her.

Fury was by her side now and looked out of the window. "We can't track Banner in stealth mode. He's off the radar for now."

"What else was he gonna do?"

"Feels good being on a helicarrier again, doesn't it?"

Her loyalty was never with SHIELD. It was with Fury and Clint. And then with Steve. She would follow him into hell without any questions. "Not really." She was done with SHIELD. She hoped they could work as Avengers but maybe after Ultron and Sokovia that wasn't possible anymore. She could freelance with Steve by her side. She had enough assets for both of them to have a nice life and to finance their work. She wasn't Stark rich but she still could provide for her and Steve.

"I'm sorry."

Her eyes grew wide and she looked at Fury who stared out of the window. "For not trusting you to have my back. For thinking that you maybe had something to do with the attempt on my life. And I'm sorry for spying on Rogers. And you." He sighed. "For what it's worth as soon as your time with Steve at his apartment got more...intimate I cut off the access to it."

"You still need to apologize to Steve."

Fury seemed annoyed by that but nodded.

"What do you see in him?" Fury asked her.

"Excuse me?!" She could feel anger raising in her. The way Fury asked her that made it sound like Steve was some guy who was beneath her. She wouldn't be surprised if people asked Steve that because she was totally out of his league but how on earth could someone ask _her_ that. She knew that she was one of Fury's favourites despite his distrust before SHIELD fell but that question was still outrageous.

"He just doesn't seem like the guy you would go for." How on earth would Fury know her type? She didn't think she had one. Before Steve she only slept with guys and all she expected from them was that they were good looking and good in bed. She never loved a man before Steve. Steve was _her_ type. The only man that would ever be her type. "You are a complex person and he's so ... bland. Sees everything in black and white.."

"That's not true and you know it." She did something she never did before when she talked to Fury. She spoke in a low and dangerous voice to him. "Don't talk like that about him ever again. He's a good man. He's better than all of us and you know it. If you ever break his trust again by spying or lying to him, I won't hesitate to use the skills that you praise so highly on you." She felt some dread for speaking to the man she considered a mentor and some kind of father figure but she would not let anyone hurt Steve. She knew how furious and hurt Steve was when he found out that Fury bugged his apartment. A shiver ran down her spine when she thought all the things Fury knew about Steve and her. They told each other a lot of private things even before they got intimate.

She gave Fury one last glare and turned to walk to her old quarters in hopes that Steve was done with the World Council and would wait for her and let her snuggle against him. She really needed a nap and she slept best in his arms.

She heard Fury's chuckle behind her. "I never thought the Black Widow would fall in love with Captain America. I hope he knows how lucky he is."

* * *

Steve wasn't at her quarters when she checked and she was thinking about looking for the Maximoff girl who was probably a mess because her brother was getting surgery because he pushed Clint and a child out of the way and got hit by multiple bullets. Whatever von Strucker did to him helped him survive that hit but he was still in a critical condition. But she didn't go to Wanda in the end because she could still see pieces from the vision she put in her head when she closed her eyes. She thought she could feel Liho's fur against her hands when the guard forced her to strangle her. She wasn't ready to face Wanda yet. She still held a grudge even though she knew Wanda was manipulated by HYDRA and Ultron but she still felt like she would snap at the young woman and she didn't need that on top of worrying for her brother.

Stark joked around with the former SHIELD agents that Fury gathered to help them (she had a feeling that SHIELD wasn't completely gone, she needed to talk with Steve about that) but she could see underneath Tony's facade and knew that he was at a turning point in his life. He felt guilty about what happen and that was dangerous. He had always been easy to manipulate and someone could come along to use that for their advantage. Before Ultron Tony began to build a Avengers facility in Upstate New York and if that project would continue it would probably for the best if Stark wouldn't be an active member of the Avengers anymore. It was about damage control and the world knew who created Ultron. If the Avengers were supposed to keep existing they needed Captain America as their sorely leader but Steve wanted to find his friend. And Clint wanted to stay with his family.

Were would everyone go from here? What would happen to the Avengers? She only knew that she would go with Steve. She could help take down HYDRA and look for Barnes, wiping out Nazis should wipe out some red out her ledger, shouldn't it. She was the last months miserable without Steve. She missed him so much during that time and she didn't want to be without him again if it could be avoided.

She sat down on her cot and got out if her combat boots and catsuit. She didn't have any different clothes with her because the quinjet where everyone had duffel bags stored was gone with Bruce. So she had to slide under the blanket in only her sports bra and panties. She closed her eyes and hoped that she would get some sleep before they were back in the States.

She didn't know how long she slept but when she opened her eyes two strong arms were wrapped around her and someone was breathing into her neck. She tensed for a moment but then recognized Steve's smell and the way his skin felt against hers and closed her eyes again. She wrapped his arms tighter around her and drifted off again.

A hand caressing her cheek woke her up again, She blinked her eyes open and Steve was hovering over her and looking down on her with this fond expression he only had for her.

He smiled at her when her eyes were fully open and kissed her nose. "We're landing in an hour."

She wanted to say it when she thought they were going to die and she still wanted to say it. She knew she was finally able to say it and she knew that he was the only one who she would every say these three words to. "Steve?"

"I let you sleep five more minutes but then you need to get up if wanna shower before the debriefing with the President."

She rolled her eyes at him. He was ruining the moment. She cupped his face in her hands and looked up to him. "Steve." She gave him a small smile. "I.. I love you."

His whole face lit up and she knew she did something right. "I love you too."

She pulled him on top of her and shred both their underwear off. She repeated her love confession when he entered her. He made slowly love to her and she felt like she was in heaven. How could it feel so good every time?

She really, really hoped that the walls on the helicarrier were soundproof but when they met the other Avengers for their video conference with President Eliis to talk about how to handle things she looked at Tony who seemed really uncomfortable and she knew that he was in the room next to them and heard every moan and grunt that came from their quarters. She almost felt bad but a flustered and uncomfortable Tony was really hilarious and sweet Steve didn't make the connection and wondered why Tony acted so weird around them.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

The Avengers were now put on hold. Tony could avoid getting prosecuted by promising to not be an active member of the Avengers. He was still on the team but wasn't allowed to join them on any missions. Not that there were any to begin with. It would take months until the facility in Upstate New York was ready and until then the World Council tried to come up with a concept that would stop them from creating something like Ultron again. The world didn't want them to be on their own since SHIELD wasn't there anymore to supervise them. Even though she heard rumors that SHIELD was still there.

Tony did a lot of press and charity to save his image and make amends. He was a changed man after Sokovia and Natasha had a feeling that Pepper broke up with Tony. Bruce was still MIA and Clint decided to retire to be with his family. He and Laura were trying for a third child. Thor left to find out more of the Infinity Stones and the Maximoffs enrolled with fake identies in college.

The plan was to eventually form the New Avengers with Steve as leader and he wanted her as his second in command. The Maximoffs, Rhodey and Sam were supposed to join the team.

So their job situation wasn't very stable at the moment. But that gave them the time to go look for Barnes whenever there was a lead. But Natasha had to admit that he was really good at not being found. They always came back without Barnes and Steve was in a terrible mood everytime. She tried not to take it personally but it hurt her when he snapped at her in the first days after an unsuccessful search trip.

Besides that their private life was good. They found a big and beautiful apartment in Brookly near Prospect Park and bought it together. It had hardwood flores, a fireplace, an extra room that Steve used as his studio, a guest room and even a little balcony. It was perfect and she spent a lot of time online and in furniture shops to make it homey for them.

They agreed that they would be in HQ(when it was finished and authorized) during the week and spend the weekend at their place in Brooklyn. She loved living with Steve. She could never imagine living with someone before Steve and now she couldn't imagine living without him. Even though his temper tantrums after an unsuccessful search for Barnes were taking its toll on her. She only had so much patience.

* * *

He was tired and annoyed. Another lead on Bucky turned out cold. Sam and he spent four days in Argentina because there were rumors that one doctor who worked on the Winter Soldier lived there and they hoped that Bucky would show up to make him help him with his programming but in the end when they tracked down the doctor he told them that Bucky had already been there a week ago. He missed him by one fucking week!

He wanted to slam the front door shut but remembered that Nat was home and probably asleep at 2 am in the morning. He hung his shield on the wall and walked into the bathroom to change into pyjama pants.

He was frustrated and angry. Why didn't he leave a week earlier for Argentina?! He could have come home with Bucky by his side. But no, he stayed here and looked for a new kitchen with Nat for their apartment. He knew that he was being ridiculous. They only found out about the doctor five days ago and then left immediately.

He got into the bedroom and Nat was sleeping in the middle of the bed curled into a ball. He slid into the bed on his side and Natasha turned into her sleep and curled into his side. He tried to calm down but he was unsuccessful. He had a new home that he shared with the woman he loved and Bucky was out there confused and probably homeless. While he was enjoying his life with Nat, Bucky could be out there fighting for his.

He was a shitty best friend and a shitty boyfriend. He took his temper out on Nat. He knew he was an ass to her after every fruitless search. Even Sam told him to stop being a dick to her. He found out that Bucky was alive almost a year ago and he still hadn't bought him home.

He stared at the ceiling and cursed himself for being such a failure.

Natasha began to stir. "Steve?" She blinked at him sleepily and then smiled when she recognized him. "Hey."

Usually her smile made his heart flutter but he had still the mission in his bones and was in a bad mood. "Not now. Go back to sleep." He said that way too harsh.

Nat frowned and moved away from him to her side of the bed. There was enough room for another person between them now. "Good night." She simply said and pulled the blanket over her shoulders.

He was such an asshole.

He didn't sleep that night and got up at 5 am to take a run through Prospect Park. On a good day he would slip back into bed when he got back and make love to Natasha but he didn't have a good day. Nat seemed to know that because she wasn't still in bed like she usually was when he got home but was already in the kitchen and filling a thermos bottle with coffee.

"Morning." She was standing with her back to him.

He wanted to walk behind her and wrap his arms around her but he just couldn't. "Morning."

"There's still coffee. If you're hungry we got cereal." She walked past by him and stopped in the hallway to get a jacket.

He followed her. "Where are you going?"

"SI. I have a meeting with Pepper." He wondered if Nat would tell Pepper what an ass he's being after he came from his searches home.

"You wanna meet me for lunch somewhere?"

She shouldered her bag. "I think it's better if we do that when you're done being a dick to everyone." She grabbed the door handle.

"Nat, please wait. I know I'm an ass..."

"Look, I get it, okay? I know you're frustrated and hurt that you can't find your best friend but it hurts me how you treat me." She walked out of the door and slammed it behind her. It was probably better that their apartment was the only one on the floor. He didn't want to read in some magazin about Black Widow and Captain America having a fight.

He spent the day in the gym and punched his way through five punching bags. He felt the anger and tension leave his body and wanted to get flowers for Nat on his way home. He needed to find a way to deal with his moods after an unsuccessful search for Bucky. His phone fell out when he got his walled to pay for the flowers and he saw that he had eleven missed calls from Natasha and seven messages that told him to get home immediately. He hastily paid for the flowers and ran to their apartment.

Was she hurt? What happened? Did someone attack her?

He didn't wait for the elevator and sprinted up the stairs to their floor. The apartment door was closed and didn't look damaged. So no one broke in.

He got into the apartment. "Natasha?"

"Guest room!" She shouted back. Why was she in the guest room? They were never in that room.

The door of the guest room was open and Natasha was making the bed. Someone was helping her. The person had broad shoulder and had his back to him. The man turned around and Steve's heart stopped.

"Hi Punk." Bucky gave him a small smile. "Your girl said that I could stay here."

* * *

 _leave a review and tell me what you think:)_


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

He just stared at Bucky whose smile vanished and he seemed nervous. "I hope it's okay I'm here?" He turned around to Natasha. "You said he would be happy."

Natasha shook the pillow and put it back on the bed. "Give him a minute. He's almost one hundred, his brain's not that fast anymore."

"Bucky is a year older than me." He blurted out and Bucky turned to face him again. He finally got out of his shock and walked over to Bucky and hugged him.

"How are you here now?"

"I couldn't run anymore." Bucky simply said when they let go of each other.

He had been in over 25 countries in the last months to find him and then Bucky showed up at his door? It didn't matter now. Bucky was here and safe and it looked like he remembered.

"It's so good to see you again." He was close to crying and Bucky didn't look any better.

"You too, punk. You too."

Natasha walked past by them. "I'm gonna go get some food so you two can cry your man tears without being embarrassed." She gave him a small smile and left the room.

"One minute." He said to Bucky and followed Natasha. She was already in the hallway slipping into shoes and he picked the flowers up from the dresser where he threw it on when he got home.

"I am so sorry for treating you so badly in the last weeks." He gave her the flowers and she smelled them. "I shouldn't have let my anger about not finding Bucky out on you. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I hope you're in a better mood now that he's here?"

He nodded and tilted her head up to kiss her deeply. "I love you, Natasha."

"I love you, too."

She gave him one last peck before she grabbed her wallet and left to get take out and to give him and Bucky some alone time.

He got back to the guest room where Bucky was sitting on the edge of the bed and readjusting the glove on his metal hand. His hair was almost to his shoulders and he had a beard. He didn't look like the Bucky Barnes he knew at all but it was still his Bucky.

"I can't believe you're really here, Bucky." He sat down next to him on the bed. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

Bucky sighed and looked at him. "I know. Sometimes you got really close to me but I wasn't ready. I remembered fractments of you but it wasn't enough to come back."

"I would ha-"

"I know. But my mind was a mess and I didn't want to put you in any danger. I almost killed you!" He was agitated. "I did so many horrible things!"

He grabbed his arm to make him look at him. "That wasn't your fault! They made you do those things!"

"I'm sorry for DC." Bucky said and then had a little smile on his face. "Your girl said that if I do that to you again she would put a bullet in my head. I like her."

He wanted to apologize for Nat but he had wanted to kill the guy who shot her in Philadelphia as well and Bucky also shot her. "If you shoot Nat again, we're gonna have a problem!"

Bucky seemed confused. "You shot her in the shoulder in DC and a few years ago in Odessa." He explained to him.

"Oh god. I'm sorry. And she just lets me into your apartment?!"

Steve smirked. "She's the Black Widow. If you tried something she would have put you into the ground."

"I can't believe you have a girlfriend!" Bucky grinned at him.

He shoved his shoulder. "Come on!"

"I mean Natasha looks like a supermodel and she goes for you? The annoying punk who starts fights every five minutes?"

"Thanks a lot." He replied dryly. "I know that she's out of my league."

"I'm happy for you that you found someone. She seems like a nice girl."

"She's the best." He said dreamily and Bucky grinned.

"How are you, Bucky?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I have good and bad days. The programming disappeared over time but I still don't remember everything about my life before HYDRA. But I think that I'm in control now and not him."

He thought about Tony and his offer to help Bucky despite the Winter Soldier killing his parents. "I know someone who can help you. Who you can trust. We'll talk to him tomorrow."

* * *

Bucky didn't really want to tell him what he did in the last ten months and he knew that he had to accept that. Steve was just thankful that Bucky was finally home and could heal.

Natasha was longer gone than a normal run for food would take but he knew that she was giving them time to talk.

"Are you gonna stay?" He asked him hesitantly. There was a part of him that expected Bucky to get up and run.

"I don't know. I don't want to cause you and your girlfriend any trouble. I heard about what happened in Sokovia. Harbouring a criminal probably doesn't help your Avengers."

"You're not a criminal!"

Bucky laughed dryly. "Are you sure about that?"

It was scary how much Bucky reminded him of Nat in that moment, They were both victims but blaming themselves for what they were forced to do.

He didn't know how much Natasha might have told Bucky and he didn't want to cross any boundaries. "Nat has been through something familiar. You should talk to her about it."

Bucky nodded. "Yeah, I read those files she dumped on the internet when SHIELD fell."

Natasha came thirty minutes later home with two bags of food and another bag from CVS. She got them burgers, fries and milkshakes.

"I got you some toiletries and a razor. And a scissor if you wanna cut your hair, Bucky." She handed Bucky the bag and he nodded his thanks.

They ate on the floor in the living room and Bucky wanted to know how he and Nat got together and how long they were a couple.

"One year since last Sunday." Nat said between bites.

Fuck! He froze. He was in Argentina and completely forgot about it. And then he came home and treated her like an ass last night. She probably wanted to celebrate with him and he just snapped at her.

"Natasha." He whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She opened her mouth to say something but Buck beat her to it. "You forgot your anniversary?! Your mother is rolling in her grave right now!"

He was surprised that Natasha didn't break up with him. "I am so so sorry! Tell me how to make it up to you and I'll do it!"

She looked briefly at Bucky and then at him. "We'll talk about it later."

She looked back at Bucky and asked him if he wanted her to cut his hair because he looked like a hobo. She acted like nothing happened but he knew that he hurt her deeply. How could he forget their one year anniversary? He didn't even have a gift for her because he completely forgot it. He always thought that if he had a girlfriend one day he would treat her like a queen. He saw how men treated their girlfriends and he always assumed he would make a better boyfriend. But he was just as worse as the rest of them.

After dinner Natasha went with Bucky to the bathroom and cut his hair. He cleaned up in the meantime and tried his best not to eavesdrop on them. Bucky would probably offer Nat to beat him up for forgetting their anniversary.

He could hear laughter out of the bathroom and then a few minutes later they bot came out. Bucky's hair was now a little bit longer than it used to be back in the day and his beard was trimmed. He had to admit that Bucky looked really good and that Nat was really talented at cutting hair.

Bucky smiled at him. "How do I look?"

"Good but you already knew that." He rolled his eyes at his best friend. He still couldn't really believe that Bucky was here and would hopefully stay for good.

Natasha pulled her phone out of her pocket. "I'll text him to ask if he wants to help us." She said to Bucky who nodded.

"Thanks again,Nat."

Bucky called Natasha Nat and she let him? He was the only one who called her that. Clint called her Tasha and the rest Natasha or Romanoff. But Bucky probably didn't know that and just thought that was her nickname.

"Who are you texting? Tony?"

She shook her head while typing on her phone. "No. I have a friend who's a lawyer here in New York and he might help us to sort out Bucky's legal status. As long as that isn't handled, I don't think he should be seen in public or be in contact with the other Avengers." She looked up from her phone. "Tony barely avoided getting put on trial."

She was right. There were probably a lot of people who wanted the Winter Soldier behind bars and Tony was still working on clearing his name after Ultron. He couldn't help them right now. Tony couldn't be affiliated with a wanted criminal.

Nat's phone buzzed. "He'll meet me tomorrow at his law firm in Hell's Kitchen. I'll talk to him and present your case." She said to Bucky.

"Thank you so much for that!" He smiled at her briefly and she returned it.

"I know the place you're in right now. I had SHIELD to deal with that stuff but since it's gone we have to clear your name on our own."

They called it a night shortly after and Bucky went to the guest room but not without giving him a stern look and then nodding his head in Nat's direction. Yeah he already knew that he had some making up to do.

Nat was in the bathroom getting ready for bed and he sat on the edge of the bathtube and watched her put moisturizer on her face.

"Natasha"

He could see in the mirror that she was looking at him. She didn't say anything but nodded for him to continue.

"I'm sorry that I forgot our anniversary. And on top of that I was a dick to you in the last few weeks. I am truly sorry for that. I love you so much and then I hurt you. That's not okay. I am so sorry,Nat."

She pulled her shirt over her head and removed her bra and he tried his best to not get aroused at the sight. He realized in that moment that they hadn't had sex in at least two weeks. She bottoned her pyjama top up and then turned around to face him.

"I don't know how to act here, Steve." She sighed and changed into her sleeping shorts.

"What do you mean?"

She sat next to him on the bathtub."Am I allowed to get angry? Is it okay for me to be hurt?" She sighed and pulled her hair out of her ponytail. " We are in a very unique situation. It's not like you're coming home drunk or cheating on me and that's why you forgot it or were in a bad mood. You were looking for your best friend who you thought was dead for seventy years and was actually tortured by Nazis. Giving these circumstances I don't know if I get to be hurt or would that just make me selfish?"

He wanted to touch her but he wasn't sure if she was okay with it. "You have every right to be angry with me. Yes, the thing with Bucky is unique and tragic but that didn't make it okay for me to treat you like that." He brushed his pinky finger against hers. "I promise I'll be a better boyfriend from now on."

She nodded and kissed his cheek. " I forgive you." She got up from the bathtub. "I'll meet you in the bedroom?" She said it without lowering her voice and he knew that she just wanted to sleep tonight. He nodded and got ready for bed.

Natasha was sitting against the headboard and reading something on her tablet. She put it on her nightstand when he came into bed and to his relief she curled herself around him.

"How are you with Bucky being here?"

"I can't really believe that after all these countless searches he just showed up at our door. What did he say by the way when he was at the door?"

"He just asked if Steve Rogers lived here and when you would be back. He didn't want to come in at first but I could persuade him."

He smiled. Natasha always got her way. "Thank you for letting him stay here, Nat."

"Where else was he supposed to go?" She rubbed her cheek against his chest. "And you would have never forgiven me if I sent him away."

He kissed the top of her head. "There is nothing you could do that I wouldn't forgive. I know that you do everything for a reason and I trust you enough to know that you know what you're doing."

"So I guess we can forget sex for a while." She mumbled against his chest.

"What?" Didn't she want to sleep with him anymore because of what happened? Well, he couldn't begrudge her for that.

"Super soldier hearing?!" She chuckled and rubbed her leg over his groin. "I'm sure that he would hear us when we're making love."

He groaned at her movements and stopped her leg with his hand. "Then stop that." He rolled her onto her back. "Tell you what. Once Bucky is settle in, you and I take a trip to Paris. I hear it's very romantic." He winked at her and kissed his way down her body.

Natasha bit into her hand to muffle her sounds while he buried his face between her thighs. He smirked at her attempts to keep quiet but he had the same problem when he sank into her.

He really hoped that Bucky was already asleep or that his enhanced hearing wasn't as good as his own. He owed his girl some pleasure.

* * *

 _FYI: Bucky and Natasha have no shared history in this story_


	33. Chapter 33

_Wrigtheuse, your English is just fine. It's probably way better than my rusty French._

 _As always thank your for your reviews, faves and follows! Keep'em coming:)_

* * *

Chapter 33

After breakfast with Steve and Bucky she left the apartment to get to Hell's Kitchen. She took the subway and wondered on her way to Matt about the things Steve and Bucky would be talking about. What were the topics when you get reunited seventy years later after one was on ice and the other one was a brainwashed assassin? How much has changed? That the Dodgers moved to LA? She knew that Steve pissed that one pretty off.

She checked the house numbers until she found the one Matt texted her.

 _Nelson and Murdock_

 _Attorneys at law_

A woman walked outside the door and she used the chance to get into the building. It wasn't a very fancy one but judging by the cases Matt and his partner took on this was probably all they could afford. It was very admirable that they helped people with little money and she promised herself to write them a generous check for their work so their firm could continue for some time without financial problems.

The door was open and so she just walked in. A blond man was standing with his back to her and Matt was nowhere to be seen.

She coughed. "Excuse me. Is Matt Murdock here? I have an appointment with him."

The man turned around and his eyes widened in surprise. He cleary recognized her."Holy shit! You're the Black Widow! You're an Avenger!"

Another door opened and Matt came out of it. "I think she already knows that, Foggy." He tapped his stick on the floor until he hit her boot. They both knew that he knew exactly where she was standing and she was a bit annoyed that he hit her designer boots with his stick.

"Natasha, how nice to see you." He laughed a little. "Well you know that I mean. I'm sure you look lovely. This is my partner Foggy Nelson."

She offered Nelson her hand. "What an unusual name." She commented. Who the fuck names their kid Foggy?!

He took her hand and she could feel his sweat against her palm. She could tell that he was both excited and afraid to meet her. "It's a nickname. My actual name is Franklin. Not that that's much better." He laughed nervously and shook her hand way too long. He released it with a blush and then turned to Matt. "How come you never told me you know an Avenger?!"

"So you ask me to get you an autograph? No thank you!"

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Nelson." She gave him sly smile and Nelson blushed again.

"Is it okay if Foggy attends our meeting?" Matt asked.

She eyed Foggy carefully. She didn't know him but she also figured that getting Bucky legally cleared was probably a lot of work for one lawyer and Matt could use the help.

Matt must have sensed what was going on through her head. "You can trust him."

She smiled innocently at Nelson. "That better be true or he'll regret it."

Nelson gulped nervously and followed her and Matt to his office.

"So what is this about, Natasha? Your texts were a bit cryptic."

She already talked to Steve and Bucky and they both allowed her to reveal anything she had to to help Bucky. "You remember the fall of SHIELD?"

They both nodded.

"You heard that Director Fury was assassinated and that Captain Rogers was seriously hurt in combat?"

"Yeah." Nelson played with his pen while taking notes. She hoped for him that he knew that no one besides them could ever see them. "Didn't the Frost...no the Winter Soldier do that? Wasn't that his name?"

"Yes the Winter Soldier." She confirmed. "Did you had Captain America in history in school?"

They nodded.

"Do you remember his best friend?"

Matt looked like he was putting the pieces together. "Sergeant Barnes?"

"Yup." Now she was the one who nodded. "They are the same person. The Winter Soldier is Bucky Barnes. And I need you two to help him so he won't get prosecuted."

"What? How's he still alive?""Nelson stared at him. "What? He's a terrorist!"

"No, he's not." She corrected him. Of course a civilian would think that. "He was a puppet of HYDRA. They experimented on him and kept him on cryo when he wasn't needed. They brainwashed him. Everything he did in the last seventy years was not done out of his free will."

"Why do you want to help him, Natasha?" Matt asked and she knew that he was listening to her heartbeat to catch a lie. But he also told her that she was the one person where he couldn't tell if she was lying or not. She was quite proud of that fact. She didn't want to tell them that she was mostly doing it because Bucky was her boyfriend's best friend.

So she told them a half-truth. "I know what's like to be turned into a weapon. To be forced to do things a person would normally never do. I was given a chance a decade ago and now I want to do the same for Barnes."

Matt was quiet but then he nodded. "Okay, we'll help you. Do you currently know where Barnes is?"

Last time I saw him he was on my couch talking to my boyfriend. "Yes, but I rather not tell you for now."

Nelson seemed like he wanted to object but Matt nodded. "Okay."

She opened her purse to get her checkbook out. "I'll send you copies of the files I have on Barnes in the next days." She placed the book on the desk and wrote a number down and signed it. She ripped the check off and handed it to Nelson. "I hope that covers your expenses for now?"

Nelson looked at the check and gulped. "Um, yes. It does, Miss Romanoff."

She smiled and got up. "You have my number, Matt. I can expect that his case will be your priority?"

"Of course."

Now she had to show her last ace. If Nelson was already freaking out about meeting her, how would he react if she let another name drop. "Excellent. Captain America counts on you to help him fix this."

Nelson's jaw basically dropped to the floor and even Matt seemed a bit starstruck. She snickered to herself and wished them a nice day.

* * *

She needed to call in another favour. A favour that she was actually saving for herself if she would get into trouble, well more trouble than usual and needed a way out.

She took a cab to midtown and waited outside Maria Hill's spinning class for her. While most people took Sundays off Hill took Wednesday off. God knew why. She did it when she worked at SHIELD and she was still doing it now working for Stark. Even though they all knew that she was still working on the side for Fury. Tony actually asked Natasha if she was still working for Fury as well and was pretty suprised when she said no.

The door opened and women walked out. She looked inside and saw Hill drinking from her water bottle and talking to someone. Maria looked into her direction and spotted her. She waved at her and Maria rolled her eyes, grabbed her bottle and walked towards her.

"Why do I have the feeling I won't like what you're saying next." Maria greeted her.

"Hello to you too." She smirked and handed her a towel. "Didn't think this would be your thing." She looked around the gym. They were both agents, both killers, they didn't need a fancy gym with cucumber water and house music. She liked the old gym that Steve went to before the invasion and now trained in again.

Maria grinned. "Stark pays for it. One of the very few perks of working for him." She walked over to a bar ( was is really a bar though? She doubt they were serving alcohol there) and came back with two shots of something pink. "Here. Try it. It energises you."

The only thing that belonged into shot glasses was alcohol! She eyed the glass supisciouly but gulped it down. "Tastes articificial."

Maria shrugged her shoulders and drank hers. "I like it." She threw the plastic cup into a trash can. "Give me ten minutes and then we can talk about what you want." She looked at her with amusement. "You want something right, Romanoff?"

"You know me so well."

A freshly showered Hill with wet hair in a ponytail appeared exactly nine minutes later and announced that she should buy her coffee. Natasha rolled her eyes and walked with her to the next Starbucks. It was full and people wouldn't listen to their conversation because they were too endulged with themselves. She payed for their order and followed Maria into a corner away from the windows.

The brunette played with the foam of her latte. "So what do you want, Natasha?"

"Straight to business, I like that about you." She pulled a piece of her muffin out. "It's about Barnes."

Maria looked up from her cup and raised an eyebrow. "Then why are you here and not Rogers?"

"He doesn't know I'm talking about him to you."

"Okay." She nodded. "What about Barnes?"

"I need you to find out how much the agencies have on him and what they plan to do with him." She grabbed Maria's hand to emphasize her request. "I know you're still well contacted and I need you to use that without drawing attention to it."

"Why now? Why not right after we found out who the Winter Soldier really is?"

She let go of Maria's hand and lifted her eyebrows.

" _Oh."_

"Yeah."

"Rogers must be over the moon."

"He is and I want him to stay that way. But I guess that the number of people who want Barnes behind bars is even higher than the number of people who want me in a cell for eternity."

If Matt's legal actions would be fruitless she had to come up with another plan to keep Bucky out of prison. If she knew what the agencies around the world planned for him she could use that as leverage. Force them to pardon him in exchange for keeping quiet about what they had planned for a beloved WWII war hero who was the best friend of Captain America and got brainwashed and tortured by evil Nazis. That was her plan from the beginning but she knew that Steve would rather go the legal way to clear Bucky's name.

Maria tapped her spoon against the saucer. "I take it that's for Pakistan? Once I get your intel, we're even?"

She nodded and Maria seemed satisfied. "Consider it done. But it could take some time to get everything."

* * *

She felt like cooking something for the three of them and made a short trip to the Whole Foods on her way home. Funny how she lived alone for years and now she was living with her boyfriend and his best friend. Maybe she was getting soft but for the first time in her life that thought didn't bother her. Maybe it was a good thing that she was changing.

She bought everything she needed for lasagna and got two pints of ice cream as well as dessert. She was greeted by laughter when she unlocked the front door. She was almost jealous that Bucky already had someone after he deflected. It took her months until she remotely trusted Clint, she kind of expected him to kill her at every given moment because that was what she would have deserved.

She walked by the living room on her way to the kitchen to drop her groceries there and Steve and Bucky were sitting on the floor and playing cards.

"Hi boys."

Bucky gave her a quick nod and Steve got up smiling and walked over to her and kissed her. "Hi, doll."

He took the shopping bags out of her hands and followed her to the kitchen and peaked inside them. "What do you got?"

"I'm making lasagna." She explained and began to unpack her purchase.

"You don't have to cook, Nat." Steve reminded her and grabbed a chocolate bar out of her shopping bag.

"I know but I was in the mood for it." She looked in the cupboard for two baking dishes. She needed to make two lasagnas if she wanted to eat as well. Steve and now Bucky ate a lot to keep their metabolism going. Thank god they had enough money to feed them, they spent a lot on food each week.

"And besides when do you think was the last time Bucky had a home-cooked meal?" She asked Steve who was shoving the chocolate bar into his mouth.

"That was probably over seventy years ago." Bucky said from the door frame. "Thank you, Natasha." He looked at Steve who was still eating his bar. "Are you really eating candy before dinner? Your mother would be pulling your ears by now!"

Steve actually stopped eating and his cheeks turned red. "Sorry, Nat."

She laughed and waved him off. "He could eat a whole box of chocolate bars and would still be hungry." She finished another one out of her bag and gave it to Bucky who seemed hesitant but then took it and ate it.

"How did your appointment with that lawyer go?" Steve asked her.

Should she tell him at some point that she and Matt used to hook up? She probably should or Matt would spill something and Steve would get jealous because she didn't tell him. But she would tell him about her thing with Matt another time without Bucky in the room. "He's taking the case on. I'll have to translate the files into braille and then they can go to work."

"He's blind?" Steve asked while Bucky asked at the same if she knew braille.

She answered both questions with a yes. "He's a very good lawyer and he does this job because he actually believes in the whole justice thing. He's the right one for this job."

"Thank you so much, Natasha." Bucky reached over the kitchen counter to squeeze her hand and they were both surprised by it. "Sorry." He mumbled out to her and Steve.

She gave him a brief smile and Steve shook his head slightly. "Don't worry about it, Buck."

She thought about telling them about her meet up with Maria but she decided against it. Maybe she didn't even have to play that card and they could help Bucky without blackmail.

She began to wash the tomatoes and Bucky offered to help her. She turned to Steve who was putting away the rest of the groceries. "Steve?"

"Yup?"

"Did you tell Sam that he doesn't need to look for Bucky anymore?"

Steve smacked his open hand against his forehead. "Fuck! I completely forgot!"

"Language!"

He rolled his eyes at her and ran out the kitchen to probably call Sam.

They were cutting the vegetables for the sauce when Bucky paused to say something. Who would have thought she would make lasagna with the Winter Soldier one day? But then again who would have thought that Captain America would fall in love with _her_? "Natasha?"

She blinked her eyes to get the tears from the onion cutting out. "Yeah?"

"I can't thank you enough for helping me with this. I don't know how I could ever repay you."

She wiped the onion tears with the back of her hand away. "How about you don't shoot me and Steve anymore?"

She meant it as a joke but Bucky's face darkened. "I am truly sorry for that."

"It's okay. I've done some pretty bad things myself that I'm not proud of."

"How did you manage to get out of that darkness?" He leaned against the kitchen counter and looked at her.

She sighed and put the knife down. "I just kept going and took on any mission I could when I was cleared to go in the field." She couldn't stop a smile from appearing on her face. "And when Steve tells you again and again that you are a good person and deserve nice things you eventually start to believe him."

He returned her smile. "Yeah, the punk is quite good at that. I'm really glad that he has you in his life. I always tried to find the right girl for him." He grinned at her and she could now see why so many girls back then fell for him. He was quite charming. "How was I supposed to know the perfect girl hadn't been born yet?" He winked at her and she laughed. She had the feeling that they would get along quite well.


	34. Chapter 34 (rated M)

**The first part of this chapter is rated M!**

* * *

Chapter 34

Today she would deliver the files on Bucky to Matt and his partner. Steve wanted to come with her to meet the men who hopefully would help his best friend. She hadn't told Steve in the last days that she used to hook up with Matt before the invasion. Bucky would stay home since he couldn't been seen outside. He was a bit grumpy about it but they all knew that it was for the best. They didn't need the FBI or CIA to storm the place to arrest Bucky.

She was standing in front of the mirror in her underwear and applying her make up when the bathroom door opened and Steve came in in only his boxerbriefs. She didn't want to be shallow but he truly had the body of a greek god. He came up behind her and brushed her hair away from her neck to place kisses on her skin.

"Hey." He murmured with a deep voice and his hands caressed her stomach and he slid one hand into her panties.

"Hi." She could feel him getting hard and he teased her clit with his fingertips. "Now?"

He nibbled on the skin where her neck met her shoulder and she couldn't stop her moan. She hoped Bucly wasn't close by.

"Why not?" He caught her eyes in the mirror and smirked. Yeah, he knew that she found smug Steve pretty hot.

She turned her head to kiss him and he slid her panties down until they were by her ankles and she stepped out of them. He pulled away from her and she missed his warm body against her skin. She used the time to get rid of her bra and then Steve pressed himself against her and they both moaned when his tip brushed against her folds.

"You drive me crazy." He rutted against her and god it felt so good and he wasn't even inside her yet.

She laughed husikly. "I know the feeling. I want you all the time." She pushed against him to get him inside her.

"Ready?" Even when his mind was lust clouded he still looked out for her. She nodded and he slowly sank into her. He stretched her until he filled her completely. No man could ever compete with him. She almost felt sorry for all the women who would never get to sleep with him. They remained still for a moment to enjoy that they were finally one again. She grabbed the edge of the sink and he began to thrust into her. He slowly built a rhythm and she met everyone of his thrusts eagerly. Steve panted into her ear and she bit on her lip to muffle her sounds. God, he was so good at this. She wanted to do this all day but they had to leave soon to meet with Matt and Nelson.

"Steve." She whimpered and he grunted in reply and gave her a deep thrust that hit her sweet spot. "Fuck...just like that."

The sound of skin slapping and their moans filled the bathroom and she didn't care anymore if Bucky heard them. She was far too gone and could only focus on Steve who had his arm around her waist to lift her off the ground to balance out their height difference and fucked into her. She watched his face in the mirror and he caught her and held eye contact . It made it so much more intense. They really needed to fuck more in front of a mirror. She slipped one hand between her legs to rub on her clit but Steve moved her hand away and pleasured her with his own.

"Nat." He panted into her ear. "Are...are you close?"

"Yes." She managed to breathe out. "Please make me come."

He nodded and pressed down on her clit while he thrust into her hard and deep. White, hot pleasure ran through her veins and she barely registered that Steve spilled into her seconds later.

He gave her a dopey grin in the mirror and tilted her head to kiss her. "I could do this all day." He rasped when he pulled out of her.

"Yeah, me too." She smiled at him and they both got ready.

The smirk on Bucky's face when they came into the kitchen for a quick breakfast told her that he knew exactly what they were doing in the bathroom. She rolled her eyes at him and spread butter on her toast.

* * *

They took the subway to Hell's Kitchen and Steve pressed his body against her to shield her from the other passengers. She wouldn't have like it if a former lover would have done it but she knew that Steve didn't do it because he thought she couldn't deal with weirdos on the subway but because it was in his DNA to protect those he cared for. It was one of the things she loved so much about him. She looked briefly up to him to smile at him and then leaned her face against his chest.

She stopped him before they walked into the building that Matt's firm was in. "I have to tell you something."

"What?" He readjusted the strapes of the bag that contained the files on Bucky's case.

"Matt and I... we had a thing. Two years ago." She admitted and wondered if she should have told him that before she went to Matt to get his help for Bucky.

Steve furrowed his eyebrows. "Does he still have feelings for you?"

She took his hand. "It was never like that between us. No one had any feelings." She cupped his face with her other hand and kissed him. "I just thought you should know. I don't want to keep anything from you."

He smiled and pecked her lips again. "I love you."

"And I love you." Funny how she couldn't say it back a few months ago and now it was like second nature to her. She told him every day that she loved him. Steve held the door for her open and they walked up the stairs to Matt's office. She briefly feared that Matt's superhearing caught the conversation she had outside with her boyfriend but even if he did, who cares? No one was gonna take Steve away from her.

A tall strawberry blonde woman introduced herself as Karen Page and offered them coffee while Matt and Nelson were still in another appointment. She seemed to recognize them but didn't make such a fuss about it like her boss did.

The door opened and Nelson escorted an elderly woman out and then stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted Steve. The woman didn't seem to care or notice who was in the room and left. Nelson was still staring at Steve who stood up to greet him.

"Mr. Nelson?" He offered him his hand. "I'm Steve Rogers. Nice to meet you."

"Yeah." He only replied and shook Steve's hand longer than necessary.

Steve handed him the files over and they followed Nelson back into the office where Matt was waiting for them.

She hadn't told Steve that Matt was running around in a red suit with horns ( the first time she came face to face with Daredevil in his suit she almost fell of a roof because she laughed so much) but Steve wasn't dumb and he would probably figure it out by himself.

Matt stood up and extended his hand. "I didn't know Natasha would bring company."

She saw how Steve opened his mouth but Nelson was faster. "Matt! Captain America is here! I shook his hand!"

Nelson would probably sign up in Coulson's fan club as soon as they left.

"Um, Steve Rogers. Nice to meet you,Mr. Murdock." He took Matt's hand and she could swear that Steve shook his hand harder than nesscary. Boys! Steve had no reason to be jealous.

"Likewise, Captain Rogers." Matt laughed nervously. "Quite the strong handshake you got there."

"Oh, sorry. I sometimes forget how strong I am."

She could barely hide her smirk. He knew exactly how strong he was and he had remarkable control over his strength that he never lost. Not even in the bedroom.

"We'll need a few days to work through the files and work on a strategy." Matt told them. "Are the files already translated?"

"Of course." She replied. She spent the last days in their living room typing on a braille machine.

Matt smirked. "Wouldn't have expected anything else from you."

Steve coughed and asked them if they already knew if Bucky could walk away from this as a free man.

"That's not so easy to predict." Nelson explained. "Technically he did all those things. We could go with unsoundness of mind if we can prove one hundred percent that he was brainwashed that would make him not criminally responsible."

"If you can prove he was brainwashed?!" Steve was indignant and she placed her hand on his knee to calm him down. "What the hell are you implying?"

"Nothing." Matt said calmly. "Most people only know brainwashing from the movies and think it's fake. Our dream goal is to get immunity from the Justice department for Barnes so he doesn't have to go to trail. Do you think Barnes has valuable information on HYDRA that the government could be interested in?"

"He doesn't really talk about that." Steve uttered out. He told her that he tried to talk to Bucky about it but he always blocked his attempts.

"I'll talk to him." She said mostly to Steve. "I know where he's coming from. Maybe he opens up to me."

Steve covered her hand on his knee with his own. Matt raised an eyebrow and she knew that he could probably "see" it in his fireworld. Her first instinct was to pull her hand back but there was no reason to fear that they were made.

"Is it possible to meet Sergeant Barnes soon?"

Steve looked at her and she nodded. "That can be arranged, Matt."

"Good."

Matt and Nelson promised to work through the files and she and Steve promised that they would meet Bucky after they were done.

They had lunch at a bistro in Hell's Kitchen and Steve tried his hardest not to ask her about thing with Matt. It was quite adorable how he asked her different questions clealry hoping that she would tell him about it on her own.

She twirled her spoon around in her pumpkin soup and smirked at him. "Just ask me what you really wanna know."

He looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "What?"

"You wanna know about me and Matt."

"Well yeah." He admitted. "But I'm not sure if I'm allowed to ask. Your past is your own."

"It's okay." It really was. "I met him while I was undercover for SHIELD and we had a thing for a few weeks. When the op ended, we moved on."

"Did he know who you were?"

She wasn't a SHIELD agent anymore so she didn't have to keep things classified anymore. "He was the target of the mission."

"What?" He was confused. "Why was SHIELD interested in a blind lawyer?"

"You heard of the devil of Hell's Kitchen?" She whispered.

Steve's eyes widened. "Seriously?"

"Yup. Freak accident."

"Wow."

"He made my cover and then was pissed because I played him and then well..." She trailed of to spare him the details.

"Have you heard from Tony by the way?" Steve changed the topic and she was thankful for that. She didn't really want to talk about her past flings with him. He was the only man that mattered, the only man who she ever gave her heart to.

She shook her head. "No. Since Pepper broke up with him, he's pretty much locked up in his tower."

"I worry about him."

"Me too. But we have enough with Bucky on our plate right now. And I heard that Rhodey moved into the tower so he's got his best friend."

Steve nodded but seemed to be in deep thought. Tony already had enough problems with cleaning up after Ultron, he couldn't be in contact with the Winter Soldier as she already told Steve a few times.

* * *

Sam was in town and invited himself over for dinner because he wanted to meet Bucky after chasing him around the globe.

It was quite obvious that Sam was scared that Steve didn't want him as his friend anymore and took it out on Bucky who apparently liked to push Sam's buttons. They were both bitching around the whole evening in front of a out of his depth Steve who didn't know how to handle it.

She just leaned back, watched the bitch fight and sipped on her wine. She had a feeling that Sam and Bucky would eventually become good friends. They both had experience in trying to keep Steve out of trouble.

Sam left late to get to his hotel and made Steve promise him to meet him for a run in the morning obviously knowing that Bucky couldn't come along. Bucky cursed Sam in Russian and Natasha had to congratulate his creativity. She cursed Sam in Russian (in her head) because if Steve was out on a run he wouldn't wake up with her to enjoy a round of morning sex.

She was already in their bedroom undressing herself when Steve came in. He flopped back on the bed. "I though that would have went better."

She turned around to face him when she removed her bra and to her satisfaction his gaze landed immediately on her breasts. "They were just marking their territory."

He looked up from her tits. "What?"

"They're both your friends and worry that you replace the one with the other one."

"That's ridiculous. I would never do that."

She laughed and shimmed out of her thong. "I know that."

He had a predatory look in his eyes when they roamed over her body. "Why are we talking about my friends again?"

She straddled his waist. "No idea." She smirked at him and helped him out of his shirt.

Much later that night when they were about to start another round of sex they heard a loud crash that sounded like glass shattering. Steve got of her immediately and she jumped out of bed to snatch her rope and ran out of the bedroom.

Bucky was in the hallway and had a blank look on his face. She got closer to him."Bucky? Sergeant Barnes?"

She reached her hand out to him and he grabbed her and threw her into a cupboard. Steve who now had boxers on tackled Bucky to the ground.

"Buck?!" He held him down. "Snap out of it! It's just us. You're safe!"

She ran back into the background and got the ICER Agent Fitz developed back in the day when SHIELD was still a thing. Bucky threw Steve off of him and looked like he wanted to bolt.

She aimed the gun at him and fired three shots until he went to the ground. "Steve, are you okay?"

He groaned and got up. "Yeah. You?"

"My back hurts a bit." She answered honestly because she didn't want to lie to him. "But besides that I'm fine."

Steve shouldered Bucky and brought him back to the guest room. "What do you think happened?" He asked her when she walked into the room.

"Probably a nightmare that set him back." She looked down at Bucky on the bed. "Same thing happened to me after I got out." She could barely look into Steve's eyes. "There was a reason why most SHIELD agents didn't like me. I killed agents when I had those episodes."

He rested his forehead against hers. "That part of your life is over." He kissed her softly and she sighed into the kiss. "What about him?" Steve nodded into Bucky's direction.

"We get dressed, make coffee and wait until he wakes up. Let's hope he's himself again." She held her ICER up. "If not, he gets shot again."

It looked like they had to go to Tony after all. The two of them were clearly out of their depth.

* * *

 _Thank you for your reviews, faves and follows! They're like hugs and puppies! Keep sending them my way:)_


	35. Chapter 35 (rated M)

**This chapter is rated M!**

* * *

Chapter 35

Bucky woke up in the early hours of the morning and was thankfully himself again. He looked really shocked when Natasha pointed her ICER at him and she only stopped when he told her to.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing." Natasha said and he was surprised that she lied to Bucky.

Bucky raised his eyebrow at her. "I know that's not the truth, Natasha."

She put the ICER on the dresser and rolled her eyes at Bucky. "Fine. You threw me into a shelf and Steve against a wall."

Bucky buried his head in his hands. "Oh god. I am so sorry. I can understand if you want me to leave."

Steve began to panic. Bucky couldn't leave again, he just got him back. "Please don't go, Buck."

He looked up with hesitation and uncertainty in his eyes. "You don't have to leave, Bucky." Nat said and they both looked at her. "What happened last night was nothing, believe me." She patted Bucky on the shoulder and then walked towards the door. "I call Tony."

He nodded at her and she left the room. He sat down next to Bucky on the bed. "I get it if you wanna hit me for attacking your girl."

"Natasha is probably the only one who actually understands what you're going through." He said instead. Nat was more than capable of hitting Bucky herself if she wanted to.

He told Bucky to try to get some sleep and left him alone. Nat was in the kitchen and stretching her legs while taking on the phone to who he assumed was Tony. She thanked him and hang up. She turned around and he walked over to her and pressed his lips on hers. He just needed that in that moment. She seemed to understand and looped her arms around his neck when he lifted her on the kitchen counter. He kissed her until they were both out of breath.

"What did he say?" He ran his hand through her hair.

She yawned and he noticed the dark circles under her eyes. She didn't get any sleep last night. "He sends a car tonight for us. It's best if Bucky stays at the Tower. He wants to check his arm and scan his brain. He thinks that Vision and Wanda with their weird mind stone magic can maybe help ease his mind."

That was probably for the best. The Tower had everything Bucky could possible need and he could check on Tony at the same time. Nat yawned again and he saw how she was fighting to keep her eyes open.

"Okay, time for bed now." He carried her to the bedroom and she was already asleep when he put her gently on the bed. He got the blanket up that they threw off the bed during their lovemaking last night and covered her with it. She rolled herself into the covers and curled into a ball. He smiled at the sight before him and left briefly to cancel his run with Sam and to inform him about Bucky. He got back into the bedroom and crawled under the blankets with her. He spooned her and buried his face into her hair and dozed off.

* * *

Bucky agreed to stay at Tony's Tower and Happy picked them up in the evening so the darkness would give them some anonymity. He seemed collected but Steve knew him too well and saw that he was nervous.

The three of them had dinner with Tony and Rhodey in Tony's penthouse and Bucky thankfully loosened up a bit and even joked around. He wondered if Bucky remembered that he killed Tony's parents. Tony asked him if Bucky did and when he said he didn't know, Tony asked him to not tell Bucky about it to not make things weird. He really had to give Tony probs for treating Bucky so kindly and welcoming him into his home.

Vision was on some kind of journey around the world and was on his way back to New York. Wanda had finals and would come to the Tower next week. With Tony's connections and money he got Wanda and Pietro into Columbia and according to him they were both excellent students.

They went to bed shortly after dinner and Bucky got a room on Steve's floor. They said good night to Bucky and Natasha was already sleeping when he got out of the bathroom. He pulled her against his chest and her smell lured him to sleep.

FRIDAY was monitoring Bucky but thankfully there were no incidents and they all slept through the night.

He was making his way into Nat's pyjama pants the next morning much to her amusement but then Tony's voice echoed through the apartment. "Wakey,wakey. Breakfast is ready and Birdman is here."

He pulled his fingers out of her and Natasha groaned out in frustration. "Seriously?!"

He shared her frustration and licked his fingers clean. Nat watched him with dark eyes and he decided that they could be a little bit late for breakfast. He ripped her pyjamas pants off causing her to laugh and hastily pulled his own pants down to free his hard cock. He settled between her legs and pushed quickly into her.

Natasha cried out and he stopped his movements. "Did I hurt you?" He checked her face for any signs of pain.

She shook her head and wrapped her legs around his waist. "No, no. It felt so good. Keep going." She kicked him with the heel of her foot. "Fuck me."

He growled and pumped his hips into her. She braced her hands against the headboard and met his thrusts. God, she was so hot and tight. He wanted to spend the whole day inside her. Maybe they could try that one day. Didn't he read about something called cockwarming on the internet?

Natasha flipped them and began to move on top of him. He crossed his arms behind his head and watched her move and how he disappeared into her. She bounched on his cock and smiled down at him. She played with herself and came with cry. He flipped them again and fucked her through her orgasm. He couldn't hold his own off anymore and followed her.

They quickly jumped under the shower together and met the others on the common floor.

"Do you have to parade your post-coital glow like that?" Tony complained at the breakfast table.

He tried his best not to blush but probably failed at it. Natasha threw a muffin at Tony and asked Bucky if he slept well.

He grinned at them. Oh no, he already knew he wouldn't like what was coming next. "I'm really enjoying the soundproof walls here."

Sam choked on his coffee and Tony clapped like a seal. He gave Tony a stern look who ignored him.

Bucky wasn't done yet. "I know you didn't get any back in the day but... poor Natasha. Give her a break!" He smirked and bit into his muffin.

Natasha played with her knife between her fingers. She smiled at Bucky innocently. "Keep talking and I make sure YOU never get any ever again." She leaned forward and stabbed the knife in the chair right in front of Bucky's crotch.

Now Sam clapped and laughed like a seal and all color left Bucky's face. He knew that he could count on his girl to got his back. He kissed her temple and poured juice into her glass.

"So what's on deck for today?" Nat asked between sips and gave him a heated look. Maybe he would have more time for her now with Bucky staying at the Tower. He still felt horrible about forgetting their anniversary.

Tony looked at Bucky who pulled the knife out of the chair. "If it's cool with you I would like to take a look at your arm. And Dr. Cho is here to scan your brain."

He nodded. "Thank you, Tony."

He waved him off and bit into the muffin Nat threw at him earlier.

He decided to stay with Bucky during the procedures while Sam offered to go with Nat back to their apartment to grab a few things. She left after breakfast but not before kissing him and used some tongue to make Tony uncomfortable.

"Are they always like this?" Tony asked Bucky with a groan.

"I think it's cute."

He rolled his eyes at both of them and finished his breakfast.

As it turned out Bucky and Tony got along quite well and Tony was really impressed with Buck's metal arm and how it worked. He did a few tests and made a few jokes about his relationship with Nat that he would have never made if she was present.

Dr. Cho checked Bucky's brain and its function and Steve had to admit he had no idea what she was talking about. But what he did get was that Bucky's brain was healthy and had no damage and she was postive that with the right therapy the HYDRA programming could be removed.

Finally good news. He was so scared when Bucky turned into the Winter Soldier again. He feared that he might had lost him for good even though Nat said that set backs were normal. He hoped that one day his best friend could leave HYDRA behind and live his life the way he wanted to.

He watched Bucky through the window in the infirmary where Dr. Cho was doing a general check up on him when Tony showed up besides.

"I can see why he means so much to you." Tony said looking at Bucky and Dr. Cho.

"I'd do the same for you." He meant it. Natasha and Bucky were the most important people in his life but he still cared deeply about his other friends as well.

"I know." Tony sighed and turned to look at him. "Little bit of advice: make sure Natasha is always your top priority."

He felt a pang in his chest. She hadn't been his priority in the last weeks. "Pepper still not talking to you?"

He shook his head. "No. She said she couldn't do this anymore. Not that I can blame her. I'm not the easiest person to be with."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too. So make sure you cherish what you have with her while you have it."

Steve nodded and they both watched the check up through the window. Bucky must have worked his charm because Dr. Cho shook her head and blushed. It was good to see that the old Bucky was still in there.

* * *

He was on his floor with Bucky introducing him to Mario Kart when Nat came back. FRIDAY informed them that she and Sam needed some help to carry the suit cases and they took the elevator down to the garage.

Nat had her back to them and was halfway in the trunk of the SUV. She changed her outfit and was now wearing a jeans skirt and those suede boots that went over the knee. They reminded him of stockings and his mouth watered at the sight. Would it be totally rude to tell Sam and Bucky to get lost so he could fuck her in the trunk of the car? It probably was.

Nat was now climbing into the trunk on all fours and she was really testing his willpower. Bucky snickered beside him. "Turn it down a notch, Romanoff! Steve looks ready to eat you alive."

She looked over her shoulder confused and then smirked when she saw his face. She always told him that she could see on his face when he wanted to have sex. And he really wanted to have sex right now.

She came out of the trunk with a little suit case that he knew contained her beauty products. "Forget it, soldier. I'm meeting Pepper and Maria later at a hip new place. Hence the outfit."

He frowned and she laughed at him. "You're cute when you're frustrated."

Sam pushed a suit case into his arms. "Stop staring at the lady and help us with this. There is no way we're carrying this alone."

The four of them managed to carry the stuff up at once and he really wondered why Nat packed so many bags. He had the suspicion that most of them stored her clothes because she loved fashion and had her own walk in closet at their apartment ( they sacrificed one guest room for it) while he only had a normal closet in their bedroom.

They unpacked the suff and he saw that she took his art supplies and Bucky's journals with her to the Tower. He gave her a light kiss when he spotted his sketchbook and thanked her.

"We don't know how long we'll stay here." She shrugged and put a leather jacket on a hanger.

He pushed her gently against a wall in their closet and cupped her face. "Do you know how amazing you are? Coming here with us even though you don't have to?" He kissed her softly. "I love you so much. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank you so much for helping me with Bucky."

"Bucky is your family and...and you're mine...so..." She trailed off and appeared to be a little bit embarrassed. He brushed his thumb over her lower lip and she closed her eyes.

"Steve." She sighed and he knew that tone too well.

"When do you have to meet Pepper and Hill?"

Her hands went to his belt. "I have to go in half an hour. Better hurry up." She unbuckled his pants and began to stroke his length to get him going. He groaned at the touch and gave her a deep and wet kiss.

She stopped touching him and pulled her skirt up. He lifted her up against the wall and she wrapped her legs around his hips. He moved her panties to the side and pressed into her. Her head fell back against the wall and he kissed her exposed neck. They didn't have too much time so he fucked into her hard and fast. She panted his name over and over again and he could only grunt into her neck in response. Normally he would drag her orgasm out until she begged him to make her come but they didn't have the time for that so instead he rubbed hard on her clit to match his thrusts and she came with a scream. He gave her a few more hard thrusts and then he followed her over the edge. They needed a few moments to catch their breath before he gently put her back on her feet. He grabbed one of his shirts and cleaned her up. He was tempted to go to his knees to lick her clean but then they would never leave this closet and she deserved some time with her girlfriends.

She grinned at him when he looked at her. "What?"

"My lipstick looks good on you."

* * *

He watched movies with the guys and they all watched Sam getting turned down by Dr. Cho when he asked her out. Apparently she was already seeing someone. Sam wasn't disappointed or mad and said that they could still go out as friends sometime.

He was already in bed reading when the door opened and Natasha stumbled into the room. She shushed herself and started to giggle when she saw him.

"Are...are you drunk?" He didn't think that was possible. Nat always claimed that Russians couldn't get drunk.

"What?!" She made a beeline straight for the bed and sat down on her side. "NO!" She giggled again. Her cheeks were rosey and her eyes glassy. She was definitely drunk. It was kinda cute but she would probably have a hangover tomorrow.

She tried to get out of her overknee boots but had no success. "Steeeve?" She whined and plopped dramatically on the bed. "Help?"

He laughed and got out of bed to help her get her shoes off. She pressed her foot against his crotch. "Natasha." He moved her foot away. "Stop that." He didn't know how drunk she was and if she could really consent to sex in her current state.

She pouted but stopped. She sat up again and raised her hands over her head. He helped her out of her shirt and gulped when he saw that she wore a black lace bra underneath it. He looked away when she unclapsed her bra and helped her into her camisole. He got her out of her jeans skirt and slid her sleeping shorts over her legs.

"Thanks." She mumbled and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. She was probably aiming for his lips.

"Did you have fun with the girls?" He asked her while putting her clothes and boots aside so she wouldn't fall over them if she got up during the night.

"Mhm." She crawled up the bed until she reached the headboard to sit against it. "Hill got a box of the good stuff at her place. Stoli right out of Moscow." She tugged on the blankets and looked confused when they didn't move.

"Doll, you're sitting on them."

"Right." She pulled her legs against her upper body and tugged at the blankets again." And we drank the box. Well, Pepper and Maria backed out after two bottles and I drank the rest. Amateurs!" She huffed out and sighed happily when she managed to cover herself with the blanket.

"And how much was the rest?" He got back into bed.

She looked at her fingers and then held two up.

"You drank two bottles of vodka on your own?"

"Relax, I'm Russian." She slured out and poked him with her fingers. "I'm like a supersoldier in that area."

"Jesus, Nat. You could have gotten alcohol poisoning."

She looked offened and pulled the blankets up to her chin. "That's not gen-... generatilly...genentici-...It's not possible!"

She slid down until she was flat on her back. "Make love to me, Steve. I'm horny!"

She was in no state to have sex with him. "Tomorrow, Nat." He got out of bed.

"Where are you going?"

"Getting you water and an aspirin. And a spit bucket."

He came back with it and made her take an aspirin and drink a whole bottle of water. She seemed a bit better after it.

"You wanna know what we talked about?"

"Sure."

"Your dick." She said simply.

"WHAT?!"

"Well not really." She rolled herself into a ball. "Pepper and Maria wanted to know if the serum enhanced everything and how your performance in the bedroom is."

He probably had a full body blush. "And you told them?"

"Of course not!" She pulled the blanket up to her shoulder. "A lady never kisses and tells. But I did make sure that they knew that you are the best sex of my life."

"I am?" He should probably be embarrassed that she talked with her friends about these things but he felt mostly proud and smug right now.

"Yeah." Her eyes fell shut and she snuggled against him. "Will you fuck me tomorrow morning? All the sex talk made me really horny." She whispered sleeply.

She would probably have a major headache the next morning but he went along with it for now. "Of course.""

"Awesome."

She didn't say anthing else and when he checked she was asleep. He told FRIDAY to turn the lights off and watched her sleep for some time until he fell asleep himself.

* * *

 _As always thank you for your feedback!_


	36. Chapter 36 (rated M)

**This chapter is rated M!**

* * *

Chapter 36

She woke up with the worst headache of all time. She once got her head smacked against a metal door and that headache was nothing compared to the one she had now. What was she thinking drinking two full bottles of vodka on her own? And Pepper and Maria didn't drink much of the other two. She really overestimated her tolerance.

She blinked her eyes open and Steve looked at her with a glint in his eyes. Fuck him for being a morning person. And fuck her for drinking so much vodka last night.

Steve's hand moved under her top to caress her waist. "So how do you want me to fuck you?"

"What?" She squinted her eyes at him and he smirked at her.

"You made me promise you to fuck you the next morning."

Just the thought of getting shoved up and down the mattress made her nauseous. "Oh god. Please don't."

Steve laughed and kissed her forehead before he got out of bed. "I'll get you some painkillers and more water."

She pulled the blanket over her head because it was way too bright. Minutes later someone pulled the blanket away and she saw Steve's beautiful face. Why did he have to look so good after waking up. Oh god, did she even remove her make up? She didn't even remember changing into her pyjama.

"Here, doll." He handed her two pills that she swallowed and took the open water bottle he offered her. She gulped everything down and rested her head back onto her pillow.

She barely noticed that Steve put another water bottle on her nightstand before she fell back to sleep.

She woke up a few hours later alone and already felt much better. She was thirsty and emptied the water bottle in two sips. She checked the time and it was 9:39 am. She pulled her robe over her pyjama and checked the living room for Steve and Bucky. Both weren't there. FRIDAY told her that they were with Tony in his lab. Not in the mood for Tony's shenanigans she took a long hot shower and felt like her old self when she was done getting ready.

She remembered that Matt was coming to the Tower for lunch to meet Bucky. Fuck! She wanted to spend the day in sweat pants but left them in her closet and chose to wear leather pants and a simple shirt since that was probably more professional.

FRIDAY informed her that Matt was already here and Steve and Bucky weren't here yet to greet him. Who knew what Tony did in his lab? She walked to the common floor where someone of Tony's staff had already made Matt a coffee. He got up from his chair at the table when she got into the room.

"Natasha." He kissed her cheek and sat down again.

She took a seat on the other side of the table. "Hi Matt."

"Will your friends be joining us soon?"

"I think so. They're with Tony now. Where's your buddy?"

"Court."

She last time she was alone with Matt was over a year ago when she tried to get into his pants to distract herself from Steve and her feelings for him that she desperately had tried to ignore back then. She was amazed how much she changed during the last year. She couldn't stop telling Steve how much she loved him now and just the thought of another man touching her disgusted her.

Matt smiled kindly at her. "It's nice."

"What?"

He shook his head a little bit and his smile got wider. "That you are in a real relationship."

"That obvious?"

He chuckled. "Well, I am more observant than most people. Being with Captain America must be overwhelming. He's so good..."

"And I am not?"

"No! But people like us have a darkness that others don't have."

"He makes that darkness go away." She admitted quietly. "He made me whole."

"I'm happy for you. You deserve that more than anyone, Natasha."

"There is someone out there who will do that for you too."

He laughed an ugly laugh. "No, there isn't."

She wanted to say something but the elevator doors opened and Steve and Bucky walked out. Her heart did that little jump it did every time she saw her man and she knew that Matt heard it. If _she_ could find someone who would love her without any bounds and conditons so could he.

"Mr. Murdock." Steve walked over to him. "This is Bucky Barnes."

They shook hands and Steve and Bucky sat down on each of her side. Matt mostly wanted to talk to Bucky about normal things to get to know him. They had a nice lunch and Matt said that next time when Nelson was there as well they would talk about legal actions. But he did mention that they planned to contact the Attorney General to get her to grant Bucky immunity. Steve looked hopeful while Bucky didn't seemed very convinced that would happen.

"We should eventually reveal the Winter Soldier's real identity to get the public's compassion. That way the Justice Departement might feel pressured to pardon you, . You are a victim here." Matt said when they walked him to the elevator. "And if not we could still get a deal if you give them information about HYDRA. Current powerful members."

Bucky sighed. "It's all very clouded in my head. I'll try to remember."

Matt left with the promise to call them soon to set up another meeting. They walked back to the dinning table to talk about Matt's plan more.

"How did you get a free pass?" Bucky asked her when she filled his cup with tea.

"By working for SHIELD." She explained and a shiver ran down her spine when she thought about the state she was in when Clint bought her to the state. "Fury convinced the World Council to leave me alone if I worked for SHIELD. Five years later I got a letter from the AG that gave me immunity for my good work for SHIELD."

"Too bad SHIELD's gone." Bucky said while staring into his mug.

She felt Steve tense beside her. He sometimes told her that he wasn't so sure anymore if getting completely rid of SHIELD was such a good idea. They lost a lot of resources and influence that way. With SHIELD Bucky's situation would have been so much easier to solve.

"I'm not so sure that it's completely gone." Both men looked at her. "Have you heard from Coulson in the last months, Steve?"

"No but we weren't really that close."

"I haven't heard from him. Or Clint. And he was our handler for years. He was one out of three people who stood up for me when I joined the agency."

"You think Coulson is bringing SHIELD back?"

She took a sip from her tea. "Yes. Everytime I bring the topic up to Hill she acts all weird and changes the topic."

Countless emotions flickered over his face. "What if HYDRA is still in SHIELD?"

"Steve, Coulson is your number one fanboy. And he's jewish. I don't think he'll let HYDRA get a foot in the door."

Steve seemed to think about what she said and Bucky excused himself to test out Tony's gym floor. He hadn't had much chance to excerise in their apartment in Brookly and she knew that he was getting ansty and needed to power himself out.

She took Steve back to their floor and let him make love to her gently in their bedroom. They took their time to reach the finish line and just enjoyed moving as one.

He kissed every inch of her face before he pulled out and she moaned at the loss of him. She wrapped herself around him and rested her cheek on his chest.

"You're the perfect pillow."

She could feel the vibrations going through his body when he laughed. "Glad to be of service, Ma'am."

She lazily drew circles over his chest and bathed in the warmth and comfort he gave her. "You know I was so hellbent on not giving into my feelings back then." She admitted. "I was such an idiot." She rubbed her cheek against his skin and Steve brushed his fingers through her hair. " Your love was all I ever needed. I hope you know how much I love you."

He kissed the top of her head. "I do know that. And I love you too. More than I ever thought I could possibly love someone."

She looked up at him and his eyes were full of love and affection. She had to swallow and cupped his cheek to make him kiss her. He leaned down to press his lips against hers. He rolled her onto her back and gave her quick kisses that turned into long and deep ones that made her crave for more. She was getting wet again and slid her hands between them to line him up at her entrance.

He looked at her for permission and when she nodded he slid his tongue into her mouth while entering her again. They both moaned into the kiss and rocked against each other. He sat up on his knees after a few deep thursts and pulled her into his lap. He rubbed on every sweet spot in that position and she had to wrap her arms around his neck for balance. He gripped her waist to help her move up and down. They kissed the whole time while he fucked up into her to meet her movements. He managed to fuck her long enough to make her without any extra stimulation to her clit. She never knew she could come only from penetrative sex until Steve. She didn't think it was Dr. Erskine main goal with the superserum but she thanked the man for giving Steve a stamina out of this world. She opened her eyes when she came down from her high and Steve was looking at her with awe in his eyes. She could see that he struggled to hold his orgasm off.

"So beautiful." He rapsed in his deep voice and moved one hand from her waist between her legs. She was still sensitive and the touch made her gasped. "Come for me, Nat. One more time. Come with me." He began to circle her clit and she could feel her second orgasm approaching.

"Oh fuck." She moaned and could barely think. His cock inside her and his fingers on her clit made her almost delirious.

"Steve!" She cried out.

"That's it." He growled against her neck. "Again. Come on." He pressed down hard on her clit while thrusting up into her and she was gone. His hand on her waist gripped her so tight that she would probably bruise but she didn't care because she could feel him pulse inside her and he came with her name on his lips.

They plopped down on the mattress both sweaty and deeply sated. She turned her head to Steve who was already looking at her. He was always looking at her. "That was amazing."

He grinned. That smug bastard! "It really was. How is so perfect every single time?"

"It's because we're in love." She thought about this before and that was the only reason she could come up with. Sex and love together were spectacular. Or maybe it was just Steve.

He brushed her hair behind her ear. "That must be it."

They took a nap to recharge and left the Tower to take a walk around Midtown. Steve held her hand the whole time and lifted it from time to time to his lips. They checked out a new book store that was also an art gallery and stopped for cheese cake on their way back.

Maria was waiting for them when the elevator doors opened on their floor. She had that look on her face she had everytime back at SHIELD when she debriefed them for a mission.

"What do you want, Hill?" She was a bit annoyed that she interrupted her made out session with Steve. She had planned to watch some movie with Steve and make out on the couch like teenagers since Bucky was doing something with Sam.

"CIA called." She handed them both files. "They need you both for a mission."

"What kind of mission?" Steve asked and flipped his file open.

She did the same and read over the file. Rumlow was spotted around Central Africa working with various terror groups. Everett Ross was leading the task force with Sharon Carter as his deputy.

She glanced at Steve and could see by the expression on his face that he saw her name as well. She remembered how pissed Steve was when he found out that his neighbour Kate wasn't who she said she was. This mission would probably be awkward as hell.

* * *

 _Thank you to everyone who's reading my story! And a special thank you to those who are regularly writing reviews! Means a lot to me and makes me smile:)_


	37. Chapter 37

_I got a review that criticised the amount of sexual content in this story. I checked and out of 37 chapters only six are explicit and I don't think that's a lot. And I made sure to write a warning at the beginning of every chapter that's rated M and it's not like those chapters only contain sex scenes, there is still plot. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and that's why I published that review._

 _I'm sorry if you think this story is boring. It's not my intention to bore anyone especially since I have so much fun writing it._

 _This chapter has no sexual content like 30 other ones._

* * *

Chapter 37

Steve seemed a bit ansty on their flight to Lagos, probably because they were leaving Bucky on his own for the first time since he showed up at their doorstep. Not that Bucky was actually on his own since he was at the Tower.

"Stop fidgeting around." She was flying them to Nigeria in one of Tony's quinjet.

"I'm not fidgeting." He pouted from the co-pilot's seat and but stopped squirming.

"Bucky's gonna be fine, Steve."

"Yeah, I know. It's just weird to go on a mission after all this time and it's not to look for Bucky. I sometimes still think he's gonna disappear in front of my eyes. Like his return was just a dream."

She reached over to interwine her fingers with his. "He's back for good and maybe sooner than we think he can join us on those kinds of missions. If he wants to." She added. She didn't know what Bucky wanted to do after he hopefully got his name cleared and was officially a free man. And she didn't know if Steve talked with him about that.

He nodded. "That would be great." He gave her hand a squeeze. "What do you think Rumlow is doing in Nigeria? You think he's still HYDRA?"

She had been thinking about this since they left Manhattan. "I'm not sure. It can't be in HYDRA's interest to bankroll Rumlow who's a known HYDRA agent. They went back to hide in the shadows. I think he's on his own. That's why he's been in so many places recently and working with all kinds of people."

She put the jet on autopilot and turned her chair to face him. He did the same. "I think Rumlow has a plan. As much as I hate the guy, he's not dumb."

"You think he's trying to lure us out?"

"Yup." She nodded her head. "He's been sloppy by getting caught on surveillance cams and he knows better than that. He did that on purpose."

He ran his fingers through his hair. It was a bit longer than usual. "So we're walking right into a trap?"

"Probably."

"Great." He replied dryly and reread the file the CIA sent them.

She wondered why Rumlow now came out of the shadows. Did his recovery from having a building dropped on him take that long or was there another reason? She just knew that they needed to be careful. Rumlow worked alongside them on many missions, he knew how they thought and fought.

* * *

The CIA base was near the Lagos lagoon and she enjoyed the view through the glass windows while they waited for Ross and Carter. Steve didn't mention her since they both learned that she was on this mission and she hoped that he wouldn't make a scene. Honesty was something that he highly valued and she knew that Steve saw it like Carter had been lying and betraying him this whole time, even though she just did her job.

The double door opened and Ross walked in with Carter in tow.

"Captain Rogers. Miss Romanoff." Ross shook their hands and thanked them for coming. She hated to admit it but it felt weird to not be "Agent Romanoff" anymore. She actually got an offer from the CIA after SHIELD fell but she turned it down. She didn't think she would have fitted into Langley.

"You probably know Agent Carter from your SHIELD days." Ross motioned for them to sit down at the conference table.

Steve scoffed and sat away from Sharon as far as possible. She almost rolled her eyes at his dramatics. The woman just did her job for god sakes. She wasn't really thrilled herself that Carter basically spied on them but she knew from her own experience that you needed to follow Fury's orders without question.

Rumlow had been in Togo, Chad, Kongo and Nigeria working with various terror and extremists groups. All groups had different goals which indicated that Rumlow didn't work with them because of his beliefs.

"You think he's a mercenary?" She asked into the round.

Sharon nodded. "It's the only logical explanation."

"Since you wanted Captain America here as well, I take it an assassination is not planned?"

Ross chuckled. "No, we hope that can be avoided. We think he has valubale information about HYDRA that we can use."

Too bad, she kind of hoped they would let her kill him. She was pretty much dreaming about that since the day she met that dick.

"You think he'll cooperate?" Steve asked incredulously. "He was very close to Pierce. He's loyal to HYDRA."

"Maybe." Ross shrugged. "But we have ways to make him talk."

Torture. Somehow she didn't think that would work. Every SHIELD agent was trained to withstand torture to not give out information. And on top of that he was a Navy Seal.

She was about to voice her opinion and when Ross asked her to interrogate Rumlow if he got captured. They wanted her to spend time with the douchbag?!

"Your interrogation skills are legendary, Miss Romanoff."

"Thank you, sir."

She had no desire to talk to Rumlow but she knew that she couldn't back out. Finding more HYDRA cells was important. Man, she was a bit disappointed. She wanted to take a short trip to Rwanda on their way to do one of those gorilla safaris. It was on her bucket list and now had seemed like a good time for it. She wasn't that often in Africa.

Ross wanted to show something to Steve and they both left the conference room.

Sharon turned her chair to her. "I guess Steve is still mad at me?"

"He takes honesty very serious."

"Yeah, I heard that from my aunt. But what was I supposed to do? I had my orders." She crossed her arms over her chest.

Natasha remembered Fury's order to gather SHIELD intel on the Lemurian Star behind Steve's back. He was mad at her but got over it. "He'll get around eventually."

She talked with Sharon about her joining the agency until Steve and Ross showed up again. Steve was still scowling at Sharon and she decided to have a word with him about that. It was starting to get ridiculous.

Intelligence was looking for Rumlow's location and that gave them a few hours for themselves. They were offered two rooms to freshen up and rest and she thanked Sharon silently for not telling Ross that she was involved with Steve. He didn't need to know that.

She checked her gear again and then went to Steve's room. He was on the phone talking to Bucky like a worried mom whose kid goes for the first time to summer camp. He eventually hang up and sat down on the bed next to her.

"Bucky says hi."

She nodded and then placed her hand on his knee. "Steve, you gotta drop your grudge with Sharon. She was just doing her job!"

His jaw was set. "I know that. But I still feel played. For months I thought she was just my neighbour and what she really did was spying on me."

"Wasn't she send to protect you?"

"I think I can protect myself." He huffed out and plopped down on the bed.

She wondered why the history books never told that Captain America was a little drama queen. "You can't let that get into the field when we're going after Rumlow."

"I know." He sighed and closed his eyes.

She was about to tell him about the gorilla tracking tour and if he was game for that when an alarm went off. Steve sat up again.

"Looks like they found Rumlow."

* * *

He was hiding in an empty apartment looking over a district of Lagos. Nat and Sharon took position in a café blending in with the civilians. Ross was checking the area with a drone.

"We have reason to believe that Rumlow and his men are after a bio hazard virus." Ross said via comms. He stayed at the CIA base.

Minutes later the silent alarm of the research lab was tripped and the three of them rushed towards it.

"We got this." Nat yelled to him when serveral men with weapons blocked their way. He nodded and ran through them to the get inside. Rumlow couldn't get his hands on that virus. Some kind of gas filled the building but the serum protected him from it. He fought his way through and spotted the button that would absorb the gas through the vents. He hoped that no one of the lab workers got seriously hurt by the gas.

He knew from the blueprints where he had to go to find the virus but when he reached the lab it was already gone.

"Rumlow already has the virus." He informed Nat and Sharon.

"Copy that."

"I got eyes on Rumlow." Natasha said. "I'm going after him."

He ran to a window and saw how her red hair was flattering in the wind while she took after Rumlow. Sharon told them that she and her team would try to find the virus since multiple men fled the lab.

He heard fighting noises in his ear and then a loud groan. "Nat?"

"He shook me off. He's heading east to the old fisher market." He heard another groan. "Be careful. He's much stronger than he used to be."

He got out of the lab and ran to the fisher market that wasn't that far away. It was closed today and there weren't thankfully no civillians that could get hurt.

He looked around and couldn't see Rumlow but his gut told him that he was still here and waiting for him. Suddenly something kicked him in the back and he crashed through a market stall. He looked up and Rumlow was in his Crossbones outfit. He jumped up and threw his shield at Rumlow who dodged it with the armour around his underarms.

He activated the magnets on his wrist and the shield flew back to him. Rumlow ran towards him and they began to fight. He was really stronger than he used to be back at SHIELD. He wondered if the suit gave Rumlow more strength or if it was the result of experiments. He gave him a roundhouse kick and Rumlow fell on a stall. He got up and knifes came out of his gauntlets and he launched with them at him. Those knifes were really not fair!

"How is it going, Cap?" He aimed his gauntlet at him but he managed to get him off of him. His next punch wasn't as strong as the ones before. So he got his strength from those armour things.

He kicked Rumlow in the stomach and he fell to the ground. He grabbed him by the collar and pulled his helmet off. Holy shit, his face was plastered with burn scars.

"I think all things considered I look pretty good."

"Who's your buyer? What's your end game?"

He forgot about Rumlow's other hand and suddenly a sharp thing stabbed him into his side. Rumlow used that moment to get out of his hold. He was bleeding but the wound didn't feel too deep. It would be probably gone in a few days.

Rumlow wiped the blood of the knife on trousers. "I see you're with Romanoff here. So tell me,does she fuck how she fights?" He gave him an ugly smirk.

"What are you doing here? What's the goal here, Rumlow?"

"You know your pal? Bucky? He remembered you!"

Rumlow said it like he had no idea that Bucky had already come back to him. Did that mean HYDRA didn't know where Bucky was? He hoped so.

"Are you still with HYDRA?"

"Oh Cap, you have no idea what's coming next! You won't know what will hit you. Enjoy the redhead while you can!"

What the fuck was Rumlow talking about? Was there a bigger picture? Rumlow took a few steps back.

"Too bad, I won't be there to see it. But remember that I was the one who helped starting it."

"Run!" That was Natasha. He looked into the direction her voice was coming from and she looked horrifed. "Run!" She screamed.

He looked at Rumlow who had a grenade in his hand. He didn't think he'd ever been faster before. He ran into Nat's direction and threw her over his shoulder to get them both out of the fisher's market.

The blast of the explosion knocked him off his feet and he landed on top of her. He covered her with his body to make sure that none of the debris hit her. She coughed and he brushed her hair of her forehead.

"Are you okay, Nat?"

"Yeah." She touched his ear with her hand. "You're bleeding!"

"It's fine." He should probably tell her about his stabbing wound but she looked already so worried.

He rolled off of her and sat up next to her. Together they watched the burning building. There was no way that Rumlow could have surived that.

"Why do you think he killed himself?"

Natasha was shaking out ash of her hair. "Maybe he was ordered to? What did he tell you before he went poof?"

"That I had no idea what was coming." A shiver ran down his spine.

"That can't be good." She got up on her feet and held her hand out for him. She pulled him up and kissed him. "Thank you for saving me."

He brushed his thumb over her cheek. Her face was covered in ash but she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. "I'm the one who has to say thank you. Without your warning I would have noticed that grenade too late. I would have died."

"Please don't say stuff like that." She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face against his chest. Her hold on him was surprisingly strong. For such a tiny woman she had a lot of strength. He rested his chin on the top of her head and closed his eyes.

"Steve?"

He kissed the top of her head. "Yes, doll?" He thought they were still having a moment.

"Why is my left arm getting wet?"

"Um.."

She pulled away from him and inspected her sleeve. She wasn't wearing her catsuit but a beige jacket and its left sleeve was red from his blood.

"Um, I got stabbed?" He looked at her sheepishly.

"When were you gonna tell me that?" She sounded pissed and pushed his arm to the side to examine his wound. "You can be lucky that's not too deep or I would kick your ass right now, Rogers!" She got out of her jacket and ripped a piece out of it and pressed it on his wound. "Put pressure on it." She snappped but he knew that she was more worried than mad.

A SUV showed up and Nat pulled her gun. Sharon got out and she put her gun back into her thigh holster. "The virus is secured. Where's Rumlow?"

Nat pointed at the burning fisher's market behind them and Sharon sighed. Sirens were getting louder and the first fire truck came towards them.

Sharon drove them to the CIA base where his wound was patched up. Nat came later to his room with a tray of food. "Ross doesn't need us anymore. We're free to leave."

He nodded and bit into a sandwich. "You wanna leave right now?"

"You've ever been to Rwanda?"

"Um, no." Where was she going with this?

She looked at him. "I get it if you wanna head back right to New York and Bucky but-" Her eyes began to sparkle and he wondered what Rwanda had to do with that. "There's this gorilla tracking tour that I always wanted to do ever since I heard about it and since Rwanda is not that far way from Nigeria..." She played with her napkin. "Could we maybe go there?" She looked at him with an insecurity that reminded him of a child.

"Of course we can." He said and she beamed. She was really excited about that. "That sounds really interesting."

"Great!" She pulled her phone. "I'll sign us up."

"And we're gonna see real gorillas in their natural habitat?"

She nodded and then looked up from her phone smirking. "I wonder who has the more defined chest. You or the silverback?"


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

He looked down at his new screensaver on his phone while he waited for Nat and Bucky to return from their meeting with Murdock and Nelson. He managed to snap a pic of Natasha during their gorilla safari. She looked so happy and beautiful while she watched the apes. She had this little smile on her lips and her eyes were gleaming. He was pretty sure that this was the greatest photo anyone has ever taken. Natasha was really ecstatic about this trip and thanks to autopilot he had joined the mile high club on their way back to New York.

He wished he knew that she wanted to see the gorillas in Rwanda for so long because he would have loved to have taken her sooner. She was so mesmerized by the animals and he vowed to take more trips like that with her.

The elevator doors opened and Nat and Bucky came out of it laughing and with pizza boxes. They met Bucky's lawyers after office hours so no one would see them. So far no one knew that Bucky was in New York and they intended to keep it that way for a little longer.

"Hey Punk" Bucky shoved him the pizza boxes into his arms. "I'm gonna get plates."

Natasha smiled at him and he put the pizza on the table. "Hi.I missed you, doll."

She tilted her head up and he leaned down to kiss her. "I wasn't that long gone."

She laughed when he tried to slip his tongue into her mouth. "Stop that!"

He grinned and pinched her waist. "I always miss you."

She rolled her eyes at him but he knew that she was secretly pleased. Bucky came back with plates and napkins and they sat down on the couch to eat the pizza.

"How did it go with Murdock and Nelson?"

"Foggy was alone. Matt had "stuff" to do." Nat explained implying that he was daredevilling around.

Bucky shoved a whole pizza slice into his mouth. "They are working on presenting my case to the Attorney General. You gonna have to testify for me, Stevie. They think that the AG can't go against Captain America without backlash from the public."

"Of course. Anything you need, Buck." They smiled at each other. He would help him in any way possible.

Wanda would come to the Tower tomorrow with her brother to try to read Bucky's mind. On the one hand to try to erase the Winter Soldier and on the other hand to look for valuable information in case they needed to get a deal with the Justice Departement if they won't grant him immunity. Vision already tried to scan Bucky's brain with the mind stone while he and Nat had been in Africa but appararently his powers couldn't penetrate thoughts. Vision theorized that the mind stone gave that power only to Wanda.

Nat was done with her pizza before them and got up to change into different clothes. She came back in one of his hoodies and yoga pants and Bucky went through Netflix to find something for them to watch.

She snuggled into his side and pulled his arm over her shoulders. He loved it that she was so small and fitted so perfectly against him. Almost like they were made for each other. Maybe they were. His ma always told him that everyone had a soulmate and he would find his one day.

Bucky finally decided on a movie - The Princess Bride. It was coincidentally the first movie he had watchend with Na a few weeks after Fury partnered them up. She looked up to him and the smile on her face told him that she remembered it too.

"I love you." He whispered into her ear and she pressed herself closer to him.

"I think Tony has been quoting this movie quite a lot." Bucky commented when the credits rolled.

"92 % of the things he says are pop culture references." Nat said and he had to agree. He got caught up on pop culture with Nat's help but he still only got like half of Tony's references. They watched a few episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine before they called it a night. Nat was already sleeply and crawled under the blankets while he got ready for bed in the bathroom.

He got into bed and she immediately scooted over to him and wrapped herself around him. He wondered what people would say if they knew that the Black Widow loved to cuddle.

"Steve?"

He played with her hair. "Mm?"

"You are the love of my life." She whispered softly. "I wanted you to know that."

He rolled her gently on her back and hovered over her so she would see his face. "You are the love of my life, too." He brushed his lips against hers. "You are the first and only woman I will ever love."

She smiled at him with tears in her eyes and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pushed him down until their chests touched.

He tried to get up but her hold tighten around him. "Nat, I'm crushing you."

"No, stay. Please." She kissed him and then buried her face in his neck. "Don't go. Don't leave me."

"I'll never leave you." He promised fiercely because her voice sounded so small and vulnerable when she said it. He felt so honoured that he was the only one who got to see this side of her. They fell asleep with him on top of her.

* * *

They made slowly and gently love the next morning after they woke up. They were in no rush to reach their climax and basked in each other. She gasped every time he moved in her and he was overwhelmed by his love for her and her trust in him.

"Mm" She sighed after he plopped down next to her. "Best way to start your day." She stretched her body in a way that reminded him of a cat. She grinned at him. "You can wake me up like this every day."

He pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "Don't tempt me."

She kissed him and then got out of bed. He admired her naked backside and grinned at her when she turned around and caught him. "Like what you're seeing?"

"You know I do." He laughed and frowned when she covered herself with her robe. She briefly left the bedroom and came back with a shampoo bottle in her hand. "I forgot to put it in our bathroom. It was still in my bag." She explained when she saw his confused face.

She slid her robe off her shoulders. "You wanna join me in the shower? You know to save water." She winked and walked into the joining bathroom.

He quickly got out of bed and followed her only to do his part to save the planet and not because he wanted to ravish her.

He went with Bucky and Natasha to the gym floor to meet Sam for some training. Nat left them after some time because Tony wanted to talk to her.

They went to the common floor afterwards and Rhodey walked towards them with an amused look on his face. He wanted to ask him what was going on but he already heard Nat and Tony arguing.

"Is there really no one else who can do it?" She sounded annoyed.

"Why are you acting like this? Isn't that your literal job?"

"Ask Hill! She works for you!"

"She says I don't pay her enough for this."

"You don't pay me at all!"

"I let you and your boyfriend and his buddy live here rent free."

"We can still go back to our apartment in Brooklyn."

"Just one week, Nat!"

"Steve is the only one who gets to call me that."

He had to smile at that. Bucky called her in the beginning Nat but when he noticed that no one sides him did that he dropped it and called her Natasha.

"Fine, _Natasha_! Just one week and then we see how it went?"

"No and you can't even decide that! You're on the bench remember? You're not an active Avenger right now! Steve is the only one who can make those decisions."

"And you're is second in command and his hunny bunny! Convince him with your wicked ways!"

"You want me to use sex to convince my boyfriend to recruit a teenager for the team?"

"Don't phrase it like that! That makes me sound like a weirdo."

What the fuck were the two talking about? He glanced at Bucky who looked similiar lost and they walked around the corner where Nat was standing with her hands on her hips and Tony was sitting on an armchair.

"Okay, what's going on?" He asked mostly directed at Nat.

Tony opened his mouth but she sent him a death glare. "Tony has the brilliant idea to have me spy on a teenager to see if he is the right fit for the Avengers."

"What?"

"There is this kid in Queens that calls himself Spiderboyman or something and he has incredible skills that can be valuable to us." Tony said and held his phone up showing a video of someone somehow flying around in the streets.

"That kid is fifteen years old, Tony!" Nat barked. "He is still a child!"

"He'll love being an Avenger!"

"You want to recruit child soldiers?" Bucky asked incrediously and looked disgusted.

"What no!" Tony looked appalled by that. "We train him and take him on non-combat missions!"

This was destined to end in a disaster. "Tony, that's not a good idea. We can't take a minor on our missions. Are you out of your mind? That's way too dangerous!"

"What was Natasha even supposed to do?" Bucky asked.

She rolled her eyes. "He wants me to go undercover as a teacher at the kid's school because he's not entirely sure he found the right kid."

"I'm like 95% sure Peter Parker is Spidermanboy. I just need you to confirm that."

"Nat's not gonna do anything!" He decided and used his Captain America voice. "We are leaving that boy alone. If he needs our help he'll get it but otherwise we stay out of his way."

Tony crossed his arms and pouted. "Fine. I still think he'd be a valuable asset."

"Let him finish high school first!"

Tony got up. "I'll be in my lab. The Maximoffs should be here around 4 pm. I think Wanda still has a test at noon."

* * *

Wanda and Pietro came to the Tower in the late afternoon and told them over coffee and cake how they were doing at college. They both obviously loved it and he considered putting them both on the bench until they graduated. Being both students and Avengers seemed to be too much and he wanted them to have a normal and safe life after everything they'd been through. Their powers were useful in the field but he knew that they could manage without them for some time.

"I've been reading on mind control and memories and I think that I can lock the Winter Soldier in some kind of cage in your mind so he can't take control over you." Wanda explained after they were done eating. "Going through your memories should be easy for me. I practiced on Pietro and it worked everytime."

"Thank you so much, Wanda." Bucky smiled at her thankfully.

She nodded and explained that she would start to help trigger his memories before she would lock the Winter Soldier away. She needed to get to know his mind before she would be able to do that.

"How much do you think you already remember?"

"Bits and pieces. I remember a lot of the time right before and after I joined the Army. Some things about my childhood. I remember everything from my last wipe but then there's this void."

"We'll start with your childhood for happy memories before we get to HYDRA."

Wanda left with Bucky to go to Nat's old floor where she and her brother were staying to get some quiet for their first session. They came back two hours later and Bucky remembered a few embarrassing stories about him that he had of course to share with Nat and the others. Great!

* * *

A few days later he got an invitation from the White House for some kind of gala. Tony got the same one and said that he heard that a lot of powerful politicians would come as well, including the Attorney General. This could be the perfect opportunity to get a foot in her door for Bucky's immunity.

He showed Nat the invite after she came back from a meeting with Hill. She met her quite often in the last time but she didn't tell him what for.

"You should go." She handed him the invitation back after she read it. "For Bucky and for the Avengers. Maybe after meeting you they hurry up with coming up with plan about how much authority we will get as the Avengers."

"I thought so too." He felt his palms getting sweaty. "Do you wanna come with me? As my date?"

"I don't think that's a good idea. They obviously don't want me there or they would have invited me." She acted nonchalant but still seemed a bit hurt by it. "And it's probably not helping our cause or Bucky's if Washington finds out that Captain America is dating a Russian assassin."

"I don't care abou that."

She gave him a small smile. "I know that, babe. But most people do. These people do and we need them on our side. To bring the Avengers back and for Bucky's freedom."

"Then come as my second in command. I'm sure that people can't have a problem with that. This way they see who will lead the Avengers." He took a step closer to her and kissed her forehead. "Please, come with me."

"Okay." She finally said.

"Great." He couldn't help but beam at her. "Does that mean I get to see you in a ball gown?"

"Well the dress code does say black tie..."

He took her hand and twirled her around. Thanks to her he was now a pretty decent dancer. "I'm sure you will be the most beautiful woman there. Well, you are the most beautiful woman everywhere at any time."

She rolled her eyes but her cheeks turned a bit pink."You're biased."

"Nope. That's a scientific fact." He declared confidently because really how could there be someone more beautiful than Nat? It was just impossible. He picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. "I'll show you just how beautiful you are."

She laughed and he was pretty proud when her laughter turned into throaty moans.


	39. Chapter 39

_I think/hope that this chapter is less confusing and shows where this story will go._

* * *

Chapter 39

The last time Natasha went to a gala was back when she worked for SHIELD and had to pose as an heiress to get access to an high class criminal ring. Apparently being filthy rich gets boring one day and you gotta find a new hobby. She played a role at that banquet which had made it easy for her. But she'd never been to the White House before, let alone to a ball there. And this time she would go as herself, Natasha Romanoff co-leader of the Avengers (and Captain America's girlfriend).

She called Pepper to help her find a dress because Pepper had all the connections to every important designer and she wanted to look amazing when she walked on Steve's arm into the room. People couldn't know they were a couple but she still wanted to scare any woman away who might thought about hitting on him. And she liked spending time with Pepper even though it was a bit weird after her break up with Tony.

She took an Uber to Pepper's appartment at the Upper East Side and was greeted by Pepper's warm smile.

"So good to see you, Natasha." They hugged and Pepper moved aside to let her in. Her penthouse was beautiful and proved again that Pepper had exquisite taste.

"Thanks again for helping me with this."

"No need to thank me. I love fashion." Pepper winked and led her to her living room. She gasped when she saw the clothes railes. Some dresses were in clothing bags others weren't and she spotted sequin, satin and other fabrics in every imaginable colour.

"I think I died and went to heaven. Not that I ever thought I would land there."

Pepper laughed and sat down cross-legged on her carpet that had probably cost more than a small car. She joined Pepper and oh that carpet was so soft! They enjoyed macarons and champagne while talking about anything and everything. Pepper didn't mention Tony and she followed her example.

"You ready to climb that mountain?" Pepper pointed at the clothing railes behind her.

"I thought you'd never asked, Potts." She grinned and helped Pepper up. The fun was finally about to begin.

She didn't remember how many dresses she tried on, she only found out that changing into different clothes a millions times could be quite exhausting. She was too tired afterwards and sent Steve a text that she would sleep at Pepper's place. It was already way past midnight and after some drinks and sushi she finally found the perfect dress. It was a black (what a suprise) velvet one with a sweetheart neckline that accentuated her boobs in a sexy yet classy way and a slit on her thigh showed some leg when she walked.

"I don't think you will get out of your hotel room when Steve sees you in this." Pepper said while she looked at herself in the mirror. She looked smoking hot if she was inclined to say so herself.

"It's not too much for the White House?"

Pepper shook her head. "No, it's perfect. It's elegant with the right amount of sexy. You don't have to look like a nun. Just don't do that weird Angelina Jolie leg thing with that slit."

"I'll try my best." She laughed and Pepper helped her out of the dress.

* * *

Steve seemed a bit nervous on their way to the White House because he wasn't sure he would be convincing enough to get the AG on their side. Matt and Nelson had prepared Bucky's case and Wanda managed to find the first usable information about HYDRA in his mind. That and the prospect that Wanda would be able to make sure that HYDRA wouldn't be able to trigger the Winter Soldier anymore would hopefully be enough to get Bucky immunity. She had met with Hill in the last weeks on numerous times and some intelligence services were very interested in Bucky. They either wanted for him to rot for eternity ( there were rumours about an underwater prison) and others wanted to experience on him. Either way they hadn't planned anything good for him.

And on top of that Steve and Tony were supposed to get the Avengers back out there. It had been months since Ultron and the World Council was still fighting about what to do with them. They didn't want them to let them operate on their own and they didn't want to be puppets. HYDRA could be anywhere.

Steve was playing with his seatbelt and she grasped his hand to calm him. "You gonna do great! And I'm right beside you and Tony's gonna be there as well!"

"I don't know. I'm not good at this."

"Aren't you the man with the plan?" She teased him and the corners of his mouth twitched in amusement.

"I did NOT write that song!"

She began to hum the melody and he rolled his eyes at her.

"Have I told you how beautiful and breathtaking you look tonight, Nat?"

She smiled at him and gave him one last kiss for some time. She wasn't his girlfriend tonight but his second in command. "You have. Serveral times."

* * *

The gala proved to be quite the success. She talked to Gideon Malick from the World Council and he told her that the Council would be willing to give the Avengers all kinds of authorization that an agency had if they promised to work close to the Council. She didn't see how that would be a problem and told Malick that she looked forward to working with him and the other council members.

She saw that Steve was talking to AG Sally Jenkins and hoped he would receive similiar good news. Maybe sooner than later the Avengers were back for good and they could fight the good fight again and make amends for Ultron. Maybe Bucky could join them after he would hopefully get immunity from the Justice Department. And maybe she and Steve could take the next step in their relationship. Marriage was now quite often on her mind. She never thought she wanted to be someone's wife but she really liked the idea of becoming Steve's. She hoped he felt the same way.

She was talking to the First Lady and her daughter when she saw that Steve wasn't with the AG anymore. She excused herself and made her way over to him with two glasses of champagne. He looked so handsome in his tuxedo and she couldn't wait to be alone with him in their hotel room. Hopefully he didn't plan on getting much sleep tonight.

"Hey." He took the glass she offered him. "So I checked and I stand correct you are the most beautiful woman in this room."

She chuckled into her champagne. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Rogers."

"That a promise?" His eyes darkened for a moment and he licked his lips.

She smirked at him. "You can count on that, Captain." She took a sip from her glass. "How did it go with Jenkins?"

"Good, I think. I told her about looking for Bucky and that I was worried about what would happen to him since none of this was his fault and she said that I shouldn't worry too much about it. That's good, right?"

"Yeah, I think so too. " She nodded and told him about her conversation with Malick.

"So, Bucky might have a future as a free man and the Avengers are gonna be back in business soon? That needs to be celebrated." He offered her his hand." Can I have this dance, Miss Romanoff?"

She gave him her hand and he led them to the dancefloor. Suddenly the windows burst and pieces of glass were flying everywhere. Before she could really register what happened Steve threw himself on her and covered her with his body. People were screaming and another explosion further away went off.

"Are you okay?" They asked at the same time and both nodded.

He helped her up and and people were running out of the room flanked by Secret Service. President Ellis and his family were nowhere to be seen.

Tony ran towards them. "Are you guys hurt?""

"No, you?"

He shook his head and pulled his Starkphone out. "FRIDAY tell me what's going on!"

"Three bombs appear to have been set off, Sir. Law enforcement is on its way."

Steve turned to Tony. "Do you have a suit here?"

"No."

"Okay, then see if anyone needs medical help. Nat and I search the building for perpetrators."

They didn't come far because the Secret Service had the whole place on lockdown and they were forced to stay in the ball room. Several people of the White House staff and Congress members were killed. The president was hurt but stabil. Dozens of people had cuts from the broken windows.

They wanted to stay but the FBI told them to get back to their hotel after talking to her, Steve and Tony. Not that they could tell them much, they were as surprised by the attack as everyone else.

They were watching the news in their suite and Steve was trying to call Bucky to tell them that they were okay but he didn't pick up. There were wild theories about who could be behind it but no one had yet claimed to be behind the attack.

Someone knocked on the door and Tony stormed into the room. "We need to talk!" He said frantic and already connected his phone to the hotel TV.

"What's going on?" She asked him when she stood next to him in front of the TV.

"Just look."

He pressed a button and the surveillance feed of the White House appeared. Did Tony hack into their system? She wanted to say something but then her breath got caught and her whole body frooze. A man was sneaking into the White House and hiding something under a table in a hallway. Was this a one man job? The man turned around and she could see his face. It was Bucky.

Steve was suddenly behind her. "That's not possible. That's not him!"

"Can you be sure?" Tony asked him. "He's not at the Tower. I had FRIDAY check. He disappeared this morning."

Steve shook his head. "No, no. There has to be an explanation. He would never do something like this!"

Her heart was racing and she didn't know what to think. She wanted to agree but she had no explanation for Bucky's face on the surveillance feed. Did someone tamper with it? "Tony, did you get this directly from the White House?"

"Yes, no one had their hands on it yet. It's not fake."

Steve sighed and buried his face in his hands. She felt so bad for him but she didn't know what to do. Was this the reason why they couldn't reach Bucky on his phone?

"Maybe HYDRA got to him?" Tony mused. Was that possible? "Wanda didn't try to lock the Winter Soldier away in his mind yet, did she?"

"Steve?" She asked carefully. This was an explanation that made some sense and Bucky was still innocent and didn't do it on purpose.

He looked up. "No! He didn't do it. How was HYDRA supposed to get to him? He was the whole time at the Tower and-" He looked at Tony. "You claim that it's the safest building in the world."

"Maybe he's been playing us the whole time." Tony said and she and Steve stared at him. No, she would have seen right through that, wouldn't she?

"Are you saying he was a sleeper?!" Steve yelled and stormed off the couch and towered over Tony. "He did not play us or betray us. This is some kind of misunderstanding!"

She placed her hand on his shoulder and turned him away from Tony. "Sweetie, try to calm down." She looked at Tony. "I think it's better if we continue to talk about this in the morning."

Tony nodded and left without a word. He really looked scared when Steve pounced at him.

"Do you think Bucky is behind it?" Steve asked quietly.

"I don't know what to think but I do know that there has to be a bigger picture." She tugged on his arm and led him to the bedroom of the suite. "I know it's not easy but try to get some sleep."

* * *

She didn't know how but she eventually fell asleep. It was still dark outside and the space next to her was empty and cold. Thinking that Steve was pacing around in the living room of the suite she got out of bed to look for him.

The living room was empty. "Steve?"

No answer.

She got a bad feeling in her gut and turned the light on. She saw his phone on the coffee table and a note beside it.

 _I'm sorry, Nat._

 _He needs me._

She ran back to the bedroom and his suitcase was gone. She slipped into jeans and shoes and "borrowed" one of the cars in the hotel parking lot. She raced to her old apartment in DC that she still had in case they needed a safehouse. The adress was still confidential.

She ran up the stairs and the apartment door was slightly open. The lock was damaged and she pulled her Glock out of her jacket and went in.

She checked every room but no one was here. She went to her safe that was broken open and cash, weapons and the blank passports were gone. Steve was the only one who knew about this.

She sank to the floor and hugged her knees. Steve had been here and took everything he needed to disappear. She didn't need to check if the quinjet that bought them to DC was still at the hangar, she knew that Steve took it. He could be anywhere by now and they had no way to track him. Did he go to look for Bucky or was Bucky already with him and they ran away together?

All she knew was that Steve promised her to never leave her and he broke that promise. She always feared that Steve would have to chose between her and Bucky one day. And now she knew that he would chose Bucky over her.

Steve was gone.

He left her.

And something told her that he was not coming back. She didn't stop her tears and mourned the fact that the love of her life didn't love her enough to take her with him.

* * *

 _Please don't scream at me!_

 _I hope it's now more obvious where the last chapters had been leading to._

 _Rumlow told Steve before he died that Steve won't know what'll hit him._

 _Peter has been mentioned because he will show up soon._

 _Wanda worked on Bucky's mind but didn't erase the Winter Soldier yet, so Tony now suspects that Bucky is the Winter Soldier again._

 _Natasha confessed that Steve was the love of her life and made him promise her that he would never leave her. A promise he that he has now broken._


	40. Chapter 40

_I got a guest review that I like to adress and since I can't directly reply to those I'll do it here._

 _Civil War showed that Steve is willing to throw everything away for Bucky. It's canon, so it's not ridiculous that Steve leaves everything behind to help him._

 _I don't see how Nat is weak when she's crying over the fact that Steve is gone. That was her immediate reaction to it. Showing her emotions doesn't make her weak- she's not a robot._

* * *

Chapter 40

Tony was waiting outside her suite when she came back to the hotel. Her body was numb and she just wanted to be alone to process everything.

"Where were you?" Tony got up from the wall he was leaning against. "I've been calling you guys a hundred times!" He looked down the hallway. "Where's Steve?"

She didn't say anything and unlocked the door. Tony followed her inside. "Did you at least check your phone?"

No, she left it here when she went to her old apartment. She just shook her head. "We have a huge problem, Natasha." He looked around the suite. "Okay where's Cap? This concerns him as well."

"He's gone."

"What do you mean gone? Did he go to get breakfast?"

She plopped down on one of the velvet arm chairs and laughed an ugly laugh. "No, he left. He's gone for good. I don't know where he is."

"That's not funny!"

"It's not a joke." She felt new tears buidling up in her eyes and blinked them away. She didn't want to cry in front of Tony. "Why are you here?"

He looked like he was debating if he should comfort her but thankfully he seemed to decide against it. She didn't need his pity."They released the footage. The world now thinks that the Winter Soldier is behind the attack on the White House. Two more people died in the hospital. Death count is now by 35. And the puplic knows that the Winter Soldier stayed at the Tower."

"What?"

"He showed up in the background of tourists photos yesterday when he left the Tower."

Fuck! That was not good. They could forget the Avengers if Bucky really did it.

"Natasha?"

She looked up at Tony and he sat down on the coffee table. "What happened with Steve?"

"He left either to go after Bucky or with Bucky." She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. All I know is that he's gone and he's not coming back."

"He won't just leave you like that. He's crazy about you. He loves you!" Tony objected and placed his hand on her knee for comfort.

She gave him a forced smile and pushed his hand gently away. She didn't want his pity. Captain America left her, they all knew it was eventually bound to happen. They had bigger fish to fry. They needed to find a way to get the Avengers out of this on top. Their leader might be gone but the idea still lived on. The Avenger Initiative was founded before they even knew Steve was still alive, it could continue without him. She could continue without him.

"So where do we go from here?"

Tony rubbed his eyebrows with his hand. "Secretary Ross wants to see us. We're gonna have a lot to explain. What are we gonna do about Steve?"

"We have to tell Ross the truth. That we don't know anything and that the Avengers will operate without Captain America."

Tony gave her a small smile. "Since Cap is now out of the picture and you were his second in command... Looks like you're our leader now."

She hadn't even thought about that! She was mostly devastated that Steve left her but now she was getting pissed that he left her to deal with this fucking mess on her own!

* * *

The conversation with Ross was unplesant to say the least. He naturally wanted to know why they had haboured a wanted criminal and if that was something the Avengers did on a daily basis. He wanted to know where Steve was and they truthfully told them that they didn't know his location.

"So are you telling me that Captain America and the Winter Soldier are both behind the attack on the White House?" Ross snapped. "Good American people died last night!"

"That's not what we've been saying." She corrected him. " Capain Rogers went most likely after Sergeant Barnes to get to the truth, ."

Ross crossed his arms and gave her and Tony a stern look. "Are you two aware how bad things look for you right now? Barnes is no.1 on the most wanted list and I'm really tempted to put Rogers' name there as well."

She couldn't really blame Ross for that. "We believe that HYDRA somehow got to Barnes and triggered the Winter Soldier. Barnes has been himself in the last weeks since he showed up."

Tony spoke up. "I wouldn't have let Barnes stay at my Tower if he was a risk. You know what he did to my parents but that wasn't him. What could be Barnes' MO to attack the White House? There is none."

Natasha nodded. "The Winter Soldier and HYDRA on the other hand? They're trying to spread fear and hate to weaken the government to take over." She looked at Ross. "HYDRA is probably closer to you than you think."

Ross seemed like he was thinking about what they just said. "I guess what you're saying makes sense. Fine, I try to convince the World Council to not shut down the Avengers Initiative." He raised his finger. "But you have to bring in Barnes. And Rogers. So we can find out what's really going on. Try to keep your circle as small as possible. We don't know how far HYDRA's reach is."

They both nodded. "We only involve people who we completely trust." She promised and Tony walked Ross to the door.

He turned to her after Ross was gone. "And now?"

"We go back to New York and get to work. If we screw this up we can forget the Avengers for good."

"Okay,you're the boss now!"

* * *

Sam, Rhodey, Wanda and Pietro were already waiting for her and Tony when they arrived back at the Tower. Thankfully Tony had a private plane in DC and they didn't had to wait for a plane to come from New York or take a regular flight.

The rest of them was confused that Steve wasn't with them. "We have to do this without him." Was all she said and Wanda gave her a look that told her that the kid could sense what was going inside her. She was angry, sad and confused but she didn't have time to deal with this. They needed to find Bucky and Steve fast before the damage would be even bigger.

FRIDAY was hacking into every surveiilance and traffic camera around the world to find Steve and Bucky. She hoped they would find them soon because she wanted to kick Steve in the nuts for turning everything into a bigger mess.

"So we're all thinking that HYDRA is behind this, right?" Sam asked into the round.

"The question is how did they get to Bucky." Rhodey continued.

"Wanda, did you find anything in his brain? Hidden triggers?" She asked the girl and everyone looked at her.

"No, I'm sorry." She blushed shyly. "I didn't get to that yet. I'm sorry." Her brother patted her hand.

"It's okay. It's not you fault." She assured her. It was HYDRA's fault. "Did anyone see or talk to Bucky yesterday morning?"

Those who had been in New York yesterday shook their heads.

"So we got nothing?" Pietro concluded.

"Miss Romanoff? Councilman Malick is on the phone for you." FRIDAY informed her and she excused herself to talk to him in private.

Malick promised her that he would still support the Avengers and try to keep the World Council on their side to get the Avengers authorized as their own agency. He said that Captain America being out of the picture could complicate things but he would try his best. She thanked him and ended the phone call.

They needed to find a HYDRA member to get intel or to infiltrate the organization. The hit on the White House had to be ordered by a high ranking member. It was the same with knowing how to trigger the Winter Soldier, she was sure that only a few people knew how to do that. Things would be so much easier if Steve hadn't vanished because she was more and more convinced that Bucky was with him and they took together off. Maybe to get off the grid or to find out who was behind all of this and Steve probably thought it was the best to keep the Avengers out of it.

"Natasha?"

Hill was standing at the door frame holding a file in her hand. "I'm gonna tell you something that you probably already know."

"I'm listening."

Maria walked over to the couch and sat down. "SHIELD's not gone. Coulson is the new director."

So her hunch was right. "Keep going."

"SHIELD's been going after HYDRA in the last months trying to shut it down for good. Remember Ward?" Maria made a face.

"He's HYDRA?"

"Yup." She nodded and slid the file over to her. "By the way he thinks you're eye candy."

"I caught him staring at my ass a few times." She grabbed the file and opened it. Various pictures of Ward were in it. And the info that he had been in custody but fled and killed his brother and almost killed Bobbi.

"Ward's been busy with HYDRA. He was Garrett's lap dog and now it seems he wants to climb up the ladder. Even kidnapped von Strucker's kid. May and Hunter went after him on a little revenge trip but couldn't capture or kill him."

"You want me to go after him?"

"Yes, Coulson contacted me." Hill explained. "He originally wanted to give a kill order but with the White House attack he thinks Ward may knows something."

She nodded and read over the file. The last known location of Ward was Texas. "Thank you for this." She said to Hill. "I'll leave in an hour."

"Shouldn't you take back up with you?"

She shook her head. None of the other Avengers were trained for these kinds of mission. She could have used Clint but she didn't want to drag him away from his family. "No, I'll go alone. I may have to do things that would make the skin of the others scrawl."

Hill gave her an understanding look. They were both trained to use torture to get information. She didn't think Sam and the others would be cool with that.

After Maria left she seached the floor for any clues that Bucky might have left but she found nothing. Ward was their only lead for now.

She said goodbye to the others before she left and told them to keep looking through surveillance feed and the dark web for HYDRA. She wanted Wanda to be ready to read Ward's mind if he didn't cooperate with them.

Sam walked her to the quinjet. "Call me immediately if you need back-up!"

She gave him a small smile. "I don't think that will be necessary..."

He gave her a stern look that made her promise him to tell him if she needed him. She highly doubted it though. Ward was good but she was better.

"For what is worth I don't think Steve would have left if he thought there was a another way." He said and rubbed her arm in a comforting way. She knew that he wanted to say that Steve wouldn't have left her if but he did and she had to live with that. It wouldn't help anyone if she watched sad movies and ate gallons of ice cream or whatever women did when they got their heart broken. She had no time for that HYDRA was planning something and they needed to be stopped.

"Thanks, Sam." She patted his arm and walked up the ramp of the quinjet. He waved and smiled at her until the ramp was up. She started the jet and typed in the coordinates of Ward's last known location. She hoped he would pick up a fight, she really needed to hurt someone.


	41. Chapter 41

_Thank you for your reviews!_

 _The translation for the German dialogue is at the end of the chapter._

* * *

Chapter 41

Without his enhanced hearing he wouldn't even have noticed that Bucky broke into their hotel suite after the attack on the White House. Natasha was asleep and snuggled against him when he heard how the door opened. He recognized the footsteps as Bucky and got out of bed without waking Nat up.

He closed the bedroom door behind him and Bucky was already staring at him. He said that he had no memeory of the last hours. He only remembered getting a call from Murdock's assistant who said that they needed to talk to him about something urgent. He left the Tower and then he didn't know what happened. But he had still been in New York when his black out ended. He had heard about the attack and his apparent involvement and left to get to DC.

"I'm ready to turn myself in." Bucky said. "They'll realize that I didn't do it because I wasn't even in town."

"They'll kill you on sight. HYDRA is most definitely behind this. Who knows how deep their influence goes. I'm pretty sure the person who called you wasn't Murdock's assistant. They must have had the attacker put on a photostatic veil to pose as you." They couldn't trust anyone. What had Natasha said before they went to bed? There had to be a bigger picture? He somehow knew that this was only the beginning. Didn't Rumlow say he wouldn't see what hit him? He definitely didn't see this coming. "We have to leave to go after HYDRA, Bucky. It's the only way to get to the truth."

Bucky seemed to weigh his options. "Okay." He finally said. "I wait here until you and Natasha are ready."

He vehemently shook his head. No, he wouldn't drag her into this. If they would fail they could never go back. She didn't deserve to live her life on the run just because she loved him and felt obligated to come with him. "No, it's just you and me." He tried to give him a smile but probably failed. "Like old times."

"Steve..." Bucky began but he stopped him.

"Don't. It's the only way. I refuse to put her in any danger." He decided and gave him a stern look to signal that any objection was pointless. He needed her to be safe and she wouldn't be safe if she would come with them. She was a capable fighter and spy but she was still just human and no supersoldier. HYDRA would use her to get to him. She should stay here and lead the Avengers.

He loved her so much and he knew that she would hate him for leaving her but hopefully one day she would see that he did it for her. This wasn't her fight. It was his and Bucky's fight. He couldn't save Bucky back then but he would be damned if he didn't try his hardest to do it now. He owed it to him, he owed him everything. Without Bucky he probably wouldn't even have made to 20. He would help him no matter the consequences, no matter what he would lose in the process. And who. He wouldn't be Captain America anymore and he would lose the woman he loved but he had to make these sacrifices for Bucky. And to bring HYDRA down.

He left his phone on the table so they couldn't track it and wrote a short note for Nat. There were so many things he wanted to write.

 _I love you. I wanted to spend my life with you. I always thought we would get married one day. Please don't hate me. I'm also doing this for you. For your safety._

But in the end he didn't write any of those things. He got his suitcase and followed Bucky out of the hotel.

"You are making a terrible mistake right now, Steve." Bucky said when they got to Nat's old apartment. "You can still go back. I'm sure she's still asleep. Just let me go, Stevie. Live your life with her."

He hated to admit how much he wanted to bail on Bucky in that moment to run back to Natasha but there was no going back now. HYDRA would go after them again and again no matter how many innocent people would die. "We are putting an end to this, Bucky. Once and for all. I won't stop until your name is cleared and you can live your life the way you want to. And every member of HYDRA is either dead or captured!"

He looked at him with sadness in his eyes. "What about _your_ life? You are throwing it away right now. You have your Avengers. And you have a girl who loves you and wants to be with you and you jeopardize that for me? I'm not worth it, Steve. Please go back to her!"

He shook his head softly and squeezed his shoulder. "I'm with you till the end of the line, pal."

* * *

Of course Ward had already left Texas when she got there. Natasha checked out the bar he had frequently visted during his stay and after some asking around she found a young woman who had a fling with him and thankfully the woman was pissed and pretty chatty. She didn't seem to know who Ward really was because he told her that he was a business man from L.A and on a trip here. He fucked her a few times and promised her a lot and then just left. Well, if that didn't sound familiar to her. Maybe she was being unfair here, Steve did love her just not enough. Anyway, the woman told her that Ward mentioned a business transaction in Amsterdam. Something told Natasha that that wasn't just a lie Ward told but that he was actually heading there. The best spies mixed lies with the truth. She thanked the woman and agreed when she said that all men are pigs.

She was on her way to Amsterdam when she contacted Coulson who hoped that she would get information out of Ward and if she didn't need him anymore she was more than welcomed to kill him. SHIELD was going after a money trail and would tell her if they would find any names.

She had an old contact in town that she visited right after she landed. Stanislav, a former KGB agent, told her that he heard about some Nazis having a party outside of Amsterdam. He couldn't tell her if they were HYDRA or members of an right-winged group. Since it was her only clue she decided to check the old fortress out. What was it with Nazis and castles?! She drowned a few shots with Stanislav who told her not to get killed and rented a car under one of her many aliases and drove to the small town where the party would be. She wondered what Steve was doing and if he missed her as much as she missed him. She wanted to hate him because it would have made everything easier for her but she just couldn't. She loved him too damn much for that.

* * *

He and Bucky flew to Argentina to talk to the doctor they both went to before Bucky came home but they were too late. An old woman who lived in the same apartment complex told them that the man died very sudden two weeks ago. He shared a look with Bucky and knew they were thinking the same thing- HYDRA got to the doctor. Fuck, the man was the only lead they had where they knew that he had connections to HYDRA.

They came back in the dark and searched his apartment and practice but found nothing. They walked by a kiosk on their way back to the quinjet and Bucky's face was on the cover of every newspaper. They were really lucky that the old lady didn't recognize them when they talked to her earlier. It didn't look like the world already knew that Captain America was on the run with the Winter Soldier. Nat seemed to protect him even though she had no reason to but he knew that it was only a matter of time until it would leak that he went rogue.

"Do you remember anything else? Names or at least faces?" He asked Bucky when they were back at the quinjet.

"No, sorry." Bucky looked to the ground. "I wish I was more useful. You can still go back, Steve."

He sighed, they had been over this before. "Do you remember a location maybe?"

Bucky closed his eyes in concentration. "There were a lot of HYDRA activities in Romania. I stayed there a couple of months to track them down. There still have to be active HYDRA cells in Bucharest."

He had been in Romina in his search for Bucky. East Europe was far away from the States and a political chaos. A good hiding place, maybe there were more HYDRA bases than the one he took down with Sam and Nat months ago. "Okay, Bucharest it is."

* * *

The party at the fortress did indeed turn out to be a HYDRA one. She snuck in as one of the servants and looked through the crowd for Ward but couldn't find him. Either he was alreay here and left or he wouldn't come at all. He had a three day headstart since Texas and he could be already somewhere else. She observed the crowd and one man stood particularly out. People were nervous to talk to him and kept their distance, he was definitely on top of the food chain. She looked briefly at her reflection on a silver platter to check if her blonde wig and brown contacts were still in place and followed him when he left the room.

She shoved him with her elbow on his throat against a wall when she was sure that they were alone in the hallway. The music was so loud that no one would hear him scream if he did. He seemed to realize that too because he didn't make a sound.

"Who ordered the attack on the White House?" She put more pressure on his throat.

He choked a bit. "Wie sind Sie hier reingekommen?"

He decided to speak German? What a cliché! "Ach, das war nicht sonderlich schwer!" She smirked. She loosened her hold on his throat to only put pressure on it again when he tried to fill his lungs with air. "Wer steckt hinter dem Anschlag?"

"Die amerikanische Abteilung von HYDRA." He choked out. "Wir kennen die Namen der Anderen nicht, um sie nicht preis zugeben."

Fuck, that was smart. What did Fury always say? _No one spills the secrets because nobody knows them all._

She grabbed her gun that was hidden under her skirt and pressed it into his side. "An Ihrer Stelle würde ich anfangen zu reden."

He gulped and sweat was forming on his forehead. She knew that she had him. He would tell her what he knew. It maybe wasn't much but it would maybe get her a step closer to solving this whole mess. "Im Nationalmuseum von Bukarest ist eine Liste mit allen aktiven HYDRA Zellen versteckt. Ich weiß nicht wo im Museum, aber die Liste ist da. Die amerikanischen Zellen stehen auch darauf."

She could see in his eyes that he didn't have more information for her. She let go of him and took a few steps back. He looked relieved and clearly didn't know how she was or he would have known what would happen next. She aimed the gun at him and pulled the trigger. He sank to the floor with a bullet in his head.

"Fuck HYDRA!" She fled the castle and tipped the Dutch authorities of so they could arrest the rest of HYDRA. She didn't have the time to wipe out the entire party. She jumped into her rental car and raced back to the quinjet. She started the plane and FRIDAY told her that she would be in three hours in Bucharest.

* * *

Translation:

 _-How did you get in here?_

 _-That wasn't that hard. Who's behind the attack?_

 _-The American devision of HYDRA. We don't know the names of the others to not reveal them._

 _\- If I were you I would start talking_

 _-There is a list in the national museum in Bucharest with the locations of every active HYDRA cell. I don't know where in the museum but it's there. The American cells are on there too."_


	42. Chapter 42

**This chapter is rated M for some sentences**

* * *

Chapter 42

Summer had already hit Bucharest and she had to go to the nearest Zara to buy a few summer dresses. It was way too hot for jeans and a woman in a sweet flowery dress didn't seem dangerous. It was long enough to cover her thigh holsters and she thanked Tony in her mind for making her Black Widow bracelets look like normal jewelery. No one would think her shiny bracelets had enough volts to bring down a supersoldier.

Tony had send her a text informing her that he and the others were now working with Coulson's SHIELD and tracked down a HYDRA cell in Canada. She didn't think they would find anything there since the HYDRA leader in Amsterdam told her that all cells operated on their own so they wouldn't all go down if one cell was discovered.

It was early afternoon and she bought a ticket to the national museum to check it out and to look for places the list could be hidden. Was it a handwritten list or saved on a USB drive?

The museum was over 8000 square meters big and she should prepare herself to spend maybe a few days here until she would find the list. FRIDAY had already booked her a hotel room so she had a place to stay if she had to be here longer. She spent the day walking around the place and hid herself when the museum closed. She checked a few spaces where something could have been hidden but came up with nothing. She left at dawn to go to her hotel and to get some sleep. She put on another summer dress, armed herself and took the trolley back to the museum. Today she would go to the National Gallery- maybe they had hid the list under a painting. She had an app on her Starkphone that would shut off the alarm system when she moved a painting. She hid again until the place was closed and checked under every painting but found nothing.

Where did HYDRA hide that fucking list? She was now roaming through the museum on her third night and still found nothing. She was on her way to the Medieval Art Gallery when her senses told her that she wasn't alone anymore. Was it the guard that walked every hour through this wing? He had been here only half an hour ago. Maybe he changed his tatic. She was about to hide in a corner to check out who was out there when suddenly someone pressed their body against her and covered her mouth with a hand. She tried to shake them off but they wouldn't move an inch. Fuck, this person was really strong and smelled familiar for some reason.

She blinked a few times and her eyes could finally make out in the dark who was pressing her against the wall. It was Steve. He shook his head and she heard how someone was walking close by. The heavy steps told her it was the guard.

She wanted to scream and to punch him for leaving her alone. For leaving her alone to deal with this fucking mess. For leaving her and breaking her heart. But said heart betrayed her and she melted against his body. They had been only apart for five days but she thought she would never see him again and she missed him so much. The guard was gone but Steve didn't move away from her but he did pull his hand away from her mouth. She wanted to say something, she should kick him in the nuts or put him in a chokehold but she didn't do any of those things. They just stared at each other and when Steve opened his mouth to say something she grab his face and crashed their lips together. She didn't want to hear his excuses right now. It wasn't a soft and gentle kiss, she took her anger out on him and bit his lips and dugged her nails into his scalp. He let her and only pressed closer to her and she could feel him getting hard. It was all so wrong but she wanted him right now so badly. They didn't stop kissing when she unbuckled his jeans or when she wrapped her legs around his waist. Thank god she was wearing one of those ridiculous summer dresses. She reached between them to slid her panties to the side and to guide him into her. He fucked into her hard and fast like he was as desperate as she was and she bit his shoulder to muffle her moans and tugged on his hair violently until he made her climax with a deep and hard thrust. He followed her and only after they came down from their orgasms it hit her what they had done.

What the fuck was wrong with her? She was so fucking mad at him and yet she let him fuck her against a wall in a museum in Romania? She pushed him away from her and straightened her dress over thighs and tried to catch her breath. She was miserable in the last days and at the first sight of him she jumped his bones? They hadn't even talked to each other yet but had sex. Great, Natasha. You are so fucking stupid.

"Nat..." Steve whispered softly but he looked ridiculous stuffing his dick back into his pants.

"Don't" She snarled. She was so mad at him and at herself. What woman lets her ex-boyfriend (cause that's what he was, wasn't he) fuck her after he disappeared on her?

He reached for her but she stepped back and walked around the corner only to smack into someone's chest. A flesh and a metal arm wrapped around her and Bucky whispered into her ear how sorry he was for everything.

Of course he was also here. She didn't think Bucky had every hugged her before. She didn't know what was going on inside her but everything was suddenly too much and she started to cry. She was ashamed for not being able to stop her sobs but Bucky cradled her and rubbed her back in a soothing manner. She heard footsteps and Steve was probably standing behind them. She hated him but oh she loved him so much. She almost laughed at how weird her life was. Captain America fucked her in a museum after breaking her heart and dumping her for his best friend and said best friend who happened to be the Winter Soldier who also shot her twice was now holding her in his arms and letting her wet his shirt with her tears. This never happened to Kathering Heigl in her movies!

"I told him to stay with you." Bucky whispered and her sobs grew louder. Of course he did. Bucky was a nice guy and she considered him a friend.

"Natasha?" That was Steve who sounded shocked and unsure.

She growled and Bucky's hold tightened around her. Steve didn't say anything else and she didn't know how long Bucky held her but her tears finally stopped and she took a step back. "I don't know what came over me."

Bucky gave her a kind smile."It's okay. Those last days must have been hell for you. And then running into Steve and..." Bucky trailed off blushing. Great so he knew what happened between her and Steve against that wall.

"Bucky? Did you do it?"

He shook his head. "No, I swear it!"

She believed him and nodded. Bucky seemed relieved and told her that the got lured out of the Tower and couldn't remember what happened after that but he knew that he didn't leave New York. Someone must have posed as him. That could have been still HYDRA. Maybe they didn't know how to trigger him but their plan was still to blame the Winter Soldier.

"So you're here for the list too?" She asked Bucky.

"Yes. We found a HYDRA member who told us about it. I take it you didn't find it yet?"

"No, this is my third night searching for it." She turned around but Steve wasn't there. Did he leave again? God she hated how much that hurt her.

"He went looking for the list." Bucky explained. Was her panic so transparent?

She chewed on her lip. "Did he...did you talk about me?" She didn't want to hear it but she had to know if he was at least as miserable as she had been.

"He thinks he was keeping you safe that way. Felt obligated to help me because of a promise we made each other decades ago." Bucky grimaced. "You should talk to him about it. But he did miss you. I could see it on his face when he thought I wasn't looking." He gave her a small smile. "If you want me to beat him up for you, just say so."

She had to laugh despite feeling like shit. "Thanks, Bucky. But I want to do that myself."

Bucky grinned and helped her search the wing but they didn't find anything. Where was that fucking list.

Steve was waiting for them at the entrance of the wing and he at least had the decency to look guilty. "Nata-"

She ignored him and turned to Bucky. She didn't want their help, wait that wasn't true she didn't want Steve's help but three people would cover more ground than one. "I take it you're gonna be here again tomorrow night to keep looking?"

Bucky nodded.

"Okay, then til tomorrow." She said to him and wanted to leave but then she turned to Steve. He opened his mouth but she beat him to it and slapped him as hard as she could. Her hand was throbbing in pain but it was worth it. He hurt her so much, she wanted to hurt him too.

He held his cheek in shook but nodded. "I deserved that."

"You're damn right." She answered and turned on her heels and walked away.

She ran to her hotel and jumped right under the shower to wash Steve off of her. She wanted to call Laura to tell her about everything that happened. She and Clint didn't know that Steve left her. She didn't think it would help the cause of the Avengers if Hawkeye killed Captain America with one of his arrows. She tried to ignore how good it had felt to finally have Steve inside her again. She could still feel him, she cursed herself for lusting after him and crawled under the cool blankets. FRIDAY picked a really nice hotel for her with silky and smooth sheets. She checked her phone and Sam had send her a text telling her that they raided the Canadian HYDRA base but found nothing on DC or the Winter Soldier. And Sam asked her if she knew if Bobbi was seeing anyone. She wondered if she should tell Sam that she knew where Steve and Bucky where.

The text message would be something like this:

 _Too bad that HYDRA raid was a bust. Bobbi has a thing with her ex-husband Hunter. Oh btw, I ran into Steve and Bucky. Yeah, despite being fucking furious with Steve I had sex with him next to a painting of a famous Romanian artist._

She only sent the part about HYDRA and Bobbi. She was already embarrassed enough that Bucky knew that she had spread her legs for Steve ten seconds after she had seen him again despite what he had done to her.

What if Steve wouldn't be there tomorrow? What if he would leave her again? And even if he did show up where would they go from here? Would he and Bucky disappear again after they found the list? Should she go with them to get to the truth? And what about Steve and her? Were they done for good? Did he want her back or was he done with her for good? Did she still want to be with him? Would she always fear that he would leave her again? Could she live like that?

Needless to say that she didn't get much sleep that night with all those thoughts running through her head.

* * *

let me know what you think


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

"You shouldn't have slept with her."

They were back at their quinjet hidden on the property of an abandoned factory outside Bucharest. He knew that Bucky was right. He shouldn't have slept with her, what had he been thinking? Well, he hadn't been thinking at all when her body was pressed against him and she kissed him. He missed her so fucking much and then there she suddenly was in a summer dress walking through the museum and looking for the list. She looked so beautiful and he hated himself for being such an ass to her. He left her in the middle of the night and then five days later he fucked her against a wall in a museum? His ma would be so disappointed in him.

He sighed. "I didn't plan for it to happen."

"What are you gonna do now?"

He shrugged his shoulders. He had no idea. He wanted to be with her but he also had to help Bucky to prove his innocence. And HYDRA was still out there. It was already bad enough that she was running around Bucharest looking for that list. What if HYDRA found out about it and killed her? If anything happened to her, he would lose his mind.

"I don't know, Buck."

"You have to apologize and if you're lucky she might take you back."

"Maybe she shouldn't take me back."

"What?" Bucky stared at him.

"If we don't get to the truth, we can never go back, Buck. They'll kill you or throw you in the deepest cell they can find. I don't want Nat to be on the run forever or get killed in the crossfire. She worked so hard to build herself a life, I can't take that away from her."

Bucky's expression hardended. "Are you really that full of yourself?!"

"What?"

"Mabye you should ask her what she wants?! Did it ever occur to you that she is capable of forming her own opinion? And that maybe we would be more successful if we worked together? I mean did you even read her file?! The Black Widow is a legend!"

"Yeah but..."

"No buts. You're gonna talk to her tomorrow and ask her what she wants. I wouldn't blame her if she doesn't want you back." He sat down on his cot in the back of the quinjet. "You really screwed this up. And try not to sleep with her until you sort this out! She's already confused enough!"

* * *

Natasha went to the museum an hour before it closed and pretended to look at the current exhibition of the Romanian crown jewels. She felt like someone was watching her and she wondered if Steve and Bucky were already here. Would they even show up? Would Bucky come alone or would they not come at all? She hated how insecure she was feeling right now. Did it really matter if they showed up? She could find this list on her own if she had to and fix this mess on her own as well.

It was announced that the museum would soon close and she hid in her usual hiding spot until everyone was gone. She walked back to the jewel exhibition and checked for the list but didn't find it. She started to think that HYDRA was maybe messing with her. Or that someone had already taken it. Who could know the exact hidding place? Who would be interested in it to gain more power? Only one name came to her mind-Ward! He could have been here to get to the list. If she didn't find it tonight she would search for Ward tomorrow.

She heard footsteps, the person wanted her to know that they were coming. It was either Steve or Bucky. She hoped it would be Bucky. She didn't want to face Steve.

"Hey..." She had no luck and it was Steve.

She turned around and didn't move an inch towards him. She was so furious with him but all she wanted to do was run into his arms but she was stronger than that. She wouldn't give into that.

"What?" She barked and her voice echoed through the hall.

"I..." He began and came a step closer. She took one back and Steve stopped and looked like she slapped him again.

"I never meant to hurt you, Natasha. I am sorry for that. It's just I made Bucky a promise and I have to keep it."

She got loyalty, okay? She would follow Clint into hell if he asked her to but she still deserved at least a proper goodbye for fuck's sake. "So you just throw everything under the bus? You just throw me away? You know how hard it was for me to let you in!"

He shut his eyes. "I do know that. I know that you would have come with us if I asked you but I couldn't." He opened his eyes. "I was trying to protect you! You are my life, Natasha! I'm trying to keep you safe! You are the most important thing to me!"

"You have a funny way of showing that!" She spit out. "Don't you see that you made everything worse that way? People are gonna think you're HYDRA if they find out you've gone rogue and went with the Winter Soldier!"

"We bring HYDRA down-"

"And how? This is my fourth night looking for it and I found nothing!"'

He looked desperate. "Then Bucky and I..."

"Stop it! You don't even have a plan, do you?"

"Do you?" He shot back.

"Yeah, I do! If this turns out to a bust, I'll go after Ward."

"Ward from Coulson's team?"

She nodded. "Yeah, he's HYDRA." She turned around and walked out of the room. "Oh by the way-" She said over her shoulder. "SHIELD's not gone. Coulson is rebuilding it."

She didn't wait for an answer and checked the next hall. Steve was right behind her and grabbed her elbow and turned her around.

"Please, don't go like that."

She shook him off. "At least I didn't disappear on you in the middle of the night without saying a word!"

"I now know that was wrong. No, that's not true. I knew it was wrong when I did it." He sighed and she saw tears in his eyes. Her first instinct was to comfort him but she fought against it. If anyone should be comforted it should be her! "I am sorry. I wanted to keep you out of it. I didn't want to ruin your life. I should have told you about my plan. I am sorry!"

She crossed her arms. She was still mad at him but she could see that he regretted causing her pain. Of course he did, he was Steve. Steve who was an idiot but never did anything with the intention of hurting someone. "I believe you."

He was visibly relieved. "Do you...do you still love me?"

Of course she still loved him but she couldn't forget the pain of the last days. "Yes, but I'm not sure I still want to." She admitted.

Steve looked like someone punched him in the gut. "That seems fair."

"Do you still love me?" She asked after an awkward silence between them. She had her doubts in the last days. She wasn't proud of it but if she had to choose between Steve and Clint, she would have chosen Steve. Now she wasn't so sure anymore.

"Of course I do. More than I could possibly say. Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever done. And the dumbest." He swallowed. "Almost 40 people died and I knew that HYDRA would stop at nothing to get their way. I thought by doing this without you, you would be safe."

She stared at him. In his mind it made probably sense. Didn't she leave him after DC to hunt down her enemies to keep him safe because they would have come after him to get to her? "You could have at least said goodbye to me." She whispered. "It was like someone ripped my heart out when I realized that you were gone."

He was now fighting back tears." I couldn't have left if we talked before."

"What happens now?" Would he leave with Bucky again? She had to return to New York eventually, she couldn't just vanish. Ross and Malick wouldn't support the Avengers Initiative if another member disappeared on them.

"I don't know. I can't let Bucky do this alone. It's too dangerous. If HYDRA gets its hands on him..."

She nodded. Yes that would be terrible. Should she let Steve and Bucky track down Ward? What if Ward somehow knew how to trigger the Winter Soldier?

"Let's just keep looing for that list for now." She finally said and he nodded.

* * *

Steve kept looking at her while they searched another wing of the museum and he was dying to know what she was thinking. She said she still loved him but she wasn't sure if she still wanted to. His heart broke when she said it. He knew that he deserved it but he was selfish and he wanted her to love him-forever. He just didn't know if he still had the right to want that. He cursed HYDRA and himself. Without the attack on the White House they would still be in New York and maybe already presenting Bucky's case to the AG.

If he was honest he wanted to go back with her to New York. He wanted to prove to her that he would never do something like that again. God, he had been thinking about asking her to marry him in the foreseeable future and then he broke her heart. He wanted to win her heart back but he couldn't leave Bucky behind. He failed him once, he couldn't do it again. Bucky had always been there for him, he had to repay the favour.

Natasha was currently swiping her hand under a table looking for the list. "Ouch"

"What's wrong?"

She sucked her finger into her mouth. "I cut myself."

He looked under the table and there was a piece of broken glass stuck into the underside of it. Weird. He pulled it out and held it against his flash light. Something was written on it. In German. HYDRA? His German was pretty limited and he showed the piece to Nat.

"He liked his women curvy." She translated and put a small bandage on her finger. Where did she get that?

"What?" He stared at the piece of glass. "What the fuck does that mean?"

Her eyes lit up. "Rubens!"

"What?"

"Aren't you the artist between the two of us?" She turned on her heels and ran to the European Art Gallery. "Rubens painted big women. The Germans have a word for it. Rubensfigur or Rubensfrau. They have a painting from Rubens here!"

She ran through the hall and stopped in front of a portrait of a woman. "I already checked under the paintings but maybe..." She pulled her Starkphone out and used UV light on the portrait. "I feel like Robert Langdon." On the left corner on the bottom of the painting was something written. Again in German. "I know where the list is!" Nat exclaimed. "Follow me!"

He jogged behind her to another wing of the museum. She stopped in front of a wooden stair case and began knocking on the banister. "Where's Bucky by the way?"

"Searching the Theodor Palladay wing. He wanted to give us time to talk." He explained. Bucky said that he shouldn't bother looking for him until he apologized to Nat.

She kept knocking and suddenly the wood sounded hollow. She looked up at him and grinned. "I think we found it."

Well, technically she found it. She jiggled the wood until she could get it off. They both looked into the banister. There was a piece of paper in it but he really thought a list with every HYDRA cell around the globe would be bigger. Nat pulled it out and unfolded it. She gritted her teeth and handed the paper over to him.

 _You're too late_

Someone got the list before them. Fuck, they were right where they started. That list had been their only lead. "Who do you think took it?" He asked her.

She clenched her jaw. "Ward." She put the wood piece back into the bannister. "He wants to climb up the ladder at HYDRA. He's using it to gain influence."

"We need to find him."

She nodded and gave him a cautious look. "I've been tracking him from Dallas to here with SHIELD's help. We're going after him together." He knew that any objection would be pointless at this point. "I know I have to go back to Manhattan soon but Coulson gave me an order."

"What order?" She didn't work for SHIELD anymore. She probably thought she owed Coulson a debt.

"We find Ward, get intel from him and then I'm gonna to kill him." She said with conviction on her voice.

He knew that look on her face, she had made up her mind. Grant Ward was a dead man walking. He wondered what she had decided about her and him. Was there hope that she would take him back one day? Did he blow his only chance at love?

* * *

 _Thank you for your reviews, faves and follows! They keep me motivated:)_


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

She called Tony from her hotel to tell him that someone already took the list. She voiced her suspicion that it had to be Ward and that she would go after him. She considered to tell him about Steve and Bucky but decided eventually against it. It was better if no one knew about them. She promised Tony to be careful and to come back to the States if she didn't find Ward soon. Apparently the Council wanted to have a meeting with all of the Avengers. Tony promised to buy her more time. She almost felt sorry for Ross and Malick, Tony's tatics for distraction were sometimes a bit much. She thanked him and ended the call. She needed to find Ward soon. He was hopefully the key to all of this. She didn't think he was behind the attack on the White House but she was sure that he knew who ordered it.

She was a bit scared that Steve and Bucky wouldn't be at the location they gave her yesterday but they were both standing on the field of an abandoned property when she landed her quinjet next to the one Steve stole.

Steve looked like he didn't know how to greet her when she walked down the ramp and she didn't know it either. Did she want him back? Yes. But was she ready to forgive him? Not really. Bucky gave her a warm smile and walked her into their quinjet. She almost laughed at the fact that the Winter Solider turned out to be a calming presence in her life. She was so glad she was not alone with Steve right now. She didn't trust herself to be alone with him. Who knew what she would do, maybe something stupid like having sex with him again.

FRIDAY was going through every traffic and surveillance cam around the world and would alert her if Ward showed up. Steve kept glancing at her while Bucky informed her about what they had been doing in the last days. They had been in Argentina and then came to Romania to track down leads. HYDRA was really good at covering their tracks. They agreed that someone who had influence in Washington had to be behind the attack. Maybe someone who wanted a higher position. Elections were next year and people wanted a strong leader and President Ellis still didn't bring the Winter Soldier in. That could backfire next year at the voting polls.

Bucky suddenly got up and announced that he would get food for them. She was pretty sure she looked as panicked as Steve did when Bucky walked down the quinjet ramp. They both stared after him until he disappeared out of their sight. Should she go back to her quinjet and wait until Bucky was back? No, she wasn't a coward and she knew she had to work with Steve to bring down HYDRA and that weird thing between them could jeopardize the whole operation.

"If we don't find Ward and don't get to the truth, Steve. What's your plan?"

"I can't let them kill Bucky."

She gave him a sad smile."I know. I don't want that either."

"He'll have to be on the run for the rest of his life..."

"And you want to be by his side." She finished for him.

He seemed defeated. "I have to. I owe it to him."

"I know a thing or two about debts." She sighed. "What does that mean for us?"

"I want to be with you, I need you to know that. But I don't want you to throw everything away to be on the run with us. I can't ask you to do that."

Could she do that? Leave everything behind for him? Never see Clint and his family again to keep them safe? Change her name and appearance and move to Australia? She would have done all those things for him. She loved him, she loved him more than anything. But what if she came with them and one morning Steve was gone again? She realized in that moment that she lost some of the unconditional trust she had in him.

"I don't know what to do." She said honestly and hoped that they would find Ward soon and get their answers from him.

"Do you want to figure it out?" He asked softly. "Together?"

"I can't just pretend the last days didn't happen, Steve. I asked you to never leave me and you did."

"And I will regret that for the rest of my life."

She wanted to be with him again but it would take time. Time to heal her broken heart and for him to regain her trust. "We track down Ward and then we'll see where it takes us."

"Whatever you want."

* * *

Bucky thankfully returned shortly after with lunch and they ate it in silence. Her phone started ringing and she saw that Matt was calling her. She had been dodging his calls since the attack because she didn't know what to tell him and HYDRA obviously knew that Matt was Bucky's lawyer because someone posed as his assistant to lure Bucky out of the Tower. She had the theory that whoever got him out of the tower was unsuccessful in triggering the Winter Soldier and must have drugged Bucky. It was the only was she could explain Bucky's memory loss.

"Don't you wanna get that?" Bucky asked.

She shook her head and pressed ignore on her phone. Matt was probably pissed at her but what was she supposed to do. She didn't think he wanted to deal with Nazis besides his weird ninja stuff. She scrolled through her phone until she got to the files of Ward. She found a picture of him and held her phone up to show it to Bucky.

"I know your memory is not the best but have you ever seen this man?"

Bucky looked at the picture for a few moments. "No, I'm sorry. That Ward?"

"Yup." She nodded and checked if one of her contacts sent her something on the bastard but nothing. Damn, where was he? Where would she go if she was in his shoes? Did Ward really lead HYDRA or did he just want money? She read Coulson's files on him, apparently he never considered himself to be a real HYDRA member and tried to get sympathy from his old team members. If you were running around with Nazis and killed for them that made you a Nazi in her book. She read what he did to Agents Hand and Koenig, what he did to Fitzsimmons. She couldn't wait to put a bullet in his brain. Fitz was a nice and brilliant man, he didn't deserve what Ward did to him. None of them did.

"Natasha?"

She was so deep in thought that she didn't notice that they were talking to her. "Yeah?"

"Your phone is beeping again."

She looked at her phone that was still in her hands and saw that FRIDAY sent her grainy pictures of a man and according to facial recognition there was a 77% chance that it was Grant Ward. The photo from the traffic cam was two hours old and taken on Crete. What the fuck was he doing there? HYDRA was a Greek word. Did they have a resort there?!

"I hope you boys packed sun screen." She stood up.

Bucky and Steve gave her puzzled looks.

"Looks like we're going to Crete. There is a 77% chance that Ward is there doing god knows what."

* * *

Steve and Bucky followed her in their quinjet to Crete. The island wasn't that far away from Bucharest and they reached their destination after two hours. Natasha wondered what the hell Ward was doing here. Her gut told her that the man on the photo was Ward and the chances that he was still in Crete were pretty high. But why was he here? Did HYDRA hide something here?

Bucky stayed at the quinjet because a guy with a metal arm was pretty obvious. Steve on the other hand grew a beard over the last days and was with a baseball cap on his head pretty incognito. She wore one of her summer dresses and walked with him to the place where Ward was last spotted. FRIDAY was going through every security cam and server on the island to find him.

Thankfully FRIDAY alerted her that Ward showed up on the background of some instagram post. Thank fuck for teenagers taking pictures all the time. The photo was uploaded five minutes ago and she raced them in their rental car to the area the photo was taken. They look around the small village but didn't see him. The village was surrounded by hills and on one hill was a mansion. Steve was looking at it too.

"You think he's there?" He asked her and she nodded.

"Yeah. It's the perfect place to overlook the area. We can't drive up there, we have to walk." Which also meant that Steve couldn't take his shield with him or they would be immediately made. He didn't seem to be very happy with the fact that he had to leave it in the car and had to take one of her guns. They climbed their way up the hill through bushes who scratched on her naked legs, she should've really worn pants. Steve was behind her and when she looked over her shoulder she caught him looking under her skirt.

"Really, Rogers?!" She couldn't help but laugh.

He blushed and looked away from her legs. "Sorry."

She had to snort."Well, it's not like you haven't seen it before."

He chuckled and the way he looked at her made her heart race. Despite what he'd done to her she was still head over heels in love with him. A bit dizzy on her feelings for him she missed her step and stepped on a lose rock. She lost her balance but Steve caught her in his arms and helped her stand.

"You okay? Are you hurt?"

She shook her head and fought against her desire to kiss him. Nope, she wasn't ready for that yet. She thanked him and got back to climbing up the hill. A few minutes later they reached the top and hid in the shadows of the big trees. Two cars were parked but she didn't see anyone. Everyone must be inside. She made FRIDAY hack a satellite and infrared cameras showed three individuals. Should be a piece of cake for her and Steve to take them down.

They snuck to the backside of the villa and Steve used his enhanced hearing to check the area. "It's clear."

They went inside and swiped the floor. A big man with a HYDRA tattoo on his arm was with his back to them and before he could react Steve had him already in a chokehold. She walked further into the house and shot another man before he could pull his gun. She hoped that Ward didn't hear it. She creeped up the stairs careful to not make any noises. There was only one person left and it had to be Ward. The other two had been probably his lackeys.

She stopped in front of an opened double door and a man was standing with his back a few feet in front of her. The hair colour and body shape fitted Ward. He was on the phone and when she heard his voice she knew she was right. It was Ward.

"I keep telling you, Coulson. You will never find me. I'm always two steps ahead of you." He paused to listen to Coulson. Was Ward really so full of himself and called Coulson? "Please as if Romanoff could find me!" He laughed. What an arrogant ass! "Too bad she didn't turn out to be HYDRA. I don't know what she sees in Captain America. He seems so boring!"

He knew about her and Steve?! How? They weren't keeping their relationship a secret per se anymore but they also hadn't been flaunting it. Did all of HYDRA know about them?

"Was good to talk to you, Phil." He laughed again. "I'll send you a postcard."

He was still occupied with his phone and she used the chance to attack him. He tried to grab his gun from the back of his pants but she got it before him and threw it out the window. She hit him hard on the head and stung him with a widow bite. He went groaning to the floor.

"What the fuck!" He screamed at her and she could only smirk.

She aimed her gun at him. "Don't move if you don't want a hole in your head."

Steve must have heard the fight because he came running up the stairs. Ward looked annoyed that Captain America was here.

"Where's the list?"

"You're too late. It's destroyed."

"What do you mean?" Steve asked. Was Ward telling the truth?

"I burned it in exhange for a lot of money." He explained and moved.

"Don't!" She put her finger on the trigger of her gun. "Don't test me, Ward!"

He rolled his eyes. "The video of me burning the list is on my phone. The buyer wanted prove."

Steve grabbed his phone and checked. "Looks like you're burning it but something tells me you're smart enough to make a copy."

Ward grinned. "Maybe, maybe not. Who knows."

She shot Ward in the leg. "Answer him." Now it was her turn to grin.

"You think that makes me talk, Romanoff? Everyone here can withstand torture." He whined in pain.

She shrugged her shoulders and shot him in the kneecap. "Maybe, maybe not. But it sure makes fun to shoot you." She turned to Steve. "I need you to hold him while I shoot him in the lower back to paralyze him. It's tough to find the right spot. I might need a few tries."

Just like she knew he would, Steve went along and walked over to Ward who looked terrified. "Okay, okay! The list is in my bedroom in my dopp kit."

"Go check." She told Steve while she didn't let Ward out of her sight. He was gritting his teeth in pain. Oh, how she enjoyed this picture.

Steve came back with a piece of paper."Looks legit. There are cells on it we took down in the last months."

Finally, they had something! "Do you know who is behind the attack on the President?"

Ward changed his sitting position and groaned in pain. "You think I give up my last bargaining chip? You'll kill me if I tell you!"

"I'll kill you either way, Ward. It's up to you if you go quick or if I slowly kill you in ways you can't even imagine." She smirked at him. "The Red Room was quite creative in that area."

He looked like he was weighing his options and the look on his face told her that he knew that he wasn't going to leave Crete alive. "I only came in contact with him recently. Tried to overpower him and take his position in HYDRA but he offered me a nice amount of money if I got that list for him. He knew that the Avengers would eventually go after it."

"Who is it?" Steve barked.

Ward grinned. "Someone who was at that gala but miraculously left ten minutes before the attack. Someone who has been supporting your case despite backlash from the other members of his offical job."

Oh God. He was talking about Gideon Malick! He told her how lucky he was that he and his daughter left before the explosion. "It's Malick!"

"The Councilman?" Steve asked surprised.

Of course it was Malick! No one would suspect him. Who thought that the man who defended the President and the Avengers was behind the attack? The man who appeared on CNN two days ago and said that the Winter Soldier was a victim of HYDRA? God, he had played her the whole time and she didn't notice it.

"What's his plan?"

Ward looked at Steve and sighed in annoyance. "Probably wants the Winter Soldier back and to make sure the Avengers are done for good."

She had to give it to Malick, he was smart. The attack and blaming the Winter Soldier for it almost destroyed the Avengers. It still could if they couldn't prove that it wasn't Bucky and that he had been set up. They needed bulletproof evidence that Malick was behind it. He was too powerful and admired in DC to just accuse him of being HYDRA. He did manange to hide his involvement when SHIELD fell.

"Anything else you like to say?" She asked Ward who just shook his head. She nodded and pulled the trigger. Ward fell backwards to the floor. He would never hurt someone again.

She and Steve walked down the hill in silence both lost in their thoughts. The best way to play this was if she would go back to New York and pretend like nothing happened. She had to make Malick think she didn't know that he was HYDRA. She would tell Coulson about Ward's death when she was on her way back to the States so SHIELD could deal with the body. Steve and Bucky couldn't come with her. If Bucky got arrested, she was sure that Malick didn't want Bucky to die, Malick would get his hands on him and that couldn't happen. She drove them to the field where the quinjets were hidden.

Bucky was coming towards them. "How did it go?"

"We got the list." Steve pulled it out of his jeans.

"And we know who ordered the attack." She added and Bucky looked at her with interest. "Malick."

"The man from the World Council?"

She nodded and Bucky whistled. "Wow, HYDRA is really everywhere. And now?"

She had been thinking about that. "You and Steve stay away from the US and can take down HYDRA cells in Europe. I go back and act like nothing happened to find out what Malick's next steps are. We need a lot more than what we have right now to get him and to prove you're not behind the attack, Bucky."

Bucky nodded but Steve looked sad. "Natasha..." He began but then stopped like he didn't know what to say.

Bucky hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you for everything. And be careful!"

She smiled at him. "You too, Bucky."

He left her alone with Steve and walked up the ramp of the quinjet.

"I guess this time I get a goodbye?" She only halfjoked.

"I am so sorry for that. I will do whatever it takes to come back to you, Nat." He paused. "If you want me to."

"Yes, I do."

He smiled. "I will make it up to you, I promise. I love you, Natasha."

She couldn't say it back but she cupped his face and poured everything she felt for him into her kiss. He kissed her back with desperation and she believed him that he regretted what he did to her.

"How do we stay in contact?" He kissed her again. "Can we even stay in contact?"

"Wait! I have something!" She pulled her bag out of the car and shoved a flip phone in his hands. "My number is on it. Call me."

"I will." He kissed her again and she watched the quinjet take off before she got into her own. She informed Coulson about Ward's death but didn't mention the list. She called Tony and told him that she would come home after finding nothing. She would tell Tony in person what had happen in the last days.

She didn't know exactly where she stood with Steve right now but she thought that the worst was over now. She knew where he was, he apologized and promised to never do it again. She could heal now while putting a stop to HYDRA's game. They were finally one step ahead of Malick.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

Natasha was tired and exhausted when she arrived back at the Tower. It was afternoon and all she wanted was to take a nap to recharge and then she would call on a group meeting. She needed to tell the others what she found out and they needed to come up with a plan on how to deal with Malick. She stopped on her way to her floor at the common floor to get some food from the kitchen. She walked into the room and there was a fucking teenager sitting at the kitchen counter eating cereal.

"How did you get in here?" She barked and the kid looked up from his bowl.

His eyes widended. "Oh my god! You're the Black Widow! You're so cool!"

Oh no was that the kid Tony had been talking about? "And you are?"

"Peter." He looked like was thinking about offering his hand but decided against it. "My name is Peter Parker, Ma'am."

God, being called ma'am by a teenager made her feel old. What was Parker doing here? She wanted to ask him but Tony waltzed into the room with a tablet in his hand. "Peter, I got an awesome idea for your suit-" He looked up and saw her. "Oh crap. Hi, Natasha."

"What is he doing here?" She pointed at the kid.

"Relax. It's not like I kidnapped him. Cap said we would help him if he needed us and he did and so we helped him." Tony sat down next to Parker. "Then I invited him over to the tower to talk about a suit for him. If the kid goes after criminals he should have at least have a real suit and not some romper."

"I made that suit myself." Parker mumbled into his cereal.

Tony patted his back. "And for that it was not that bad, kid."

She gave Tony an incredulous look. They couldn't start housing teenagers around here. They were about to go up against HYDRA. "Do your parents know about your Spiderboy thing?"

Parker's face clouded for a second. "I live with my aunt and no she doesn't know I'm _Spiderman_. She would freak out!"

"Tony,can I talk to you for a sec?"

Tony got up and followed her out of the kitchen into the hallway. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

He seemed annoyed. "Look, I'm not recruiting him. I can see that it might be a bit ludicrous. But he ran into some bad people and Sam and I helped him and I invited him to check out the tower. He's a good kid but if he keeps running around the streets in that romper of his, he's gonna get hurt. I'm just trying to help him."

Tony was probably right. If Parker continued to keep the streets of Queens safe, he needed a better suit."Fine. I'll take a nap and then we have a team meeting. The kid better be gone by than. This doesn't concern him." She didn't think HYDRA would have any problems with killing a child that got into their way.

Tony nodded. "You got it, boss."

She left Tony with Parker alone and took on her couch a two hour nap that she desperately needed. Now that she had seen and talked to Steve she was finally able to get some sleep without tossing and turning.

* * *

Natasha took a shower after her nap and checked her burner phone for messages from Steve. He hadn't called her yet or sent her a text but they've only seen each other ten hours ago so she wasn't worried. He would probably call her later.

She changed into jeans and t shirt and told FRIDAY to inform everyone to meet her in Tony's lab. Wanda and Pietro were at Columbia as FRIDAY told her and maybe that was for the best. They already had to deal with enough HYDRA in their young lives. She could still call them if she needed their help. Sam and Tony were already there and Rhodey came in a few minute after her.

"Where's Hill?" She wanted to know after she didn't show up.

"Helping Coulson."

She nodded. "What I am going to tell you can't leave this room. I am not exaggerating when I saw that we can't trust anyone."

Rhodey spoke up. "Did you get that HYDRA list?"

"Yes, but I don't have it."

"Then who does?"

She took a deep breath. "Bucky and Steve."

All three men stared at her. "What?"

So she told them how she ran into them in Bucharest and that they were after the list as well and about Ward and that they found him and took it back.

"I hope you kicked Steve in the eagles when you saw him!" Tony said. He like everyone else had been pretty mad at Steve for leaving her in the middle of the night.

 _Nope, I had sex with him two minutes after we ran into each other._ "We talked about it eventually." She simply said and hoped that they realized that she wasn't going to say more about that topic. "I gave the list to Steve and Bucky so they can bring down HYDRA cells in Europe. Bucky can't return to the States for now. Ward gave up a name." She clenched her jaw. She was mad at herself that she hadn't realized that she had been played.

"Whose name?" Sam asked and the boys were giving her expecting looks.

"Malick."

"No fucking way!" Rhodey exclaimed. "That fucking bastard!"

She wholeheartedly agreed. "Yes, he has been fooling us this whole time."

"And what do we do now?"

"Nothing. We let Malick think that we have no clue and that he is still playing us." She turned to Tony. "Do you still have these things you used on the helicarrier to hack into SHIELD?"

He nodded. "Yes and I improved them."

"Good. I wanna pay Malick a visit soon to thank him for his support and plant one of those at his house."

"Well, you get that chance sooner than you think." Tony replied. "You and me got invited to dinner at his mansion in Westchester. And now that you're back, I think we should take him up on that offer."

She jerk her head in a nod. Excellent, she thought that inviting herself over to his house might have caused suspicion. But this way Malick wouldn't suspect anything. She told Tony to contact Malick to set it up. The sooner they had access to his servers the better.

Tony and Rhodey shortly left after the briefing and Sam stayed with her and made the two of them sandwiches.

"So how was it to see Steve?" He asked her when he handed her a plate with two sandwiches.

She eyed him for a moment. She wasn't one to talk about her feelings but maybe talking about everything would help her. "Weird." Should she tell him everything? "I slept with him." She admitted and could feel herself blush. Oh great.

If Sam was surprised by that he didn't show it. "So you two made up?"

"Um, actually we had sex before that." She didn't know why she was embarrassed now or why she told him that. "But we did get to talk about what happened and he apologized. He promised he would never do it again."

"And you believe him?" Sam asked kindly and she appreachiated that he didn't immediately take Steve's side. He had been his friend longer than hers.

"Yes but I lost some of my trust in him."

"That's just natural, Natasha. And understandable."

She gave him a small smile. It was nice that someone agreed with her. She sometimes thought that because of who she and Steve were, Steve was always right and she was wrong.

They ate their sandwiches and Sam told her about how they had helped Parker.

* * *

She was going through the files they had on Malick to get to know him better when her burner phone rang. She didn't tell the others that she had it. It was her and Steve's little secret. Well, he probably told Bucky about it.

She got up from the couch and ran to the bedroom to answer it. "Hey!"

"Hi!" Her heart started racing when she heard his voice. She wished he was here so they could work on their relationship and move on.

"Where are you?"

"We're in Roma. There is a HYDRA cell outside of town. We're going after it tomorrow."

"Be careful!"

He chuckled lightly. "Of course. How are things back at home?"

It wasn't really a home anymore now that Steve was gone. He was her home. "Good, I told them about the list and Malick. They knew that I ran into you."

"Okay." He sighed. "How much do they hate me for bailing on you? And them?"

"No one hates you, Steve. We get why you thought that it was the right move at the time. We're not happy with it but we get it."

They both knew she wasn't talking about the others.

"I'm sorry I hurt you so much, Nat. The minute I walked out that door I wanted to go back to you." His voice broke a bit. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do."

"I know you're sorry." She took a deep breath. "I forgive you."

"Really?"

"Yes, I don't want to linger on that for the rest of my life. We need to move on and I want you in my life. I want to be with you."

"I love you, Natasha." His voice was full of emotion. "I don't deserve you. I love you so so much. I'm sorry!"

"I love you, too." She was finally capable of saying these three words to him again. "I love you and we'll get through this."

She told him about the dinner at Malick's house and their plan to bug him. They promised to check in on each other daily and after another love declaration they ended the call.

She crawled under the blankets and wished Steve was here to use him as her pillow. She hugged his pillow and breathed in his smell. She hated sleeping alone.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

Happy drove them two days later to Malick's mansion in Westchester. Tony seemed a bit nervous because he wasn't sure he could fool Malick but she told him that she was convinced that he could pull it off. That seemed to calm him down somehow. Malick's daughter would be there as well and she was sure that Stephanie Malick was a member of HYDRA as well. She considered to tell Malick about her relationship with Steve. He probably already knew about it since HYDRA had access to Fury's tapes from Steve's old apartment and she could manipulate Malick with it. He wouldn't suspect they knew he was HYDRA if she told him about her boyfriend. He would probably enjoy that she trusted him so much that she told him about that.

Malick's mansion looked really nice, she had to admit. They got out of the car and were already greeted by a butler.

"Good evening, Miss Romanoff. Mister Stark." He escorted them into the house and offered them drinks while they waited for the Malicks.

She had Tony's bug in her purse and would during the evening excuse herself to use the bathroom and plant it next to his office. Tony upgrated it and it didn't even had to be directly connected to a computer anymore.

Malick walked into the room with his daughter by his side. She was a pretty blonde woman who was probably her father's pride since she was an only child.

"Miss Romanoff." Malick kissed her cheek. "How lovely to see you again. Too bad you didn't find anything."

"Yes, it is." She nodded and played along. _If you only knew, you ass._

He introduced his daughter to her and Tony and they walked into the dinning room. They talked about the Avengers Initiative and Malick again promised to do everything to support their cause and she had to hand it to Tony, he really played his part very well.

"But of course they want to know if Captain Rogers will be leading the Avengers again one day." Malick said. "Some members want to inform the public that he's after the Winter Soldier." He looked at her. "Have you heard from Captain Rogers?"

"No." She let herself look sad for a minute before she gave him a sad smile. Truth was she talked to Steve this morning and tried to get him to have some fun over the phone but he was too embarrassed and stumbled over his words. It was adorable really and she rather had actual sex with him than on the phone.

"I wouldn't mention Cap to Natasha." Tony said as arranged. He covered his mouth. "Sorry, Natasha!"

Stephanie Malick looked confused. Natasha couldn't tell if it was real or not. "Why not?"

She sighed. "Well, I guess we are all friends here." She took a deep breath for show. "Stev- Captain Rogers and I used to be involved. He not only left the Avengers behind, he left me behind."

"Oh, I had no idea. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." Stephanie said. It seemed genuine but Natasha still didn't buy it. They couldn't believe anything the Malicks said.

Malick senior gave her a sympathetic look. "It's admirable that you throw yourself into your work after something like that. I hope Captain Rogers knows what he lost." He paused. "Do _you_ want Captain Rogers to lead the Avengers again, Natasha?"

She pretended to think about it. "Professional speaking yes. Personally speaking... not really." She faked a sad smile.

Malick probably didn't want Steve to come back at all. Captain America was HYDRA's no. 1 enemy. She hoped she made Malick happy with her answer. "That's understandable. You are doing an excellent job as the current team leader. Taking down that HYDRA cell in Canada? Good, very good."

She surpressed a smirk. The old man was probably pissed that that cell was gone. And he would soon realize that Steve and Bucky were about to cause more trouble for him.

She excused herself to powder her nose and hid the bug close to his office in the baseboard. Tony was telling a story about his MIT time when she came back. They enjoyed a few drinks and around midnight Happy picked them up and drove them back to the city.

"You think they bought it?" Tony asked her when they drove through the Bronx.

She nodded. "Yup. You played your part well."

She felt better now that they would, thanks to Tony's bug, find out what Malick's been up to. They would soon have access to every electronic device the Malicks owned.

* * *

Malick seemed to be careful now because in the next fews days they didn't find anything HYDRA related on his servers. But he was in contact with some politicians and business people that could be HYDRA as well. FRIDAY was currently trying to find the money sources of HYDRA in Malick's servers to cut them off. You always went after the money first.

Steve and Bucky had taken down two HYDRA cells and some people spotted Captain America in Italy and the media began to theorize that he was going after HYDRA on his own. It would help if the puplic was behind his back and to an extention behind Bucky's. Natasha talked to Bucky recently and asked him if he was okay with releasing the real identity of the Winter Soldier. The agencies didn't say yet that it was Bucky and she suspected that they didn't want the public to know about it in fear they would support Bucky and call for his immunity. Bucky was okay with releasing it but they needed to wait for the right moment. She didn't know what Malick had up his sleeve and if he could thawrt those plans. She decided that they would reveal the true identity of the Winter Soldier when they could prove 100 % that Malick was HYDRA.

And she missed Steve. She missed him so much and not knowing how long they would be apart was killing her. She was okay during the day because they were going after HYDRA and she had to attend meetings as the current leader of the Avengers but at night when she was alone at their floor? She felt miserable. She missed watching TV with Bucky and Steve. She missed making love with Steve after they went to bed and mostly she missed falling asleep in his arms.

The First Lady invited her to join her on her trip to a Women in Power conference in London. Natasha had talked to the President two days ago and informed him about Bucky's situation. She didn't tell Ellis everything but she told him that all of the Avengers were postive that Bucky was innocent and that Steve left to prove his best friend's innocence. She voiced her suspicion that HYDRA was behind it and the President didn't seem surprised. He said that he heard whispers that HYDRA was still trying to win power. She believed that he wasn't HYDRA. Members of his family were killed in WWII by Nazis and she was sure that if the President of the United States was HYDRA, they would have already come out of the shadows. She was relieved that they had Ellis in their corner and he said that if they could prove that Bucky wasn't behind it then he would consider a pardon for him. They only now needed to get Malick and his goons and then everything could go back to normal.

The conference was good. Natasha was surprised at herself that she could fit into such an environment without playing a role. She talked to many powerful women who promised to support the Avengers. Some even mentioned Captain America and how brave he was to go after HYDRA on his own. She had no doubt that those women would support Bucky if they knew that he was the Winter Soldier and a victim of HYDRA.

She thanked the First Lady for inviting her and went back to her hotel room. She wanted to call Steve and tell him about the good news. She wondered where he currently was in Europe. She wished she could go to him but the risk that Steve and Bucky would then be made was too high. She walked into her suite and sensed the presence of someone else. She smelled a woman's perfume. Whoever this woman was she wanted Natasha to know that she was here. Then she recognized the perfume, she had smelled it before. In Lagos.

"Sharon" She flipped on the light switch and Sharon was sitting in an armchair.

She gave her a small smile. "Hi, Natasha. Sorry for breaking in. We need to talk."

"Okay, I'm listening."

"I know that Steve and Barnes are running around Europe taking down HYDRA. I tried to keep them out of the CIA's eyes but they got suspicious."

That was not good. They couldn't get arrested. "And what are you doing here?"

She sighed. "Steve and his friend were spotted near Vienna. As soon as the CIA has their exact location they are going to send SWAT teams. They won't kill Steve but-"

"They won't hesitate to take out Bucky. Fuck! How long do you think it takes your people to track them?"

"Not long. Three hours tops. If you have any way to contact Steve you should do it now."

She nodded and got her burner phone out. She didn't care right now that Sharon saw it. She dialed Steve's number but he didn't pick up. It wasn't the first time that he didn't answer so she wasn't too worried but she was running out of time.

"What are you gonna do now, Natasha?"

She only had one option and she hoped it wouldn't complicate things. "I'm going after them to warn them. Thank you Sharon and wish me luck that I find them before you do."

Sharon helped her pack her stuff and drove her to the quinjet. She tried calling Steve again but he still didn't answer it. Sharon promised her to contact her if the CIA got closer to their location. She informed Tony about what happened and he asked if she needed back-up but it was probably for the best if as less Avengers as possible were involved in this.

Sharon texted her that the CIA circled Steve and Bucky's location to a suburb of Vienna. She borrowed a car as Steve would say and drove through the streets hoping to see them for some reason. At one junction she saw two military trucks, fuck they were close. She kept calling Steve and he finally picked up.

"Hey, doll. What's up?" He sounded like he had no idea what was going on.

"Where are you?" She asked him, panic clear in her voice.

"I thought you didn't want to know our exact location?" He was confused.

"The CIA is on your tails. I'm in Vienna looking for you!"

He told her the adress and she was in three minutes in front of an apartment tower that had seen better days. She didn't went for the elevator and ran up the stairs to the fifth floor where Bucky and Steve had rented an apartment. She was about to knock when the door of apartment 12 F opened and two strong arms pulled her into the place. She didn't have to look up to know it was Steve. She just enjoyed being in his arms again for a moment before she got back to business.

"You guys have to leave right now!" She yelled at Steve and Bucky who looked like he just took a nap.

"How are you even here, Nat?"

"We can chat later! Grab your stuff and then let's get out of here." She urged them and grabbed a handful of stuff and threw it into a duffelbag and the men followed her example. Her phone beeped and she checked the message from Sharon. Fuck, they were here.

"Get down! Sniper!" She screamed when she saw a red dot flashing through the room looking for Bucky. He ducked before the bullet could hit him. She crawled over the floor and looked for the sniper. She saw something gleam in the sunlight, it had to be the lens of the rifle. The sniper wasn't that far away, just on the building next to this one and she knew that she could hit him. She got her Glock out of her thigh holster and aimed at his riffle. The man was just following his orders, there was no need to kill him. She heard a loud curse and knew that she destroyed his weapon.

"Sniper's down!"

Bucky and Steve looked like they were using their enhanced hearing. She was thankful that they had it because she didn't hear a thing but both men signaled her that company was coming. Steve grabbed his shield and Bucky pulled the glove of his bionic hand. She got her other gun out of her thigh holster and released the safety catch. She had to be careful, she didn't want to kill the SWAT team. They were just doing their jobs.

"Machen Sie die Tür auf!" Someone yelled from the other side of the door. Someone threw a smoke grenade through the window but Steve quickly covered it with his shield to soften the explosion. They were using a battering ram and it wouldn't take them long to break the door down. They had to fight their way through them to get to a car. Steve nodded at her and she gave him a small smile and did the same when Bucky gave her a nod. They were Captain America, the Winter Solider and the Black Widow. They could take down a CIA SWAT team!

The door burst opened while agents came crashing through the window. She never fought along side Bucky but the three of them made an excellent team. They took down the first wave of agents with no problem and were on their way to the staircase when they met the next SWAT team. She took down one agent while another came out of nowhere and kicked her off the banister. She thought she was falling to her death when a metal hand suddenly had a firm grip on her and pulled her up. Bucky just saved her life. "Thanks, buddy!"

He gave her a quick smile. "Don't mention it."

An agent was aiming her gun at them but Steve knocked her out with his shield. "Looks like it's clear for now. Let's go."

They ran down the stairs and out of the building and where greeted by dozens of agents who had their laser dots aimed at Bucky's chest. Since she was next to him she moved in front of him.

"Move out of the way, Romanoff!" That was Everett Ross' voice. Of course he was here. Did he know that Sharon warned her?

She shook her head and stood her ground even when Bucky's hand grabbed her arm to move her out of the way. No, he was her friend and she wouldn't let them shoot him. Even if they did fire at her she knew that Steve would throw his shield between the bullets and her. But Steve moved to stand in front of her and his best friend.

"He's innocent, Ross!" Steve said making sure he was covering them with his body. They wouldn't shoot at Captain America, would they?

"Then he surely has no problem to come with us and talk to us about DC." Ross replied.

Bucky spoke up behind her. "Steve, it's okay. Let them take me. I don't want them to hurt you or Natasha."

They had no way to get out of here, surrounded by agents and guns. They had to play along for now. "Steve..." She whispered and she could see at his shoulders that he was giving up.

"No one shoots at Bucky!" Steve warned.

"You have my word, Captain!" Ross said and the agents lowered their weapons. Two agents carefully walked over to them and handcuffed Bucky. They escorted him to a maxium security van and she felt sick to her stomach. He didn't deserve any of this! He was a victim for fuck's sake!

She wondered if her and Steve would get handcuffed as well but they were escorted to a SUV without handcuffs. She prayed to anyone listening that HYDRA wouldn't get to Bucky. She had to assume that there were members within the CIA. What were they supposed to do now? She had no idea.

She looked over to Steve who was sitting next to her and he was pale and slightly shaking. He knew how bad things were now. She grabbed his hand and didn't care if the driver saw it. Steve needed her right now.

"What now?" He whispered under his breath.

"I don't know. We'll figure it out."

She asked where the driver was taking them.

"Berlin, ma'am. "

* * *

 _let me know what you think:)_


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47

Steve couldn't really comprehend what just happened. They were brought to Berlin with a police escort and Bucky was downstairs in a maxium security cell and waiting for his evaluation. He and Natasha were brought to a glass office with the friendly advice to not leave it. He had to hand over his shield and Nat had to give them her weapons.

He was pacing around the glass cube while Natasha was observing their environment. What would happen now to Bucky? Was Nat in the trouble because she was with them when they got caught? He had really no idea what he was supposed to do. All he knew was that HYDRA couldn't get their hands on Bucky. At least the list was hidden and not with them.

"Steve." Natasha looked at him and nodded at the chair next to her. "Come sit down."

He did and she laced their fingers together under the table. "We can't break him out." She whispered to him.

He had been thinking about that but that would probably make things worse for Bucky. "I know."

Sharon walked into the room before he could ask Nat if she had a plan because he couldn't come up with one. "Here are your receipts for your gear."

He smiled at her briefly. Natasha told him about Sharon's attempts to keep the CIA off their backs. "Thank you."

She nodded and Nat asked her if there were any news regarding Bucky. "His evaluation is in an hour. The specialist has to come from London."

"And what happens then?"

Sharon grimaced slightly. "He's gonna stay at the Raft until they put him on trial."

He felt his anger rising. "He didn't do it!"

Natasha placed her hand on his shoulder. "Steve, it's okay. The President might pardon him if it gets to a trial. Remember our goal? We have to keep working to get there."

Right, bringing down HYDRA. With HYDRA gone, Bucky would hopefully get free. Sharon seemed confused and Nat just shook her head.

Agents moved through the area and suddenly Tony was in front of their class cube. Ross didn't look very keen that he was here.

Tony walked by past the agents and stepped into their glass cube. Ross was right behind him. "What are you doing here, Stark?"

Tony sat down on the conference table. "I was in South France looking for a vineyard when I got the news that Rogers showed up and he and Romanoff were brought to Berlin." He smiled at Ross. "You ever been to the Branglina vineyard? I'm thinking about buying it since they are now over." Tony looked around the room. "What does one have to do to get a coffee around here?"

Ross rolled his eyes and left but not before ordering Sharon to follow him. Tony waved them goodbye and then pressed something on his watch. "Okay if there are ears listening, they can't anymore. Tell Uncle Tony what happened."

"We got caught, they're gonna throw Bucky into the Raft if HYDRA doesn't get him before that." Steve sighed. "We're fucked."

Tony's eyes widened. "Jesus, aren't you a joy to be around with right now. I talked to President Ellis, he's willing to let Bucky get transfered to Rykers so he can stay in contact with his lawyers. It doesn't look good if the President treats a brainwashed WWII hero as a war criminal. I threatened to release the true idenitiy of the Winter Soldier."

Nat gave him a proud grin. "Looks like you took a page out of my book."

Tony scoffed. "I can be menacing on my own. Thank you very much!" Tony's face darkened. "I had a call from Malick. He says that now that Bucky is captured he hopes that he can get the help he needs to heal."

Malick was probably waiting for the right moment to grab Bucky. Steve didn't think that he would let Bucky sit for the next months in a prison cell when he could use the Winter Soldier to bring down his enemies.

"What about the list?" Tony asked.

"It's safe. It's still at the quinjet in Vienna."

Tony nodded and said that he would send Rhodey to retrieve it. A few minutes later Tony told them that the CIA could now be listening again. How many HYDRA members would be within the CIA? Was Ross HYDRA? He didn't think that Sharon was HYDRA, she couldn't be. She was Peggy's relative.

Sharon walked in and leaned agains the glass wall. "I was told to watch over you. Dr. Sunil Bakshi is now here to talk to your friend. Ross got a call from Ellis that Barnes' next stop would be Rykers and not the Raft." She chucked. "Ross is pretty pissed about that."

There was a screen at the top of the corner of the room they were in and he could see how a man sat down at a desk in front of Bucky. Steve saw out of the corner of his eye that Sharon moved towards the conference table and they suddenly could hear the audio.

Dr. Bakshi introduced himself and asked Bucky if he wanted to be called James or Bucky. He asked him a few standard questions and was about to stark question him about DC when the power suddenly went out.

"This can't be a coincidence." Natasha said and he had to agree. Something was going on. Natasha turned to Tony. "You got a suit here?"

"You mean besides the dashing Tom Ford one I'm wearing? No."

Sharon told them where Bucky was kept and he and Nat ran off to get there. Whatever HYDRA had planned it would happen now. Bucky's containment cell was open but he and the doctor were nowhere to be seen. Nat was the first one in the room and he heard her scream and watched Bucky threw her against the cell.

Fuck! Bucky would never hurt Natasha, he had to be triggered.

He couldn't check on Nat because Bucky attacked him and he did his best to dodge his attacks. He walked back the entire hallway while blocking Bucky's hits but then Buck managed to kick him down an elevator shaft. Thankfully he only fell a few meters down.

"Steve!" Nat's head appeared seconds later. "Are you okay?"

He shrugged his leather jacket off . "Yes. Are you?"

She nodded. "I'm going after Bucky."

"Be careful." He yelled after her and then started to climb his way up. The power came back on and he passed by agents who were unconscious on the ground. He heard crashes and ran towards what looked like a giant break room. Tony was looking lost in a chair and Sharon was knocked out on a broken table. He scanned the room and saw that Bucky was strangling Nat who was laying on a table with his metal arm. She had her feet on Bucky's shoulders trying to push him off but he didn't move an inch. Steve felt his blood boiling and only saw red.

"You could at least recognize me." Natasha choked out.

Steve ran to them and tackled Bucky to the ground. "Stay the hell away from her!" He knew Bucky wasn't himself but he would never let anyone hurt his Natasha. He pressed Bucky with his weight to the ground and punched him in the face. Rage was running through his veins, no one would hurt Natasha and get away with it!

"Steve! Stop!" Nat begged and tried to pull him of Bucky. "Stop it! You're killing him!"

Her voice broke him out of his anger trance and he looked down at Bucky whose whole face was covered in blood. Oh god what had he done? He could see in Bucky's eyes that he was trying to fight off the Winter Soldier.

"Bucky?" He whispered. "Bucky, I'm sorry."

"Soldat!" Bakshi yelled from upstairs. "It's time to go!"

The Winter Solider won the fight in Bucky's mind and he threw Steve off of him. Bucky ran upstairs to Bakshi who was without a doubt HYDRA and Nat ran after them but Bakshi suddenly fired a shot and she jumped out of the way. Steve ran to her side and checked her for wounds. Her left arm got gazed and her throat had Bucky's fingerprints on it. He felt sick to his stomach.

"Go." She groaned. "I'm fine. Don't let them escape!"

He kissed her temple and saw when he sprinted up the stairs that Tony was checking Nat's arm. The metal door was locked but Steve threw himself with all his strength against it and it fell to the ground. A helicopter was just taking off and he raced towards it and jumped off but he missed it by a few inches. He could only watch how the helicopter with Bucky on board disappeared.

He wanted to vomit. Who knew what HYDRA would make Bucky do. No one was safe. The Winter Soldier was extremely dangerous.

Natasha was out of her leather jacket when he came back and Tony was pressing a bandage on her wound. She gave Stark a small smile but Steve could see that she was shaking. She saw him and smiled sadly when she noticed that he was alone. He ran down the stairs to get to her and crashed his lips on hers. She made a surprised sound but kissed him back. He was careful to not touch her neck or left arm.

"Um, I'm gonna... stand somewhere else." He heard Tony awkwardly say.

He couldn't stop kissing her. He needed her so much. He didn't care that they were in a CIA building and were watched. He licked over the seam of her lips and she opened them and he sucked on her tongue. He wanted to be alone with her. Back in their apartment in Brooklyn, wrapped around her and when he would wake up eveything would be okay. Bucky would be waiting for them in the kitchen and had already made breakfast and they would eat it together and Bucky would tell Nat an embarrassing story about Steve and she would laugh and kiss the pout of his face.

"Steve" She pulled back and stroked her thumb over his cheek. He closed his eyes at her tenderness. "We have to find him."

He nodded. "I love you."

"I love you." She whispered back.


	48. Chapter 48 (rated M)

**This chapter is rated M!**

Chapter 48

Everett Ross let them begrudgingly go to a hotel near the CIA complex. Tony promised to go through Malick's servers again to find something about Bucky. Steve didn't know if they could trust Ross or the CIA, HYDRA could have infiltrated the agency just like they did with SHIELD. The receptionist at the hotel told them that they had no more rooms but that changed when Tony slid his black card over the desk. Suddenly two suites were available and Tony said he would have FRIDAY look for the chopper Baskhi and Bucky left in.

Natasha took his hand and led him to their hotel room. The marks on her throat were now a bright purple and he couldn't bare to look at them. He should have gotten out of that elevator shaft sooner to pull Bucky off of her. What if he'd gotten there later? Would the Winter Soldier have choked Nat to death? She was a lethal fighter but Bucky was so much stronger than her. He was her boyfriend, he was supposed to protect her and he failed her miserably.

Nat opened the door with the key card and pulled him inside. She flicked the light switch on and led him to the bathroom. Did she know how much he needed her? He would lose his mind if it weren't for her. She was the only thing that helped him keep it together. She tugged on the hem of his shirt and he put his arms up to help her get him out of it. She kissed his chest and he closed his eyes at the gesture. She reached into the shower cabin and turned the water on and then unbuckled his belt and slid his jeans down. He stepped out of them and helped Natasha out of her clothes. It occurred to him that it had been quite some time since the last time they'd seen each other naked. His eyes travelled over her body. Strong muscles, soft skin and curves. She was perfect and he couldn't believe his luck that she was his. She checked the water temperature and stepped into the shower cabin. She held her hand out to him.

"Come, sweetheart." She whispered softly and he let her pull him into the shower. It was a rainforest shower and the water covered them both. It washed off the blood on her arm and she took his hands to wash of Bucky's blood of them. He only noticed now that he had hit him so hard that he had pop open the skin on his knuckles. The wound would be healed in a few hours.

Natasha made him sit on the marble bench that was in the shower and stood between his legs to wash his hair. Her fingers massaged the shampoo into his scalp and he let his hands wander over her waist to her breasts. It had been so long since he'd touched her. He brushed his thumbs over her nipples and she shivered sightly. He kept palming her tits while she washed the shampoo out of his hair. He stood up from the bench and washed her hair and body. He was thankful that the hotel had an unlimited supply of hot water and they just kissed under the water stream. He was so lost in kissing her that he forgot about her throat and moved his lips to kiss her neck. Natasha winched in pain and he pulled immediately back.

"I'm so sorry, Nat!"

She stroked his chest and shoulders. "Shh, it's not your fault!"

He wanted to disagree but she pulled his head down to kiss him. Her hand wandered over his upper body to his cock. He had tried his best to not get hard but he had failed.

He grabbed her wrist gently. "Don't. You're hurt. We shouldn't!"

She shook his hand off and began to stroke his length. He couldn't stop the moan leaving his lips. "You need this, Steve." She kneeled down and kissed his tip. Oh fuck that felt incredible. "I need this." She looked up at him and he saw in her eyes that she needed a distraction as well. He pulled her gently up to her feet and walked her over to the shower wall.

He kissed her deeply while he lifted her up and pressed her against the wall. She wrapped her arms around his shoulder and her legs around his waist. He slipped a hand between their bodies and slid his finger into her to see if she was ready.

"Steve." She whined and clenched around his finger.

"Shh. I know, doll." He pulled his finger out and lined himself at her entrance. "I love you, Natalia."

Her eyes opened at that and she gave him a sweet smile. "I love you, Steven."

He slowly pushed into her until he was buried deep inside her. They were finally one again. They both moaned and held eye contact. He could see her love for him in her eyes and how much she wanted him. He knew his eyes showed her the same.

"I missed this." She sighed when he started to thrust slowly into her. He wanted to take his time because he didn't know if they would get the time for it in the next days or maybe even weeks.

He slowly pulled out and then sped up his tempo a bit when he thrust back into her warmth. She felt so good, she was so hot and tight. "Yeah, me too." He breathed out. "I never get enough of this. Never get enough of you."

"Yes, yes." She panted and slid one leg over his arm. "I need you deeper, Steve. Please! Oh god, I need you!"

The other leg was suddenly on his shoulder and he had no idea how she managed that but he was now so much deeper in her and they both moaned in unison. "Fuck!" He rasped out and she nodded.

She grabbed his hair and pulled his head up to kiss him. Her kiss was erratic and sloppy but he didn't care. All he could focus on was her and how good she felt and how much he loved and wanted her. He wanted to forget everything else and stay inside of her forever. He was so fucking stupid for leaving her behind. He would never do it again.

"I'm so sorry, Nat." He panted between kisses and snapped his hips into hers causing her to scream in pleasure. "So sorry. I'll never do it again. I swear."

She bit on his lips when he thrust into her hard. "I know, babe. I know." She gasped out.

With the sounds she made and the way she clenched around him he knew that he couldn't last much longer. He circled her clit and scratched on it gently with his nail when he pushed back into her. Her nails dugged into his shoulders and she threw her head back against the wall when she came around him. He tried to fuck her through her orgasm but the sight she made gave him the rest and he came with her name on his lips. Natasha came down from her high before him and kissed his face.

"I love you, Steve." She sighed when he pulled out and let her down.

He brushed her wet hair behind her ear. "I love you so much."

She stepped closer to him and then raised her eyebrow when he poked her in the stomach. He was still hard. "You didn't come?" She seemed insecure.

"No, no! I did!" He ensured her. He didn't really know why he hadn't gone soft yet. "You are always so amazing, Nat! I don't why."

She nodded and turned off the water. She took his hand and led him out of the shower and then the bathroom. He was confused, shouldn't they towel off? She walked with him through the suite and stopped in front of the bed. His knee pits hit the bed and she pushed him on it. Before he could react she was already straddling his waist and sank down on his erection.

"Natasha." He moaned and she smiled down at him and placed her hands on his chest. "Don't do this just for me. You're hurt, Nat."

"I need this too." She rolled her hips and he watched how the water drops travelled down her breasts. He sat up and took one nipple into his mouth. She gasped out and grinded her hips harder. He avoided her hurt neck and paid all his attention to her lovely tits. She bounced on his cock and he held her close to his body. She was still sensitive from her first orgasm and he didn't need much to coax another one out of her when he pinched her clit.

"Oh, god. Steve!" She moaned when she came down from it. He pushed his hips up into her and she gasped every time. She was too spend to move on her own and he flipped them. She looked so beautiful with her red hair spilled onto the sheets and her flushed skin.

"Nat?" Could she go for more?

She bit her lips and nodded. "Yes! Come on! Fuck me!"

He grabbed her hips and began to pound into her with earnest. She panted and gasped and he growled in return. He hadn't come yet this round and he wanted her to come for a third time. She deserved another orgasm. He kissed her and when he touched her clit and fucked into her hard she was gone and took him with her. Hot white pleasure run through his veins and when he opened his eyes Natashas was blinking at him sleepily.

"That was exactly what I needed." She sighed and arched her back under him.

He kissed her nose. "I needed that too, doll." He stayed inside of her until he grew soft. Natasha was already asleep when that happened and he got her up in his arms to get her out of the wet spot and moved her up the bed. He should probably feel guilty that they had sex still wet from the shower on the end of the hotel bed but he didn't.

Nat was right, they both had needed that.

* * *

They met Tony an hour later in his hotel suite next door. Steve didn't sleep after they made love but Natasha did and he knew that it had been maybe a bit creepy but he had watched her sleep. He watched how she scrunched her nose in her sleep and listened to the little noises she made. He rather watched the woman he loved than close his eyes and had nightmares about all the things that could be happening to his best friend right now.

Tony told them over coffee and sandwiches, it was the middle of the night, that the chopper from the German Bundespolizei had been found near the border to Denmark. Unfortunately that was the last trace of Bucky for now. Tony didn't find anything directly suspicious in Malick's server but he found a few emails that may had been encryped. FRIDAY was running different programs to see if there was more behind it.

"You know-" Tony bit into his sandwich. "I wonder if people would believe that Tony Stark was working while Captain America was banging his girlfriend."

Steve choked on his coffee and felt his cheeks getting warm. Great! Natasha was on the phone in front of the windows and talking to one of her contacts. "What?"

Tony had a grin on his face. "This hotel doesn't really have thick walls, Cap! What exactly are you doing to Natasha that makes her produce such sounds!" His grin got even wider and Steve wished the ground would swallow him. "And you are pretty loud yourself!"

"I'm not talking to you about this!" He was maybe old fashioned but he still thought that you should only talk with your partner about your sex life.

Nat was suddenly behind Tony and twisted his earlobe. "Ahh!" He shrieked and Steve tried his best to cover his laugh. "What the hell, woman!"

"Don't make Steve uncomfortable." She simply said and sat down on Steve's lap.

" _Don't make Steve uncomfortable_." Tony echoed. "And what about not making Tony uncomfortable? Some thanks I get for paying for your hotel suite!"

Natasha rolled her eyes at him. "Just send me the bill. I pay you back."

Steve didn't really know how much money Natasha had but she did say once to him that it was enough to allow them both to live a nice life. He wasn't uncomfortable with the fact that she had more money than him. He knew that she invested in stocks and was quite successful at that. He once overheard how she talked to Warren Buffet on the phone about something. Most of his money went into the apartment they shared in Brooklyn. They shared the price but he was still shocked how expensive apartments in New York were. Without Nat pitching in he didn't think he could have afforded a place in Brooklyn.

"Anyway." She interrupted his train of thoughts. " I just talked to Coulson. I think we should give the list to him. We'll have our hands full with tracking down Bucky. We can't hunt down the HYDRA cells right now but they still have to go." She looked at him. "What do you think, Steve?"

"Do you trust Coulson when he says that his SHIELD is HYDRA-free?"

She nodded.

"Okay, then they can have a copy of the list." If Natasha trusted Coulson's SHIELD, so would he.

There was a knock on the door and Tony got up from the couch to open it. Sam and Rhodey were on the other side of the door and came into the suite. Nat got up from Steve's lap and he followed her to greet them. He hadn't seen them in over three weeks.

"Hey Cap." Rhodey gave him a half hug.

"Good to see you, Rhodey!"

Sam eyed him and when he walked over to him Sam punched him in the shoulder. "That was for Natasha!" He explained and pulled him into a hug. "Don't ever think you have to do this on your own, okay?"

He could only nod. He didn't just leave Nat behind, he left the whole team behind. "I am sorry, guys, I was desperate and didn't think it through. I'm sorry!"

"So, who's boss now?" Rhodey asked when they all sat down on the couches. "You or Natasha?"

Steve looked at her and she just shrugged. "You can have your position back, Steve. I don't mind."

"I think for this mission you should stay in charge. You've been handling it so well. So much better than I have."

She smiled briefly and asked Rhodey for the list. She made photos of it and sent them to Coulson so SHIELD could go after HYDRA.

"I have a theory about what HYDRA could want from Bucky." Sam announced and four pairs of eyes looked at him. "I was going through the files we have on HYDRA and there are a few notes about there being possibly more Winter Soldiers than Bucky. Somewhere in Siberia. There is no confirmation but it's implied that the project was unsuccessful and shut down. Maybe these soldiers are on ice like Bucky used to be."

More Winter Soldiers? God that would be terrible and exactly something that HYDRA would want to have. "You got a location?"

Sam shook his head. "I think only a handful of people knew about that project. And I think Bucky was one of them. Wouldn't they want the original Winter Soldier to be present for those experiments?"

"Sounds logical." Natasha agreed. "If they do exist, Bucky had probably seen them. And just think about the damage a small army of brainwashed super soldiers could do."

"If Bucky or rather the Winter Soldier remembers the location-" Rhodey said. "Wouldn't Malick get informed?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah, definitely. I'll have FRIDAY check his communications again, maybe she finds something."

"Have FRIDAY check satellites for unusual movement in Siberia." Nat added. "Take it from me, there is usually not much going on in the tundra."

* * *

 _As always thank you so much for your reviews, faves and follows!_


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49

"So we have to assume that we have to fight an army of Winter Soldiers?" Rhodey asked into the group and Sam just shrugged.

"Maybe not if we get there before they get out of cryo. Or maybe it's just a legend and we worry about nothing."

Steve looked at Natasha. "Do you happen to know anything about them?"

She shook her head. "No, the KGB wasn't even completely convinced about the existence of one Winter Soldier."

She really couldn't remember to ever hear about more than one Winter Soldier. She really hoped that it was just a myth and they didn't have to face them.

FRIDAY informed them later that she spotted tire marks in the north of Siberia on satellite pictures. They all agreed that it was unusual that people were up that far in Siberia because it was no environment to survive and they decided to check it out.

"What about Ross?" Tony asked them while they were deciding if they all should go or just a few of them. If they truly had to face an army of supersoldiers they all had to go.

"We can't trust him." Steve said while they made their way to the quinjet. "Everyone could be HYDRA."

Natasha nodded. "Steve's right. We can't trust anyone with this." She only knew that the people in this SUV weren't HYDRA. She couldn't vouch for Ross and his CIA.

They boarded the quinjet and Steve covered her with his body while she changed into one of her catsuits. Thankfully Tony brought one for her and also an uniform for Steve with him. Ross had given them back their gear before they left the CIA building and so Steve had his shield on his back. She loved it when he wore his Captain America uniform and he teased her from time to time that she had an uniform kink. Maybe he was right because he looked really good in it.

"Shouldn't we have waited for the wonder twins?" Tony asked and checked something on his Iron Man suit.

"We don't have the time to wait for Wanda and Pietro." Natasha said and put more widow bites into the pockets of her belt. "Every minute counts!"

With the speed of the quinjet they reached their destination two hours later. The tire marks were covered by snow and Natasha didn't see any new ones. Were they already too late? Or did this place have nothing to do with HYDRA?

They stayed in the quinjet to wait for her orders. "Okay, Tony, Steve and I go in from the front. Rhodey and Sam, you fly around this hill to look for another entrance and secure it."

They checked their comms and she left with Steve and Tony the quinjet and walked through the snow to the entrance. Whatever this place was, it was build into a hill and that alone made this place suspicious. It was the perfect spot to hide something from the world. Tony destroyed the lock with a laser beam and they walked inside. There was only a small room with an elevator before them. Whatever this place held, it had to be downstairs.

"You got anything on infrared?" She whispered to Tony while they entered the elevator. There was only one button.

"I have to check when we get to the basement. The walls are too thick."

The elevator reached their destination. "Ready?" Steve asked them and she and Tony nodded. Steve pulled the bars up and there was a big and empty room before them and at the end of the room was another door.

"Any heat signals?" Steve asked Tony who walked in front of them.

"I can't get a reading. These walls are too thick, sorry."

She had to grimace. Great, so they had no idea how many people were on the other side of that door. She signaled Tony to blast the door open. She got her guns out of her thigh holders and Steve grabbed his shield from his back. The three of them nodded at each other and Tony destroyed the door with his repulsor.

They were at the right place. Five cyro chambers were in the room and they were all empty. They were too late. The Winter Soldiers were gone and could be anywhere by now. This was not good. Malick could bring down entire organizations if those soldiers were anything like Bucky.

"So we're fucked?" Tony asked and Natasha wanted to agree when they all heard something behind them. A wall suddenly crashed down and blocked their way out. Fuck! They were definitely not alone.

"You think the Winter Soldiers are still here?" Steve moved into a fighting postion.

She took the safety catchs of her Glocks off. "Whoever is down here with us probably doesn't want to chitchat."

"She's right." Her head snapped back so fast she almost got whiplash. That was Bucky's voice.

He didn't look so good. There was fresh blood on his face and he was slightly limping towards them.

Tony aimed his repulsor at Bucky but Steve placed his hand on his suit. "I think it's him."

Bucky nodded. "I'm in control, not _him_. They made me fight the Winter Soldiers and one got me and smacked my head against the wall. And then I was myself again. Bakshi and his people left after they sedated the other Winter Soldiers and took them with them. I don't think they have any use for me anymore. These five people were the most elite death squad of HYDRA even before the serum and now? Now they know how to control them."

Natasha felt a cold shiver run down her spine. "So they only wanted the location from you?"

Bucky nodded and came closer when Tony dropped his aim at him. "Yeah. I had to train the soldiers back then. HYDRA wanted to know if they could beat me and they did. Something was wrong with the serum and they went berserk and were put on cryo. But whatever it was, they fixed it. They now follow HYDRA's orders without question."

HYDRA probably left Bucky behind because he was unreliable to them. There was now always the risk that Bucky could break through the programing. But why didn't they just kill him? He was a lose end for HYDRA. It didn't make sense to Natasha that Bucky wasn't dead.

Steve must have had similar thoughts. "Buck, don't take this the wrong way but why are you still alive?"

His features darkened. "They said that they wanted me to watch Captain America die. I didn't let that wall down to trap us in. Someone else is here with us."

Natasha was confused. If Bucky was himself and the other Winter Soldiers were gone who was left to fight Steve? There weren't exactly a lot of people who had an actual chance in beating Captain America, let alone in killing him. What the fuck was going on.

"Do you know who's down here with us?" Tony asked and it looked like he was checking for heat signatures again.

Bucky shook his head. "No, but HYDRA seemed pretty confident that that person has a shot at succeeding."

She looked over at Steve who was standing tall and strong beside her. He was cautious but didn't seem too worried about what could happen next. "Let's find this person. I'm in no mood for hide and seek."

"There's no need for that, Captain." A male voice echoed through the room. "I waited my whole life for this moment! I finally get to fight and kill Captain America!"

She looked around but didn't see anyone.

Whoever this man was, he seemed confident that he could kill Steve. What if he could really do that? Her blood froze in her veins. She was scared. HYDRA could have made another supersoldier that they never heard about before. She remembered the supersoldier that the KGB created - the Red Guardian. Russia wanted their own Captain America after WWII and they eventually succeeded after decades but the Guardian died in an explosion years ago. It was a black day for the Kreml. The KGB lost their greatest asset that day.

A hidden door opened and a tall man in a red uniform stepped into the room. His face was covered in burn scars but she'd seen it on countless pictures during her time in the KGB. It was not possible, he had died. The whole Kreml had mourned his death.

" _Hello Natalia."_ The Red Guardian said to her in Russian and smiled at her. Why was he using her first name? She never ran into him during her time in the Red Room. _"I'm sorry I'm going to kill your lover. But it's for the best, believe me. You and I were always meant to be together. I know you don't remember me right now but you will, my dear. I promise you this."_

Bucky and Steve stared at her since they both spoke Russian. Steve wasn't fluent in the language but the look in his eyes told her that he understood enough.

"I have no idea what he is talking about, Steve." She whispered to him. She never met the man before. She had heard stories about him but they never met. What the fuck was he talking about. All she knew was that she was going to kill him before he could lay one finger on Steve.

The Red Guardian ran towards them and she fired at him but he managed to dodge her bulllets. What the fuck! How did he do that? Steve threw his shield at him with enough force to decapitate someone but the Guardian just caught it with his hand like it was a frisbee.

Natasha realized in that moment that the Red Guardian could kill Steve. That was his purpose if she remembered correctly. If the States ever created another supersoldier again, the Red Guardian was supposed to wipe him out. The Guardian "died" before Steve was found but now he had a chance to serve his purpose and she knew that he wouldn't stop until Captain America was dead. The Guardian threw the shield back at Steve who used the magnets on his wrist to catch it.

He rammed his fist into Steve's chest and he flew against the metal wall behind them. She wanted to shoot at him again but the Russian snatched her guns and smashed them to the floor breaking them into pieces. He grabbed her and threw her like she weighted nothing several feet through the room. "Stay out of my way, Natalia!" He barked and charged towards Steve.

"Tony, do something!" She screamed and saw how Tony aimed his repulsor at the Guardian but nothing happened.

"FRIDAY? FRIDAY? What's going on?" Tony tried to pull his faceplate up but it appeared to be stuck. "Guys, the whole suit is down. I can't do anything!"

Bucky attacked the Guardian but he overpowered him and put him in a choke hold until Bucky stopped moving. Steve got up from the ground and smacked the Guardian with his shield in the face. Steve lost the upper hand when the Russian punched him in so hard in the face that Steve started bleeding. She never saw someone hit Steve hard enough to cause him to bleed from one single punch.

She ran towards them and jumped on the Red Guardian's back and slung her garrote around his neck to choke him hopefully to death. But he grabbed behind him and lifted her off his back and threw her into Steve and they both went to the ground.

"Goddamnit, Natalia!" He yelled. "Stay out of it! I don't want to kill you! Just _him!"_

She covered Steve with her body despite his protest. "You have to go through me first!"

The Guardian sighed and looked at her with sadness in his eyes. Why? What was their connection? "Natalia, don't make me do this!"

Steve tried to shove her away but the fight with the Red Guardian had weakened him. "Nat, no! Just run!"

She shook her head. She wasn't going to move one inch. Either she got out of here with Steve or they both would die here today.


	50. Chapter 50

_Happy 101th birthday Bucky!_

* * *

Chapter 50

"Get out of my way, Natalia!" The Guardian snarled and moved closer to them.

Natasha pressed herself closer to Steve and stood her ground. Steve told her to save herself but she ignored him. She wouldn't, no she couldn't leave him here to die. She desperately tried to come up with a plan. Tony could barely move in his suit when it was off-line and Bucky was still unconscious. She and Steve were on their own. They had to fight the Guardian alone.

"Steve? Can you fight?" She whispered and never took her eyes of the enemy.

He groaned in pain but started to get up. "Yes. I won't let him hurt you."

She almost wanted to laugh or cry, she wasn't so sure. Steve could die today and he was worried about her. She got up as well and stood in front of Steve. The Guardian cracked his knuckles and wanted to throw a punch. Natasha charged her widow bracelets and used his thigh to get on his back again. She electrocuted him but it barely bothered him. What the fuck was happening? Was he on steroids or something? That was enough to hurt Steve or Bucky. The Guardian grabbed her and she was thrown against the metal wall. Natasha smacked her head against it and she felt blood running down her face.

She heard Steve scream in rage and he attacked the Guardian. Her sight was blurred and she could only see how red and blue were engaged in a fight. Natasha used the wall to get up and leaned against it. She blinked her eyes a few times and tried to ignore her pain. It wasn't important, the only thing that mattered was Steve's survival. The Guardian was attacking him and Steve barely managed to block his attacks. She couldn't understand how that guy was stronger than Steve. There were only two people she knew who where stronger than him. Thor and Banner. She pulled a knife out of her thigh holster and waited until the Guardian was with his back to her. She ran as fast as she could and jumped to ram her knife into his neck. She twisted it to cause as much damage as possible. The Russian snarled and stumbled with her on his back against the wall.

" _Natalia, stop that_!" He rasped in Russian and pulled the knife out. " _I'm doing this for you too! I'm freeing you from him_!"

She got so angry at this that she started to shake. The last thing she wanted was for Steve to die! She dugged her fingernails with all her strength into his neck wound and searched for his aorta. She almost got it when he punched her with his elbow in her face. Her head smacked against the wall again and she yelled in pain. She sank to the floor and she was sure that she left a bloodline on the wall on her way down.

Steve ran towards them and smacked the Guardian with his shield and he flew a few feet away from them. Steve kneeled in front of her and cupped her face. "Nat, is it bad?"

She tried to focus on him but failed. She was sure that she had a concussion, maybe something even worse. But Steve couldn't worry about her now. "It's okay." She lied and tried to get up. He helped her and leaned her against the wall. The blood on Steve's face was dried and she hoped that his wounds were already healing.

"Steve, we have to kill him." She whispered and saw out of the corner of her eyes that the Guardian was getting up on his feet again. Bucky was still out and Tony was pretty much clued to the spot he was standing. She prayed that he would get his suit somehow back online. It would make this fight so much easier.

"I don't know if we're strong enough for that." He whispered back and threw his shield again to know the Guardian off his feet again. The shield bounched back to the magnets on his wrist. "Just go, Natasha. Please!" He had tears in his eyes. "I don't want you to die."

She felt tears building up in her own eyes. "And I don't want _you_ to die, Steve. I am not leaving here without you!" She loved him, she couldn't live with herself if she got out of here but he didn't. No, they had to kill the Red Guardian. It was either him or them and she would always choose them.

Her vision got blurry again and she had to blink again. When her vision focused again, Steve wasn't in front of her anymore. The Guardian had tackled him and was now punching Steve who was on the ground. She picked up his shield that he lost during the attack and hit the Guardian with all of her strength. She managed to distract him long enough so Steve could throw him off of him. But the Guardian charged at her with his fist and she used Steve's shield to protect herself. The Guardian snatched the shield out of her hands and hit her with it. She never had been hit with the shield again and went to the ground.

"I told you to stay out of this, Natalia!" He grunted with venom in his voice. "This is your last warning! You can't save your lover!"

Natasha tried to get up but she was too weak. She saw how Steve came running towards them to attack the Guardian but he grabbed Steve and put him into a choke hold. Oh god, he was going to break Steve's neck.

"Please, don't!" She screamed and Steve tried to get out of his hold but the Guardian was stronger. "Please don't kill him! You don't have to do this!"

Alexi. She remembered his name again. His name was Alexi Shostakov. She didn't know why she knew his name. Maybe she read it in a file. "Alexi" She whispered and he looked at her.

"You remember my name, Natalia?"

She still didn't understand why he seemed to care about her. "Alexi, please don't do this." She took a deep breath. "I love him. If you kill him, you have to kill me too. I can't live in a world where he doesn't exist. Please, just let us go."

Something flickered in his eyes besides his bloodlust and she thought that she was getting through to him. She didn't care if she sounded desperate or maybe even weak. There was nothing that she wouldn't do to save Steve. "Please Alexi. Don't take him away from me. He's all I have."

" _Do you really love him, Natalia?"_ He asked her quietly in Russian.

She nodded and tears fell down her face. " _Yes. I love him more than anything. He's my life. He's my everything."_

Something snapped in Shostaskov, she could see it in his eyes. He let go of Steve who dropped to the floor. "This isn't over yet." Shostaskov said. "I will kill him one day."

She crawled over the floor to Steve and cupped his face between her hands. Steve's eyes tried to focus on her and she rested her forehead against him. When she looked around for the Red Guardian, he was gone.

She pressed her lips against his and kissed him deeply. She was so scared that she would lose him today. She knew that it wasn't over but he was safe for now.

"I love you, Steve." She whispered against his lips and kissed him again.

He wiped the blood away that was about to run into her eye. "I love you, too."

She honestly completely forgot that Tony and Bucky were with them in the room and climbed into Steve's lap to be as close to him as possible. She undid the clasp on the strap of his helmet and pulled it off his head to brush her fingers through his hair. They kissed again and she buried her face into his neck afterwards. Steve stroked her back and whispered how much he loved her into her hair. A loud groan made her look up from Steve's neck. Bucky was regaining consciousness.

"Okay, where is that fucker?" Bucky grunted and got up from the floor. He stopped when he saw her and Steve. They must have looked like hell, both covered in blood. "Oh god! What happened? Are you two okay?" He scanned the room and his sight stopped at Tony. "Why are you just standing there?"

"Oh, I'm just enjoying the view!" Tony replied dryly. "The suit's down and I can't fucking move!"

She kissed Steve one last time before she got up from his lap and they both stood up. "The Guardian is gone. But he'll come back."

"Yeah." Steve continued. "He really wants me dead. If it wasn't for Nat, I would have a broken neck by now."

She didn't understand why Shostaskov spared Steve in the end. Why did he do that for her? Did they meet in the Red Room or the KGB? She was confused but mostly happy that the love of her life was still alive. She didn't know how she was connected to the Red Guardian but she promised herself that she would find a way to kill him before he could kill Steve.

"Why didn't he kill you, Steve? Why did he leave without finishing the job?" Bucky asked.

Steve looked at Natasha. "He did it for her."

Bucky seemed confused and she shared the feeling. "You do know him?"

She furrowed her eyebrows. "I don't think so. At least I don't remember him at all. I know I don't remember e _verything_ from the Red Room and KGB but I think I would have remembered that maniac. I don't know what happened!"

"We'll figure it out, Nat." Steve said and took her hand. "He won't come near you ever again."

Of course Steve was worried about her when it was his life that was still in danger. She wanted to object when Tony suddenly began to move.

"Haha! We're back, baby!" Tony exclaimed and came towards them. "Systems are back online. I'll go look if I catch Jean Claude Van Damme. Maybe Rhodey and Sam got him."

Right, she completely forgot that they were monitoring the area. Maybe they saw the Guardian leave and overpowered him with their gear. Tony cut a hole into the metal wall that had crashed down earlier trapping them in and flew away. She, Steve and Bucky searced the basement for any evidence that they could use to bring down HYDRA but the whole place was swiped clean. Natasha took pictures of the cryo chambers before they left and took the elevator upstairs. Her head hurt like hell but the bleeding stopped. She knew she was being unprofessional but she held Steve's hand the whole way out of the basement back to the elevator. She didn't care, she almost lost her boyfriend today and she didn't think that Bucky would fault her for that. He seemed pretty shaken himself with the fact that someone was out there wanting to kill his best friend. Maybe Bucky would help her kill the Red Guardian.

Rhodey and Sam were already at the quinjet when they left the HYDRA base and Sam went to check Steve's wounds but he shook his head. "Her first!"

Sam sat her down on a cot in the back of the plane and checked her head while Steve sat beside her and held her hand between his bigger ones. All she wanted was a hot shower and to sleep in Steve's arms. Sam made her follow his flashlight with her eyes and then checked the wounds on her temple and the back of her head. He stitched them up and told her that she at least had a light concussion and that he wanted her to get a CAT scan. God, she didn't even know where they should go next. Back to Berlin? Bucky would probably get arrested again.

"Um, guys?" Rhodey asked while Sam checked Steve's head. "What exactly happened to you? We've been securing the area and then ten minutes later Tony came yelling something about a super supersoldier."

They had only been down there for ten minutes?! It felt like they fought the Red Guardian for hours! She groaned and swallowed the pain killers Rhodey had given her. "We got the hell beaten out of us by the Red Guardian. The Russian answer to Captain America." She explained. "The Kreml thought he died like ten years ago in an explosion as far as I know."

Tony came back in that moment. "I have no idea where he went and our two birds here didn't see him. There has to be some tunnel that he used to leave."

"I know this is probably not the right moment but what happens to me now?" Bucky asked. "Do I have to go back?"

She could only think of one thing to do now. It was a gamble but if anyone could help them it was him. "Tony?" She had to take another pill to numb her headache. "I took some pictures of the HYDRA base. Can you please upload it to our files?" Tony nodded. "Thanks. Send everything we have to President Ellis. I don't think he's HYDRA and he's literally the most powerful person on the planet. He can help Bucky and us. If it's okay with you Bucky, I want to release the real identity of the Winter Soldier." She looked at him. "We can use the public's sympathy as leverage."

Bucky looked from her to Steve and then back to her. "Okay, do it."

She told Tony to release Bucky's file. "And where are we going now?" Sam asked into the group.

She looked at Steve and he nodded at her. "Home." She answered. "We're flying back to the States. All of us."

* * *

They flew back in stealth mode to the States. President Ellis called them three hours later when they were over Scandinavia and said he was mortified that HYDRA had infiltrated the World Council and that there were five Winter Soldiers and the Red Guardian out there to wreak havoc. He promised to talk to Ross so he would leave Bucky alone for now. Ellis believed them that Bucky wasn't behind the attack on the White House and told them that as long as Bucky would stay at the Tower and cooperate he would see what he could do about Bucky's legal status.

"Wow, thank you so much, Mr. President!" Bucky was moved and they ended the call with Ellis.

She smiled at Bucky when he looked at her and walked back to the end of the quinjet to rest on the cot. Her whole body hurt and she wanted to take a hot shower. She couldn't stop thinking about Shostaskov. What was he to her? Or rather what was she to him? Why didn't he want to hurt her? Why did he stopped his mission for her?

"Hey." Steve was suddenly kneeling next to her head. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice him walking to her. "How's your head?"

"It's okay. Hurts but I don't think I have any brain damage." She said and rolled to her side to look at him.

Steve gently brushed her hair behind her ear. "Natasha?" He seemed hesitant for some reason. "The Red Guardian... Is he in love with you? It that the reason he let me live? Because he loves you?"

"I don't know, Steve." She sat up and made room for her boyfriend on the cot. "It could be a reason but I really don't know how our paths could have crossed." She took his hand and kissed it. "It doesn't matter why he stopped. He'll try it again and we have to be ready." She grabbed his face and kissed him with desperation and need. She never had been this scared in her life before. "He won't succeed, Steve. I don't care what I have to do to protect you. The next time I see him I will end him."

Steve sighed and rested his forehead against hers. "Don't put your life in danger for me. You think I could live in a world where you don't exist?" He kissed her softly. " _I love you more than anything. You're my life. You're my everything."_ He murmured in Russian and repeated the words she said to Shostaskov to make him stop. His pronunciation wasn't really good but she didn't care. Russian never sounded more beautiful to her.

She laughed quietly and buried her face in his neck. "What's so funny, doll?" He asked stroking her back.

"If anyone would have told me after SHIELD got you out of the ice that I would fall madly in love with Captain America, I would have send them to a mental hospital."

He snorted and pulled her into his lap. "Try to get some sleep until we're in New York, sweetheart."

"Isn't this postion too uncomfortable for you?" She asked but was already drifting of.

He kissed the top of her head. "No, it's more than fine." He tightend his hold on her and minutes later she was gone.

* * *

Natasha woke up when they were already back at the Tower and Steve carried her to the infirmary to get a CAT scan. She was right and didn't have any brain damage. She remembered something when she and Steve walked back to the elevator. He wanted to carry her but she could walk on her own, thank you very much.

"Wait!" She grabbed his arm to stop him. "I have to go to Tony's lab!"

Steve didn't look happy. "You've done enough for today! All you have to do is take a shower and then go to bed."

She rolled her eyes at him. "I will, _Mom."_ She knew he was just looking out for her. "I have the Red Guardian's blood on my hands!"

Steve didn't seem to follow her. "We can test it to see what makes him so fucking strong. Why he's stronger than you and Bucky!"

"Oh! Let's go!"

They got to Tony's lab and Natasha scratched the blood under her fingernails with a Q-tip away and put it in a test tube. FRIDAY told her in which machine she had to put it in and said that testing would take a few hours. Natasha thanked her and told her to send Agent Simmons a copy of the test results. She was the leading expert on the topic after Bruce.

Bucky was already asleep on their couch when they got to their floor, it looked like he had been waiting for them. Steve covered him with a blanket and followed her into the bathroom. She let him wash her body and hair and she watched how her blood disappeared into the drain. She changed into sweatpants and one of Steve's shirts and crawled under the blankets. Steve joined her shortly after and spooned her. She pressed herself against his chest and hugged his arm.

Steve whispered something in Gaelic into her hair but she had no idea what he was saying. She listened to his soothing voice and fell asleep.

* * *

 _THANK YOU for your reviews! Every feedback means a lot and keeps me motivated:)_


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51

Natasha didn't sleep well that night. She had nightmares about the Red Guardian killing Steve in front of her eyes and woke up screaming. Steve pulled her close and stroked her head to calm her. She buried her face in his shirt and breathed in his scent. She needed to find Shostaskov and she needed to kill him. There was no other way. Steve told her to go back to sleep but she didn't want to. Her nightmare felt too real and she couldn't get the image of a dead Steve out of her head.

She got out of bed and walked into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of vodka. Steve followed her and hugged her from behind and kissed her temple. "Natasha sweetheart, talk to me. Let me help you." She emptied the glass in one gulp and filled the glass again. She drank it and turned in Steve's arm and looked up at him. "I'm terrified, Steve."

He kissed her forehead. "He won't kill me, Natasha. I won't let him take me away from you."

She pressed her ear against his chest to listen to his steady and strong heartbeat. "He almost killed you today. I don't what I would do if..."

"Shhh." Steve cupped her face to make her look at him and kissed her deeply. "I'm not going anywhere. He caught us off guard. Next time we'll be ready."

She wondered if he really believed that or if he just said it to calm her down. "I can't believe that on top of that HYDRA bullshit we have to deal with the Red Guardian!" She grunted and kissed him again. "As if we didn't already had enough on our plate with clearing Bucky's name. Now we have to deal with Malick, those super Winter Soldiers and that steriod manaic."

"We'll figure it all out ." He promised and stroked her cheek with his thumb. She closed her eyes and enjoyed it. "We bring Malick and HYDRA down. We stop the Winter Soldiers and the Guardian and get Bucky cleared. And then you and I are gonna take a long vacation. Somewhere beachy where you don't have to wear any clothes and I can admire your beauty. Like a private island."

"What makes you so sure about that?" He actually sounded pretty convinced that they could do all those things. And she had to admit a vacation sounded lovely.

He smiled sheepishly at her. "Because you and I can do anything together."

She huffed a laugh out and let him lead her back to the bedroom where she tried to get a bit more sleep.

* * *

Tony called them first thing in the morning to meet him in his lap. Natasha didn't really get much sleep and it was noticable on her face. She shocked herself when she looked into the mirror. She had dark circles under her eyes, bruises on her temple and nose. She looked like shit. She tried to cover it up with make-up but the bruises still shimmered through. She removed her foundation again because what was the point if it didn't cover anything. She changed into a top and jeans and walked with Steve and Bucky to Tony's lab. Steve's wounds from his fight with the Guardian were already healed and gone. She sometimes envied him and his serum.

Tony's eyes widended when he saw her but he made the smart decision not to mention how bad she looked. Steve walked over to the coffee maker and came back with three cups of coffee. She thanked him and took a sip. "Okay, what do you got?"

"I'm no Bruce Banner but I think I solved the riddle why Captain Comrade is so much stronger than our two supersoldiers." He opened a file on his screen and she could see DNA strings. Not that she had any idea what that meant. "He has his own super soldier serum in his veins. Pretty similiar to Bucky's. But there was something else in his blood. Some kind of stimulant."

"So he cheated?" Bucky asked. "That's his upper hand? He's doping? What a prick!"

She felt somehow relieved. Shoskastov was not invincible. He probably wasn't on that stuff 24/7, they just needed to find the right time to take him out. Without his uppers Steve could take him.

"There is more, those stimulants are kind of their own supersoldier serum." Tony continued. "Simmons contacted me and said there was a similiar case back at SHIELD?" He looked at her and Steve.

Wait, that did ring a bell. Wasn't there some kid that wanted to help soldiers but they died after they took the serum? "Rockwell!" She said to Steve. "Remember that mission in Madrid? He created his own replica of Project Rebirth. Yelena Belova used him to get to the serum. Maybe she gave it to Shoskastov."

"Who?" Tony asked and Bucky looked confused as well.

"The Red Guardian's name is Alexi Shoskastov." She explained.

Steve seemed to remember the mission and nodded. "Yeah, but didn't the formula die with Rockwell? So his supply is limited?" He looked at Tony. "Or is it possible to produce it just with a sample?"

"I don't think so. You can't pinpoint every ingredient without the formula. It's safe to assume that he can't replicate the serum."

"But didn't you just say this Rockwell serum kills its users? Maybe Shoskastov is already dead?" Bucky asked.

She doubted they had the luck that the problem would go away on its own.

"It's more than likely that the Guardian's originial serum is protecting him." Tony said and refilled his cup with coffee. "I don't think this steroid serum could kill you or Cap."

"You figured out why your suit was off?" Steve wanted to know.

"Not really but it had to come from the basement." Tony said. "Rhodey's system didn't shut down outside. Maybe the Guardian had something with him. I'll need to look more into it to make sure that it doesn't happen again."

* * *

Bucky and Steve left to meet with Matt and Nelson. She didn't go with them because she was in no mood to deal with Matt's bitching about her ignoring his calls. She needed to make a call herself. She had to talk to the one person who might knew something about Alexi Shostaskov and why he seemed to care about her. He only gave her his number for world-threatening emergencies but she figured Captain America's life on the line fell into this category. She walked back to her floor and got the burner phone out of the boot she was hiding it in. She dialed the only number that was programmed into the phone book.

"I'm still not convinced he's right for you." Fury said when he answered the phone. "Your face is all over the news, Natasha."

Someone filmed the scene in Vienna when she tried to escape with Steve and Bucky and they were caught by the CIA. The video had already over five million views on Youtube and the number was getting higher since the public now knew who the Winter Soldier really was. There were already online petitions that called for Captain America's best friend and WWII hero Bucky Barnes to get pardonned. Even the rest of the Avengers got some good press since they didn't harbour a criminal at the Tower but protected a victim of HYDRA. Malick was probably fuming in his mansion right now. He probably hoped that Bucky would tear the Avengers apart and not give them an image boost.

She was in no mood to talk with Fury about if Steve was right for her or not. She didn't call him to talk about her love life. "What do you know about the Red Guardian?"

"That he's dead." Fury answered way too quickly.

"You sure about that?"

"Natasha, what is this about?"

"I know he's not dead and I think you know that too." She sat down on the chair in her closet. "And I need you to tell me everything you know about Alexi Shostaskov."

Fury sighed on the other line. "Why now? What happened?"

"We ran into him and almost died."

"Are you okay?"

Images of a bleeding Steve in a choke hold flashed through her mind. "No, not really. He's hellbent on killing Captain America."

Fury sighed again and began to talk.

* * *

Natasha heard how Steve and Bucky came back into their apartment after their talk with the lawyers. They sounded quite excited so she figured it went well. She was still sitting in her closet and staring at her phone. She couldn't really believe what Nick just told her.

"Natasha? Are you here?" Steve yelled.

She got up and hid the burner phone in her boot. "Yeah, one sec!" She tried to collect herself before she walked into the living room. She didn't really want to think about what she now knew but she knew that she had to tell Steve about it.

Bucky and Steve were sitting on the couch when she joined them in the living room. "How did it go with Matt and Nelson?"

"Good." Bucky answered. "The Atteroney General wants to meet to talk about my case. Wants to hear my side of everything. And Karen Page's purse with her phone had been stolen and she already went to the cops before I got that call from her so it proves that I was tricked and lured out of the Tower."

She gave him a brief smile. She was happy for Bucky that he might be a free man soon. He didn't deserve to be thrown into the Raft for the the rest of his life or being experimented on by the CIA.

"Nat? You don't look so good, doll." Steve looked at her with worry in his eyes. "Is it your head? Do you need to go to the infirmary?" He was already up and walking towards her. She shook her head and sat down on the coffee table and motioned for Steve to sit back down.

"No, my head's fine." She said and folded her hands in her lap. "Don't worry, Steve. It's not that. I talked to Fury. About the Red Guardian."

Bucky and Steve both looked very interested. "Did he know anything?"

"There have been whispers about the Red Guardian being spotted in China in the last decade but since China is not very generous with their intel, nothing could be confirmed. He hasn't been connected to HYDRA so Fury thinks that he works with them to get to you, Steve." She took a deep breath and Steve reached over to take her hand and brushed his thumb over her skin. "He was created to kill American super soldiers. The next Captain America. And since the original one is back, he wants to kill you. To prove that he's the best and superior to you."

"Yeah by doping." Bucky muttered and Steve threw him a look for interrupting her.

"Did Nick tell you how _you_ fit into all of this?" Steve asked her softly. He seemed to sense that there was more.

She sighed. "Russia wanted to make sure that their super soldier was happy. They wanted him to have everything that he could possibly want. He was the Kreml's pride and joy. But he was lonely..." She trailed off to collect her thoughts. "He had no one to share his life with. Someone to make him happy."

"Nat?" Steve squeezed her hand.

"They wanted him to have a wife. Someone who was loyal to Russia and the KGB." She paused for a moment. "A Black Widow. According to Nick, he turned the other Widows down until he saw the one he wanted."

Steve grimaced and pulled her into his lap. "You don't have to keep talking. I think Buck and I know where this is going."

"There are no marriage certificates and I have no memories of a wedding or anything like that so I don't think that we got married in the end. Fury thinks I deflected before the wedding. And then shortly after the Guardian died in an explosion." She hide her face in Steve's neck and faintly heard how Bucky left the room to give them privacy. "It's not enough that the KBG made me whore myself out for Mother Russia, they also wanted to force me to marry someone."

"I'm so sorry, Natasha." He kissed her head and rubbed circles on her back to soothe her.

"This is so fucked up!" She whispered against his neck. "What if he wants to finish his mission to get me? He said that he wants to free me from you! I don't think he'll spare you again for me. Defeating and killing Captain America is his life's purpose."

"We'll stop him before it comes to that!"

She looked up from his neck. "Can you stop him? Are you capable of killing him?" Steve hated killing. He became a solider to protect people, not to kill them.

He looked into her eyes. "Yes, I can kill him. And I will kill him before he gets too close to you and thinks he can claim you as his price." He kissed her. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep you safe, Natasha. And I have no doubt that he would go after you the minute I'm out of the way."

She almost wanted to laugh at the fact that they both wanted to kill Shoskastov to keep the other one safe. What a pair they made. "Steve?" She kissed him softly. "Take me to bed."

"Are you sure? You got hurt pretty bad yesterday, Nat." He objected. "And you don't heal as fast as I do."

She brushed the pad of her thumb over his lower lip and he closed his eyes. "I want my boyfriend to make love to me." He checked her face and then nodded. He got up with her legs wrapped around his waist and was on his way to their bedroom when FRIDAY interrupted them.

"Captain Rogers, Miss Romanoff? I'm sorry to disturb you but Agent Ross is hovering over the Tower in a chopper and demands to talk to you and Sergeant Barnes."

Natasha groaned and unwrapped her legs from Steve's waist and he set her back on her feet. Bucky came out of his room and looked at them with uncertanity probably wondering why Ross was here.

God what did Ross want now?! She had been this close to have sex with her boyfriend in their own bed again and then that fucker had to show up and interrupt them. Couldn't he have shown up an hour later? Or two hours later?

Steve kissed her eyebrow. "Later." He promised her quietly and the three of them walked to the roof to meet Ross.

* * *

Ross came with Sharon Carter in tow and was pretty pissed that Bucky was allowed to stay at the Tower for the time being. He looked like would have loved to throw him into the Raft. It was kind of hilarious how Ross tried to stand up to Steve who was so much taller and more muscular than Ross. Ross begrudgingly left half an hour later but left Sharon there to keep an eye on Bucky since he didn't trust them to not hide him again.

Natasha offered Sharon coffee and cake after Ross was gone. "I'm sorry for Ross." Sharon said after sipping on her coffee. "He really makes me miss Fury."

"Well, I guess he's just trying to do his job." She could understand that Ross was just following protocol. "You think he's gonna become a problem for us?"

Sharon shook her head lightly. "Nah, I don't think so. He wants to become Director soon. He won't achieve that by pissing of the President. Ellis is the one after all who appoints that postion. So he's pissed and maybe will be a bit bitchy but he'll stay away from Barnes for now."

Natasha took a bite from her cheesecake. "Sorry, you're stuck here watching over Bucky."

Sharon shrugged her shoulders. "It's fine." She looked around. "This place seems pretty nice. And I'm closer to my aunt."

"How is Director Carter?"

Sharon placed her cup on the table and sighed. "There are now full days where she doesn't recognize any of us."

Natasha reached over to squeeze Sharon's hand for a moment. "I'm sorry. I can't imagine how hard it must be for your family."

She smiled sadly. "Thank you. Aunt Peggy has lived a great life. It breaks my heart that she doesn't remember it most of the time."

They finished their coffee and cake and talked about Sharon's stay at the Tower and Natasha asked her if she needed anything. She showed Sharon her rooms and left her to get settled it.

Natasha was on her way to her floor when FRIDAY alerted her that the Red Guardian showed up on traffic cams near Trenton. Fuck, did he already plan on finishing his mission? Trenton wasn't even a hundred miles away. Shoskastov could already be on his way to New York.

She met with the others in their conference room. Steve was already in his uniform with his shield on his back and she felt a rush of panic running through her body. She tried to ignore it and looked at the photos. It was definitely Alexi.

"Wheels up in five minutes." Steve announced and walked over to her. "You should sit this one out, Nat. You're not fully recovered from yesterday."

She shook her head. "No, I'm coming with. Bucky can't go and you need me. You can't order me to stay behind."

Steve looked like he wanted to argue but he eventually nodded. He always gave her what she wanted. Even if it was something he didn't want. "Okay, suit up."

She left to change into her catsuit and took a sniping rifle from the armory. Hopefully a single headshot would end one of their problems. She doubted that the Red Guardian could survive a bullet to the head with or without his extra serum.


	52. Chapter 52

**It gets a bit smutty at the end of the chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 52

Shostaskov showed up on traffic cams near an abandoned coal factory. It was obvious that he wanted them to track him down. He'd spend ten years under the radar and now he got sloppy? Of course not, he was luring them into a trap.

Natasha didn't let go of her sniping rifle during the twenty minutes flight to Trenton. Steve tried to take it out of her hands but she shook her head. Holding the rifle calmed her down for some reason. She prayed that she had the thing in her hands that would end this nightmare. She needed to put a bullet into Alexi's head. She still couldn't believe that she should have been his wife. Did he really think they were meant to be together or did he just thought that they were supposed to be together? Did he think the Red Room created the perfect wife for him? She almost laughed at that thought. Natalia Romanova hadn't been fit to be anyone's wife, she wasn't capable of love back then. The only thing she had loved during her time in the Red Room was Liho and they made her kill her only friend. That act made her cruel and cold. It took years, Clint Barton and his family and then Steve Rogers to warm her heart up. And if she would become someone's wife one day, she wanted to be Steve's. Steve looked at her like he had read her mind and walked over to her to cup her face and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She loved him so much, there was nothing she wouldn't do for him. And spilling more blood to keep him safe wasn't that big of a deal for someone like her. At least the Red Room gave her the skill set she neeeded to protect the one she loved.

"So what's the plan?" Sam asked interrupting her little moment with Steve. He kissed her forehead quickly again and then turned to the rest of the group.

"We surround him and give him the chance to surrender. If that doesn't work, we'll use lethal force." Steve decided. "We have to be careful. Shostakov could be on steroids again and using something to shut Tony and Rhodey's suits down. You two stay off the ground and cover us from above."

The quinjet landed on the roof of the main building of the coal factory. Natasha shouldered her sniping rifle when Steve continued to give them orders. "I'll go first. He's mainly here for me. I try to lure him to an open field." He looked at her. "If he doesn't surrender, you take the shot."

She nodded.

Steve jumped down the roof and Tony, Sam and Rhodey flew around the area to smoke out the Red Guardian. He was here, she could feel it. She followed Steve with her eyes until he was out of her sight and crawled through a hatch to get into the factory. She needed to find the perfect place to wait. She walked around the top floor and found a window that gave her the perfect view of the main square of the area. She postioned her rifle on the sill and looked through the lense waiting for her target.

"Anyone got eyes on the Guardian?" Steve asked through the comms but no one had seen him yet.

Natashs checked the area and suddenly saw something through her lense in another building. "There's movement on the third floor opposite the main building."

"Copy that." Steve answered and she saw him a minute later entering the building. Tony, Rhodey and Sam were still flying around the area looking for Shostaskov. She could see the face of the person on the third floor and it was not Shostaskov. She didn't know the man but she had seen the blank expression on his face before. Bucky had the same when he turned into the Winter Soldier and she was sure she had sported the same one when she had been working for the Red Room. That man had to be one of the five Winter Soldiers.

"Steve, it's not Shostaskov. It's one of the Winter Soldiers. HYDRA is here."

"Okay, you know the President's orders. Take him out."

Ellis told them that he did not want the Winter Soldiers out there and that he wanted them to be eliminated because the threat was too big. She waited until the Winter Soldier wasn't covered by a column and pulled the trigger. She hit him between the eyes and he fell to the ground.

"He's down."

"Good." Steve replied. "We have to assume that the others are here as well. Keep your eyes open and be careful."

Natasha briefly wondered if Tony would have a problem with killing the Winter Soldiers. He was technically a civilian compared to her and the others.

There was suddenly static in her ear and the line went dead. No one answered her.

She looked out of the window and saw Falcon in the sky a few hundred meters away from her. So their tech wasn't completely down. She didn't want to wait here like a sitting duck and was about to take her rifle to look for Steve when someone grabbed her hair and forced her to stand up. She knew without turning who was behind her. She was mad at herself for not realizing that he had been sneaking up to her.

Shostastov pinned her hands behind her back and dragged her away from the rifle. Steve never used his full strength on her so she had no comparison but the Guardian's hold on her was strong and she was unable to move. She tried to kick him with her legs but he seemed unbothered.

"Why did you come, Natalia?" He murmured into her ear and she got sick when she felt his breath on her neck. "Don't watch your lover die. I hope you used the time I gave you to say goodbye to him. Don't worry, Natalia. I will take good care of you and you'll forget the American in no time."

She gave him an ugly laugh. As if she could ever forget Steve and the love she had for him. It was now part of her DNA. She tried to get out of Shostaskov's arms but he just held her tighter. If he used anymore strength he would crush her. She stopped moving, Steve would be royally pissed if she died. She needed the Guardian to release his hold of her so she could get a Glock from her thigh holster and put a bullet in his brain. She had to play him.

"Why did you let Steve go, Alexi?" She used his first name to build intimacy between them.

"So you can say goodbye, Natalia." He felt him sniff her hair and she wanted to vomit. It was cute when Steve did it but Shostaskov doing it was just disgusting. "I know you think you love him but you don't, Natalia. You were made for me, my love. Not for a filthy American!"

"You wanted to marry me." She made her voice sound soft. "Do you still want to marry me?"

"You remember, my Natalia?" Shostaskov whispered into her hair. "I know you would remember me."

She really didn't remember anything and had the suspicion that not that much had happened between them. "Yes, I do." She lied and his hold of her became weaker. She decided to strengthen her lie. "Would you still marry me? Despite being a traitor? I want to be a wife but Steve said we couldn't get married." She said even though they had never spoken about marriage before. But she did know that Steve said that he wanted to be with her for the rest of his life, so she guessed that marriage was still on the table. "He said that Captain America couldn't marry someone like me. A Russian whore." She really hoped that the Guardian would buy the lie that Steve would call a woman a whore,especially the woman he loved. Because Steve would never say such ugly things about her or any other woman. But Shostastov seemed to buy it because he turned her around in his arms and put her feet back on the ground.

"Oh Natalia. Do you now see why I have to kill him?" He whispered and cupped her cheek with his hand. She forced herself to lean into his touch and could feel the burn scars on her skin. Wow, that explosion really got him. "He's not what he claims to be. Captain America is a lie and needs to die. Blood has to be spilled."

She smiled up at him. "You're right. Blood has to be spilled."

She charged her widow bracelets and pushed her wrist over his heart. He stumbled back at the shock and she used the moment to get her gun out of her holster. Shostaskov stared at her and came towards her. She aimed the gun at his forehead and fired two times. His head snatched back and he fell backwards to the ground. She moved closer to him and fired another shot at his heart to be sure. Steve was safe now.

She tried her comm again but there was still static. HYDRA must have overriden their communcation systems.

She ran back to her rifle and saw that Steve was downstairs on the main square fighting off HYDRA goons. They appeared to be normal agents and not Winter Soliders. Steve was fighting off two agents while another one aimed his gun at him a few feet away from him. She didn't think twice and shot the agent. Steve looked up and gave her a nod. She nodded back and saw something beaming out of the corner of her eye. It had to be the lense of another sniper. She looked for him and took him out with one single shot when she found him.

"Does anyone copy?" Tony suddenly asked over the comm. "Are we back online?"

"Yes, I can hear you." She answered and the others copied as well. "Shostaskov is dead." She announced and Steve immediately looked up to her.

"Are you hurt?" He asked with slight panic in his voice.

She shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Well, at least one problem is gone." Sam said. "Um, guys? We're getting company!"

"More HYDRA thugs?" Rhodey asked.

"Uno momento." Sam answered and then there was a pause. "Nope, it's SHIELD."

Natasha grabbed her rifle, shouldered it and left her postion to join Steve outside. They seemed to have taken all HYDRA agents out or the rest had disappeared. She stepped out of the entrance of the factory and Steve ran towards her and pulled her into his arms. His hold on her was so different compared to Shoskastov. She buried her face into his chest and the star on his uniform pressed into her skin but she didn't care.

Steve's hand cupped her cheek and she looked up at him. "Thank you for protecting me." He bowed his head down to kiss her. She moved her arms to his neck and the rifle fell off her shoulder. She didn't pay attention to it and kept kissing him.

"You two better stop making out right now." Tony said over the comms and she and Steve both groaned. "Coulson is here and I don't think his innocent eyes want to see his idol feeling up his protége."

Steve blushed and she told Tony kindly to go fuck himself. She pecked his lips, picked her rifle up and walked with Steve towards the SHIELD SUV that stopped in the middle of the main square. Coulson and Hill got out of the car and Natasha wondered how long it would take until Maria would quit Stark to return completely to SHIELD.

"Captain Rogers, Natasha." Coulson greeted them and shook their hands. Natasha was tempted to hold Steve's hand to see Coulson's reaction. "Stark already told us that the Red Guardian is dead?" She nodded.

"Good work, Natasha." Coulson said in a fatherly tone.

"Thanks, Phil."

Steve added that she also eliminated a Winter Soldier and both Phil and Maria looked impressed. She was proud of herself, she took two dangerous enemies out today. But most importantly she killed the man who wanted to murder the love of her life. She did good today. Maybe she could get Steve to take a bubble bath with her later to celebrate.

They checked the third floor with Coulson and Hill but the body of the Winter Soldier was gone. "It was still here half an hour ago." Steve said. "HYDRA must have taking it."

"They probably don't want us to do an autopsy on him." Maria added.

More SHIELD SUVs had arrived when they walked outside again and Coulson and his people took over. He promised to give the Avengers access to the results of Shoskastov autopsy since his body was still there where Natasha left him.

* * *

She and Steve debriefed Ellis on the short flight back to Manhattan and he said that Malick wanted to talk with him about his fear that SHIELD could be still HYDRA. Natasha had to admire Malick's boldness to pretend that he wanted to wipe out HYDRA. He was either just plain arrogant or he had an ace up his sleeve. She feared it was the latter. But at least Malick now only had four Winter Soldiers left and not five.

As soon as they landed she dragged Steve by his hand to the armory to drop the rifle off and then walked straight with him to their floor.

"Someone's impatient." Steve laughed.

She smirked over her shoulder and led him through the living room but stopped when she spotted Sharon and Bucky sitting on the floor by the coffee table playing Monopoly. How interesting!

Bucky looked up. "How did it go?"

Natasha continued to walk with Steve to their bedroom. "Shostaskov is dead and so is one of the Winter Soldiers."

"Try to keep it down, Romanoff! We have a guest!" Bucky yelled after them when she was about to close the bedroom door.

"We have soundproof walls here, Barnes." She said and shut the door.

She turned to Steve and he was already pressing her into the door and kissing her like his life depended on it. His hands moved to her thighs to remove her holsters and he placed them on the dresser next to them. He trailed wet kisses on her neck and started to unzip her catsuit while she got the shield of his back and dropped it to the floor. He got her zipper to her bellybutton and went to his knees to help her out of her boots.

"Bathroom" She rasped out when he lifted her foot to press a kiss to her sole.

He looked up with desire mixed with confusion in his eyes. "What?"

"Let's take a bath together." She said and ran her finger through his hair.

He smiled, got up and threw her over his shoulders. She was still laughing when he reached the bathroom and sat her down gently on the edge of the whirlpool. They really needed to get one for their place in Brooklyn. She let Steve get her out of her catsuit and she let the water run into the tub while he got out of his uniform. She checked the basket next to the whirlpool for bathbombs and threw two into the water and watched how they dissolved. Steve now in all his naked glory turned her to face him and leaned down to kiss her. She moaned into the kiss and pouted when he pulled away. He chuckled and turned off the water. He climbed into the bathtub and beckoned her to join him.

She got into the whirlpool and sat down on his lap leaning against his chest. Steve cupped her chin and tilted her head up to kiss her. She sucked his tongue into her mouth and began to rub herself against his erection. He took some of the foam and smeared it over her breasts. He looked quite enchanted by the sight of it and she wanted to tease him but only a moan left her lips when he suddenly pinched her nipple. She arched an eyebrow but he only gave her an innocent smile.

"You are so good to me, Nat." Steve whispered against her temple and moved a hand between her legs. "So perfect. It feels so good to know that my girl has my back out there. That you protect me." He circled her clit with his finger and she sighed happily. "I love you so much. You're the one, Natasha. I want you to know that."

Oh Lord, Steve was making her feel mushy. "I know that." She moaned out when he pressed a finger into her. "I feel the same way about you."

Steve kissed her while moving his finger in and out of her. "I need you inside me." She breathed out. She wanted to be filled by him, she wanted to be one with him.

"Anything for you." He whispered and lifted her gently off his lap. Water was running over the bathtub but she stopped caring about anything when she felt his tip at her entrance. She was in heaven the moment he helped her sink her down on his length.

* * *

 _As always thank you for your reviews, faves and follows! Means so much! Keep sending me your thoughts:)_


	53. Chapter 53 (rated M)

_Thank you for your feedback! Means so much to me!_

 _And a special thank you to Beck for your amazing review! I'm so happy you like my story and it put a smile on your face! Your review definitely made me smile! I think this chapter will make you very happy;)_

* * *

 **The first part of this chapter is rated M!**

Chapter 53

Steve woke up with a naked Natasha on his chest. He had to smile when he thought about last night and the things they did. They couldn't get enough of each other and made love until the early hours of the morning.

He was relieved that Shostaskov was dead and couldn't come for Natasha anymore. There had been no doubt on his mind that he would have tried to take her away and force her to be with him. He was so furious that the Red Room had wanted her to be the Red Guardian's wife and offered her to him like some price. Like some object and not a person with her own will.

Natasha began to stir and moved her head to the crook of his neck and kissed him there. "Morning, honey." She mumbled against his skin.

He pressed his lips to the top of her head. "Good morning, doll."

He could feel her smile, he knew that she loved that nickname. She moved her head up and blinked at him sleepily. It should be forbidden for one person to be so cute and sexy at the same time. She brushed her lips against his and stroked his cheek gently with her thumb. She could kill with her hands, she had killed with those hands yesterday but for him she had only gentle touches. He shivered at the thought that he was the only one who got to see the Black Widow like this. It made him love her even more, if that was even possible.

They lazily made out for some time and he felt her wetness on his stomach. He pulled away from the kiss and Natasha traced his lips with her fingers. He grabbed her thighs. "Come up here." He wanted to taste her. He loved to pleasure her with his mouth.

She smiled at him with wanton in her eyes and let him lift her up and lower her down on his face. He saw her grab the headboard when he licked over her folds. He licked, thrust and sucked and she rewarded him with soft moans and little gasps that he loved so much. He didn't know how many times he got her over the edge because he got so lost in her and only stopped when she tapped his hand on her thigh.

"Too much." She breathed out and plopped down next to him.

She looked at the ceiling breathing heavily and smiling. "I don't think there is a guy in the world who enjoys eating out a girl as much as you do."

He knew he was blushing but he still managed to grin at her. "I didn't hear you complaining when I had my head between your thighs."

"Never!" She laughed and rolled onto her stomach and lifted her hips in the air.

"Like this!" She ordered husikly and it was like he got even harder at her demand. He kneeled behind her and grabbed her hips to ease into her warmth. He wanted to push into her slowly but Nat pushed back until he was completely in her. He bit his lips at the feeling of being inside her. It didn't matter that they must have had sex like a thousand times, it still felt so fucking good every single time. He thrust into her slowly and leaned over her to kiss her neck and suck on her earlope. She took his hand that he put next to her head and interwined their fingers.

"Help me up." She moaned and he sat back up on his knees and pulled her up with him. Her head rolled on his shoulder and they both moved in sync.

"Nothing will ever feel as good as this." He grunted into her ear when she clenched her walls around him.

"Mhm." She moaned against his lips and gave him a wet and sloppy kiss. He moved their still interwined hands between her legs to tease her. "You're so good to me, Steve. I love how you feel inside me. So fucking perfect." He snapped his hips hard up into her and she screamed his name. "Yes, just like that. God, don't stop. Keep going, Captain!" She growled into his mouth and kissed him while he thrust harder into her. He pressed his hand down on her clit and she was gone taking him with her.

They were both sweaty and out of breath when they came down from their high. They kept kissing while he grew soft inside of her and eventually slipped out. Natasha got up from his lap and he admired her backside while she got out of bed.

"We are so going on that vacation when this is all over so we can make love all day." She said arching her back.

Yeah that sounded like a great idea. Maybe the best idea anyone has ever had. "Tell me when and where, doll."

She smirked and he followed her into the bathroom to take a shower. They really needed one after all the fun they had last night and this morning. Natasha was washing his body with a luffa sponge when she suddenly went to her knees with a wicked grin on her lips. "Gotta return the favour, babe." His mind went blank the moment her lips wrapped around him.

* * *

They met with the others on the common floor for breakfast. Tony announced that he had to go to his alma mater tomorrow to receive an award but promised to return immediately to the Tower if they needed him for a mission.

"You think Malick's working on his next move?" Rhodey asked between sips.

Natasha filled her bowl with oats. "Probably. He's one Winter Soldier down. He needs to change his plans." She dropped some raspberries on top of her oats before adding almond milk. "Tony, did FRIDAY find anything on Malick's computers?"

"She found some money transactions to London." Tony answered. "Could have been for Baskhi who lives there but I didn't find the connection yet. Oh and Coulson's agents brought down two HYDRA cells in the last days."

That was good. More people could cover more ground and HYDRA had less chances to act against it. "Does Malick already realize that we got the list?"

Natasha grabbed the Nutella to dig her spoon in. No matter how healthy her breakfast was, she always ate a few spoons of Nutella with it. To balance it out as she had explained to him. "Definitely. He might think that Ward sold it to us. I don't think he knows that Ward's dead."

"Why don't you just skip the oats and eat the Nutella on bread like us normal people?" Sam asked.

Nat licked it of her spoon and grinned. "It has less calories that way. Bread makes you fat." She winked and digged her spoon back into the glass.

Sam rolled his eyes and took a huge bite out of his toast. "I have no idea what you mean."

In that moment Bucky walked into the dinning room with Sharon by his side. He pulled the chair out of her and sat down next to her at the dinning table. He didn't think much about that gesture because he'd seen Bucky pull out a chair for lots of women including Natasha and Wanda until he saw Nat smirking behind her latte. Did he miss something?

"Aren't you supposed to watch him and not hang out with him, Sharon?" Sam asked annoyed. He and Bucky still pushed each other's button constantly but Steve came to realize that this was their thing now.

Sharon slighly blushed and Bucky rolled his eyes at him. "Don't worry, birdbrain. I still got time for you!"

Sam huffed. "Oh please as if I want to spend time with you. The less I have to see your ugly face the better!"

Natasha put her latte down and smiled at Sam and Bucky sweetly. "So, when are you two are gonna do something about all that sexual tension?"

Tony and Rhodey laughed and Sharon tried to hide her grin behind her cup of coffee. Sam and Bucky both looked at each other and then shook themselves in disgust.

"And if he was the last person on earth, no thank you!" Sam said and Bucky seemed to agree.

Tony got up. "Okay, kids. As entertaining breakfast was I have to get ready for a business lunch."

"Since when do you get ready for anything?" Rhodey wanted to know.

Steve was a bit confused himself. Tony's motto was mostly to just wing it which drove Steve insane from time to time. He liked to be prepared.

"Since now!" Tony snapped and left.

"Okay what was that?"

Steve looked over to Nat who rolled her eyes at them. "He has a business lunch. Emphasis on _business_! Now I wonder who he could have that lunch with..."

" _Oh_!"

"Yep." Natasha plopped the p when she answered Rhodey. Of course, Tony had a meeting with Pepper and was probably nervous about it. They were still broken up but he knew that Tony wanted her back.

After breakfast Bucky had to go with Sharon to answer some questions that the CIA had for him. The interview would be in the Tower but would be streamed to Everett Ross and no Avenger was cleared to watch it. Since they had no more leads at the moment where the other four Winter Soliders could be and SHIELD was dealing with the HYDRA cells, there wasn't much to do.

Sam and Rhodey left the Tower to go to a VA and Steve was thinking about what he and Nat could do. Maybe take a walk through Central Park or maybe she would let him draw her. He used the time while Natasha was talking to Secretary Ross to come up with a romantic idea on how they could spend the rare free day. He still had lots of making up to do for leaving her in the middle of the night three weeks ago.

He was on his computer ordering tickets for the ballet when Natasha came back to their floor. She was still talking on the phone but he didn't think to Ross. He highly doubted she would call the Secretary of State "sweetie".

"I'm sorry, sweetie!" She sighed into the phone and plopped down beside him on the couch. He quickly shut his laptop so she wouldn't see the tickets, he wanted to surprise her. "I can't really leave at the moment." She paused to listen to the other person. Who was she talking to? "Another time, pumpkin. Okay?" Natasha bit her lip and looked guilty. Who was on the phone? "I try. Be good to your mommy. Bye, sweetie!" She ended the call and leaned against the couch. He figured she had been talking to either Cooper or Lila.

"I just disappointed a seven year old girl." Nat sighed. "Not really the greatest feeling in the world."

He took her phone out of her hand and put it on the coffee table. "Why? What did she want?"

"She said that I hadn't been visiting her in ages and that I should come to her. She has a new bunny she needs to show me." She smiled. "She said she misses me and doesn't even know anymore how I look like." Her smile disappeared. "Do you think that's actually possible? That she could forget me? She's still so young!"

He opened his laptop and cancelled his ticket order. He knew what they could do today and hopefully they would get to add another day. He got up and pulled her by her hand to the bedroom.

"Now? I'm not really in the mood, Steve."

He turned around to look at her and rolled his eyes. "Pack your bags!"

"What?" She looked at him with confusion.

He led her to the closet and pulled a suit case out. "We're taking a quinjet to visit Clint and his family."

She beamed at him but then her smile dropped. "We can't just leave. Not now when..."

He shook his head. "There is nothing we can do right now and if anything comes up, we're back in Manhattan in 90 minutes." He walked over to her and gave her a kiss. "You deserve a break, Nat."

She seemed to think about what he said and then nodded. "Okay." She laughed and kissed him once more before starting to pack her suit case.

* * *

Cooper and Lila came running towards the jet when Natasha landed the plane. The others had no problem with him and Nat leaving for the weekend and promised to call if they needed their help.

Steve was a bit nervous, the only time he had met Laura and the kids was when Ultron happened but now they would actually get to know him. They were Natasha's family and he wanted them to like him. They had to like him because he wanted to be with Natasha until the very end. There was no one else for him.

Natasha kissed his cheek before she got out of the plane and ran towards the kids. She lifted Lila up and twirled her around and then hugged Cooper. He let them greet each other before he walked down the ramp of the jet.

"Hello, Captain Rogers." Cooper said shyly and held his hand out.

"Please call me Steve." He shook the boy's hand and he smiled at him. He looked up from Cooper and saw Clint and Laura arm in arm standing on the porch watching the scene before them.

Lila didn't pay any attention to Steve and dragged Natasha by her hand to what looked like stables. "Toffee is sooo cute, Auntie Nat! He's still a little baby!"

Cooper told him that Lila wasn't allowed to go into the stables without him and ran after his sister and aunt. He got Nat's suitcase and his duffelbag out of the quinjet and walked to the house where Laura greeted him with a warm hug and Clint with a firm handshake. Nat had told him that Clint didn't know that things had been rocky between them but Clint wasn't dumb. He probably had a shovel talk coming and he definitely deserved it.

Laura showed him their room which was the same one he had shared with Nat during the whole Ultron thing.

"I'm so glad that we finally get to spend time with you, Steve." Laura said over selfmade iced tea. Nat was still outside with the kids and Clint joined them to say hello to her.

"Me too. I know how much you all mean to Nat."

Laura nodded. "And she means a lot to us. She's family. And I hope you know how special she is." Laura grabbed his hand. "How special it is that she gave you her heart. Don't take that for granted."

He recognized a threat when he got one. It was scarier when it came from such a warm and kind person as Laura. "I'll do whatever it takes to make her happy and to keep her safe."

She eyed him carefully and released her grip on his hand.

Natasha, Clint and the kids came back and Nat greeted Laura with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. They all sat down at the dinning table. "I think now is the right time to tell her." Laura smiled warmly at Clint and laced their hands together.

"Tell me what?" Natasha seemed clueless and he was pretty curious himself what they wanted to tell her.

Laura placed her other hand on her stomach. "I'm pregnant. 13 weeks. And if it's a girl we are gonna name her Natasha."

Nat's eyes widended and she gasped. "What?" She got up and hugged Laura and then Clint. "Oh my God! Congratulations! And wow! I don't know what to say!"

Clint laughed. "Just say thank you, Tasha!"

* * *

They played with Cooper and Lila outside all afternoon while Laura and Clint prepared a barbecue. The food was amazing and he really enjoyed that he got to spend time with Nat's family. And it warmed his heart how happy she looked while they were sitting outside eating ribs and the kids told stories about their school.

After dinner and when the sun had set he walked with Natasha through the forest that surrounded Clint's farm to a glade where fireflies were supposed to be. Laura said it was very romantic with a wink. And she was right. It looked like thousands of lights were in the air lighting up the field. They stopped in front of the glade and he wrapped his arms around Nat from behind and rested his chin on top of her head. She hummed a melody he didn't recognize and swayed with him to it.

He had enjoyed today immensely. He was so happy for her that she got to spend time with her family and so proud that the baby would be named after Natasha. He knew how excited she was about that.

God, he loved her so much. He wished someone would have told him before he crashed the Valkyrie into the ice that everything would be okay, that he would have to sleep for the next seventy years because his soulmate wasn't born yet. He didn't know if he believed in destiny but he did know that he was meant to be with her. Her hums turned into words and she sang a Russian song he didn't completely understand but it didn't matter. Her voice sounded so beautiful. She was so beautiful, her heart and soul were beautiful. He wanted to be with her for the rest of their lifes, standing on fields and watching fireflies.

"Marry me." He blurted out and Natasha stopped singing.

She turned around in his arms to face him. "What?"

She looked at him with wide eyes. God, he was doing it all wrong. He didn't even have a ring! Or prepared a speech! He didn't even asked her on his knees! This was why he liked to prepare things!

"Do you mean that or did you just say that in the spur of the moment?" She asked and searched his eyes for something.

He got on one knee and took one hand between his. "I love you. I think I love you since you jumped off my shield three years ago. I will always love you, Natasha. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are the first and last woman I will ever love." He took a deep breath. "Will you marry me, Natalia Alianovna Romanova?"

She sank to her knees and kissed him. "Yes!"

"Yeah?" He couldn't really believe his luck! She was going to be his wife! He was going to be her husband!

"Yes, you dork!" She laughed and kissed him again.

"I swear I get you a ring!" He promised between kisses.

She laughed again. "That's fine. That's not what's important." She looped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. "I love you, Steve."

"That was kinda implied when you said yes." He grinned at her and pecked her lips.

She started to unbotton his shirt. "You think the fireflies would mind if you would make love to your fiancée now?"

 _Fiancée._ That word made his heart flutter in his chest. She was his fiancée and one day she would be his wife. He slid his hands under her sweater and she sighed. "I think the fireflies are expecting me to make love to my fiancée."


	54. Chapter 54 (rated M)

**This chapter is rated M!**

* * *

Chapter 54

Steve was still sleeping when Natasha woke up the next morning. Her back was pressed against his chest and he breathed into her neck. She was now an engaged woman! She was going to get married one day. She couldn't believe her luck that a man as good and wonderful as Steve wanted to marry _her_.

She had to smile, she was going to be Steve's wife. And she loved the irony of how the Red Room had wanted her to be the wife of the Red Guardian and instead she would be the wife of Captain America in the near future. Madam B was probably rolling in her grave right now. Too bad the old hag was already dead (okay that was her fault, Natasha killed her after she joined SHIELD) but she would have loved to see the look on Madame B's face when she got the news that one of her girls would marry Captain America. She couldn't think of a bigger fuck you to Mother Russia.

She snuggled closer to her financé, holy shit Steve was her fiancé!, and felt his morning wood pressing against her. She was tempted to rub herself against him but he deserved a bit more sleep after last night. He didn't want her to lay naked on the forest floor or hurt her knees on the ground while riding him so he held her up standing without pushing her against anything and made love to her. She knew how strong he was but she was still impressed that he managed to hold her up and fucked her at the same time. She guessed that the fireflies got to see quite some show yesterday. They put their clothes back on and snucked into the barn of the Barton farm for more fun. She felt like she had been in a romance novel when Steve lowered her on a blanket on a hay bale and worshipped her body while whispering into her ear how he couldn't wait to be her husband. Captain America was going to be her husband! She almost giggled at that thought.

The memories of the last night aroused her and she began to rub herself unconsciously against Steve's growing erection. He moaned in his sleep and she moved her leg so that his cock brushed between her wet folds. She knew he was awake when his arms tightened around her and he blew air into her neck.

"Morning, sweatheart." He mumbled against her neck and then sucked on her pulse point.

She moaned and pushed harder against him to give him a hint where she wanted him. "Morning, Steve."

He soflty laughed at her attempts to get him into her. "Greedy little thing." He chided her but she knew that he wanted it as badly as she did. She wanted to come up with a good comeback but she could only moan when he finally pushed into her. They couldn't move much with them both being on their sides but Steve slowly rocking into her was perfect. She craned her neck to kiss him. There was no need to reach any climaxes, they both just enjoyed being connected in the most intimate way.

"You're gonna wake me up like that everyday when you're my wife?" He chuckled into her mouth and brushed his finger over her clit.

She kissed him and raked her nails soflty over his thigh which made him moan into their kiss. "You say like it's a onesided thing." She breathed out when he hit a sweet spot inside of her. "I'm enjoying this too."

He laughed and fondled her breast and thrusted gently into her until they both reached their orgasms almost at the same time. He kissed her neck and stayed inside her until he was soft and slipped out. She knew that it wouldn't take much to get him going again but she was too exhausted for another round after last night and she didn't know if maybe Lila or Cooper would storm into the room after they woke up and she didn't want them to see their aunt in a compromising postiton with Captain America.

She rolled onto her other side to face Steve and he smiled his dopey grin that she loved so much. She smiled back and had probably a similiar expression on her face. She never thought her heart would be capable of so much love but it practically burst with the love she had for him.

Steve cupped her cheek and they traded lazily kisses. She hoped their marriage would be like this, waking up together, making love, kissing each other until they were out of breath and then they would go out to save the world.

She couldn't wait to be his wife. But they had to have a wedding first. Steve was Catholic, did he want to get married in a church? Did she want that? And he was Captain America, America's beloved son, did they have to announce their engagement? Did the wedding had to be streamed on tv like the European royal ones? America loved Steve but would they except her as his wife? Wouldn't they want an American girl for him? She did have the American citizienship but most probably saw her still as Russian. Did Steve want a big wedding? God, who did they have to invite? Probably a lot of important people wanted to attend Captain America's wedding. Was she supposed to wear a puffy wedding dress that made her look like a marshmallow? She loved fashion and gowns but she had never seen a wedding dress before she had liked. God, she couldn't marry the love of her life in some common wedding dress. She saved Karl Lagerfeld's ass once, maybe Chanel could make her a dress.

"Natasha?" Steve stopped kissing her when he noticed that she wasn't really into it. "Are you okay?" His eyes flickerd over her face. "Do you have doubts about us getting married?"

"What? No!" She shook her head and stroked Steve's cheek with her thumb and he relaxed. "No, not about that. I want this! I want to be married to you!"

Steve smiled and moved his head to kiss the palm of her hand. "Good! I want this too. I don't think I ever wanted anything more than you becoming my wife."

"Do you want a church wedding?" She blurted out. She had to know that because she realized that she didn't want to get married in a church. She wasn't religious and it felt wrong to get married in a church when she didn't really believe in God. And she didn't want a big wedding either. But what if Steve did? Maybe he wanted a big church wedding?

He shook his head. "No, I don't. I don't really care where we get married as long as we get married. If you wanna elope to Vegas that's fine by me."

She wrinkled her nose and he laughed. No, she didn't want to get married by Elvis. She wanted a small, intimate ceremony with their friends to witness it. "I want our friends there when we get married." She was sure that Steve wanted Bucky to be his best man and she wanted the Bartons to be there. Lila could be a flower girl.

Steve kissed her forehead softly. "That sounds great. I'm sure Tony has a mansion somewhere that we can use for the wedding." He took her left hand and kissed her ring finger. "Let's talk about your engagement ring. Anything I have to remember when I buy you one?"

"You don't have to get me one."

He kissed the place on her ring finger again where an engagement ring would be. "I want you to have one. You are a bride to be and you should have a ring. You deserve a pretty diamond ring."

She had to admit that she liked the idea of having something on her finger that showed she was engaged to him. "Nothing too flashy or too big. Something simple."

"Something elegant." He continued. "Like you. I will get you the perfect one, I promise."

She had no doubt that he would find the one that she would love. Wow, she would wear that ring for the rest of her life. But there was something else on her mind. "Steve? Would you mind if we kept our engagement to ourselves until the thing with Malick is dealt with?"

"I've been actually thinking the same thing. Can we tell Bucky though?" He smiled sheepishly. "I want him to know about us and he can keep a secret."

"Of course you can tell him." She thought about telling Clint but decided against it for now. They had a baby on their way that was already exciting enough and she didn't want to take away their thunder.

She and Steve spent the rest of the day at the farm and looked after Cooper and Lila while Clint and Laura went to the doctor for a check up and came back with an ultrasound picture of the baby. It would still take weeks until they could tell the gender of the baby. She really hoped it was a girl, she liked the idea that there would be another Natasha. She was so honoured that they wanted to name the child after her. It was almost as great as being engaged to Steve. So much had happened in the last 24 hours. She was going to be an aunt again, the baby would be named after her and she got engaged.

* * *

They took the quinjet back in the evening and she felt a bit guilty that she hadn't told the Bartons about their engagment but this trip was all about the baby. They could come another time to celebrate her and Steve.

Bucky was the only one at the Tower when they came back. Sam and Rhodey went to a concert, Tony had his thing at MIT and Sharon left to spend the weekend in DC with her family.

Bucky was on the couch reading a book when she and Steve walked into the living room. She was surprised that Ross let Sharon just take the weekend off from her Bucky watch but then he moved his leg and she saw the ankle monitor peaking through. Of course Ross ordered Sharon to give Bucky one. She could understand the precaution but seriously where would Bucky go?

"Hey guys!" He looked up from his book and put it on the coffee table. He lifted his leg up to show them his ankle monitor.

Steve grimaced at the sight. "Was it really necessary to give you one?"

Bucky shrugged. "According to Ross, yes. But the Attorney General wants to come by next week to talk about my case, so I do whatever they want me to. How was your trip?"

She wanted to answer him but Steve beat her to it. "I asked Nat to marry me and she said yes!" He yelled out. Okay, that was one way to announce it.

Bucky stared at them with wide eyes. "What?" His gaze went to her left hand. "No ring?"

Steve blushed. "I didn't plan to propose but it was the right moment. I'll get her one, don't worry Buck!"

"You better! Your future wife deserves a diamond!" Bucky got up and hugged Steve. Then he moved to her and lifted her off the ground with his hug. She was a bit surprised at his reaction but patted his back. He let her down again and smiled. " I guess that means you're gonna be my sister in law."

She knew that Steve and Bucky considered each other brothers so she guessed he was right. "Looks like it."

He left to go to the kitchen and she looked at Steve who looked pretty happy with what just happened. "I guess he's okay with me becoming your wife."

"Did you have doubts about that?" Steve seemed puzzled. "You know that Bucky loves you, right? I sometimes think he likes you better than me" He laughed out.

Well, she did fear that Bucky maybe thought she wasn't good enough for Steve. She knew how protective Bucky was of Steve. Bucky came back with a bottle of vodka and three shot glasses.

"We didn't have any champagne." He explained, filled the glasses and handed her and Steve one. Bucky raised his glass. "I am so happy for the two of you. I wish you a life full of love and happiness. To the happy couple."

They dranked the vodka and thanked Bucky for his toast. He suddenly placed his hand on her shoulder. "I made Steve a promise over eighty years ago because he's my family. And now you're my family too and I'm making you the same promise. I'm with you 'til the end of the line, Natasha!"

Steve had told her about the promise they made each other during one of their phone calls when he left after DC to look for Bucky. She knew how sacred this promise was to both of them and she was so touched that Bucky thought that it should now include her.

"Thank you, Bucky." She whispered. "I'm with you til the end of the line too." And she meant it, Bucky was her family now and she would never let anything happen to him.

They smiled at each other and then looked at Steve who had tears in his eyes.

"Serioulsy?" Bucky asked amused.

Steve made a face. "Excuse me for being touched by this beautiful moment!" And Natasha snorted. "I'm with you both til the end the of the line, too by the way. Even though you make fun of me!"

"Owww, poor baby." She teased and kissed his cheek. She turned to Bucky. "We're keeping this low until the whole HYDRA is sorted out, okay?"

Bucky nodded and then his face lit up. "Does that mean that Sam doesn't know about your engagement?"

She and Steve jerked their heads in a nod.

"Hahahah!" Bucky looked really pleased with that. She almost felt sorry for Sam but she was too busy being giggy about her engagement.


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 55

Steve left after breakfast to go to their place in Brooklyn. When Natasha asked him if she should come with him, he blushed slightly and told her it was not necessary. Did he already want to look for an engagement ring?

She went with Bucky through some HYDRA files to find dirt on Malick and she hoped that Bucky would maybe remember working with Malick as the Winter Soldier. Sam later joined them and Bucky stayed true to his words to not tell anyone about their engagement but he grinned at Sam from time to time which made him uneasy. She tried to focus on the reports that Coulson had sent about the HYDRA cells they busted but she kept thinking about the wedding. Should she go and buy wedding magazines? Was that something brides did? Should she make a Pinterest account to pin the wedding together? Who knew how long it would take until they destroyed HYDRA once and for all? She wanted to be Steve's wife as soon as possible.

"Natasha?" Sam interrupted her train of thougths. "You still here?"

She nodded and kept looking through the reports. Sam tried to tease Bucky about Sharon but he was having none of that. She was tempted to ask him about Sharon herself but she figured that he probably didn't know himself what was happening between them. If Bucky wanted to talk about Sharon he would come to her.

An hour later Coulson called her and asked her if she and Steve could come to the Playground tomorrow to talk about Malick and HYDRA. She hoped that SHIELD found something. Coulson gave her the coordinates and she promised that they would be there tomorrow around noon.

They didn't find much in the files and Sam and Bucky excused themselves to go the gym floor. She wanted to join them at first but figured that she could use the time to check the internet for wedding ideas. And she had to contact Lagerfeld to remind him that he owed her a favour, she shouldn't probably wait to long to do that. She had no idea how long it took to make a wedding dress.

She was so deep into her research that she didn't notice that Steve was suddenly back and in the living room. "Hey, Nat."

She looked up from her laptop and smiled at him. "Hey, babe. Got what you wanted?"

He nodded smiling and sat down next to her on the couch, he took the laptop out of her hands and placed it on the coffee table. He pulled something out of his pocket and held it out to her. It was a necklace, no wait it were his dog tags. "It probably takes some time until I find the perfect ring for you and I wanted you to have something from me now."

He wanted her to wear his dog tags? She knew how much they meant to him and that he kept them in his nightstand because he was afraid that he could lose them if he wore them. "Steve..." She whispered and was so touched. "I can't accept this. I know how important they are to you."

Steve shook his head lightly. "You should have something from me. I want you to have it. If you don't like them than we can melt them to turn them into a necklace or something."

What? "No!" She said quickly and snatched them out of his hand. "Don't do that! I feel very honoured that you gave them to me." She smiled and put the dog tags around her neck.

"And I feel very honoured that you want to wear them." He gave her a beautiful smile that make her butterflies dance and cupped her face to kiss her. "I love you." He whispered against her lips and kissed her deeply. Natasha sighed into the kiss and leaned down on the couch pulling Steve over her. He trailed kisses over her jaw and neck and played with the dog tags. She slid her hands under his shirt and caressed his back.

"Where's Buck?" He whispered against her neck.

"Training with Sam, he will be gone for some time." She moaned out when Steve sucked on her pulse point. She pushed him up to get out of her sweater. The dog tags fell between her breasts and Steve clearly enjoyed the sight because he licked his lips and then leaned down to kiss the top of her tits and was about to push the cups of her bra down when someone shrieked.

"OH GOD! I'm so sorry!" Sharon yelled with her back to them. Steve got as red as a tomato and grabbed a pillow to cover his erection when he sat up. Natasha couldn't help but laugh when she pulled her sweater back on.

"We're decent, Sharon. You can turn around." Natasha told her with amusement in her voice.

Sharon turned around and was almost as red as Steve. "I'm really sorry for...um, walking in on you. I was looking for Bucky. Ross wants to talk about him about the Winter Soldiers."

"He's on the gym floor." Steve muttered out and Sharon quickly left.

Natasha was still smirking when she pulled the pillow on Steve's lap away to check if he was still in the mood, he definitely still was. Her hands went to his belt but he stopped her. "We'll continue this in the bedroom." He grunted and picked her up.

* * *

Coulson was already waiting for them when the quinjet landed on the hangar of the Playground. Tony wanted to come with them and she begrudgingly let him. He probably just wanted to poke his nose into SHIELD's framework and annoy Coulson. Sam joined them as well since Coulson said that they could need some help to raid another HYDRA base. Sam excused himself to look for Bobbi. Natasha did tell him that she had an on-and off thing with her ex-husband but he still seemed to want to figure out if he got a chance with her.

Coulson led them into the Playground and showed them their rooms to sleep in if the whole thing would take longer. Coulson seemed a bit shocked when she told him nonchalantly that she would be sharing a room with Steve. He obviously didn't know that she was in a relationship with Captain America and Steve looked so happy when she said that they only needed three rooms. She knew she did something right.

"So what's worse?" Tony asked Coulson with a smirk on his face. "Your idol banging your protegée or your protegée banging your idol?"

Steve blushed, Coulson coughed and she only rolled her eyes. "Shut the fuck up, Stark!"

"What? I'm just making conversation, Natasha!"

She gave him a light scrowl, Steve would be probably to be embarrassed and self-conscious to make love to her tonight if they had to stay the night. Damn it, she slept so much better after he wore her out!

Phil seemed to collect himself rather quickly after that revelation. "Anyways, I have a little surprise for you in our interrogation room." He said with a smirk.

Tony and Steve looked as clueless as as she felt. Who did SHIELD bring in?

"Follow me." Coulson said and they followed him down the hallway to what looked like his office. Phil walked to his desk and typed on his tablet and the screen behind him showed a windowless room and a table. And at that table was Sunil Bakshi sitting.

"Holy shit!" Tony exclaimed and Natasha had to agree. How did they get him?

"How long is he in custody?" Steve asked. "Did he already talk?"

Coulson shook his head. "We tracked him down two days ago. He wants to talk to an Avenger. He's willing to cooperate if we offer him protection. It almost looks like HYDRA dropped him. If I had to guess his only purpose was to free Barnes and find the other Winter Soldiers... "

"And now he fears that HYDRA's gonna kill him." Natasha finished for him. Well that was certainly something they could work with. If he had been truly and utterly loyal to HYDRA he would have killed himself before SHIELD got to him. But he was still alive and hoping for protection and she was sure that he was willing to give up a few things for that.

"I'll talk to him." She offered and Coulson nodded.

"I was hoping you would."

Tony wanted to explore the Playground and Steve offered to join him to keep him from causing too much trouble.

Coulson smiled at her when Steve and Tony were out of his office. "I'm happy for you, Natasha."

"Thanks?"

He laughed. "You deserve to have someone in your life. You've come such a long way since you broke my nose."

She grimaced at that. Back in her early days when she've had her episodes she had killed SHIELD agents and broke Phil's nose. She was the reason his nose looked different. "Yeah about that... I'm sorry!"

Coulson waved her off. "It's fine. You didn't do it on purpose and I think it gave me a more distinguished look."

"Did May tell you that?" She smirked.

"I have no idea what you mean."

"Sure you don't. You wanna go over Bakshi's file before I talk to him?"

Coulson nodded and motioned for her to sit down.

* * *

Bakshi agreed to give up names in exchange for a new identity and enough fonds to live a good life. Coulson seemed to agree to the deal but Natasha wouldn't be surprised if he gave a kill order after they let Bakshi go. Only a dead Nazi was a good Nazi.

As it turned out Bakshi wasn't dumb and he collected dirt on other high-ranking HYDRA members. He didn't give up Malick, either because he was too scared or because he simply didn't know that Malick was his boss. Natasha was sure that only a handful of people knew who the leader of HYDRA was. The less people knew, the lower the risk was that someone would talk.

Coulson said he had to make some calls to get him the new identity and the money but he would have them by tomorrow. Bakshi promised in return to give them everything he had on HYDRA as soon as he got his new ID and bank account. So they would definitely have to stay the night. They went back to the quinjet to get their duffelbags and dropped them off at their rooms.

Tony left to go to the labs to persuade FitzSimmons into working for him but Natasha had the suspicion that they would stay at SHIELD. People who worked with Coulson stayed loyal to him. If she had known after the fall of SHIELD that he was rebuildling it and if she hadn't been with Steve, she would have rejoined the agency because of Coulson.

Bobbi whispered to her when she ran into her that she and Hunter were currently not together and that she wanted to take Sam out for a few drinks. Well, maybe at least Sam would get laid tonight because Steve still seemed flustered about Tony's comment to Coulson and probably didn't want to make his way into her pants later. He had been embarrassed enough when Sharon caught them making out yesterday. Not that Natasha thought that Coulson would walk into their room. He was probably too scared about what could happen on the other side of the door.

So that only left her and Steve to accept Coulson's invitation for dinner at a restaurant a few miles away from the Playground. She wasn't suprised that he and the others lived at the base but she was happy that she and Steve had their own place in Brooklyn and she couldn't wait to go back to it. The Tower was amazing and had everything you could possibly want but it wasn't home. She wondered if Bucky would still live with them after his name got hopefully cleared or if he would stay at the Tower or look for his own place. She should talk with Steve about that. She liked living with Bucky but she wanted to live with her husband alone after they got married.

Dinner with Coulson was nice. It reminded her of the time when he was her handler and he took her every year on her birthday to a fancy restaurant to celebrate. She knew that Coulson had played an important role in the decision if she could stay at SHIELD and she would forever be thankful for that.

Steve asked Coulson questions about SHIELD and how the agency wanted to prevent that it got infiltraded by HYDRA again. Coulson answered all of his questions eagerly and she wondered quite amused who loved Steve more. Her or Coulson? She didn't think the answer was that obvious with the way Coulson's eyes were glued to Steve and he lit up everytime Steve complimented his leading skills. She remembered Tony's comment from earlier and Coulson was probably more shocked that she was debauching his idol than Steve banging her. Coulson still had that starstruck look he had when he introduced Steve to her on the Helicarrier four years ago. Who would have thought they would fall in love with each other? She definitely didn't and she would have never dreamed that Captain America would propose to her one day.


	56. Chapter 56

_Shoutout to Rembrandtdt for your regular reviews!_

* * *

Chapter 56

As it turned out Bashki started to sing like a canary once he got his new identity and an account filled with ten millon dollars, even though Natasha suspected that he would never be able to use that money. Bashki gave them the leaders of the European HYDRA and SHIELD and Interpol got to work to arrest them. She hoped that they would lead them to Malick who was undoubtfully their boss and was probably well protected. Who knew how much dirt he had collected on others during his decades long political career.

Bashki was released by Coulson's order and brought to a secure location by May. Natasha had no doubt that she would have been sent to go with them if she was still with SHIELD. Coulson could have sent any agent to get Bashki to his new life but he chose May. Because she was a good assassin.

"Is there even actual money in that account?" Natasha asked after May and Bashki left.

Coulson's mouth twitched in amusement. "You're doubting my word? Of course that bank account is real. He'll just never get to enjoy it."

She smirked back at him and got to the room she was sharing with Steve at the Playground to change into her catsuit. SHIELD wanted to take down the first HYDRA cell on American soil and the Avengers just had to join. Steve was already in his uniform when she came back.

He gave her a warm smile and clipped his shield on his back. "Bashki gone?"

Probably more in one way very soon, she thought to herself. "Yep."

She gave Steve a little show while she got ouf her regular clothes and changed into her suit. He took the scene in with vivid interest and followed every of her movements with his eyes.

"You know..." He said and walked over to her when she was done. He hugged her and let his hands rest on her ass. "I think for our honeymoon we should rent an island. People can do that, right?"

She laughed. "Shouldn't we plan the wedding first?"

He smiled down at her and kissed her. "Probably, but the honeymoon is just as important as the wedding!"

She rolled her eyes at him and grabbed his ass causing him to laugh. "Oh please, you're just thinking about all the sex we're gonna have during our honeymoon."

His cheeks turned slightly pink and she knew that she was right. "Can you blame me?"

No, she really couldn't. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her. She smirked up to him and kissed him one more time before they met Tony and Sam and the SHIELD agents to fly to Chicago to take out that HYDRA base.

* * *

They managed to bring down the base without any casualities on their side and European law enforcements were working on shutting down the HYDRA cells on the other side of the pond.

They were getting closer to their goal to end HYDRA once and for all but they still had nothing on Malick or knew where the four Winter Soldiers were and what their purpose was. Natasha would be lying if she hadn't thought about killing Malick but that would only solve the HYDRA issue temporaly. They had to find the money resources and Malick probably had someone to take over if anything would happen to him. Natasha's money was on the daughter but they had no evidence to prove Stephanie Malick's involvement. And since she was no longer a SHIELD agent and the President didn't order her to kill Malick, she could potentially get arrested for Malick's murder. He had to have powerful friends everywhere. But Natasha did wonder if Malick got nervous with all the HYDRA cells getting destroyed and if that would make him reckless and stupid.

They returned to New York after the raid in Chicago and Bucky greeted them with the news that the Attorney General was in town and would come by tomorrow to talk to him about his case and legal status. Steve wanted to be present for that meeting but only Bucky and his lawyers were allowed to be there.

"She might want to talk to you at a later point." Bucky said when he saw Steve's disappointed face. "She wants to make her own picture about me and talk with me about my options. Matt and Foggy think it's a very good sign that she wants to speak to be personally."

She hoped for Bucky that they were right. He deserved his freedom and the chance for redemption. And they could use another supersoldier on the team. Especially if they had to face four Winter Soldiers. Natasha didn't think that they could be so easily killed like the one in Trenton.

Natasha used the free afternoon to meet with a PI that Matt had recommended to her. She wanted to hire Jessica Jones to find dirt on Malick. His servers were supiciously clean and she didn't think that anyone would make the connection between the Avengers and Jones. Apparently Jones was one of a kind according to Matt and very good at her job.

The door of her apartment/office was open and Natasha just walked in. Jessica Jones (she had FRIDAY do an background check on her) was sitting on her desk and drinking bourbon right out of the bottle.

"Murdock didn't tell me the client would be an Avenger!" Jones grunted and took another sip.

Natasha crossed her arms. "That a problem?"

She wondered for a second if her life would have been similiar to Jones if she hadn't had SHIELD and now the Avengers in her life. Would she freelance and offer her skill set for money? She couldn't help but feel uncomfortable in Jones' shabby apartment. Her leather jacket had probably cost more than the monthly rent for this place. Natasha loved money and she loved spending it and she never realized how lucky she got that she didn't have to do too shady stuff to finance her life.

"As long as I don't have to wear a stupid costume and run around with you clowns, we're cool."

Natasha smirked. "I'm not here to recruit you, don't worry."

"Then why are you here, Romanoff?"

"You know who Gideon Malick is?"

Jones nodded. "The Word Council guy. Why? You have an affair with him?"

Natasha's eyes widened. "What? No, that's a big no!" Just the thought of that made her want to puke.

"Most people come because of that to me."

"It's nothing like that. I can assume this conversation stays between the two of us?"

Jones nodded and Natasha began to talk.

* * *

Natasha left Jones' office after she signed the check and Jones promised to get right to work. She liked the woman, she seemed like she knew what she was doing and would hopefully find something against Malick.

Natasha walked through the Upper East Side to find an engagement gift for Steve. Did women even do that? Give their financé something for their engagement? Steve had given her his dog tags and would give her an engagement ring eventually and wasn't it only fair if she would get him something in return?

But that left her with the question with what she should get him. Maybe a watch? A nice watch with something personal engraved? She suddenly had an idea and needed to get to her favourite jeweler in town. She hoped that he could get her what she wanted. It would be the perfect gift for Steve.

She turned around the corner smiling to herself because she knew that Steve would love her gift. He would say that it was too much but he deserved it. The jeweler was right across the street and she was about to cross the street when she stopped. A man was walking into the store and she immediately recognized those broad shoulders. That was her man! Was Steve looking for her ring? She suddenly felt giddy like the women did on those wedding shows and hid behind the corner. She was tempted to walk into the store but she didn't want to ruin the surprise. How did Steve even know about this jeweler? Did he google him? Steve wasn't really into jewelery at all. Did he tell someone besides Bucky about their engagement? Tony? Or maybe Pepper? Those were the only fancy people Steve knew.

She waited until Steve got out of the store and then waited another hour in a café before she visited her favourite jeweler in case Steve came back because he forgot something.

Michel Albert greeted her with champagne and didn't mention Captain America once. One of the things she liked about Michel was that he was very discreet. When she told him what she was looking for, he almost seemed to know who that piece was for but he didn't say a word. He promised to get it for her as soon as possible and to call her when it arrived. She hoped she would get it soon because she couldn't wait to see the look on Steve's face when he opened her present.

She bought two cheese cakes for her, Steve and Bucky on her way back to the Tower.

Bucky greeted her by the door and took the cake boxes out of her hand. "Thank god, you're here!"

She gave him a puzzled look. "Why?"

"Steve's been acting really weird. Saying that he's not sure if it was okay but he had to do it because it's tradition." Bucky explained but she wasn't really less confused. Was it about the engagement ring?

"He's in your bedroom." Bucky added and left to cut the cake.

Steve was stitting on the bed when she walked in. "Steve? Are you okay? Bucky said-"

"I told Fury about us!" He blurted out. "I called him for his blessings! I know we said we'll keep this quiet but he had to know! I should have probably asked him before I proposed to you."

So Fury told him about the jeweler.

But what did Fury have to do with their engagement? _Oh, right._ People asked the parents for their permission or blessings. Well, Fury was probably the closest thing she had to a father figure. He probably hadn't been thrilled when Steve told him that they were going to get married. If anyone would have a problem with Captain America marrying their whatever the hell she was to Fury, it would be him.

"What did he say?"

Steve looked surprised. "I thought you'd be mad at me for telling Fury or that it was old fashioned to ask for his blessings."

"I'm not mad and I know that it was something that people did back in your time, so it's okay." She sat down on his lap and he wrapped his arms around her. "So what did he say?"

"Said that he would do things to me that would make even HYDRA or Loki piss their pants, to quote him. He wasn't happy that I asked you without having a ring. And he hopes that I know how lucky I am that I'll get to be your husband. " He kissed her cheek. "And I do know that."

She smiled at him and kissed him. "Good answer."

"I think he was being dead serious when he said that he would kill me if I break your heart."

Knowing Fury, he probably was. "Don't let it come to that." She said remembering how she felt after he left her to be on the run with Bucky.

"Never!" He promised fiercely and kissed her deeply. She shifted in his lap to straddle him when there was a knock on the door.

"If you don't come out soon, I'm gonna eat that cheese cake by myself." Bucky yelled from the other side of the door.

Steve pulled his face away from her cleavage. "Did he say cheese cake?"

She got up from his lap and made sure that her shirt covered her bra again. She didn't need Bucky to know what colour her underwear had. "Should I feel offended that you seem to prefer cheese cake over me?"

"You can think of ways of how I can make it up to you while we eat that cake, okay?" He grinned and walked to the bedroom door.

Oh, she could definitely think of a few ways of how he could make it up to her. She hoped he didn't plan on getting much sleep tonight.

* * *

 _10 points to everyone who can guess what Nat's gift to Steve will be!_


	57. Chapter 57

_Thank you for your reviews, fave and follows!_

* * *

Chapter 57

Bucky met the next morning with the AG and his lawyers and Steve was a nervours wreck. They weren't allowed to join the meeting and Natasha tried her best to distract Steve by telling him that she met with an PI to get closer to Malick's end but he didn't really listen to her. Not that she could blame him, she was nervous too.

She really hoped that Bucky would come back with good news. He deserved to know what would happen to him.

Coulson called her and told her that fifteen high-ranking HYDRA members had been arrested and that he and his team would fly to Europe to get them to talk. Hopefully they would fold like Bashki and this nightmare would soon be over and they could start planning their wedding. She had looked at wedding planning sites while Steve had been in the shower and according to them she had to decide what kind of bride she was. Was she a spring, summer, autuum or winter bride? Steve didn't really like the cold, so that was off the table. Summer was almost over and she hoped that she didn't have to wait until the next one for their wedding. Maybe HYDRA would be gone soon and she could be an autuum bride? She had to contact Lagerfeld so he could start with her dress.

Steve tried to watch the news but he turned the tv off and looked at her. "What's taking them so long? Bucky has been talking to the AG for three hours now!"

"I don't know." She shrugged her shoulders and moved closer to him on the couch. "But I think it's a good sign. Maybe they're working on a deal or something."

Steve didn't seem completely convinced but wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she snuggled into his side.

Another hour passed and Bucky finally came back with a smile on his face. Well, that meant it went well, didn't it?

"And?" Steve got up from the couch.

"The Department of Justice will grant me amnesty!" Bucky said and Steve stormed towards him and hugged him.

"That's amazing!"

Yeah, it really was! She walked over to congratulate Bucky as well. Then she walked to the kitchen to get the bottle of champagne she had gotten just in case.

"Let's toast to that!" She exclaimed and handed Steve three glasses and filled them. "Today begins the rest of your free life, Bucky!"

They clinked their glasses. Bucky told them that the amnesty counted for every crime he had committed against the States as the Winter Soldier and that the DOJ was in contact with other countries to advise them to do the same. After the annoucement tomorrow he would be free and could leave the Tower whenever he wanted. But he was advised to say in the States as long as the other countries didn't grant him amnesty as well.

"I talked to Tony." Bucky said after they finished the bottle of champagne. "And he lets me stay here at the Tower. You two can go back to your apartment."

"Bucky-" Steve began but Bucky raised his hand to stop him.

"No, you two are getting married and you should have your apartment to yourselves. I can't thank you enough for letting me stay with you and then staying here at the Tower with me but I know it can't be like that forever. Stevie, you're gonna be a husband soon."

Well yeah, she wanted to live with Steve alone but she would also miss having Bucky around. He was her family now. "Thank you, Bucky. But I think Steve and I should stay here as well until HYDRA is gone."

Steve nodded. "Nat's right. I don't want to lie, I love living with you but I also look forward to be with Natasha alone again. And to be back in Brooklyn."

"Good." Bucky stood up from the couch. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to tell Sam that I'm gonna live here for good." Bucky smirked. "He's gonna be pissed!"

* * *

The next days were except for Bucky's freedom quiet. Steve took Bucky around New York to show him all the things he missed in the last seventy years and Natasha was in contact with Chanel to get her wedding dress done. After reminding Lagerfeld that he owed her one, he agreed to design her dress and had already sent her a few sketches and she told him what she liked and didn't like.

Her jeweler contacted her that he didn't get Steve's gift yet but he got a tip that he would follow. God, she didn't realize how hard it would be to get it.

The team had a meeting yesterday and they all voted for Bucky to join the Avengers. Even Sam.

She was in the living room looking at different types of weddding dresses online to give Lagerfeld more clues about what she wanted when Bucky came back from their trip.

"Good, you're here!"

Natasha raised her eyebrows in question.

"There was a flooding in your apartment. Steve's there and talking to the plumbers." He wrinkled his noise. "Your walk in closet got the most damage."

"What?" She yelled. That could not be happening. She stored valuable items there. Shoes and bags that weren't available anymore. "Please tell me you're joking!"

"No, sorry. I think Steve sent me to tell you because he was scared how you would react."

Well, he hadn't been wrong but a pipe burst was mostly no one's fault. They did live in an old building. She shut her laptop and got up. "I'm gonna head over to see the damage myself."

God, she hoped her leather jacket collection survived. She took her Corvette and got surprisingly fast to Brooklyn. Maybe the New Yorker traffic knew she was in a bad mood.

The apartment door was closed and she heard no construction noises. Did they have to wait until the mess would be fixed? She unlocked the door and had to take a double look. The apartment was dark but there were dozens and dozens of candles ligthing up the place. A path of rose petals showed her the way to the living room. She had to smile to herself. There was definitely no flooding.

Steve was standing in the middle of the living room on a blanket with a picnic basket on. He smiled brightly when she walked in.

"What's this?" She asked and couldn't stop grinning.

"You deserve a traditional proposal." Steve got on one knee and opened a small black box. "Natasha, I love you. I know that I will always love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life by your side. So I am asking you again, will you marry me?"

She kneeled down as well and cupped his face to kiss him. "Yes, you know I do!"

He smiled into their kiss and then took her left hand and slid the most beautiful ring she'd ever seen on her finger. She wasn't one of those women who knew since they were a little girl how their dream ring would look but she knew that this was the perfect one. The ring was white-gold with a square diamond in the middle and one baguette diamond on each side.

"I love it!" She whispered while looking at her hand.

"You do?"

"Yes!" Steve seemed relieved and kissed her again. She was a bit sad that her gift for him wasn't here yet but that left her time to surprise him as well. She really thought the apartment was flooded.

They enjoyed a picnic on their living room floor and she couldn't stop staring at her ring. She never thought she would be that kinda girl but she wanted to flash her ring into everyone's face.

"I want to tell the others."

"Really?" Steve looked so happy and she hated herself for asking him to keep their engagement a secret.

"Really. We know that they won't tell anyone so HYDRA won't find out."

* * *

They stayed the night at their apartment and made love on the living room floor and then finally again in their own bed. She let Steve drive them back to the Tower so she could play with her ring. Steve tokk her hand from time to time to press a kiss on her skin.

Tony, Sam and Bucky were eating breakfast when they came to the common floor. Bucky was grinning from ear to ear when they walked in, probably proud of himself for fooling her.

"We have to tell you something." Steve announced and Sam and Tony looked at them.

"You're kicking Barnes out?" Sam asked, probably only half joking.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "No!" And then she did something she never thought she would do. She held her left hand up to show her ring off.

Tony choked on his coffee and Sam immediately looked at Bucky who was still grinning.

"You're engaged?" Tony asked.

"He knew?!" Sam accused at the same time. Bucky just winked at Sam who clenced his jaw. "Not cool, not cool at all!"

Tony got up from his seat and hugged her and then Steve. "Well, congratulations!" Tony eyed Steve. "Blink twice if she's forcing you!"

"Tony!" Steve warned and rolled his eyes. "You know how much I love her."

Stark gave them a warm smile. "Yeah, I do. I'm really happy for you two. You can use one of my houses for your honeymoon. I got them all around the globe. Just remember to sanatize the place before you leave!"

"I can't believe you told the hobo and not me!" Sam whined but got up to congratulate them as well. "And you once told me you don't have a thing for red heads!"

Steve laughed. "I only got a thing for one red head."

* * *

 _Check my profile out if you wanna see the ring_


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter 58

* * *

Bucky was allowed to leave for his first mission with SHIELD that way he was under law enforcement superivison. Steve was a bit nervous that he wouldn't be by his side but he knew Coulson would have an eye on Bucky. He tried his best not be a worried mama chicken like Nat teased him but it was weird that Buck would be out there on a mission without him.

"You wanna pack Bucky a care package?" Natasha joked when she walked into the kitchen the morning Bucky was going to leave for SHIELD. "I know you're nervous but he's really good. Don't worry, babe!" She kissed his cheek and poured herself a glass of juice.

Bucky came in a few minutes later already ready to leave. He took an offered slice of toast and gulped a cup of coffee down. "Punk, it's gonna be okay. I'm not alone and it's just a raid."

Steve nodded and walked him to the roof where a SHIELD quinjet was waiting for him. "Be careful, Buck. I just got you back."

Bucky smiled at him and gave him quick hug. "I will. There's no way I'm gonna miss your wedding, punk!"

He watched the jet leave and then walked back inside. He had to call the President to talk about HYDRA and the future of the Avengers. Ellis told him that more HYDRA cells on American soil should be targeted to hopefully draw Malick out and that he would be willing to let the Avengers operate on their own if they could bring down HYDRA once and for all. Yeah that was no pressure at all, Steve thought grimly and hung up.

Natasha was out to talk to the PI she hired to figure out if Jones found something onf Malick. Steve didn't like to admit it but Malick was really smart. Who knew how long he had been a member of HYDRA. He hoped Nat came back with good news. He wanted to start thinking about their wedding. He was glad that the team knew and they facetimed the Bartons yesterday to tell them that they were engaged and Nat proudly showed of her ring and he still couldn't believe his luck that she wanted to marry him. He remembered a time where she didn't even want to admit that she had feelings for him. She had come such a long way.

Nat came back in the late afternoon and looked pretty excited.

"Did Jones find something?" He asked after he greeted her with a kiss.

"Well, Malick has an affair with a married woman from the Upper East Side but nothing on HYDRA yet. Jessica only got the case a few days ago. She'll find something eventually." But she was still smiling and seemed almost giddy.

"Then what got you in such a good mood?" He couldn't help but smile back at her.

She pulled something out of her bag. "I wanted to come up with a surprise but I can't wait to give it to you. I hope you like it." She smiled shyly and handed a box to him.

"You didn't have to get me anything, Nat." He said but took the box out of her hands.

"It's my engagement gift for you." She got her ring out of her pocket and slid it back on. They agreed that it would be better if she didn't wear it in public. "So you have something to wear that reminds you for me. And my love for you."

He got curious and opened the box. "Nat, that's too much!" He breathed out. It was a Rolex watch and those were freaking expensive. It looked like a vintage modell.

"Get it out." She said with big eyes. "Turn it around!"

He did as he was told and couldn't stop smiling. There was something engraved in Russian and he was glad that his Russian was good enough that he could read it. _"You are my happy ending"_

"Natasha!" He whispered and she took the watch to put it around his wrist.

"Back in the Red Room they made us watch Disney movies to lean to speak without an accent and they always told us that happy endings were an illusion and we would never get one. I always thought that was true even after I deflected but then I met you and fell in love with you and I realized I do get to have a happy ending. You're my happy ending."

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply. "You're my happy ending too!"

She smiled against his lips. "Are you stealing my line?"

He answered her by kissing her again. He wanted to show her how much he loved the gift by leading her to the bedroom. She pushed him onto the bed and straddled his waist.

She smiled down at him and slid his hands over her thighs. "That watch is as old as you by the way."

"Huh?" He had already been thinking about ways to show her his gratitude.

"It was made in 1918."

"Oh, Nat!" He sat up to kiss her again. "I love it so much. It's such a thoughtful gift. I'll never wear another watch."

She smiled a beautiful smile and he lowered her on the bed to worship the body of his future wife.

* * *

Natasha was laying on her stomach and he moved closer to kiss her shoulder and back. He wondered if he would ever get enough of her, probably not. He would always love and want her. He was kissing his way to her lower back when she started to chuckle.

"Quit it." She tried to slap him but he caught her wrist and kissed her finger tips. "Not all of us have super stamina."

He lightly bit into her beautfil buttom and she snorted. "Seriously, Rogers. You wore me out."

He kissed the spot he had bitten and then rested his head on her lower back. "Don't worry, I'm worn out too. That thing you did with your hips?" He kissed her skin again. "Amazing!"

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." He kissed his way up on her back. "I love you." He whispered into her ear.

She sighed and turned around. "I love you." She sighed sleepily. He brushed the hair from her forehead to kiss her again and then rolled them so she was tugged against his chest.

"Get some sleep, doll."

"Okay." She mumbled.

Suddenly her phone started ringing. "Ignore it!"

She was already half out of the bed. "You know I can't!" She walked to her leather jacket that was thrown on a chair and he admired her backside shamelessy while she fished for her phone in the pockets. Her face fell when she looked at the screen.

"Who is it?"

"Malick." She said grimly but her voice changed when she answered the phone. "Gideon!" They were on a first name basis? "Yes... I heard... Really?... Of course... I'll be there in an hour...Thank you for the invite...Bye."

Invite? "Where are you going to be in an hour?"

She put the phone on the dresser. "Malick invited me to his townhouse to talk about the World Council. He thinks it's infiltraded by HYDRA and I'm one of the few he knows he can trust."

Wow that dick had some nerve to pretend that he was worried that HYDRA was in the World Council. Of course, it fucking was. He was member of both parties! "I'm going with you!" He announced and jumped out of bed. He had to wince, their lovemaking made him a bit sore.

She shook her head. "It's better if I go alone. He thinks you and I are on bad terms. I can use that to make him trust me. Pretend that I don't like that you're back and taking the leading position from me."

"You can be leader-"

She held her hand up. "I know, honey. I told you that you can have it back and I meant that."

He watched her get ready for her meeting with Malick (it would be dinner, did the man think that it was a date?!) and tried to convince her to take at least Tony with her since the two of them met Malick for dinner while he was with Bucky gone.

He helped her into her coat. "What if it's a trap?"

"Then I'll handle it." She patted her thigs. "You know I'm never unarmed." Yeah, he watched her put her thigh holsters under her dress and that turned him more on than it probably should.

She kissed his cheek. "I'll talk to him and have dinner. I'm probably back in two or three hours." She slid her ring off and gave it to him. "Keep that one safe for me, will you?"

* * *

He checked his watch again. Nat had been gone for two hours. Well that seemed to be a normal amount of time.

He checked his watch again. Nat had been gone for three hours. Okay, that was still reasonable.

He checked his watch again. Nat had been gone for four hours. He was starting to get really worried. He called her cell but it went straight to voicemail.

"FRIDAY, can you please trace Natasha's phone?" She was probably still talking to Malick. No reason to freak out. He pulled her ring out of his pocket and played with it.

"I'm sorry, Captain Rogers. Miss Romanoff's phone if off, I can not trace her location."

His heart sank and he told FRIDAY to alert Tony, Sam and Rhodey. Something had happened to her. He just knew it. She wouldn't just turn her phone off when she knew that he was at home waiting for her return.

He was going to kill Malick with his bare hands if he had touched one perfect hair on her perfect head.

* * *

 _you guys had great ideas for Nat's gift to Steve! I hope you like the watch from 1918_


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter 59

Natasha was pissed. Mostly with herself but also with Malick. How could she not realize that her wine had been drugged? She really thought this whole time that Malick didn't know that they aware that he was HYDRA but he somehow figured it out. There could not been another reason why she had been drugged and woke up in a windowless cell. Was she still in Malick's house or had she been moved? She looked at the cell door, she couldn't break out on her own. She had to wait for someone to come so she could jump them and flee. Her weapons and phone had been taken. She put her ear against the wall but couldn't hear anything.

She hoped someone would show up soon so she could get the fuck out of here. She was bored. But how did Malick know that she knew about his HYDRA involvement?

* * *

Another hour passed and Natasha still hadn't turned her phone on. Steve was with Sam and Rhodey in Tony's lab and FRIDAY was currently looking if Natasha showed up on traffic cams. The last time Nat was seen was when she walked up to Malick's townhouse near Central Park.

"Steve!" Sam yelled and pointed at his water bottle. "You're breaking it!"

He put the bottle quickly down before he shattered it with his hands. "Sorry."

"So we're thinking Malick's holding Natasha against her will?" Tony asked.

"She wouldn't have turned her phone off." Steve was sure of that. "She knows how much I worry about her."

Rhodey nodded. "Okay, so what's our plan? Storm in and get her back?"

"We gotta be a bit more discreet than that." Sam said. "There's still the chance that she's totally fine or that they moved her to another location. If she's made and they took her hostage, they have to assume that we know that she was about to meet Malick."

Sam was right. Natasha probably wasn't at the townhouse anymore. "FRIDAY, did any cars leave Malick's house?"

A picture showed up on the big screen in Tony's lab. "Yes, one did. A van of a catering company. The company exists but also rents its vans. It left three hours ago."

Shit, if Natasha was in that van, she could be anywhere by now. Or what if they used the van to get rid of her bo... No, don't go there, Steve. She's alive.

FRIDAY's voice got him out of his dark thoughts. "I was able to find the van on other traffic cams. The last time it showed up was on a cam in West Chester."

"Malick got a mansion there." Tony said and put his Iron Man bracelets on. "Why would one catering van drive to two houses of the same guy? Doesn't make sense."

"So she's there?" Steve looked at the map on the screen that showed the mansion's location. "Suit up. Jet leaves in five minutes." He didn't care what was waiting for him in West Chester, he didn't care if he walked into a trap. He would get in that house and save his girl.

* * *

The door got finally unlocked and Natasha was ready to attack. She didn't have any weapons on her and she hoped that not a Winter Soldier was opening that door right now. She wouldn't really stand a chance against one without her gear if they even managed to overpower Bucky.

The door was open and she wasted no second and attacked. She jumped on the person's shoulders causing them both to fall, a tray with food fell to the ground, and she tightened her legs around the man until he passed out. She thanked Thor and any other God listening that it wasn't one of the Winter Soldiers who came to bring her food. She checked the man's body for weapons and found a gun and knife. She took both and his phone and got out of her cell.

She seemed to be in a basement of an old mansion. Was she in West Chester? Careful not to make any sounds she walked through the basement and up the stairs with her gun drawn. She was sure that she was in Malick's mansion when she reached the top of the stairs and could look through the foyer. She had been here before and even if she hadn't been here before the portrait of Gideon and Stephanie Malick told her exactly who was living here. She wanted to use the phone she took to call Steve, he was probably worried sick because he couldn't reach her, but the cell was locked and she didn't have the time to get back to the basement to get the guy's thumb print. Fuck! She had to contact Steve later to tell him that she was okay.

She should use the time until they noticed that the man wasn't coming back from his food delivery to check out the house. If she was already here, she could look if she would find anything on Malick and HYDRA.

She listened for any noises and when she didn't hear anything she sneaked up the stairs to the second floor. Maybe she would find something in Malick's private rooms. The hallway was clear and she checked each door until she found the one to Malick's bedroom. The room didn't lock suspicious but the giant portrait of Wagner's Götterdämmerung got her attention. Hadn't the Wagners and Hitler been close? She walked to the portrait and moved it to the side and she heard a clicking sound behind her.

She turned and had to smile. She hit the jackpot. A bookshelf moved and a secret passage appeared. God, Tony would be having a field day with this. She hoped her boys figured out that she had been taken and were on their way to her.

She got down the small secret hallway and stopped in front of what looked like a sanctuary for HYDRA. The HYDRA logo was painted on the wall and framed pictures of Red Skull, Hitler and one of Pierce and Malick were put on display. They could finally prove that Malick was a member of HYDRA. There was a bookshelf on one side of the room and Natasha was willing to bet that those books and files were more proof that Malick was a fucking Nazi. Was this what they needed to bring HYDRA down once and for all? Could she finally start to actually plan her wedding? She almost considered to thank Malick for drugging her and taking her to here, who knew how long it would have taken them to find this?

The phone she took began to vibrate in her hand. Someone was looking for the guy. She got out of the secret passage and moved the painting in the bedroom again so the bookshelf would close. She needed to get out of here and get back to the Manhattan so the Avengers and SHIELD could raid this place.

She just closed the door when a Winter Soldier came towards her. Fuck, they noticed that she escaped. The woman came running towards her and Natasha wasted no second and aimed the gun at the Winter Soldier's head and pulled the trigger. One down, three to go. She wondered if the rest of the supersoldiers was here or if this one was just Malick's personal bodyguard. A woman didn't draw that much attention to her than some buff dude. Natasha checked the magazine, she had sixteen bullets left and she hoped they weren't more than sixteen people in this house. It was probably only a matter of seconds until her next opponent came because there was no way that gunshot had been unheard.

Three men who didn't have the empty Winter Soldier look in their eyes were running up the stairs and Natasha didn't hesitate and fired three times killing them. Suddenly there was a loud crash of broken glass behind her and she turned and saw how one Winter Soldier got decapitated with Captain America's shield. Natasha smiled, Steve was here. She picked the shield up from the floor and walked to the window careful not to step into the blood of the dead Winter Soldier. And there he was in his uniform, standing strong and tall on the ground and was clearly relieved when he looked up at the window and saw her. She waved at him and held the shield up so he could get it back with the magnets on his wrist but he shook his head. So she kept it, picked up the rifle the Winter Soldier had on him and walked down the stairs to meet the rest of the group.

Steve was already in the foyer throwing some guy through a window when she was downstairs. "Are you okay, Nat?"

"Yes, don't worry." She clocked someone with Steve's shield who thought he could get the jump on her. She was pretty sure it was the guy she attacked in the basement. "I know you'd find me."

Steve came to her side and took his shield from her and cupped her cheek briefly. "I was so worried." He whispered and then looked over her head. "Where's Malick? I have a fist I like him to meet." His eyes were dark and dangerous. She shouldn't probably find it that hot, right?

"I don't even know if he's here." She closed her eyes trying to remember what had happened to her before she woke up in a cell. "He opened the door and let me in. He offered me a drink and then... I think I got drugged. I don't remember anything else."

"We'll find him."

"Where's the rest?"

"Putting the people to sleep who tried to get away when we showed up. Tony was so kind to let me save the damsel in distress." He rolled his eyes and then smiled down at her. "Not that my Nat needs much saving."

She shook her head in amusement and then took Steve's hand to show him what she had found. She highly doubted that Malick was still in the house. He probably used the two other Winter Soldiers to get him out of here when the boys arrived.

Steve's jaw almost hit the floor when they got to the secret passage. "Wow!" He looked around and grimaced when he saw the photo of Johann Schmidt. "You think that's enough proof?"

"It's definitely enough to prove that Malick is HYDRA. We'll have to see what's in those books and files here. Maybe there's even more in this house. We should get SHIELD here to take a look at it."

"There you a-" Sam was suddenly in the room and his eyes widened. "Holy shit! You found the motherlode!"

Natasha nodded. "Sam, get Redwing to scan everything and send it to President Ellis and Coulson. It's time to put Malick on the most wanted list."

They searched the house from top to bottom but Malick and the two Winter Soldiers were nowhere to be found. Maybe they hadn't even been here while Natasha had been unconscious in the basement.

Coulson and his team (including Bucky) were on their way to the Tower to take a look at the things the Avengers took from Malick's house. President Eliis had sent Secret Service agents who monitored the house in case Malick would come back.

Steve insisted that she should get checked in the infirmary since they didn't know what Malick gave her to drug her while the others brought the books and files into Tony's lab. As it turned out she still had toxins in her system and had to be hooked on fluids that would flush those toxins out. A member of the World Council called her and told her that all of Malick's clearance levels and access had been denounced and the Council was shocked that they had been infiltrated by HYDRA. President Ellis basically put the whole Council on the bench until they could be sure that no other members were Nazis.

"Hey!" The door of her room in the infirmary opened and Steve came in with a bottle of juice and a bagel. "Thought you might be hungry."

"Thanks, honey."

She made room for Steve on the bed and he got onto it. He lifted his arm and she snuggled against his chest. "I hope you weren't too worried about me, Steve."

"I'll always worry about you, Nat." He kissed the top of her head. "You should know that. Just the thought that something... I can't lose you."

"You won't." She promised him and to herself. She would always try to get back to him. She didn't want him to live with the pain of losing her.

He brushed his fingers through her hair. "I know you can hold your own. I don't worry about you because I don't think you can protect yourself. I hope you know that."

"I do, Steve. I know what you mean. I worry about you, too. Even though you're Captain America or maybe because you are Captain America."

Steve's other hand moved to his front pocket and he pulled her engagement ring out of his pants. She smiled up at him and gave him her left hand to slide the ring back on. "You think we'll get to have our wedding soon?"

"I hope so." She rubbed her cheek against his chest. "Chanel is already working on my dress by the way."

"Really?" Curiosity was strong in his voice. "What's it gonna look like?"

Natasha chuckled into his chest. "You're gonna have to wait until I walk down the aisle."

"I can't wait for that to happen." He kissed the top of her head again.

"Me, too."


	60. Chapter 60

Chapter 60

Steve was just happy that Natasha was safe and back in his arms and traded lazy kisses with her. They were still in the infirmary and someone would come and get them if there were new developments. He couldn't stop picturing Natasha in a wedding dress since she told him that she was already working on it. He couldn't wait to see her in it but he already knew one thing for sure, she would be the most beautiful bride to ever walk down the aisle.

He explored her mouth with his tongue and slid one hand into the back of her pants. Natasha grinned into the kiss. "You're so predictable, Rogers!"

He feigned an innocent smile. "What? Can you blame me?" He kissed her until she was out of breath. "You think we have enough time to make love real quick?"

Natasha chuckled against his lips. "When have we ever done that?"

She was right, one round was never enough. For both of them. He kept telling her so much that he loved her so she knew that he didn't just wanted her body. He wanted her heart and soul as well.

Natasha cupped his face with her hand and he saw that she still had the IV in. They couldn't make love right now, he didn't want to hurt her. She seemed to read his mind because she kissed him and then settled against his chest with a content sigh.

"I love you so much." She whispered.

He kissed the top of her head. "I love you, too. So freaking much."

"That's nice." She mumbled sleepily and he chuckled lightly.

Natasha was already dozing off judging by her breathing when FRIDAY startled her. "I'm sorry to interrupted but Director Coulson and Sergeant Barnes have arrived. Mister Stark wants you to join them on the common floor if the two of you and I quote aren't playing hide the zucchini right now."

Natasha rolled her eyes and he helped her get the IV out of the crook of her arm. "Remind me to punch him for that, Steve."

He kissed her cheek. "With pleasure."

* * *

Coulson, Bucky, May and a young woman who Steve didn't know were waiting with the rest of the Avengers for him and Natasha. Bucky immediately ran towards Nat and hugged her. She chuckled lightly and patted Bucky's back. Steve had told him that Nat had disappeared and his heart warmed at the sight, he was so happy that his girl and his best friend got along so well. He remembered how he didn't like a few of Buck's girlfriends back in the day and knew it made his life so much easier that his future wife and brother were friends as well.

"Woah!" May exclaimed. "Nice rock you got there, Romanoff!"

Steve was a bit confused but then he realized that she meant Natasha's engagement ring. Should he have called Coulson as well to tell him about their engagement?

Natasha let go of Bucky and looked at May. "Steve and I are engaged."

Coulson smiled brightly at them while May was smirking. "Congratulations you two!"

"Yeah." May nodded. "And here I thought it wasn't like that between the two of you."

Nat rolled her eyes and greeted the other woman. "Agent Johnson, nice to see you're still with SHIELD."

Johnson smiled shyly and Steve introduced himself. As it turned out the young agent was here to help Tony and FRIDAY to hack into more HYDRA servers to find the money sources to bring the organization down. Without money, there would be no HYDRA. Tony and Johnson left to go to his labs to hack their way into HYDRA.

"Natasha." Coulson asked. "Do you remember what Malick did before you were made?"

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Everything was normal. He welcomed me and said that there was reason to believe that HYDRA had infiltrated the World Council." She rolled her eyes. "Duh! Then he said that dinner would be ready soon and if I wanted a drink. He made us martinis and those were fine." She stared at the wall behind Coulson trying to remember. "He asked before dinner how things were with you." She looked at Steve. "I told him that we were still broken up. We had salad and wine and I think that was spiked because my memory ends there."

How could Malick know that Nat had been lying? Only the Avengers knew they were back together and engaged. May spoke up. "Does anyone else know about your relationship?"

"No."

Nat's eyes widened. "Michel Albert!"

"Who?" He, Coulson and Bucky asked in unison.

"The jeweler who made my ring and found your watch!" Natasha said and pulled her phone out calling someone. "He's not picking up. I think he knew how that watch was for and if he figured that out, he probably had an idea who you brought that ring for."

"So he sold us out?" Fury had told him about Albert and guaranteed him that he was discreet and no one would ever know that Captain America bought an engagement ring.

Nat shook her head. "No, I don't think so. Maybe someone saw one of us getting into his store and they took him."

"And made him talk." May finished and Natasha nodded. Fuck! They had to assume that Albert was dead. Another innocent life taken by HYDRA.

"We can assume that Malick is still in the country. He can't use any private planes or ones of the World Council and HYDRA has no access to quinjets. There's no way he could leave the States without us noticing. The whole world is now looking for him." Coulson said. "He's either driving up to Canada or hiding somewhere here."

America was big and who knew how many secret hiding places HYDRA had. It could take months or even years until they would find him. Natasha suddenly stood up. "I'll meet with Jones. Maybe she got something for us. I'll make her let me look at her files."

"Do you want me to come with you?" He knew he was probably being overprotective but he had lived with the fear of losing her for over five hours and it was still haunting him. He knew Natasha could protect her herself but he still felt better if he could see with his own eyes that she was okay.

He expected her to tell him that she would go alone but to his surprise she said yes. Even Coulson looked surprised but didn't say anything. But Bucky did. "Send me a text every hour! Both of you! We don't know if HYDRA is already working on a new plan. If you don't check in, I'm coming after you!"

"Okay, mom." Natasha said dryly and they left the Tower to meet Jones.

* * *

They took Nat's Corvette to drive to Jones and got stuck in traffic. Natasha was driving and humming to a song on the radio. He looked at her and couldn't stop smiling.

She looked at him and smiled back. "What?"

"Nothing." He shook his head still grinning. "It's just... You're more than I ever imagined. I never thought I would get to have this. My ma always used to say that I would find someone but I was so sure that it would never happen. I met Peggy and for some time I thought that maybe it could happen with her but we never got the chance to actually get to know each other. To fall in love with each other. And I thought that was it. But then I saw this beautiful redheaded woman on a helicarrier and I just thought wow what a dame and then.." He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. "And then I fell in love with her."

Natasha was slightly blushing. "And she fell in love with you too."

"And that makes me the luckiest guy in the world!"

"Are you sad that you missed your chance with Peggy?" She asked quietly.

"No." He shook his head. He knew that everything happened the way it was meant to be. "We weren't supposed to end up together. Her soulmate was her husband and my soulmate is you."

She smiled but seemed a bit sad. He wanted to ask her why but she already spoke up. "I know it's probably a horrible thing to say but I'm glad you crashed into the ice. I'm not glad it you had to go through that!" She added quickly. "But otherwise we wouldn't have met. I know I wouldn't have fallen in love with anyone else. I would have been alone."

He squeezed her hand and assured her that he knew what she meant. He knew that he was meant to live in this century and to be with her. He would have gladly spend another seventy years frozen if it had been the only way to meet her.

They already entered Hell's Kitchen when Nat asked him a question he had been thinking about since he proposed. "Who's gonna be your best man? Bucky or Sam?"

He sighed. His immediate answer would be Bucky. He was his oldest friend and brother. But Sam was also a good friend and stood by his side and helped him look for Buck even though he didn't had to. If Bucky hadn't showed up, he would have asked Sam to be his best man but now... He didn't want to hurt Sam. He sighed again. "Bucky but I don't wanna tell Sam."

"You have to eventually. I'm sure he'll understand. Or you have two best men. One carries the ring and the other one gives a speech but tell the one who carries my ring that I will castrate him if he loses it!"

Steve had to chuckle. "I guess that's one way. But then maybe Tony feels left out." God, did everyone have these problems when they were planning their wedding?

"Tony is not going to give the speech!"

"Are you gonna have a maid of honor or is Clint your...man of honor?" Was there a special word for that? He should really buy a few wedding magazines.

Nat parked the car. "I think I'll ask Clint to walk me down the aisle. Do you think he'll do it?"

"Of course he will!"

"And I want Laura to be my maid of honor. I never told you but she was the first one I admitted to that I was in love with you. She helped me open up to you."

He promised himself to thank Laura for that the next time he saw her. He hadn't known she had played such a big part in his happiness.

"An hour passed." Nat got her phone out of her purse. "We better text mom!"

* * *

Jones turned out to be an interesting person. She was grumpy and Steve was also pretty sure that she was slightly drunk but she did find some properties that belonged to Malick and Nat texted Coulson the addresses so he could sent SHIELD agents to check them out.

"Anything on that woman Malick is banging?" Natasha asked while reading one of Jones' files.

Jones was staring at him. "I feel like I should stand up and do the pledge of alliance with Captain America being here."

Natasha snorted.

"That's not necessary, Miss Jones." Was she serious or just messing with him? She didn't seem very happy when Natasha showed up with him. Nat had already told him that Jones didn't like Avengers thing.

"I wonder who's stronger. You or Jessica? You two should totally arm wrestle!" Nat looked up from her file. "Ever thrown a Harley into a tank?"

Jones seemed actually intrigued by that. "Haven't tried it yet."

Steve really thought they had more important fish to fry right now. "What about Malick's lover? Is she HYDRA? Maybe she knows where Malick is."

"I don't know if she's a Nazi but when I looked into her I found a lodge in Vermont under her name. Maybe your guy's hiding there."

He looked at Nat who nodded. It was worth a try. He would send Tony, Sam and Rhodey to check it out. They could be there in a hour with a quinjet. He hoped that Malick was hiding there and they could bring him it. It was time that Malick would pay. Steve sent Tony the address and reminded him to be careful since there were still two Winter Soldiers out there.

The door opened and he and Nat both turned around. A young man in his mid twenties came in carrying a laptop and a doggy bag. "Hey Jess. Brought you the rest of my lunch." He seemed now to notice that Jones wasn't alone. "Are those..." He pointed at him and Natasha with wide eyes.

"No." Jones grunted out. "I hope you didn't bring me a fucking salad."

* * *

 _Who do you think would win that arm wrestle match? Steve or Jessica?_

 _As always thank your for your reviews, faves and follows! Means the world to me and keeps me motivated. I can't believe this is already chapter 60!_


	61. Chapter 61

Chapter 61

Malick wasn't in Vermont but the woman who he was having an affair with did give them the tip that eventually led them to him. Apparently the woman wasn't very happy when she found out that her lover was the head of a Nazi organization. They found him near the Canadian border guarded by the remaining two Winter Soldiers. Natasha shot one of them while May got the other one. Malick was clearly shocked that they located him and Natasha wished she had took a picture when they stormed his house because the look on his face was priceless. He clearly thought that he would get away with it. They brought Malick to the Playground so no loyal HYDRA thugs would try to rescue him.

Natasha joined Coulson in his office. Steve and Tony were at the White House to brief the President while Coulson asked her to stay here to get Malick to talk. "Has he said anything yet, Phil?"

He shook his head. "No, he wants to talk to a lawyer. Funny guy."

She got an idea. "Any word on his daughter?"

"She was in Europe when everything blew up. She has to be still there. Europol is looking for her."

She nodded. "Okay. I'll talk to Malick now if it's okay with you."

"Of course."

She walked with a water bottle into the interrogation room and sat down. She pushed the water bottle over to Malick. "Don't worry it's not spiked."

Malick smirked. "It was nothing personal, Miss Romanoff. You were lying to me and a risk that needed to be dealt with."

She leaned back into the chair and crossed her arms. "And now you're the risk that needs to be dealt with. I hope you like the ocean. You're gonna spend a lot of time there."

"The Raft is for enhanced people." He raised an eyebrow. "I am not one of them."

"No, but the President thinks that it's the right place for you to spend the rest of your days unless..."

"Unless what?"

"Unless you give up HYDRA's money sources and the names of the other high-ranking members."

"Never."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Worth a shot." She got up and walked to the door. Her hand was already on the handle when Malick spoke again. "That's it? No torture?"

Natasha turned around with a smile. "Oh no. Torture is overrated, people tend to say all kinds of things to end it. But I do wonder how your daughter is." She walked back and placed her hands on the chair back. "She's in Europe, isn't she?"

Malick's face darkened. "What does she have to do with this?"

"Potentially a lot. Don't they say that no love is greater than the one of a parent? How much do you love your daughter, Gideon?"

Sweat was building on his forehead and she knew that she had him. "Why?"

She gave him a sweet smile. "Well, if you don't cooperate with us, I have to punish you. Maybe I kill her quick and she won't feel a thing or I kill her slowly over several hours."

"You wouldn't!" He yelled and tried to stand up from his chair but couldn't because he was tied to it.

She jumped over the table and brought his chair to fall and placed one boot on his throat. "We both know I not only would but will kill her." And she really would go after her and kill her if it meant bringing down HYDRA once and for all.

"You'll never find her. She's protected!"

"You mean how no one would find Ward or the list?" She put more pressure on his throat. "I found both. And I will hunt your daughter down and kill her. I will leave right this moment to find her if you don't give me what I want!" She pressed her foot into his throat until he began to choke.

"Fine!" She pulled a foot a bit away. "I give you what you want, just please don't hurt her!"

"I will if you lie to us!"

She helped him back up and placed pen and paper in front of him and after frowning at her he began to write.

She obviously didn't lose her touch because Malick gave them access to accounts, offshore firms and trust founds that had been financing HYDRA for a long time. Several powerful HYDRA members who managed to stay hidden after SHIELD fell were now discovered and arrested. Stephanie Malick was arrested in Milano and brought back to the States where she would be put on trial. Having no more aces up his sleeves and with all the evidence against him Malick pleaded guilty and was sentenced to life in the Raft.

The Avengers celebrated their victory at the Tower with a party and invited Coulson's team as well. Pepper was here and it looked like she and Tony were on their way to get back together. And Natasha could see a little romance brewing between Bucky and Sharon who he invited to the party as his date.

Steve came up the stairs to the little podium she was standing on to watch her friends. He handed her a glass of champagne and kissed her. "To HYDRA's defeat!"

"To HYDRA's defeat!" She agreed and clinked her glass with his.

"Have I told you how proud I am that you got Malick to talk?" He took the glass out of her hand placed it on the banister and then wrapped his arms around her.

"You have." She smiled up at him. "Several times."

"I think I have to show you again later." He winked at her and let his arms wander to her ass.

"Smooth, Rogers!" She laughed. "You know what that means, right? Now that HYDRA is gone?"

He beamed at her. "We can finally get married!" He kissed her. "I can't wait to be your husband."

* * *

Three months later

"Natasha!" Laura gasped when she and Pepper came out of the bathroom. "You look so beautiful!"

"Yeah?" She couldn't help but do a little twirl to show of her wedding gown. Chanel really did a great job with her dress. She loved every little detail of it. It was perfect, it looked elegant yet sexy. It was an ivory mermaid dress with a trail and covered in thousands of pearls and crystals. She chose not to wear a veil and Pepper borrowed her diamond clips that held her bun in place.

"Okay, you've got something new, your dress. And you borrowed something from Pepper." Laura listed while taking pictures of her with her phone.

"The clips are vintage!" Pepper added.

Laura nodded. "Okay, so you only need something blue."

"I already got it and only Steve will see it." She grinned at her friends with a wink.

Pepper and Laura laughed and Lila came running into the room. She looked so cute in her flower girl dress. "Oh Auntie Nat! You look so so pretty!"

She kneeled down and gave Lila a kiss on her cheek. "So do you, pumpkin!"

Clint came in after Lila and smiled at Natasha brightly. "You look amazing, Tasha!"

"Thank you."

"Okay." Laura took Lila's hand. "Pepper and I are gonna meet Bucky and Sam and you two wait for your signal." She gave Clint a brief kiss and then left with her daughter and Pepper.

"Nervous?"

She shook her head. "Actually no. I thought I would be but I'm just excited. I can't wait to marry Steve."

Clint offered her his arm. "I'm so happy for you." They walked through Tony's vineyard in South France that he generously let them use for their wedding.

"Ready?" Clint asked her before they got to the ballroom where the ceremony would take place.

"Yes!"

"Then let's get you married!"

The music started and she entered the room. Steve in his tuxedo was waiting for her under the flower arch and smiled at her brightly when she walked down the aisle. The butterflies in her stomach were going crazy, she couldn't believe it was finally happening. In a few minutes she would be his wife.

She walked past by their friends and family and Clint placed her hand into Steve's when they reached him. "You are so beautiful, Nat." Steve whispered to her. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She whispered back.

"Okay, you have time for that later." Fury grunted and everyone laughed. Fury gave her a small smile before he continued. "We are here today to witness Steve and Natasha vow eternal love to each other..."

To be honest she couldn't really remember much of the ceremony (she had to watch the tape later) but all she knew was that she was now married to Steve. She was his wife! She almost wanted to squeal but she knew that Tony would never let her live that one down so she controlled herself.

She was dancing with her husband! Steve led them over the dance floor smoothly and she had to think back to the time where she taught him how to dance. The others joined them on the dance floor but her focus was only on Steve and the way he looked at her. Like she was the most precious thing he had ever seen. His fingers kept playing with her wedding ring and he gave her these secret little smiles.

"We've done it, doll!" He kissed her deeply and someone whistled. "We're finally married!"

"Are you happy?"

He smiled brightly. "More than I ever thought I could be! Are you?"

"Yes, so much!" Her cheeks already hurt from smiling so much but she couldn't stop. "I love you, Steve. And I always will."

He twirled her and then dipped her. "I will always love you, too!"

The End

* * *

 _Thank you all for reading! And for reviewing!_


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